Book Info
-
Project Leader:
DianaChristine
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Teen
Literary -
Language:
English
book_central
Allison Wonderland
They are three teenagers of a lost generation. Brother and sister Jeremy and Zoey not only befriend Allison, they take over her life. In a world where parents don't understand and teachers don't care, Allison learns of many vices that teenagers use to block out the pain and hopelessness that they don't know how to handle. If Allison isn't strong enough to survive the wonderland that is the teenage years, her friends won't only teach her how to be alive. They might just teach her how to die
... more »
GIVE FEEDBACK
10/21/2009 11:39 AM PDT
I LOVE THIS BOOK!
I've read like at least 10 times, more or less, idk. :)
The part were Jeremty Zoey are making out, kinda grosses me out, but...In a way, its good, adds a little shock to the reader. Honestly, I cannot! express how much, i love this story, THANK YOU for writing it :D. hehe.
I've read like at least 10 times, more or less, idk. :)
The part were Jeremty Zoey are making out, kinda grosses me out, but...In a way, its good, adds a little shock to the reader. Honestly, I cannot! express how much, i love this story, THANK YOU for writing it :D. hehe.
8/17/2009 5:37 PM PDT
Can I just say,
I've read this twice already all the way through, and I keep coming back to it to read my favourite chapters and parts.
Through every published and non-published book I've ever read, this is my favourite of all time.
I've read this twice already all the way through, and I keep coming back to it to read my favourite chapters and parts.
Through every published and non-published book I've ever read, this is my favourite of all time.
5/27/2009 9:49 AM PDT
I aparently have strong uncontrolable emotions when it comes to certain books. I read "Night" a auto-biographal book about a man who was in a concentration camp when he was a teenager. During the month or so that I read it i was extremely depressed. When I read your book I got into some old destructive habbits. I looked it, by the way, so dont take what i'm saying out of context. I'm just saying, "Night"
was an award winning book, and your book had an even stronger emotional effect on me. It was great. Please, never stop writing!
was an award winning book, and your book had an even stronger emotional effect on me. It was great. Please, never stop writing!
2/16/2009 9:57 PM PST
I've only read a few of your chapters but I quite like where the story was going. I started it before I joined WEBook and honestly thought it had a real shot at being published. Your characterisation reminds me of Melina Marchetta's work (Looking for Alibrandi and On the Jellicoe Road) as you've captured the teenage spirit really well.
Good luck for next time,
JS
Good luck for next time,
JS
2/7/2009 5:54 PM PST
So, it didn't win. Do you get another chance?
I know this book is worth it to be published so keep trying!
- Mackenzie
I know this book is worth it to be published so keep trying!
- Mackenzie
1/27/2009 5:52 PM PST
this book deserved to win! This book is amazing and instead of picking it they picked crappy books that no one will read once it gets published!
you have my support, i have read this book AT LEAST 20,000,000,000,000 times. :]
you have my support, i have read this book AT LEAST 20,000,000,000,000 times. :]
1/19/2009 6:25 AM PST
This deserved to be published, but instead they picked two crappy books that are nothing compared to your book. One of the books getting publihed only had 51 thumbs up! You should have been published. Maybe you'll still have some luck with other companies. These people are dumb for not picking your book.
I know! Save up some money and try to self publish your book instead. It is at least 300-900 dollars to do it. Try for some family support.
Good luck!
I know! Save up some money and try to self publish your book instead. It is at least 300-900 dollars to do it. Try for some family support.
Good luck!
11/18/2008 10:38 PM PST
I, Thursias, bane of webookers, just wanted to give my final thoughts, prior to the end of the vote:
This is my number 2 pick to be published in this voting cycle. There are two primary reasons for this:
1) It is beautifully written and requires no further editing as nearly as I can tell.
2) Despite being as far from 'something I would read' as possible, I found myself turning the pages. This is a great work, far superior than 90% of the rubbish America's publishing industry crams on the shelves each year.
This is my number 2 pick to be published in this voting cycle. There are two primary reasons for this:
1) It is beautifully written and requires no further editing as nearly as I can tell.
2) Despite being as far from 'something I would read' as possible, I found myself turning the pages. This is a great work, far superior than 90% of the rubbish America's publishing industry crams on the shelves each year.
11/18/2008 9:01 PM PST
I loved it - i read the first three chapters and it was great - love to see it published
11/18/2008 8:21 PM PST
a point of view that should be heard.
11/18/2008 7:30 PM PST
This story was wonderful. When I started reading, I couldn't get it of my mind. It really sticks with you. I would love to see it published.
11/18/2008 3:25 PM PST
yooooooos. yeah... looks interesting...
but i voted for like five others before this one....
but i voted for like five others before this one....
11/18/2008 2:47 PM PST
Yay, I loved this story so much. It deserves to be published beyond belief.
-fictitious facades (on FP)
-fictitious facades (on FP)
11/18/2008 1:15 PM PST
Hey, loved on FictionPress. LOVE it here. No need to ask of course I vote. Allison's story totally deserves to be out there!
GOOD LUCK!!
(R3L)
GOOD LUCK!!
(R3L)
11/18/2008 12:00 PM PST
Hey! I've posted a few shout outs on message boards I frequent for people to come read Allison and vote if they like it. Hope lots of people do!
