Media Software Technician / Gonzo Writer.  Criminal.

I'm playing around on this site because I'm addicted to writing.  It helps me with the voices.

So what can I say about... me.  Well, I wrote a book and I'm trying to sell it.  I'm a strange man.  I'm all powerful.  I can dance to the beat of the big brass band.  I'm never wrong.  Correction: Once I thought I was wrong, but it turned out that I wasn't.  So I was wrong about that.  I can speak an ancient dialect of gibberish.  I've been known to walk on all fours.

Once, in 1992, I shed a single tear.  I was cutting into an onion.  I can kick the can, I can rock and roll and I can skip a rock about a mile or so.  I have been known chew the fat.  One day, walking home uphill, in the snow, on the way home from work... I saved a man from dying.  He thanked me with a rare coin.

I am not allowed in two countries.  True story.  The picture you see of me looks like it was edited in Photoshop.  It wasn't.  I actually look like that.  Do you like the paint in my apartment?  I know you do.

I like pie, but wouldn't touch a cake.  I smoke.  I sometimes pretend that I'm pretending.  I can do the humpty dance, the mash potato, and a native American jig that I invented at age 4.  I am rather strong.  On two occasions, to prove a point, I looked to the left suddenly.  I can play the guitar pretty well.  True story.

Some of these things I made up to amuse myself.  True story.  And now, if you will... there is a dolphin begging me to save it's mother.....