Book Info
-
Project Leader:
jaynebonilla
-
Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only (Closed) -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Short Story
Children's -
Language:
English
book_central
SHIRT FOR DESSERT
Shirt for Dessert, one of WEbook's inaugural vote winners, is available for pre-order! Take a peek at the following link to see a sample of the finished book.
http://www.webook.com/landing/shirtfordessert
http://www.webook.com/landing/shirtfordessert
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I loved reading this.I used to suck clothes too.Great that you're published now :)
It is extremely awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hallo Jayne
your story is charming and gives humour to a thorny problem.
please take a look at the illustration I created inspired by your lovely theme.
kindest regards
karenruth
your story is charming and gives humour to a thorny problem.
please take a look at the illustration I created inspired by your lovely theme.
kindest regards
karenruth
I can't seem to submit my illustration in the way suggested so heres the URL(s)!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3137/2923010888_08fa9857c2_b.jpg
and
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3176/2922158017_47156778cf_b.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3137/2923010888_08fa9857c2_b.jpg
and
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3176/2922158017_47156778cf_b.jpg
An excellent, creative and fun way to get kids to eat healthy.
Perhaps t-shirts with little veggie people colored all over the shirt by children would be a good illustration.
Perhaps t-shirts with little veggie people colored all over the shirt by children would be a good illustration.
If you're interested in submitting illustrations, go here: http://www.webook.com/project/Illustration-Competition-Shirt-for-Dessert . You'll want to read the guide to uploading images to your WEbook submissions in the FAQ first: http://www.webook.com/faq#multimedia
Good luck!
Good luck!
I'm interested in submitting illustrations. How does one go about doing so?
dizit
dizit
I have long realized that words with "r's" in them are funny- like grovel and cherub. Got a real chortle out of your title. Never forget Bugs Bunny's "ultra maroon." Pete Faber
You can always use a food she doesnt like and actully smear her clothes in it.Let him or her stay in the outfit for half a day.Do this every day for a week and just maybe the little darling wont chew on her/his clothes anymore
You go, girl!
Well done! I'm delighted that this book has been selected. It's a W-I-N-N-E-R!
nancy
Well done! I'm delighted that this book has been selected. It's a W-I-N-N-E-R!
nancy
When I read this I could see all the creative words run through my mind like a movie. I love how you took the not so yummy vegetables and put it on the shirt. I also liked how the mother was telling the story and at the end you here the kid say it for dessert great Job Aunt Jayne
I love this until the last paragraph. Why would Marley like eating vegetables when the vegetables caused her to stop eating and chewing on her clothes? This seems to be a forced rationale. I like it more as a story of a mom's problem solving creativity. But that's just me.
Thanks
Thanks
You are most definantly the real deal! Best of luck as I pray your talent will take far.
This is my favorite of your submissions I've read so far. It does need some editing and proofing, but it's funny and engaging, and it flows well. Good work!
This is quick, easy to read, and hilarious. As far as children's books go, I don't think that you can get better. You really understand your genre, and this is excellent!
this was a very good story that would be great for children as well. any way you could have illustrations with it?
One suggestion: the line 'had lost all its taste and lost all its flavor' would flow much better with "had lost all its taste and lost all of its flavor". It would match the preceding sentence in rhythm that way. Otherwise, a completely adorable and wonderful story! Bravo and good luck!
~Britt~
~Britt~
I really like this and I'd love to see it illustrated. My only advice would be to tidy the grammar in the intro paragraph. Good luck!
Dr. Seuss has nothing on Jayne Bonilla! This piece is poetry at its best. Just great for kids of all ages! So cute and witty; a definate winner!!!
Excellent! I agree, the next Dr. Seuss!
I do think that the following lines could use a bit of revision:
Her sweatshirt, her back pack, her gym shorts she’d savor,
had lost all its taste and lost all its flavor. -- consider, "she had savored" and lost all "their" taste and "their" flavor
The pajamas she ate instead of her meal,
no longer were scrumptious. They lost their appeal. -- consider, "she had eaten" and "They had lost"
Her swimsuit that used to be wet from her drool,
now Marley’s bikini gets wet from the pool. -- Consider 'her swimsuit no longer gets wet from her drool,"
This is definitely a WONDERFUL children's story
I do think that the following lines could use a bit of revision:
Her sweatshirt, her back pack, her gym shorts she’d savor,
had lost all its taste and lost all its flavor. -- consider, "she had savored" and lost all "their" taste and "their" flavor
The pajamas she ate instead of her meal,
no longer were scrumptious. They lost their appeal. -- consider, "she had eaten" and "They had lost"
Her swimsuit that used to be wet from her drool,
now Marley’s bikini gets wet from the pool. -- Consider 'her swimsuit no longer gets wet from her drool,"
This is definitely a WONDERFUL children's story
Adorable. Cute. Funny. Easy to read. Perhaps the best author of childrens books since Dr. Seuss. A can't miss.
Fabulous rhyme!
(Just one typo in the last line - 'resonded' should be "responded.")
(Just one typo in the last line - 'resonded' should be "responded.")
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