Good luck!
Good luck!
11/18/2008 9:48 AM PST
This definitely deserves to be published, it's awesome!
11/18/2008 8:31 AM PST
this is seriously an amazing story and needs to be published! i would certainly buy it!
11/18/2008 12:09 AM PST
Can't wait to one day be reading this from a book! Definately deserves to win, and has the talent to go with it :]
11/17/2008 11:12 PM PST
OMG this has to be published - amazingamazingamazing!!
11/17/2008 9:53 PM PST
THIS DESERVES PUBLISHING!
11/17/2008 9:40 PM PST
I've already read this story on Fictionpress and I think it's freakin' awesome! I love Allison, she's sweet. I also think Jeremy is hot lol. Anyway, people should read this. There's good angst and romance. Check it out!
11/17/2008 7:41 PM PST
Definately the best thing I've read in a while!
11/17/2008 7:38 PM PST
Publish! I loved this book so much!
11/17/2008 7:21 PM PST
Definately publish this story! I first read it on a site where I completely fell in love with it! If any book should be published, it's this one! If it was published, I'd definately buy it and make all my friends read it!
What makes this book special, I think, is the sad ending. Some people say its a depressing ending, but I get so sick of the cliched everyone lives happily ever after ending that a story like this is so refreshing and I think other people might appreciate it for the same reasons I do.
Publish this story. You won't regret it.
What makes this book special, I think, is the sad ending. Some people say its a depressing ending, but I get so sick of the cliched everyone lives happily ever after ending that a story like this is so refreshing and I think other people might appreciate it for the same reasons I do.
Publish this story. You won't regret it.
11/17/2008 7:03 PM PST
You know I loved the story :) Hope you win!
11/17/2008 5:21 PM PST
Some people have the ability to make people happy just from reading their writing. You have the talent that can take you everywhere. When you write you can't help but feel what the character feels in the book. When they're sad, we feel sad. When they're happy, we're happy.
We can't help it, its a natural reaction. And that's why your book is leading the votes
LUV YA!
We can't help it, its a natural reaction. And that's why your book is leading the votes
LUV YA!
11/17/2008 1:17 PM PST
MJ told me to vote for you because you rule. I do whatever she wants me to do.
11/17/2008 11:47 AM PST
Hilarious about the Stewie rug!!! HAAAAA
11/17/2008 9:43 AM PST
Diane --
You are obviously a talented writer, with an enormous fan base for your writing. This story's focus is a bit "young" for me . . . but I expect that I am not in your target audience since my teen years occured "many moons ago." ;-)
The first thing that I noticed is your use of the passive voice in the first few paragraphs. That's always a bit of a turn off for me. Of course, in a Tale of Two Cities, Dickens starts off with: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . ." so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. ;-)
Current:
I was invisible before Jeremy saw me. More than invisible- I was nothing. Invisibility invokes the idea of something you can’t see, but it’s still something.
Consider:
Before Jeremy saw me, nobody saw me. Invisible to the casual observer, I wandered the halls of my high school, a mere nothingness in motion. Less than invisible, I existed without tasting life at all.
Current:
I was just staring at my sneakers, hands shoved deep into my coat pockets, probably slouching. Even when I was out in the open, I was still hiding.
Consider:
When Jeremy cornered me with his penetrating glance, he found me staring at my sneakers, hands shoved deep into my coat pockets, slouching against the wall. Even out in the open, especially out in the open, I hid my essence from view.
Write on! Good Luck! nancy
You are obviously a talented writer, with an enormous fan base for your writing. This story's focus is a bit "young" for me . . . but I expect that I am not in your target audience since my teen years occured "many moons ago." ;-)
The first thing that I noticed is your use of the passive voice in the first few paragraphs. That's always a bit of a turn off for me. Of course, in a Tale of Two Cities, Dickens starts off with: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . ." so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. ;-)
Current:
I was invisible before Jeremy saw me. More than invisible- I was nothing. Invisibility invokes the idea of something you can’t see, but it’s still something.
Consider:
Before Jeremy saw me, nobody saw me. Invisible to the casual observer, I wandered the halls of my high school, a mere nothingness in motion. Less than invisible, I existed without tasting life at all.
Current:
I was just staring at my sneakers, hands shoved deep into my coat pockets, probably slouching. Even when I was out in the open, I was still hiding.
Consider:
When Jeremy cornered me with his penetrating glance, he found me staring at my sneakers, hands shoved deep into my coat pockets, slouching against the wall. Even out in the open, especially out in the open, I hid my essence from view.
Write on! Good Luck! nancy
11/16/2008 6:18 PM PST
This book was so amazing. It's even better than books already published. And its definitly different then other dramatic books out there which is really good.
11/16/2008 5:10 PM PST
Agreed, hope you win! :D
11/16/2008 3:08 PM PST
fanastic. good luck!
11/16/2008 2:35 PM PST
deff worth in the book biz. great job. :D
11/16/2008 2:31 PM PST
this is a really good start.
for allison, its good for her to try new things, and its good for people to experiment with who that are.
i really like this
for allison, its good for her to try new things, and its good for people to experiment with who that are.
i really like this
11/16/2008 12:48 PM PST
Very deep. It really makes you question your life and if you're really liveing.
