Book Info
Participants:
The WEbook community
The WEbook community
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only
Project Leader Only
Format:
Collection
Collection
Type:
Fiction
Fiction
Genre:
Science Fiction and Fantasy
Science Fiction and Fantasy
Language:
English
English
book_central
GIVE FEEDBACK
11/17/2008 07:30 PM PT
wishing you the best
11/17/2008 04:54 PM PT
You go! Thumbs up.
11/17/2008 03:47 PM PT
omg didnt even read it and its good! i hope u get published!
11/17/2008 01:13 PM PT
MJ told me to vote for you because you rule. I do whatever she wants me to do.
11/17/2008 12:32 PM PT
I know many people who read this will become disinterested upon the first couple chapters. They think nothing is happening and it's all just words scrambled together on a page in an effort to make a story. But they don't see the deeper meanings, the feelings that happen beneath the surface of the words. I loved this story - you just have so much to say. You have my vote. =)
11/17/2008 11:54 AM PT
You have captured my curiosity. Great job & you have my vote!
11/17/2008 09:04 AM PT
Darkened Jade --
Once the vote is over, I suggest that you reorganize this so that stories with multiple parts, like Deserter Parts 1-4, are contiguous to one another, for ease of reading. If you haven't moved submissions around before -- just click manage submissions and change the number before the piece that you want to move, and hit "apply."
I enjoyed your insights. Good Luck! nancy
Once the vote is over, I suggest that you reorganize this so that stories with multiple parts, like Deserter Parts 1-4, are contiguous to one another, for ease of reading. If you haven't moved submissions around before -- just click manage submissions and change the number before the piece that you want to move, and hit "apply."
I enjoyed your insights. Good Luck! nancy
11/17/2008 08:37 AM PT
This is really good, the feeling that go into it are perfect.
Publish.
Publish.
11/16/2008 06:28 PM PT
:) Publish and go for it
11/15/2008 01:00 AM PT
To me it seemed like each word was meant to be, heartless and cold, exactly what you're trying to get across.
I know how actuality can feel, you wrote it up to the point of which where reading it came close to feeling it, it's also great how one thing leads to another.
Great work
I know how actuality can feel, you wrote it up to the point of which where reading it came close to feeling it, it's also great how one thing leads to another.
Great work
11/12/2008 01:01 PM PT
Actually I found it rather cold and unfeeling. It's almost to technical to suite me. But its a good effort. Almost like reading Websters dictionary.
11/12/2008 12:54 PM PT
This is a really interestsing beginning. I love the air of mystery surrounding it all. Especially the way you didn't reveal her name until the end and then at the end, gave her two different names anyway...
I think this needs to be rechecked for grammatical errors, because there are a few... But overall a good effort. (I'm not going to say how I'm voting...) :P
I think this needs to be rechecked for grammatical errors, because there are a few... But overall a good effort. (I'm not going to say how I'm voting...) :P
11/12/2008 06:21 AM PT
I was not moved at all by this project. It seems to be a bit rambling.
11/11/2008 02:45 AM PT
Had a read of many of the short stories. Sadly I did not get engaged, I did not feel anything in most cases. I did read, but somehow they did not move me. Found myself scanning over much of the writing. Might have been the selection of words, I often found that words were used in situations where, in my humble opinion, they did not belong.
I wish I could explain this better. Something mechanical comes to mind.
Probably just me.
I wish I could explain this better. Something mechanical comes to mind.
Probably just me.
11/10/2008 03:05 PM PT
To anyone who actually makes it through the lengthy staccato preamble: I am impressed with your attention span. I don't share it.
In general, I think this author will improve over time. Allow me to quote the first paragraph of actual prose:
"The girl moved quickly down darkened streets, pausing only to glance furtively around before hastening on. Her steps were soft in leather boots; she ghosted along among the shadows, her dark clothes blending perfectly with the shadows of the night. The roar of an engine as a car turned into the street caused her to stumble and she clutched at the fence to keep from falling. The light faded then the noise and the car was gone."
