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WEbook Forums > WEbook Projects > Give to Get: The Official Feedback Swap > Would love some feedback on my short story
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Posted: 1/17/2017 3:05 AM PST
Hi,
If you're looking to get some feedback on short stories, take a look at the monthly challenge; a new short story to write every month and people there who will give their opinions on how you could improve it, if it needs it, or praise you to Heaven and back if it's good.

Just a thought but it may prove helpful and it teaches the discipline to writing to a brief.
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Posted: 1/16/2017 2:12 AM PST

Hi, Alex here. Im a Young writer from norway trying to get some feedback since im trying to Write short stories.

It was a cold winter, Colder than most in fact. He lived north where the sun barely got up before setting in the sea again. He didn't struggle with money nor with any illness. But in his mind  there was nothing but darkness. His eyes clouded and his will wavering at the thought of going on any longer. He sat up late at night listening to melancholic music. Scared. Scared of not waking up tomorrow, scared. Scared there won't be any tomorrow. So he drowned himself in the music trying to stay awake as long as possible. It was almost morning before he finally fell aslepp.
He woke up a couple of hours later and there he sat once again. In an existence without purpose, without reason. A hopeless man clinging on what used to seem like hope. A twisted and gloomy mutasjon from what used to be a happy life. Doubting his every move and every thought. Regretting everything and never letting anything go. The pills on the shelf were getting tempting once more. In his eyes it was the door to the past. A gate back to a life he couldn't never have. A painkiller for all the remorse and twisted memories he carried with him everywhere. He dreamt away to a better place as he took up his pencil and started writing. With a million thoughts in his head he wrote down some simple words before threw away the paper because it was soaked in tears. How ironic that the memories that haunt would be the one to stop him.. His tears turned into sweat as he started to panic, he didn't want to die, yet the pills were looking brighter than ever. With tears and sweat running down his face he grabbed the pills and stared into the abyss. In a blink all his panic and fears went away. He knew this was the right thing. He took one last look at his former life before making his decision.
In the morning all that was left was three letters. Three letters and a empty hole in his family heart.

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