11/16/2008 10:21 AM PST
Invisibility invokes the idea of something you can’t see, but it’s still something.
Wonderful, it's amazing. got my vote!!!!
Wonderful, it's amazing. got my vote!!!!
11/16/2008 3:54 AM PST
i loved it, very beautiful
11/16/2008 2:44 AM PST
love it!
11/15/2008 11:40 PM PST
wow
11/15/2008 7:48 PM PST
This story is so awsome! i cried! >_<
but i loved it! from beginning to end!
but i loved it! from beginning to end!
11/15/2008 7:06 PM PST
You have my vote (Hells Yeah)
11/15/2008 3:06 PM PST
It was good
11/15/2008 3:00 PM PST
OMFG, i love this.
11/15/2008 2:05 PM PST
this story was really good, its a kind of like 'Go Ask Alice' though, but has its own charm, and I would love to get my hands on a copy (if and when it gets published!)
11/15/2008 1:10 PM PST
Amazing. Just freaking amazing.
11/15/2008 6:34 AM PST
you have my vote
11/15/2008 12:27 AM PST
This is amazing! It's made of gold!
11/14/2008 10:32 PM PST
except for the whole stoner thing and making out with adopted sister lol. oh well its an awesome story about teen life, i'm still in my teens and this makes so much sense lol
11/14/2008 10:10 PM PST
Awesome story, reminds me of me lol
11/14/2008 9:11 PM PST
I seriously just spent my entire day reading this. I couldn't stop. I loved it.
11/14/2008 7:47 PM PST
o my god- i absolutley<3 this story!!! please publish!!!!!!!!!
11/14/2008 6:57 PM PST
super good. i first read it on fictionpress and it was amazing. i read it all in one night.
11/14/2008 4:11 PM PST
okay, well, now that i've finished your piece...
there were a lot of things that i liked and that i disliked about it...
first, you have some really solid writing skills...i mean, seriously...especially when you're describing allison's internal feelings/thoughts/ideas...a lot of people forget the emotional highs and lows of being a teenager and i think you capture her confusion, skepticism, need to be loved, desire to fit in (etc.) very well...
as for the things that caught my attention (and understand these are not necessarily 'negative' but perhaps portions you should reconsider)
first i think that a ton of extremely heavy things occur in this story...it's almost worthy of being on the hallmark channel in a movie-of-the-week! (lol, j/k)...you cover teenage drug/alcohol abuse, cutting, teenage sex, incest, rape, suicide, murder and a plethora of other, more-subtle topics...the danger of incorporating this number of things is that your work might end up feeling too heavy-handed and thus the sheer emotional impact of all the experiences hurtling at allison can leave the reader feeling almost as numb and disconnected as allison does (which may be your intent, in which case i bow down to you)...while i can conceivably see in her actions an escalating behavior so that she's experiencing ever-greater extremes, at the same time you don't want her to portray a caricature or stereotype of what a teenager will succumb to (i.e., she'll fall in with a bad crowd, then drink and do drugs, then experiment with sex, then get pregnant, etc. etc. etc.)....i personally don't think your story as is now can be minimalized to this simplistic chain of events sequence, but i think there is the potential there for other people to see allison as the aforementioned caricature, rather than a "real" person...(does that make sense? let me know if not)
also, i never came around to actually liking jeremy as a character...i think his character has tremendous potential to be a truly conflicted person...but as it is right now, he still comes off a little-bit two-dimensional...we never really understand the emotional impact of a lot of the things he experiences...and this inability to truly witness his interior struggle makes allison's love for him less than satisfying...i do think he DOES love her, in a way...but you never get a real sense of how much and i think this is something that can be improved...admittedly, you're not using an omniscient narrator, so i don't know if you want to make changes...but his emotional two-dimensionality bugged me a bit...
i flat-out absolutely loved zoey...seriously...she's such a great character and i wish more time could've been devoted to telling her story...
and finally, the story's conclusion...i feel really ambivalent about it...i liked that allison didn't die and that jeremy and zoey did, b/c i felt that was keeping with the story...but the pregnancy angle i'm not so sure about, mostly b/c the idea of allison comforting herself by the thought she's carrying jeremy's baby grates on every 21st-century feminist nerve i have...i also didn't quite buy into the fact her parents seemed to come around to her way of thinking so quickly...that seemed a mite hasty to me...
BUT i enjoyed the story, quibbles and all, and i think you have incredible talent...
there were a lot of things that i liked and that i disliked about it...
first, you have some really solid writing skills...i mean, seriously...especially when you're describing allison's internal feelings/thoughts/ideas...a lot of people forget the emotional highs and lows of being a teenager and i think you capture her confusion, skepticism, need to be loved, desire to fit in (etc.) very well...
