John_Brown's Compliments

Compliments:  34

Last Compliment: 11/3/2010

In-depth (34)

Submission Reviews

  • Minimalist sunset, a haiku
    Hi BeingBing  I confess to being ignorant about the intricacies of haiku, but I ...
  • Halloween Competition
    Hi TT  Suggestion: Of all the houses, his dilapidated house perching grimly on t ...
  • Stay With Me
    Suggested opening sentence: Being eight and all grown up, Johnny had finally got ...
  • The Ringmaster's Revenge
    This is good, but you are telling rather than showing, as in "Suddenly the ringm ...
  • Halloween Competition
    Hi TT  Nice anecdotal story, which I'm sure you'll whittle down to size, but whe ...
  • One Last Halloween
    I really like your ending and also the description of your opening paragraph. As ...
  • Pumpkin collector
    Hi Sammie  Love the blood. Hmm. It seems to be a recurring theme... Jokes apart, ...
  • Captain R. Hodds
    Further to BZAlixandre's comment about 'we' I disagree. Given that in certain pa ...
  • The suitcase
    Hi  I think it highly unlikely Ronald would grin at the suitcase when he got so ...
  • The Best Ferret
    Hi Its a nice enough story, but you have no communication in it whatsoever. The ...
  • Peanuts and Cracker Jack
    Hi Nice take on the competition. I don't know whether you're actually two words ...
  • It's Only A Game
    Hi  This is good. I would prefer stared into Rafael's eyes, but it is a nitpick. ...
  • The Girl in the Library
    Hi  I understand this is an extract from a larger published work. It is good, no ...
  • A Taste of Yesterday
    Hi Amanda 7  I like it much more now, it's good. I would say 'I move from one me ...
  • Corpse bride: Medusa weds Pandora
    Hi Adrishya  You certainly have a lyrical way about your writing, no bad thing. ...
  • Fertile Fields of Possibilities
    Hi What I understand clod to mean is:  either a compact mass of earth or an awkw ...
  • Day Out.
    Hi  In general its good, the idea certainly is, but I must be thick, because I d ...
  • The Desert's Slap
    Hi SephenAtheem and welcome.  I'm going to preface this by saying that I rarely ...
  • Midnight Swim
    Aha! As my heritage is Mauritian. I almost, but not quite, feel qualified to com ...
  • Down the Rabbit Hole
    A really good and creative attempt. I do have some suggested changes though.  Fi ...
  • Camping?
    Hi Stuart  Once again it's well written. The final denouement is great, but I re ...
  • iCheat
    Hi Stuart It's good. A few suggested changes though. I'd drop the just in your f ...
  • The Betrayal
    Hi Shana made a lot of sense when she said eliminate 'he felt'. Always show, nev ...
  • The Time is  Now
    Strong opening sentence, weaker second How about Jill was escaping her circumsta ...
  • Dear John Senior
    Novel idea, although Oedipus got there before you. Tragic in its final realizati ...
  • Pick Up Your Mother
    Hi It's good of course, but I have a slight problem with the third paragraph, sp ...
  • NO I AM NOT SORRY NORMAN BELL
    Not great as it stands. I'll get down to specifics.  Your writing is confused as ...
  • Prologue
    Hi CharlaineJ. I've read it and its okay, but it needs reworking and tidying. Fo ...
  • The Call of a Pink Bootie
    Hi in essence I agree with William_Stone's suggestions. I think your story would ...
  • A Rock was Merely a Rock
    Hi it's good. Here are a few suggestions though. You use rock at least one too m ...
  • Trust The Weed
    I don't know who I prefer, the self righteous tittle tattle or the stoned dope f ...
  • It was February, once.
    Well written, very evocative but I would have your first sentence reading, " I r ...
  • Finders Keepers
    I don't know who gave you one star. I gave you four. Apart from the incongruity ...
  • The Broken System
    Same general comment. You switch voices after the first sentence. Apart from tha ...