RJ_Urquhart's Compliments

Compliments:  177

Last Compliment: 12/19/2017

Helpful (177)

Submission Reviews

  • Twelve Soldiers Singing
    There's some lovely wordcraft in this. I thought at first George was going to tu ...
  • Group Therapy
    Chris, I also thought the reveal at the end would be that they were vampires - i ...
  • Time's Justice
    Do you know, I was just thinking this morning how much I missed your writing and ...
  • The Raiders
    A good tale of rape, loot and pillage (if that's not a contradicton in terms). ...
  • Playing House
    Hi Chris,  this is a sad tale. I'm not sure, though, that it meets the terms of ...
  • Knock on Wood
    A nice mystery and a pretty idea. It held my attention. Though I wasn't convince ...
  • The birth
    Okay, I'm seeing scatterings of symbolism, like a line of breadcrumbs - Original ...
  • Day Seven
    This feels like and excerpt from a longer story. It’s a fully-developed, but onl ...
  • The Curse Weaver
    Well written, as your work always is, though there's a couple of infelicities wh ...
  • Spring’s Golden Rules
    This is very funny. I loved it.  There's a few slight slips of English:  Despite ...
  • Mohammad Husayn's Sufferings
    It's been done before (the Almighty and the Nameless One on a ghetto stoop sparr ...
  • Where goest the soul?
    This is a clever idea. I would have liked to have seen more emotion, more anger ...
  • The Hitler of Happiness
    You don't lack courage, Chris, in tackling controversial subjects! Having done s ...
  • Don't say it
    A story (normally) needs a beginning a middle and an end. And characters need mo ...
  • Missing
    The story held together until this point: "Angus Collins is an overwhelmingly po ...
  • Christmas Eve with Grampa
    I think the trick to doing paranormal stories is to take the one element of what ...
  • Carol's Swansong
    Very Masefield  Dirty British coaster with a salt caked smokestack Butting throu ...
  • A Grim Christmas
    A pretty idea, the bureaucracy of reaping. I liked it.  One slight catch  She’d ...
  • Ghosts of Christmas Past
    A nice inversion - Christmas as a blood feud.  I can help you, at least a bit, w ...
  • Carroll at Christmas (or Take That Charles Lutwidge)
    Wow! I thought you Aussies must live for a long time.I decided he must have been ...
  • The Christmas Tree Cutting
    I think the ecumenical thrust might be stronger if you didn't call them Christma ...
  • My Colorful Life
    Synaesthesia is a fascinating phenomenon, you're right. I'm not sure it counts a ...
  • Chapter Twenty Three
    At last. The fight scene I wanted. There are points where you’re narrating (tell ...
  • Chapter Twenty Two
    okay, it doesn't have to be a fight, but you need to motivate clearly why the Li ...
  • Chapter Twenty Two
    There are some great reveals in this chapter, and some great dialogue, but I thi ...
  • Chapter Fifteen
    This is a pretty crucial chapter, with the reveal of her real nature. I wasn't w ...
  • Paint the Tiger Purple
    I loved this exploration of an imaginative premise. Very creative.  A couple of ...
  • Wardrobe Shaped Boxes
    Wonderful as always Sue. Your stories are beginning to take you to places your n ...
  • Anger Redirected
    Powerful writing on a powerful theme.  I'm not clear why you use the description ...
  • Chapter 1
    The start of a quest. Into dangerous badlands. A good start.  The trouble is sin ...
  • Prologue
    This is a big improvement over the previous prologue. It has a story, and it has ...
  • Confession of a Victim of Rape
    You can write Philippa. That's the most important thing about this.  But the plo ...
  • Son
    I agree with Keberly. The past lives thing is doing no work in this story. It's ...
  • I'm Not Crazy
    A cute idea, well told.  A few niggles He'd received the call at 8:13 that morni ...
  • A Yarn of Confessions - Revised Aug 20
    The opening about the challenge isn't echoed in the closing. You could bring the ...
  • Confession of a Teenaged Grog-Slinger
    I'm a Brit and I've never heard the word grog, so it must be a Yorkshire thing. ...
  • Step 0
    Confession. Tick Problem. Tick. Sympathetic character. Tick Development. No Surp ...
  • The Truth
    The idea is great. A heroic story that the hero confesses is a lie. That's a win ...
  • Let Me Count the Ways
    This is sweet. We've all been there. The dialogue is effective. But there are no ...
  • Case Closed!
    Great atmospherics and character. I'm not sure I quite got the ending though
  • Keeping Up With the Joneses
    But she's a Lifelight, right? In a single bound she was free, right? This is so ...

  • huh?   This seems to be an unedited and partial draft of something you're workin ...