as for the things that caught my attention (and understand these are not necessarily 'negative' but perhaps portions you should reconsider)
first i think that a ton of extremely heavy things occur in this story...it's almost worthy of being on the hallmark channel in a movie-of-the-week! (lol, j/k)...you cover teenage drug/alcohol abuse, cutting, teenage sex, incest, rape, suicide, murder and a plethora of other, more-subtle topics...the danger of incorporating this number of things is that your work might end up feeling too heavy-handed and thus the sheer emotional impact of all the experiences hurtling at allison can leave the reader feeling almost as numb and disconnected as allison does (which may be your intent, in which case i bow down to you)...while i can conceivably see in her actions an escalating behavior so that she's experiencing ever-greater extremes, at the same time you don't want her to portray a caricature or stereotype of what a teenager will succumb to (i.e., she'll fall in with a bad crowd, then drink and do drugs, then experiment with sex, then get pregnant, etc. etc. etc.)....i personally don't think your story as is now can be minimalized to this simplistic chain of events sequence, but i think there is the potential there for other people to see allison as the aforementioned caricature, rather than a "real" person...(does that make sense? let me know if not)
also, i never came around to actually liking jeremy as a character...i think his character has tremendous potential to be a truly conflicted person...but as it is right now, he still comes off a little-bit two-dimensional...we never really understand the emotional impact of a lot of the things he experiences...and this inability to truly witness his interior struggle makes allison's love for him less than satisfying...i do think he DOES love her, in a way...but you never get a real sense of how much and i think this is something that can be improved...admittedly, you're not using an omniscient narrator, so i don't know if you want to make changes...but his emotional two-dimensionality bugged me a bit...
i flat-out absolutely loved zoey...seriously...she's such a great character and i wish more time could've been devoted to telling her story...
and finally, the story's conclusion...i feel really ambivalent about it...i liked that allison didn't die and that jeremy and zoey did, b/c i felt that was keeping with the story...but the pregnancy angle i'm not so sure about, mostly b/c the idea of allison comforting herself by the thought she's carrying jeremy's baby grates on every 21st-century feminist nerve i have...i also didn't quite buy into the fact her parents seemed to come around to her way of thinking so quickly...that seemed a mite hasty to me...
BUT i enjoyed the story, quibbles and all, and i think you have incredible talent...
11/14/2008 2:43 PM PST
thumbs up
11/14/2008 10:21 AM PST
Captivating.
11/14/2008 7:36 AM PST
this is really good. you pretty much had me with the title.
11/14/2008 7:22 AM PST
Definitely catchy, period. Your writing is amazing. You've got my vote, and good luck!
11/14/2008 6:41 AM PST
Definitely a catching first chapter.
11/13/2008 5:24 PM PST
I voted! Great job.
11/13/2008 3:41 PM PST
my first thought went, the next morning??? no!!!!! mostly b/c i was curious about allison's thoughts that night, how she felt about the experience of being w/ jeremy, etc...
this part is great: [like a mess of vowels. Miss Moss Mess.]
ooooh! i love the way ch. 2 ends, when allison "gets" the music and your descriptions of the feel of this setting were really great...
this part is great: [like a mess of vowels. Miss Moss Mess.]
ooooh! i love the way ch. 2 ends, when allison "gets" the music and your descriptions of the feel of this setting were really great...
11/13/2008 3:15 PM PST
well written, captures the reader from start to finish you got my vote and the best of luck
11/13/2008 2:44 PM PST
okay, just as a preface, so we're on the same page (pun intended, lol)...
i will be leaving my comments as i'm reading the chapter so that you're getting my immediate "in the moment" feedback...that being said, if i comment on something which is later cleared up or more fully explained, i promise i will totally take back my original comments...and please, if i say anything that is unclear, let me know and i'll try to clarify my points...
first off, i really like your opening sentences...i definitely believe in the importance of "the hook" to grab your readers' attention, and you pulled this one off completely, so well done...my curiosity was definitely piqued...
i think this sentence is a teensy bit awkward [The exact moment that nothingness ended, we were standing in front of Colebrook High School waiting for the late bus.]...i really like the sentiment behind it, but i think it needs to be re-worded a bit...
i'm not sure about jeremy's character yet...it seems like he's got a completely internal monologue going on, which allison gets to hear bits and pieces of...but it doesn't feel like he's really seeking to draw her into a conversation, more like he's making statements b/c he's already made up his mind, regardless of what she says/thinks...he's definitely an "onion" character (i.e. he's got multiple layers)...
BUT...i really really like allison so far...her internal questioning, the fact she doesn't know why she's doing things or how she feels about them...i'm really interested to see how things progress with her character in the remainder of the plot...
i'm also totally interested in seeing how zoey develops...i think that so far, out of jeremy and zoey, zoey seems the more mysterious and compelling character, and i'm really looking forward to how she evolves...
i will be leaving my comments as i'm reading the chapter so that you're getting my immediate "in the moment" feedback...that being said, if i comment on something which is later cleared up or more fully explained, i promise i will totally take back my original comments...and please, if i say anything that is unclear, let me know and i'll try to clarify my points...
first off, i really like your opening sentences...i definitely believe in the importance of "the hook" to grab your readers' attention, and you pulled this one off completely, so well done...my curiosity was definitely piqued...
i think this sentence is a teensy bit awkward [The exact moment that nothingness ended, we were standing in front of Colebrook High School waiting for the late bus.]...i really like the sentiment behind it, but i think it needs to be re-worded a bit...
i'm not sure about jeremy's character yet...it seems like he's got a completely internal monologue going on, which allison gets to hear bits and pieces of...but it doesn't feel like he's really seeking to draw her into a conversation, more like he's making statements b/c he's already made up his mind, regardless of what she says/thinks...he's definitely an "onion" character (i.e. he's got multiple layers)...
