Book Info
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Project Leader:
Hima_Chan
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Romance
Teen -
Language:
English
book_central
A Devils Love
There’s a thing called Anges De Gardien or Guardian Angels. We protect the world from angels’ number one nemesis: Devils. You have to destroy them so they won’t harm others or you. But what happens when you fall in love with one? Do the rules suddenly change?
I, Stella Leman, have to find out the answers when I fall for Night Hunt, a handsome devil that unexpectedly took my breath away. I was taught that devils were liars and cheaters that gamble for others lives. I can tell Night is the ... more »
I, Stella Leman, have to find out the answers when I fall for Night Hunt, a handsome devil that unexpectedly took my breath away. I was taught that devils were liars and cheaters that gamble for others lives. I can tell Night is the ... more »
GIVE FEEDBACK
Wow. I've never read anything like this. Totally original. Two thumbs up.
This Feedback was...
I like the idea, but the execution is slightly lacking. I never became invested in Stella's world, nor did I believe it, for that matter (Heaven Headquarters?).
This Feedback was...
REALLY good =) I think it would be even more brilliant if you shorted the synopsis a bit, and let people find out the plot bey reading. But otherwise, ITS great!!
Love the name Stella too =) Keep going, ts great. There isn't much bad feedback to give.
Read and critique please, I would really appreciate: http://www.webook.com/chapter.aspx?p=3da09d3e553646ae84ccf541e5d2b4e3
Love the name Stella too =) Keep going, ts great. There isn't much bad feedback to give.
Read and critique please, I would really appreciate: http://www.webook.com/chapter.aspx?p=3da09d3e553646ae84ccf541e5d2b4e3
This Feedback was...
I'll give this a read as soon as I get the chance it sounds really interesting. :)
Amber :)
Amber :)
This Feedback was...
Forbidden love, already love it. Definitely will read! ;)
This Feedback was...
Character Development:
i love the name Stella im also using it, its strong
i love the name Stella im also using it, its strong
This Feedback was...
Way to cool. Send me a copy! Forbidden love is so romantic! Swoon!
This Feedback was...
General:
When I first saw the title and description for this, i had to click on it. It seemed like a very intriguing story. I can't say i've never come across the angels and demons love story, but while this may not be the most original story ever, it's not totally cliched. I hoped you would do something twisted with this somewhat familiar plot line.
Plot:
The prologue at the beginning was a great setup. An angel about to kill the demon she loved. However, the description of how she felt when she was around her lover was nothing I haven't read one thousand times, especially the line, "i couldn't stop staring at him. Every little proportion of him looked so deletable that...i knew [his arms] would welcome me back full heartedly." I don't suggesst completely removing this, but maybe amending it. I also suggest that in the prologue, you tell a little bit about what she loves about his PERSONALITY, in order to not make it so twilight-esque. But after reading the prologue, I was hooked. Nice job.
The plot from then on was kind of boring. I found myself skimming, groaning when I found out there were 37 chapters, and fighting the urge to jump to the last one and call it a day. There were some twists to the plot, but not many, and It was a little predictable. I suggest you map out all the plot points, on notecards. It won't hurt. You seemed to know where you were going, but weren't too sure what road to take. Break down the plot. This may seem like a lot of work, but it will only help you in the long run.
Character Development:
Your character development was a little lacking. I found all the characters to be very shallow and one-dimensional. I found no reconizable character traits in Stella, or in any of the characters to be exact. You used these characters as the wooden canoe floating down the river of your plot. (best metaphor I could make up at the morning.) Remember, your characters don't serve you. They serve themselves. You seemed to take the Twilight route, which is to make your characters Mary Sues and Marty Stus. (Perfect characters) and hope that if you describe how good looking they are enough, then your audience will buy it. (As you can see, I'm not a Twilight fan) I highly suggest you give your characters personalitys. Go online and look for a character questionaire. They're all over. Some of these have very hard questions, but if you can answer them, you know your character well, and that's never a bad thing.
I hope I helped you. I would greatly appreciate it if you would read my story. Just click on my name and follow the link. I don't have too many chapters up, but I will write more very shortly. You are a talented writer; all you need is a couple more drafts, a little more in tune with your character, and you will have a great story.
When I first saw the title and description for this, i had to click on it. It seemed like a very intriguing story. I can't say i've never come across the angels and demons love story, but while this may not be the most original story ever, it's not totally cliched. I hoped you would do something twisted with this somewhat familiar plot line.
Plot:
The prologue at the beginning was a great setup. An angel about to kill the demon she loved. However, the description of how she felt when she was around her lover was nothing I haven't read one thousand times, especially the line, "i couldn't stop staring at him. Every little proportion of him looked so deletable that...i knew [his arms] would welcome me back full heartedly." I don't suggesst completely removing this, but maybe amending it. I also suggest that in the prologue, you tell a little bit about what she loves about his PERSONALITY, in order to not make it so twilight-esque. But after reading the prologue, I was hooked. Nice job.
The plot from then on was kind of boring. I found myself skimming, groaning when I found out there were 37 chapters, and fighting the urge to jump to the last one and call it a day. There were some twists to the plot, but not many, and It was a little predictable. I suggest you map out all the plot points, on notecards. It won't hurt. You seemed to know where you were going, but weren't too sure what road to take. Break down the plot. This may seem like a lot of work, but it will only help you in the long run.
Character Development:
Your character development was a little lacking. I found all the characters to be very shallow and one-dimensional. I found no reconizable character traits in Stella, or in any of the characters to be exact. You used these characters as the wooden canoe floating down the river of your plot. (best metaphor I could make up at the morning.) Remember, your characters don't serve you. They serve themselves. You seemed to take the Twilight route, which is to make your characters Mary Sues and Marty Stus. (Perfect characters) and hope that if you describe how good looking they are enough, then your audience will buy it. (As you can see, I'm not a Twilight fan) I highly suggest you give your characters personalitys. Go online and look for a character questionaire. They're all over. Some of these have very hard questions, but if you can answer them, you know your character well, and that's never a bad thing.
I hope I helped you. I would greatly appreciate it if you would read my story. Just click on my name and follow the link. I don't have too many chapters up, but I will write more very shortly. You are a talented writer; all you need is a couple more drafts, a little more in tune with your character, and you will have a great story.
This Feedback was...
Oh.My.Gosh.
I love your story.
Expesiclly Forbidden love that's what caught my attention immediatly when I read the summary.
Keep writting or I'll be sad:(
I love your story.
Expesiclly Forbidden love that's what caught my attention immediatly when I read the summary.
Keep writting or I'll be sad:(
This Feedback was...
sounds soooo awsome!!!!!!!!!!! good luck on it and add in a few bloody battles and it'll be great. =) i cant wait to read it. =)
This Feedback was...
Sounds really original!! can't wait to start reading it now :D
This Feedback was...
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