The Book of Weird Words

  • Round: Books: Page 1 Challenge

  • Genre:
    Fiction: Fairytales, Folklore & Mythology, Humor/Satire
  • Submitted: December 28, 2014


Status: Elevated to Round 2

  • Want it elevated: 43%
  • Publishing Pro Rating: Under review.
  • 0%


  • 12%


  • 45%


  • 31%


  • 12%


% want it elevated


Page 1 Challenge


Page 1


The alarm on his mobile went off, and Simon flopped an arm out of the side of the bed. His hand probed around the floor to find the buzzing phone and he swiped a finger against it, his eyes still jammed firmly shut.

Three hours sleep. Jet lag. And an another early start. He dozed, before the alarm went off again, and his house mate banged on the wall. Simon banged back, then crawled out of bed and made his way downstairs to shower. The empty bed remained behind him in his sparsely furnished room, spreadsheets and laptop bags scattered about the floor.

After his shower, feeling more awake but still with a foggy, heavy head, Simon made his way back upstairs to get ready for work.

Simon went to get dressed, and opened up the bedroom wardrobe, stacked next to a hastily made ikea desk with a computer and printer on it. 

That's when he noticed the tiny dancing man. On his top half, the tiny character was wearing a battered leather waistcoat and an open collared shirt. Lower down though, he was as naked as the day he was born.

Simon looked down at the miniature man dancing on the top of the printer, his even tinier genitals bobbing about as he jiggled and sang:

"Today's the day I lost me belt
I searched all round the houses
I only wish I'd found it first
Cos now I've lost me trousers"

Simon sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This had been happening more and more.


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