BUT...i really really like allison so far...her internal questioning, the fact she doesn't know why she's doing things or how she feels about them...i'm really interested to see how things progress with her character in the remainder of the plot...
i'm also totally interested in seeing how zoey develops...i think that so far, out of jeremy and zoey, zoey seems the more mysterious and compelling character, and i'm really looking forward to how she evolves...
11/13/2008 1:57 PM PST
Hmm. I read the whole thing, and to be completely honest I was captivated, but I'm not sure how I feel about it, for me at least.
Your writing skills are fantastic, though.
Your writing skills are fantastic, though.
11/13/2008 1:20 PM PST
amazing! publish for sure
11/13/2008 10:13 AM PST
I first read this on Fictionpress and I thought it was the best I've read so far! Has to be published!
11/13/2008 8:22 AM PST
Okay, I finished reading it -I will say that was truly well done! I am glad that I voted yes, and I am glad I finihed reading it. I have a book on here up for vote, but this deserves to be puslished. Hopefully, it will help struggling teenagers and give them some inspiration to push forwrd through the bad times. Best of luck to you!
11/13/2008 6:23 AM PST
best of luck, got my vote ;)
11/12/2008 6:59 PM PST
I've been reading this and I voted, but I realized that I never commented!
So far, I'm really enjoying your style of writing. At some scenes, I don't know if it's appropriate for young adults. lol. And I can't really relate to Allison, but you write awesomely! (is that a word?) ANyway, I enjoyed it so far, and some scenes, wow, I never ever thought of that happening. LIke the part where Jeremy and Zoey are making out, totally caught me off guard. My innocent mind!! It's scarred! lol. That scene might capture some readers' interest or lose them, not sure, but it was...interesting.
You've captured a good part of some teenagers' lives, neglection and misunderstanding. :) Nice.
--Hayley
So far, I'm really enjoying your style of writing. At some scenes, I don't know if it's appropriate for young adults. lol. And I can't really relate to Allison, but you write awesomely! (is that a word?) ANyway, I enjoyed it so far, and some scenes, wow, I never ever thought of that happening. LIke the part where Jeremy and Zoey are making out, totally caught me off guard. My innocent mind!! It's scarred! lol. That scene might capture some readers' interest or lose them, not sure, but it was...interesting.
You've captured a good part of some teenagers' lives, neglection and misunderstanding. :) Nice.
--Hayley
11/12/2008 6:10 PM PST
wow absolutely amazing. You have captured the very essence
of how a teenage life is. You are my idol=)
of how a teenage life is. You are my idol=)
11/12/2008 2:26 PM PST
I actually do make quite a few references to Alice in Wonderland, as well as Dante's Inferno and the Bible... most of them are subtle, though. I do agree that it is annoying that every time I say the novel's name out loud I have to explain it, but it looks good on paper and the title has just kind of stuck. If anyone has any ideas for anything better, I'll gladly listen to them.
11/12/2008 1:39 PM PST
About the title: The title doesn't have to be a summary of the story... that's what the summary is for. It's a clever title. Believe it or not, a lot of people pick up a book to read the summary because of the title (I'm not going to lie; I'm sometimes one of those people). What should it be named? Girl Meets Two Teens and Experiments With Drugs? Clever.
Plus, if you want to get technical, Alice in Wonderland was written on drugs. There's drugs in Allison Wonderland. Allison is in a "wonderland" of sorts. It makes sense. Really, it does.
Long time fan. I want to read this curled up in my living room, with the book in my hands. Fictionpress just isn't going to cut it with this one!
-Love,
Maddie
Plus, if you want to get technical, Alice in Wonderland was written on drugs. There's drugs in Allison Wonderland. Allison is in a "wonderland" of sorts. It makes sense. Really, it does.
Long time fan. I want to read this curled up in my living room, with the book in my hands. Fictionpress just isn't going to cut it with this one!
-Love,
Maddie
11/12/2008 12:20 PM PST
I agree with a previous comment about the title. It can only have been done to attract attention as it has little bearing on the content. If your work is good enough it will stand on its' own merit, with its' own appropriate title. If you don't have confidence in it how are others supposed to. I write poetry and am not qualified to say whether you should be published or not. However I have given you my vote as although I was bored by the content I felt it was well written and may well appeal to teen-age girls.
lol john
lol john
11/12/2008 12:10 PM PST
good luck!
11/12/2008 12:04 PM PST
And to lightbrite: Thanks for informing everyone on my page about redundant votes from the same IP address. You'll be happy to know that I have never asked anyone to vote for me on multiple accounts, and I have left a message for my fictionpress readers asking them not to do so. If someone wants to try to vote more than once for me, I can't control them. Thank you, though, for your previous positive feedback.
11/12/2008 11:54 AM PST
Landfyoung- thank you for your comments and questions. I see Allison in her life before Jeremy as completely numb and ignored, a clean slate, and that's what makes her so vulnerable to him when he comes along and starts to excite her. She likes the attention and craves it and wants to hold on to it, no matter what she has to do for it. She hasn't figured out who she is yet, and I think that there is ultimately one thing that she wants: now that she knows how to feel things, she wants happiness- unfortunately she's just looking for it in all the wrong places. She just doesn't know any better yet because she's so young. She's a true victim of neglect from her parents, whom normally would teach a child a foundation of good morals and self-worth. If you keep reading, you'll see her start to think more for herself in parts two and three.