  • Keeping Up With the Joneses
    Wow! Telepathy, international intrigue, internet dating (there had to be romance ...
  • Nuisances
    I was really curious to see what you came up with and it didn't disappoint, The ...
  • Great Expectations
    I was troubled, in this era of revelations of child abuse by the Church, that th ...
  • Visiting hours are over.
    I read it. It's atmospheric, and very action-oriented, so it fits the challenge ...
  • Soldiers of Destiny
    Yeah, what Alina said. That expresses my response to it too. You've got time to ...
  • Never Look Back
    This is heart-wrenchingly nasty. I couldn't help but feel the characters were a ...
  • Straight Out of Hell
    It's well written, but there were no surprises. It starts as a couple of kids pl ...
  • I Am My Father's Daughter (Revised)
    My feelings about this are like those of others. I loved the idea - it came as a ...
  • It's a Sin To Kill
    Like others, I found myself confused by all the different characters. I lost tra ...
  • Portrait of a Lady
    Nicely told, though perhaps the ending was a tad predictable?  A couple of nitpi ...
  • A Listless Carol
    It's been done before. It's nicely written,and sweet, but there's no surprise, o ...
  • Drink with the guys
    Just as well we have pretty good evidence that God has a sense of humour, Chris. ...
  • To Have and to Hold
    This is tautly written. You kind of knew he was going to kill her, but even so i ...
  • Monster (Revised)
    Yup, that fits the challenge. I like the idea a lot, of showing us the "before" ...
  • The Love of a Mother
    I really like the idea of love as the source of "wickedness", and the way you ex ...
  • Bang
    Okay, so as I read this, you're saying Roger is suffering PTSD which means he's ...
  • The Heart of Time
    The atmosphere is beautifully created. As Alec says, it feels like something ext ...
  • The Gods Must Be Angry
    I liked the story idea, and the satire on religious certainty. It held my attent ...
  • The Moment that Never Happened
    This has your usual quiet humour. Tick there, that works It has your frequent za ...
  • Eternity
    If I understand this right, the MC is a soldier in some kind of space craft comi ...
  • Man's Best Friend
    I waited until you'd rewritten this. As others have commented already it needs a ...
  • Quitter
    I loved the idea of a quitting addiction. It made me laugh. I wondered whether w ...
  • Taking After My Old Man (Revised)
    This has the ring of authentic testimony.  Just one typo I spotted. There are al ...
  • Perfection
    A neat moral tale about a workaholic, well written. I liked the description of w ...
  • Just One More Time
    Good writing Ken, particularly now the "drug his eyes" has gone, but I have to a ...
  • I Am A Living Hermit
    Love as addiction. Or addiction as love. I like that. I think there's a core of ...
  • Long Winter's Night
    I quite like the complete irrelevance to this story of the superpowers. Though o ...
  • Two Festivals
    Actually Lanette, in the UK we've imported Black Friday over the last two years, ...
  • Chapter Two
    This has undertones of your November challenge entry. I see this village and the ...
  • Heart of a Hustler
    There is some great writing here. Particularly memorable is "I turn down a fores ...
  • Boots of Spanish Leather
    This is really sweet. I love the device of the letters. It's simple, but it held ...
  • The Cateyville Baptist Church Brawl
    A pleasing comedy of errors, in the whimsical style I recognize as yours, but wi ...
  • If I kiss you where it's sore
    You've chosen a really challenging theme, that takes us to a world that most of ...
  • x
    This was a very challenging technical exercise you set yourself to weave the lyr ...
  • Gimme Shelter
    Wow! The standard of the entries I've read so far has been extraordinarily high, ...
  • The Party
    I read this a couple of times and I'm still not sure I understand the ending. I ...
  • Chapter Eleven
    Brilliant, including an abduction from a locked room (you might not want to give ...
  • Snow White and Dunkel
    The Brothers Grimm meet Christopher Marlowe!   A few mistakes I noticed. There a ...
  • Hansel and Gretel
    A good surprise ending. I didn't see that coming. It reminds me a little of the ...
  • Chapter Nine
    This is a great chapter, even though it's all dialogue. It gets us into the hear ...
  • Chapter Eight
    This is just a linking chapter, preparing us for revelations to come. I think it ...
  • The Butchers Son
    This is wonderfully dark, with just the right air of moral smugness. I love it ...
  • The Tower
    A lovely reversal of the tale. Well done  I found some errrors.  her hair surrou ...
  • The Truth
    I like a good world-building. I liked the idea of this very much, stitching all ...
  • The Brother and Sister
    Yup, this is darker, from fairy tale romance to utter horror. I really liked the ...
  • Chapter 11:  Left Behind
    I like the shift of POV to Iccarus.And at last we get some picture of how this r ...
