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Posted: 1/6/2014 7:41 AM PST
Actually, your prologue is kinda good for. like, tough speeches. It`s very powerful and a little bit Paulo Coelho (I`m reading the Alchemist so every pep talk sounds like Paulo Coelho at this point) there`s this very, very thin line, though. It`s very thin and apparently transparent that other writers seem to not see. Like, for instance, a writer uses and defines big words that they think might impress the readers, but a reader tends to think, "Bleh, this is boring. Imma skip it till the next exciting thing turns up between the pages." No. You`ll want to hook them at the very first line and never let them go till the very end. I would read it, since I`m into this stuff. But I`m telling you, other people won`t. So I guess you should use a more appealing way to introduce your book. The kind of introduction that makes readers burn the midnight oil and have raccoon eyes just to get to the very last page and understand why you hooked them from the beginning.

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Posted: 12/15/2013 7:41 AM PST
The following is the prologue of my book, it is very short, but I wanna know if any of you would read on?

Prologue: A new age.
"This is the dawn of the new age. An age where things are changing more than before, in this age power is much more sought after, more than wealth, love, or good health. People are realizing that being a royal doesn't give you power, just a title. Influence is what gains you power, influence is something to be worked for, there for, it’s now the most ambitious that have it. And ambitious people are usually the ones with the worst morals, and principles. Most ambitious people are selfish, rather than selfless, but not always. That’s where you come in. You see, you are like a flower amongst a field of weeds, and air is like influence, they try and suffocate you from it. They already think they have, but you will come back, and you will come back fighting, and you will beat them all, and we will be there to help you every step of the way”, said the plump old man as he raised his arm and pointed over the balcony at the harbour, where around 250 large ships were being boarded, “All those ships are now yours, and the 40,000 men along with it. Now take back what is yours”.
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