In a lot of the reviews and feedback I've received for this novel, readers have said that they see themselves in Allison and they can relate to her. Some said they made the same mistakes as Allison, and others said that they live vicariously through her. Since Allison is so relatable, I feel like the book's final message is a powerful one- but it has to be dark in the beginning in order to fully appreciate the light at the end.
In a lot of the reviews and feedback I've received for this novel, readers have said that they see themselves in Allison and they can relate to her. Some said they made the same mistakes as Allison, and others said that they live vicariously through her. Since Allison is so relatable, I feel like the book's final message is a powerful one- but it has to be dark in the beginning in order to fully appreciate the light at the end.
11/12/2008 11:30 AM PST
I read chapter two and am not sure about where you are going with this, I will finish reading before I make anymore judgments, but I wish now that I had read more before I voted. First off, "eww", even if they are not brother and sister. And second, why is Allison such an easy push over? Some character development would be good. Tell us why her parents let her leave without question, why she has no morals or sense of self. Why does she just do anything? Being a nothing is not enough. It doesn't help the reader understand why she thinks of herself as a nothing.
11/12/2008 11:27 AM PST
I've been a fan for a long time, can't wait to have this on my bookshelf!
11/12/2008 11:25 AM PST
Awsome story. I have read it multiple times and am touched at the events
11/12/2008 11:06 AM PST
I read chapter one, and I like it. It is a good start, but I wonder abour the use of "recitation"? I teach high school and I don't know many high schoolers who use that word. Especially a guy talking to a girl. Still it gets my vote and I will continue to read :)! Wtg
11/12/2008 9:48 AM PST
chapter 25 was powerfully awesome. The last two chapters were nice and left me with hope for Allison. Great book. There are a few errors that shouldn't be hard for an editor to find. I should have wrote down the ones I saw while reading.
11/12/2008 8:29 AM PST
Melissa just wrote to inform me that webook does use an IP monitor, so redundant IP votes will not count.
11/12/2008 8:02 AM PST
I read your story ages ago and told my friends to look you up and read it and our first comments we're that it should be published. But it should defiantly be sold in the UK!! hint hint :P
11/12/2008 7:11 AM PST
The sex scene in chapter ten might not fit YA novel standards.
11/12/2008 4:39 AM PST
this has won, planned from the beginning
11/12/2008 12:22 AM PST
Ok, I like this book, but I have to say this: I think that the blank profiles on here need to go back and maybe add some details to their profiles. Something about the appearance of impropriety. Anyway, i'm on chapter four. Still loving it.
11/11/2008 11:41 PM PST
i love this book! Hope you get published x
11/11/2008 8:42 PM PST
Good luck.
11/11/2008 8:38 PM PST
Likin' the story. Hope you win.
11/11/2008 8:36 PM PST
Yay! I'm so excited you're doing well! I love this story and I think it would do well published. I'll definately buy a copy!
11/11/2008 8:26 PM PST
Hey Diana! My friend Elizabeth Arlen pointed me toward your stuff and I agree with her; your stuff is amazing! I'm really impressed, I hope you win!
11/11/2008 8:06 PM PST
I read this while she was still writing the last chapters to it. And i've gotta say, it was a really good story. The plot is touching and the author was able to develop her characters more deeply throughout the story. Very awesomely good story right here man.
11/11/2008 7:22 PM PST
I would like to say that I've read the webook.com contract. it's HORRIFYING. My advice is to NOT publish your work here.
11/11/2008 4:08 PM PST
This was very good
11/11/2008 3:07 PM PST
I love this story.
It's wonderfully well-written and captivating.
=)
It's wonderfully well-written and captivating.
=)
11/11/2008 1:51 PM PST
It needs to get out there. And I reviewed once on FP. and i'm sure i said the same exact thing. Allison needs to get out there. tell her story.
11/11/2008 1:40 PM PST
This is just simply amazing.
11/11/2008 11:09 AM PST
Amazing... I could not stop reading, and no, I am not a teenage girl, but a 26 year old woman forever looking for some happiness. And you have provided me with a little bit of that tonight. Thank you. (I promise to still buy your book when it gets released ;-))
11/11/2008 10:20 AM PST
Hey Diana! I just had to comment once more.
1. I couldn't help but notice thursias's review below. I have read some of his comments on other stories, and while I agree with him on some points and admire him for his honesty, he can be a bit too blunt. The fact that even he praises your work is just another proof "Allison Wonderland" would be a success on the bookshelves.
2. Even though I AM a teenage girl (which I get a lot of grief about when I'm trying to discuss literary and music tastes), and I am aware that the book's voice is markedly female, I think your work would be just as well accepted among teen boys and a higher age group - well written works are good for all ages.
3. Forget about the (extremely rare!) negative reviews; what matters is that you believe in your project and have hundreds of people supporting that belief.
4. Never give up!
Just wanted to leave you some words of support and wish you good luck once more! ;)
1. I couldn't help but notice thursias's review below. I have read some of his comments on other stories, and while I agree with him on some points and admire him for his honesty, he can be a bit too blunt. The fact that even he praises your work is just another proof "Allison Wonderland" would be a success on the bookshelves.