  • The Power Behind the Throne
    A ribald romp. And, I believe yours is the first entry so far to have no death a ...
  • Mandy's Home time ( why it matters.) Revised cheers
    You've made some changes but there are a lot of typos, spelling mistakes and for ...
  • The Door Of Possibilities
    Goodness fails to triumph! Yup that meets the terms of the challenge. And of cou ...
  • Looked Down From a Broken Sky
    A well evoked cityscape in the rain, and mysterious too. The atmosphere is good, ...
  • Hoodie (revised 09/29/14)
    Wierd, zany, and entertaining. It could do with some editing for typos and infel ...
  • Chapter 5:  Debark
    I see a rite of passage building. This belongs at this point in the story, thoug ...
  • The Apple (Draft 2)
    I liked the style, and the use of the present tense, which adds immediacy. The e ...
  • Grey
    There is some great writing here, and an acute and philosophical observation. I ...
  • Chapter 2:  The Jolly Roger
    I get now what bothered me in Chapter 1. If this is a teen fantasy, Chapter 1 sh ...
  • Chapter 1:  The Blue Eyed Devil
    It's a great hook, having your character about to be hanged. You might say that ...
  • Ash and Rain
    A great piece of teen fantasy, complete with school cheerleaders and soda founta ...
  • Chapter Seven
    I can't find much to correct in this chapter. The main thing is that I'm not cle ...
  • Darkness falls
    I'm not sure I have any specific suggestions, but the narrative is thin. A man i ...
  • The Assassination
    This is a Western, of the revenge variant, with steampunk trappings. I loved the ...
  • Alvin and Harrison (Draft 4 Version 2)
    This is certainly steampunk. There's a glitch in the website that makes it over- ...
  • The Troublemaking Scheme of the Mad Ruffian Professor Rhamsbottom!
    I don't really understand what happened either  One catch  My grandfather’s gran ...
  • Adulthood is Overrated
    The two women didn't pay any attention to the disturbance they were causing unti ...
  • The World Without Cats
    I like the idea, It does not a bit more work though to develop the absurdity. I' ...
  • The price of freedom is being free
    An intelligent and thought-provoking piece. And interesting that you decided, as ...
  • Little Girl Lost
    This is a really fine piece of writing. Yeah, ok there's still sound in it, but ...
  • Practicing Pretend
    Just amazing! Vile of course, and yet a testimony to the strength and resilience ...
  • Under the rainbow
    The problem with this challenge, as I've noted in comments to others, is that it ...
  • The Joke
    The extended set-up for this punchline (Pooh, Bear etc) is perhaps a little cont ...
  • Convergence
    The story is easier now, but also less atmospheric, for the introduction of Doct ...
  • A Painter's Plight
    I loved the idea behind this story, a sort of negative Portrait of Dorian Grey. ...
  • The Needed
    Well written and a good surprise ending.   The only minor mistake I noticed was ...
  • The Bipartisanship of Doorways
    Oh, I meant to say, does he have to be called Carnage? I deferred commenting to ...
  • The Door
    Don't go into the light! We all seem to have opted for something mysterious and ...
  • Chapter Six
    Great drama. Is Lucy after all going to turn out to be more than she or we think ...
  • Blood for a Stone
    Hubris and nemesis. The classic elements of Greek tragedy transmuted to comedy. ...
  • Chapter Four
    The men in suits are back albeit invisibly in the other cabins, and that's good. ...
  • Chapter Three
    Yup. This is where all the content from chapter 2 has gone. This is great. It ha ...
  • Chapter Two
    Starting the chapter with 5 paragraphs of solid backstory doesn't work. It kills ...
  • You Can't Polish a Turd.
    Very funny. Deft comic writing and a nice twist in the tail that I wasn't expect ...
  • Statistical Probability
    A great story, nicely evoking gentlemanly disbelief in disorder  Only two quibbl ...
  • N/A
    So beautifully written thathe biscuit and the balderdash slipped past without t ...
  • Mildred's Earrings
    A sweet and mischievous tale. Just a couple of grammatical errors  Arley swept i ...
  • 3AM
    Nicely atmospheric. In addition to Duncan's point, there is perhaps an overempha ...
  • Staged Beauty: Hamlet's Ophelia
    This has great intimacy and atmosphere. The use ofthe keywords is effortless and ...
  • The perfect Tardis and a Silver Dalek
    A moral tale, with a tiny hint of the darkness of your submission last month. Th ...
  • Asha
    The changes make for an easier read. A couple of niggles I found on this read th ...
  • Asha
    This is a full romance in the proper sense of the word. In other words, it says, ...
  • The Painter Boy
    Magically evocative of love, decay, loss and renewal. The writing held me.  I wo ...