Aside from obvious grammatical difficulties, it just isn't much of a hook. The author is at least thoughtful regarding her word choice.
To the author: Keep working! I'll bet webook will help to refine your craft.
In general, I think this author will improve over time. Allow me to quote the first paragraph of actual prose:
"The girl moved quickly down darkened streets, pausing only to glance furtively around before hastening on. Her steps were soft in leather boots; she ghosted along among the shadows, her dark clothes blending perfectly with the shadows of the night. The roar of an engine as a car turned into the street caused her to stumble and she clutched at the fence to keep from falling. The light faded then the noise and the car was gone."
Aside from obvious grammatical difficulties, it just isn't much of a hook. The author is at least thoughtful regarding her word choice.
To the author: Keep working! I'll bet webook will help to refine your craft.
11/10/2008 04:40 AM PT
Got my vote! Love your contribution to several of my favorite themes in writing!
11/10/2008 12:17 AM PT
Intriguing, different and well put together - good luck.
11/9/2008 11:29 PM PT
I liked this,
it was very well written and i enjoyed reading it.
You have my vote, definetly!
it was very well written and i enjoyed reading it.
You have my vote, definetly!
11/9/2008 08:32 AM PT
I liked this one also, good luck
11/9/2008 07:20 AM PT
vote +1
11/9/2008 06:00 AM PT
Good luck
11/9/2008 01:56 AM PT
Without Jessicas word how would i establish that such a relationship exists. Why didn't put.............instead of that such.....you could have wrote....our relationship exists.
It would just sound that the relationship between jessica and your character is really important
It would just sound that the relationship between jessica and your character is really important
11/9/2008 01:52 AM PT
i'm a little cofused but i think i'll get it after i read more thumbs up for me
11/8/2008 06:48 PM PT
I don't really care if the writing is good or not, just ask and I'll vote. In this way I could tell if you are really serious enough about your work, enough to do everything. But I got to admit though, this story is great.
11/8/2008 03:03 PM PT
Excellent writing, pulled me in and kept me there but I think it was because I already have a philosophical outlook on life to begin with, many others are too rooted in religion or such and cant step out of the box they are stuck in. I think life is the dream, the safari the spirit takes on when we become bored of our true existence in spirit form and desires to exist in the real of the physical. :-) Good luck.
11/8/2008 02:03 PM PT
Hey this was pretty cool in a weird almost confusing way. I vote thumbs up. Do the stories stand alone? If they do I'm not sure I understand what this was all about even though the way it was written is interesting.
Minor spelling error:
It was some time before he realised he was being laughed at.
realized
This is the first one i've read so I'll read more to see if I can answer my own question.
~Trozin
Minor spelling error:
It was some time before he realised he was being laughed at.
realized
This is the first one i've read so I'll read more to see if I can answer my own question.
~Trozin
11/8/2008 11:45 AM PT
great job love the whole idea , really hope it gets published
11/8/2008 05:24 AM PT
It's beautiful. I love it to pieces. It's very deep and well written. cannot wait to read more. It's intrigueing. Lovely :)
11/8/2008 12:31 AM PT
I enjoyed this because you did such a great job arguing an "ancient" philosophy, "I think therefore I am" and I Think my favorite part of this is when you say "Rubbish". heh, heh. I don't Think I've ever heard anyone contradict that philosophy.
You've got brains and talent, and a deep insight for something that most of us wouldn't ponder, even in a college Philosophy class.
(applause!) <--- yea, you can take another bow =)
Thumbs up!
anitalite :-)_
You've got brains and talent, and a deep insight for something that most of us wouldn't ponder, even in a college Philosophy class.
(applause!) <--- yea, you can take another bow =)
Thumbs up!
anitalite :-)_
11/7/2008 10:30 PM PT
Go for it
11/7/2008 09:10 PM PT
Very interesting indeed, you should be published!
11/7/2008 07:05 PM PT
When I came to the end I thought, "How cool!" It is very well written, the "answer, damn you!" startled me, like an abrupt transition, but it is okay as it is. I really can't find any problems. Don't get discouraged.
