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WEbook's superstore for talking shop: colons vs. semicolons; dialogue format; point of view.  And everything in between.
Posted: 11/10/2013 7:19 PM PST

Many errors--  sigh. 
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Posted: 11/10/2013 7:18 PM PST

Woops. Should have proof read this prior to posting. (Blush) 


and I'm sure there are many more errors, but you get the general idea, I hope. 

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Posted: 11/10/2013 7:12 PM PST

Problem:  I'm having a problem forming sentences that very in length and structure. Even my longer sentences use a similar structure with just a conjunction separating the clauses. 

Example:  The air is thin and frigid, and my eyes water immediately with its cold intrusion. I shiver, and quicken my pace to a slight jog. My breath disperses in soft white clouds, while my boots crush through packed snow. The weather in Massachusetts has been surprisingly cold for October. Nearly two weeks ago it had begun snowing, and it hasn't stopped since.

The rhythm is choppy, and* it pulls the reader from the scene. Sadly, I'm unsure of how to correct this problem because I'm not sure how to use transitional expressions in place of conjunctions. 

Question:  Is there a way to break myself of this habit? I'd like to have longer, stronger worded clauses that flow, but I'm unsure of how to do this. 

Any books suggestions, websites or advice would be great. 

Thank you,

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