2. Even though I AM a teenage girl (which I get a lot of grief about when I'm trying to discuss literary and music tastes), and I am aware that the book's voice is markedly female, I think your work would be just as well accepted among teen boys and a higher age group - well written works are good for all ages.
3. Forget about the (extremely rare!) negative reviews; what matters is that you believe in your project and have hundreds of people supporting that belief.
4. Never give up!
Just wanted to leave you some words of support and wish you good luck once more! ;)
11/11/2008 6:21 AM PST
Great story.. but it isnt my type of book also. It's just too ordinary that i get turned off by it. But thats just one person.. your writing is great.. but just not my cup of tea. you do deserve to win though
11/10/2008 10:49 PM PST
Wow, this really is just bloody good. Absolutely publication ready.
Very few author's can write in the first person to any effect, and this one is just dynamite. Even I, a horror/sci-fi affectionado, keep coming back to read the next few pages. Just sooo good.
Furthermore, it is really great to see this level of literature being marketed to teens!
Very few author's can write in the first person to any effect, and this one is just dynamite. Even I, a horror/sci-fi affectionado, keep coming back to read the next few pages. Just sooo good.
Furthermore, it is really great to see this level of literature being marketed to teens!
11/10/2008 8:06 PM PST
by far the best story in this contest Good Luck getting it published Diana :)
11/10/2008 7:44 PM PST
great work diana! :]
11/10/2008 5:24 PM PST
Diana,
From one top webooker to another, I would like to extend my sincere respect to you for your work. A great book is still a great book no matter what audience it is written for. Decades ago, a British author wrote a children's book that many people in the industry didn't think much of. That book was "The Hobbit", and the author was J.R.R. Tolkien (who obviously was one of the most significant authors of the twentieth century). The point is, a book should be judged by the character of its content rather than the surface of its initial appearance. I applaud you in the same way that many others have here on webook. Congratulations on your work. We should chat sometime.
-Robert Jimenez
Author of "The Joy Oven"
From one top webooker to another, I would like to extend my sincere respect to you for your work. A great book is still a great book no matter what audience it is written for. Decades ago, a British author wrote a children's book that many people in the industry didn't think much of. That book was "The Hobbit", and the author was J.R.R. Tolkien (who obviously was one of the most significant authors of the twentieth century). The point is, a book should be judged by the character of its content rather than the surface of its initial appearance. I applaud you in the same way that many others have here on webook. Congratulations on your work. We should chat sometime.
-Robert Jimenez
Author of "The Joy Oven"
11/10/2008 2:12 PM PST
First off, I am not a teenage girl, and hence, perhaps unsurprisingly, am not going to read past the first chapter of this book. Having said that, I recognize that I am definitely not the target audience for this book. It is pretty well written and Much More Polished than most other webook novels.
11/10/2008 11:54 AM PST
this is wonderful writing, and a wonderful story.
11/9/2008 11:25 PM PST
This is real, good writing - just about the best I have seen here! I am voting for you!
11/9/2008 8:28 PM PST
Congratulations Diana. I hope your dreams pan out exactly how you want them to. You have been a good writer since we were kids.
11/9/2008 2:59 PM PST
i love it! may not be much of a story person but i loved it! hope it goes well! good luck
11/9/2008 1:41 PM PST
Congrats Diana, this is absolutely wonderful! I hope and pray that your dream comes true! :) <3
11/9/2008 11:08 AM PST
I read this months ago on Fictionpress, and I thought it was wonderful. It brought out emotion, kept interest, and ends in a very interesting way. This is truly wonderful.
The characters are relateable, the story feels real, and coming from a teenager (target audience?) this story would make a wonderful book.
The characters are relateable, the story feels real, and coming from a teenager (target audience?) this story would make a wonderful book.
11/9/2008 10:45 AM PST
I enjoyed the first chapter, not my usual type of book, I would read, but I liked the way that you write your words, and how you put a clear picture in the reader head.
11/9/2008 10:14 AM PST
i like
11/9/2008 6:56 AM PST
boring
11/9/2008 6:12 AM PST
Well done, I was pulled into the scenes very easily.
11/9/2008 3:30 AM PST
Hi Diana, I only read chapter 1 so far but instantly I was brought back to my high school days. You are so talented and I am glad I was directed to this. I hope all your dreams come true and good luck. I will be sure to spread the word for you.
Janet
Janet
11/8/2008 5:19 PM PST
I surely hope you win and get this published you have my vote for sure
11/8/2008 3:53 PM PST
this story is really good, but im confused as to why allison is so depressed? and doesnt like herself? And nothing has even happened to her... ? I understand teens need help sometimes, but what made her want to do all these things? People dont just vomit for no reason, or cut themselves. And it doesnt really seem that her parents are even ignoring her. but it is a good story.
11/8/2008 2:35 PM PST
My last comment might get mis-read...I mean --- this is so well-written, and seems to come so naturally, that it inspires me to give my own novel more time/effort...since I've been blocked for some time. You have a gift! Hope you get the go-ahead!
11/8/2008 2:33 PM PST
This seriously inspires me to get back to my writing!
11/8/2008 2:31 PM PST
Wow! Now this is good! PUBLISH!!!
