This will flag comments for moderators to take action.
To my Parents,
I am tired. I am tired of my daily routine. I am tired of having fifteen hours of class a week with the expectation to put in three more hours at home for every one in class. I am tired of sixty hour school weeks. I am tired of old men and old women telling me how the world works. The most important lessons I have learned from my elders was when they were simply telling me stories. I am tired of not making enough money. I am tired of having to overdraw my account each month to pay rent. I am tired of always having to play catch-up, and never getting ahead. I am tired of working full time at one job, and part time at another, and still not having enough. I am tired of worrying if I can even afford to feed myself. I am tired of cheap pancakes, and ramen. I'm tired of thinking. I am tired of worrying. I am tired of not being happy.
You have taught me a lot. I am sure with out you evening knowing. I can still remember the day when my father told me about his "only regret in life". I can't remember why it came up. I can't remember anything said afterwards, but I remember him saying that his only regret in life was not joining the military. I will not regret this.
I will enlist. I will join the Air Force before years end. I will become a Pararescueman. I recently heard a quote that has stuck strongly with me, "Don't let school get in the way of your education." So I will learn, regardless of school. I will learn to be a rescue diver. I will learn to be a paramedic. I will learn combat skills. I will learn survival skills. I will learn discipline. I learn to help others, the ones that need it most. I will learn to be a Pararescueman. Then, I will finish the Computer Science degree that I started. I will learn it one class at a time, at my own pace. With my remaining will upon completion, I will learn to fly, maybe right to space. It's commonly said that we should "shoot for the stars", so that's exactly what I am going to do. If I fail, I will walk away proud knowing that I tried. Knowing that I did things the way I wanted. Knowing that I did it the best way I saw how. Knowing that I did not pick the easiest path, but my path.
I'm sorry for only one reason. I am sorry I couldn't tell you. I am sorry that when you knew I was struggling and offered a hand, I did not tell you I needed help. I am sorry I did not tell you when I made these decisions myself. I am sorry I did not tell you, when I knew you would support me. I am sorry I did not tell you. Opening myself up and letting people, letting my parents, know that I was not perfect, that I was struggling, is still so hard for me. I have wanted to tell you in person like a man should for to long, but when I saw you I felt disappointed in myself. I know what I have said may not seem like the best idea, or the path you imagined me taking. It wasn't the one I imagined at first either, yet the longer I think about it, the more set in stone it becomes. It has been eight months since my first contact with a recruiter. My plan is set, and I no longer feel disappointed in myself. I feel excited and proud. When I have told strangers whom I know I will never see again, they thank me. They are excited for me, as I now know you will be.
I have a four month training guide prior to enlistment. This will run from now until my lease here in ________ ends in August. Then I will officially enlist, and be sent to Texas to start my real training. I know it will be hard, but it has been hard, and now I see and feel something truly worth pursuing.