11/7/2008 05:36 PM PT
Again your literary contribution is worthy of fine writers of any era.
Excellently rendered, good luck to you lass.
Excellently rendered, good luck to you lass.
11/7/2008 05:23 PM PT
Definitely a good read, as others have said, however I think it needs one or two really good thorough edits before publishing. It's not that there are really obvious grammatical or spelling errors, but that there are places where you need to revise a sentence to clarify, sentences that need to be deleted, and thoughts you need to sort out. I Also noticed a few run-on sentences, places where there are uneccessary words, and stuff like that.
As far as plot, this was great. You have some really nice dialogue two.
In total, I really like your writing style, but again, I think it needs a little work. (Try to avoid saying stuff like: "She did this, she thought that", It makes work tedious and reading it boring.)
Sorry if this was a little harsh. I know I tend to elaborate more on bad points than good ones. I think you're a very promising writer, and I'm gonna give it a maybe for this voting cycle. :)
Good luck, and I can't wait to read more of your work!
As far as plot, this was great. You have some really nice dialogue two.
In total, I really like your writing style, but again, I think it needs a little work. (Try to avoid saying stuff like: "She did this, she thought that", It makes work tedious and reading it boring.)
Sorry if this was a little harsh. I know I tend to elaborate more on bad points than good ones. I think you're a very promising writer, and I'm gonna give it a maybe for this voting cycle. :)
Good luck, and I can't wait to read more of your work!
11/7/2008 04:28 PM PT
Absolutely Astounding!
11/7/2008 04:06 PM PT
Find this a good read for sure. Got my vote!
11/7/2008 04:00 PM PT
again, how many works do you have up for the vote. I suppose we can expect them to ALL have the same vote tally. it's too bad really because I kind of wont read any of the others, because I feel like its taking from the other good works that should be considered.
11/7/2008 03:20 PM PT
Another vote
11/7/2008 02:51 PM PT
Really Good Work !
11/7/2008 02:31 PM PT
This well written and actually very original! You have talent!
11/7/2008 01:47 PM PT
You got my vote!
11/7/2008 01:28 PM PT
your words reach me in a genuine way
a vote for you
love,
mel
a vote for you
love,
mel
11/6/2008 10:52 PM PT
Prolific work...either you don't work or go to school, or live a life (lol) or you are very dedicated. I think the quality shows the dedication! Good Luck.
11/6/2008 09:51 PM PT
Very good read...thumbs up!!!
11/6/2008 06:55 AM PT
Wow, Jade, how much are you writing? You've got all kinds of things on here and they're all good and all getting my vote!
11/5/2008 05:19 PM PT
great job
11/4/2008 01:08 PM PT
Powerful prose that takes the reader on a journey. Brilliant work.
Goodluck
Goodluck
11/4/2008 10:49 AM PT
voted for you this was great
11/4/2008 10:14 AM PT
I don't need to say anything. : D
11/4/2008 09:27 AM PT
I like your writing wise they were longer .
11/4/2008 09:01 AM PT
Voted great job. I have a childrens book called The Sturtles up for vote also.
11/4/2008 08:23 AM PT
A very clever and well thought out collection of stories, good luck in the vote!
11/4/2008 06:55 AM PT
Yay! I got my vote in early! Thumb's up!
11/4/2008 03:34 AM PT
A wonderful collection of short stories. Heart warming and intelligent tales.
8/16/2008 06:16 PM PT
These are most definitely fictional works. Short story formats and conventions used for almost all. They have the common theme of confronting reality and different perspectives but they are all works of fiction.
8/16/2008 10:23 AM PT
So is this going to be fiction, or non? Is it going to be accounts for things explained, or your explaination on things as you see them through characters made up? It seems like you are writing more fiction, so it will be an explanation through your perspective on these three topics as you see them but in a fiction setting? Sorry, I was just trying to get more perspective before I start reading more of it.
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