RANDUM STUFF
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
A good friend will call your parents Mr. and Mrs. But a best friend will call them mom and dad.
A friend has never seen you cry, a best friend had the best shoulder to cry on.
A friend would stand there laughing at you as you make a fool our of yourself, a best friend, would be up there with you.
A friend would let you have all the blankets on a sleepover, a best friend would leave you cold, and warm you up with a hug when you spit in their ear.
A friend offers you their seat, a best friend let's you sit on their lap.
A friend would tell off your stalker for you, a best friend would tell you how to tease them and mess with their minds.
A friend turns down the music when you ask them to, a best friend turns it up instead of down and smiles.
A friend never asks you for anything to eat, a best friend opens the fridge and makes themselves at home.
A friend will leave you behind if that's what the croud is doing, a best friend will always go with you.
A friend borrows your stuff and then gives it back a few days later, but a best friend loses something and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
A friend would knock on your door, but a best friend would walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
A friend you have to tell not to tell anyone, but a best friend already knows not to tell.
A friend would take away your drink when they think you've had enough. A best friend would say, "Bitch drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"
A friend would help you up when you fall, but a best friend would laugh, and then trip you again.
A friend believes you when you say your fine, a best friend will know something is wrong.
Friends say sorry after a long fight, best friends never fight.
Friends get annoyed at you for calling after they have gone to bed. Best friends say, "What took you so long?"
Friends will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. Best friends will knock that person out.
Friends will try to stop you from hurting the substitute you hate, but a best friend would say, "There's a violin case over there."
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump of a bridge, I go get a paddle boat and save your ass
RANDUM THINGS 2 NO
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.
Cute but psycho- things even out.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!
My heart is not a playground
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
Join the dark side. We have cookies!
I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I don't take orders, and I don't deliver death wishes. If you wish to die, kill yourself.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.
Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?
Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS!
There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
I see regular people! Run for your lives!
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
You say physco like it's a bad thing (some people just don't understand)
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
Normal people worry me.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
I think they named oranges before they named carrots. "Hey, what are these?" "They're Orange." "What about these?" "Ah Shit!"
If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!"
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.
Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I intend to live forever... so far so good
Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again
Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight
Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you
You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you
I am not weird... just plotting
I don't obsesse! I think intensely!
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Don't piss me off, I am running out of places to hide bodies!
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?