Moriarity Strikes Again
Hi - thanks for sharing. Change infactuation to infatuation. Some words are repe ...
Love, Lust, and Padded Bras
A well-done vignette! It pulled me out a bit when the POVs changed, but then I r ...
Space Robot Five
I like the subtle romance and the techno language. My hat's off to you for allow ...
You've got a winning concept here, one that was lightly dealth with in Tron: Leg ...
Through the use of non-specific personal pronouns and the name "Sean" which coul ...
The Long Yesterday (Revised)
Tight writing with nothing wasted. I would have liked to see what happened after ...
Hi, I felt I knew the characters in this short story. Even the brief introductio ...
Beginning of things to come?
After reading chp 1, I wanted to read chp 2 right away and see what happens. ...
Out of Control - edgy YA
Good writing. You've laid out a teaser of a plot, starting with the news report ...
Demons among other things (an untitled work)
Plot: Without knowing the hook or summary, I can't address. CD - Patrick is be ...
Being Bompsy Carleffa - First Page
Your writing is good. The plot has potential. Character Development: these ...
Very snappy. I think "either" is an adjective. Love the action verbs!