Beruthiel's Compliments

Submission Reviews

• The Bobbiter- It will cut your problems in half!
  
  You may be interested to know that such is the fame of the case involved, even u ...
• Double foot Super Cleaner.
  
  Dear Sir Allow me to add my testimonial. The seven seconds required to use this ...
• MY WRATH
  
  I love the bathetic ending to what was seemingly such a hubristic exercise!
• Bored
  
  Not bad, Lycan.  Unfortunately (for the terms of the challenge), no world is bot ...
• Arlington Tweets for the Historically Minded
  
  I greatly enjoyed these! (and, despite being in UK, found them quite comprehensi ...
• masks
  
  Content: Wow - this one is bitter! I hope that you are no longer where you were ...
• Last Laugh
  
  General: Yep - like it!  Plot: I didn't see that one coming... Duh!  Character D ...
• Sacrifices Must Be Made
  
  I think this is the best of the 'supernatural' genre entries.  It is well-exec ...
• It's What's Inside
  
  Beautifully described crescendo of reaction. A very good invitation into the wor ...
• 2. Chapter 2
  
  General: That is MUCH better!  Tone/Voice: Not only have you fixed the POV probl ...
• Grammar "Rules"
  
  I don't know how I missed this before! I concur that this is the best entry that ...
• Temptation
  
  Very well done. This is one of the few subs where you can't see the rules constr ...
• Launcelot's Last Day
  
  A couple of comments more:  I understand why you don't want to use the correct ...
• Mr.Manadin's Day Off
  
  It's OK - I had got that he is a psych doc - my comments re clinic & hours still ...
• Launcelot's Last Day
  
  Yea, thou hast verily the bord bigonne, my leonine friend!   This most insigni ...
• A Day in the life of the Repo Man (in real time)
  
  Ouch. Tough schedule!  I don't think you should denigrate your writing by comp ...
• Mona Kit Skin and Cardboard Plans
  
  You have stuck rigorously to the terms of the Challenge, in giving a routine rat ...
• 1 The elephant in the room
  
  You have the knack of conveying your memories really vividly. Sadly, this is a f ...
• A Killer Agreement
  
  This is a nicely crafted description. You set a scene vividly.  The embargo on ...
• The Marathon
  
  General: Gulliver, the Challenge clearly states that the piece must be written " ...
• Texan River Dance
  
  Nope - sorry, still stumped! (And that's from someone who's got called 'confusin ...
• A White Coat, a Pen and some Serious Malfeasance
  
  No - this entry migt be off the wall, but it isn't off-topic. The story is bizar ...
• Insufferable Passion
  
  I would expect you to do this well, since you set this.  You don't disappoint. ...
• The Girl in the Library
  
  Yes, we know you do scenes of sexual attraction well, but I feel this really doe ...
• Deaf End
  
  I have to agree with what has been said earlier.  This is great stuff; but the ...
• Unconsciously, I do.
  
  General: This is simple, and beautiful.  Structure: You have judged the length p ...
• Snowflakes and Water balloons
  
  Plot: Why have you set the memory in a snow-covered landscape? Surely the water- ...
• The LaGrange Point
  
  Most of this is beautifully written. You contradict the clicheed assumption that ...
• The Duel
  
  This is a good idea, and its presentation is well-organised, but it is let diown ...
• Strip Teased
  
  Plot: OK, now you are introducing another pair of characters. This is not such a ...
• Moving to China Without You
  
  General: I think this is an excellent portrayal of a really evil bitch - and you ...
• Why Does Everyone Keep Shooting Me?
  
  Good edit - that works a lot better.
• Disappointment
  
  This is much the better of your two! The complete story is encapsulated here.
• For Gavin. -Never forgotten.
  
  What a beautiful memorial!
• Abuser, Good-bye
  
  Intriguing and original, but I have to assume that this is another one of those ...
• Nuclear Option
  
  Plot: I really like the originaiity and ingenuity of this story.  I just have ...
• Footwear Royale
  
  General: When are you going to post more of this?! This is tantalising.  Structu ...
• Love Under the Threat of Nuclear War
  
  I'm sure I've seen you post this excerpt in a previous challenge!?
• Something Somewhere
  
  General: This doesn't really meet the terms of the challenge, as I can't see an ...
• Left Alone
  
  I'm guessing that this is part of a larger work that you are writing - it works ...
• A Black Memory.
  
  General: And a Black Country memory, I think? :-)  Plot: You have fulfilled the ...
• The Death of Stone
  
  Thank you for explaining:  I suggested marble because it can be black, and so ...
• Fidelis
  
  Plot: Is the ship named as a reference to keeping faith with Marcellus?  This is ...
• 'Series' Liar
  
  I enjoyed this.  And I have to say it was a cunning idea to use such s strong di ...
• Remembering Cynthia
  
  This is beautiful, elegaic.  I like the way you set up an expectation of a remin ...
• Dorchadas
  
  General: Hmm.   Plot: I like the fact that you are using a different mythos (Iri ...
• Tail Spin
  
  A textbook example of bathos - classic!
• The Tired and Unlikely Post-Apocalyptic Hero
  
  I like the way you have chosen to write about an ex-hero, rather than a wannabe. ...
• The Character Creation Challenge
  
  An interesting character. I'm puzzled by the last entry though; if he believes d ...
• Christopher Hartman (Craig Wiles)
  
  It's pretty good as it is! It's strong, it's forceful, and you get a clear sense ...
• In Awe of Paul Revere - 1775
  
  Just a brief comment: I disagree totally with wayahowl about the language of dat ...
• The Tenth Legion
  
  A new one, I think, Leo1?  I like this very much; of all your endings, this give ...
• Hatred.
  
  This summarises your ending, but gives very little sense of what has happened be ...
• Destiny - book I
  
  I confess I don't always like your pieces,scleme; but when you do hit the nail o ...
• Poison In My Soul - concluding, but not ending.
  
  sigmundsquirrel and I seemed doomed to bicker!   I preferred the shift from the ...
• Too good for Baby Infants
  
  General: A lovely portrayal of the cockiness of a small child!    Plot: This ope ...
• On your shoulder
  
  This fairly ordinary image was really brought alive by the final pair of lines - ...
• Nobody's Darling
  
  General: You have done a pretty good job here of packin a lot of information int ...
• Stella
  
  Character Development: As described, Stella may or may not have unusual abilitie ...
• Mourning
  
  I loved this update on the clock for time metaphor.   It was a little clumsy in ...
• Footwear Royale
  
  Very intriguing. I like the marriage of mythic tropes with contemporary relation ...
• Real Men Finish What They Start: The Story of Josh Eric Waters
  
  This is not a genre I would normally read - I'm not a teen and I'm not an Americ ...
• Tempting Virtue
  
  General: Your story sounds interesting, but some of your phraseology is very pec ...
• To Kill a Moose (draft 2)
  
  You have given us the opening setting here, without giving the reader any clear ...
• Scene 1
  
  Execution: I like the way you have conveyed so much information about Chris & Ka ...