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Can someone just look over this paragraph and let me know if this is ok?
" There was a storm. Through the thick rain was a small car. Inside the car was a young woman with thick eyebrows and a baby in the backseat. Thunder shook the ground and she could barely see the road ahead. She saw the baby in the mirror. A little girl in the back seat, staring up at the window. Her eyes followed a rain drop as it slid down the window. It became heavier and collided with other drops and then fell past the window. She wondered where it went. The world was small for this little girl. All she knew was the car and the rain. She had no idea how large the storm around her was. The woman driving, a social worker, set her eyes back on the road. "