  • The Engagement
    I think Cindi is right. The ending is too abrupt. I read it twice in case I was ...
  • Grievance
    A simple tale of threat and recovery, that works because the writing is strong. ...
  • N/A
    Fair points. I submit to your historical research.  I completely misread your se ...
  • The Hardest Task
    Nicely atmospheric with lovely bathos in the sting in the tail.  Just three nigg ...
  • Love In The Snow
    The stories for this month's challenge have to be exactly 28 sentences. So you n ...
  • The Many Virtues of Water; or The Treachery of Mothers-in-Law
    A cracking tale. I love the steamship with its levers and hisses. It's a beautif ...
  • It's What's on the Inside That Counts
    I'm going to judge this as an essay not a story. The "what's on the inside" argu ...
  • Last Words.
    A nice story, capturing the clandestinity of Christianity in Imperial row in a v ...
  • Rahab
    A good tale, which held my interest from start to finish. Like Duncan, I found t ...
  • Hushabye Mountain
    This is dark and powerful. I didn't enjoy it, but I liked the writing  Just one ...
  • Becoming Myself
    This is a great story, full of pathos and courage. We will it to get to the conc ...
  • Crazy
    It's a bleak tale. Calling the couple the Bleaks is over-egging the hemlock. I w ...
  • Between the first breath and the last
    I have to agree with Eddie. The writing was exquisite, and the the structure nea ...
  • Daughter's Special Day
    A nice character portrait of an adolescent demon. I'm not quite sure it fits the ...
  • For War
    Oops, I forgot to add the correction I noticed  George said they wieghed him>>>> ...
  • Mother (Revised)
    I think this is much tighter now. Great editing
  • Soldier
    This is well structured. I liked the reveal that the combat action was just a ga ...
  • The Magic Of The Stage
    A sweet tale, marred only by the too frequent repetition of "boy"
  • Mother (Revised)
    This is really horrid. Unredeemedly scary. Horror isn't my favourite genre, but ...
  • Burn, baby, burn (revised Jan 17)
    I love classic science fiction. I was brought up with it. This is a story in tha ...
  • The Lazarus Effect
    I'm somewhere between Lanette and DJ. I understood that Mark had been resurrecte ...
  • X-mas Eve
    A classical Gothic horror tale, with a well-evoked atmosphere of darkness and de ...
  • Joulupukki
    I like the world you've created here. It's well evoked and believable in its own ...
  • One born every minute
    I liked the twist on the conventional themes. It worked well, though structurall ...
  • Secrets of The Throne
    Darkly atmospheric. I enjoyed the portrayal of knowingness and powerlessness in ...
  • The Sumerian
    The idea of the story appeals to me, but it could do with a lot more polishing. ...
  • The Gold Mark
    This is very sweet. I got a clear sense of Neeraj's character, and the way you i ...
  • The Forge of Two Kings
    General: This is well written, and I can to a degree feel the characters, but it ...
  • In which Solomon Fierce receives an offer he can't refuse
    I'm always a sucker for standing genres on their heads. I really liked the Raymo ...
  • Chapter Twenty Five
    Yes, that rewording would be much better
  • Chapter Twenty Five
    General: This is great. There's pretty much nothing I can find to correct in it. ...
  • Chapter 1
    you can revise  it. There's an edit button at the top of the chapter on your ver ...
  • Chapter 1
    General: I’m no reader of chick-lit but this seems to me to have the right light ...
  • Dark of night
    I like the way this progresses from thriller to horror and then the final twist ...
  • Witches Brew
    So many entries have turned the horror theme on its head and made them love stor ...
  • Chapter Twenty Three
    This chapter seems less polished than the others, more first draft. The ideas ar ...
  • Chapter Twenty Two
    General: Magnificent. Congratulations on the bravery to kill off two of your mai ...
  • Chapter Twenty One
    General: This is brilliant. I loved the description of Liana’s sensations. You e ...
  • Chapter Eighteen
    General: Action galore! And the mystery is intensifying even as it begins to unr ...
  • Chapter Seven
    General: Great building of the tension and the story  A couple of niggles  ‘Two ...
  • First Kiss
    This has a haunting beauty, strengthened by the references to other stories told ...
  • First Kiss
    It's always effective to turn a cliche on its head. Nicely done. I'm not sure it ...
  • Chapter Four
    General: This chapter is slower. It might be a good place to introduce some more ...
  • Chapter Three
    General: Good change of pace from the drama of the previous chapter, until you n ...
  • Chapter Two
    General: Good pace again, with the introduction of the bond partner idea and the ...
  • Chapter One
    General: Beautifully constructed and paced. Not having read any of the earlier L ...