11/8/2008 1:58 PM PST
sounds amazing can't wait to hera more about it
love the word play with the name!
love the word play with the name!
11/8/2008 1:51 PM PST
i loved the opening paragraph I cant wait to finish it!!
11/8/2008 12:47 PM PST
Dito... i just finnished reading your whole story, tho it's a little far out from average teenage life in the situations that have happened it's a fantastic read and very emotion and thought provoking. Here's hoping you get published and if at first you don't suceed you keep trying because this is definately a winner!
11/8/2008 10:57 AM PST
i just finished reading the whole thing and it was awesome
11/8/2008 10:17 AM PST
This story is absolutely AMAZING!
good job with the detail. My name is alyson, and your character is kind of like me. It made me feel like I was her. Good work.
I definitely want to see this published.
good job with the detail. My name is alyson, and your character is kind of like me. It made me feel like I was her. Good work.
I definitely want to see this published.
11/8/2008 8:36 AM PST
your story is awesome
11/8/2008 8:17 AM PST
Love your first chapter it reminds me of being a teenage and brought back a vivid memory of my own first cigarette, so true...welldone you!
11/8/2008 7:09 AM PST
I think your book is fantastically and intelligently written.
I look forward to seeing your book published.
I look forward to seeing your book published.
11/8/2008 3:47 AM PST
This is well written with some neat characters. The opening paragraph is fantastic (though does give the rest a lot to live up to). While I am not the target market for this book I can still see how it would be a success. And I think it totally deserves to be published.
One thing, however, I have a real issue with the title of this. First it is a cliche, and second it made me think you were trying to do a modern Alice in Wonderland, but by comparison this has none of the literary tricks and style of Lewis Carroll - not a bad thing since he was incredibly talented - and it doesn't make more specific allusions to the original Alice story, which I think it must to be called Allison Wonderland e.g. the eat me drink me things that Alice finds could be drugs / drink in the modern age. There is a lot of potential there, which I was expecting you to explore from your title. So I'd suggest you maybe think about changing that... On the other hand my current title is not the greatest, either so feel free to disregard my advice!
One thing, however, I have a real issue with the title of this. First it is a cliche, and second it made me think you were trying to do a modern Alice in Wonderland, but by comparison this has none of the literary tricks and style of Lewis Carroll - not a bad thing since he was incredibly talented - and it doesn't make more specific allusions to the original Alice story, which I think it must to be called Allison Wonderland e.g. the eat me drink me things that Alice finds could be drugs / drink in the modern age. There is a lot of potential there, which I was expecting you to explore from your title. So I'd suggest you maybe think about changing that... On the other hand my current title is not the greatest, either so feel free to disregard my advice!
11/8/2008 2:09 AM PST
I'm really sorry I didn't vote for this. It is a very good novel and deserves to be published. I'm sorry for all the negative voting you've recieved
11/7/2008 10:25 PM PST
When she says "It was a nice high but it left me feeling sick afterwards," the voicing seemed a little stiff. A real teenager would never talk like that. Also when she thinks that nothing would really hurt her in tasting a cigarette it isn't really believable because if she's in any normal school she'll have been drilled to about the effects of drugs for her entire life. It's the school counselors favorite subject. Also I wouldn't call here affection love quite yet because she probably wouldn't be thinking in those terms yet. She wouldn't be thinking in terms of love at least untill a couple of hours into the crush at least. Trust me I know. I have a different crush like every day. Jeremy's character comes across very believably. I can picture him perfectly.
11/7/2008 8:35 PM PST
This is very much the style I've been trying... Therefore... you are amazing.
And obviously everyone else agrees....
Er, at least they should.
And obviously everyone else agrees....
Er, at least they should.
11/7/2008 6:58 PM PST
Yay!
11/7/2008 5:39 PM PST
fabulous job! you are success!
11/7/2008 4:47 PM PST
Great writing. Amazing use of the dialogue in Allison's mind outside of the dialogue in the story. It's also very girly, the voice, which ... I imagine is what you're trying to achieve.
The characters speak believably, a rarity in free content. I disagree with critics who say this isn't engaging. Your flow is easy and the chapters wrap up nicely. I am already getting a feel for your personal style in the way you're balancing the first person narrative voice against the physical voice of the character.
Because I wanted to add constructive criticism:
-I would eliminate the ellipses from the dialogue. It comes with a chatroomy feel. If you want to create pauses to stop your dialogue from sounding like an episode of Gilmore Girls (eugh! Who wrote that, anyway?) - add commas, break quotation marks, or heck, add in words that bring friction. Prof. authors do it all the time.
-The phrase "already I was wondering", chapter 1, reads awkwardly.
-My opinion: be careful not to use words like 'just' when they're unnecessary and when outside dialogue.
The characters speak believably, a rarity in free content. I disagree with critics who say this isn't engaging. Your flow is easy and the chapters wrap up nicely. I am already getting a feel for your personal style in the way you're balancing the first person narrative voice against the physical voice of the character.
Because I wanted to add constructive criticism:
-I would eliminate the ellipses from the dialogue. It comes with a chatroomy feel. If you want to create pauses to stop your dialogue from sounding like an episode of Gilmore Girls (eugh! Who wrote that, anyway?) - add commas, break quotation marks, or heck, add in words that bring friction. Prof. authors do it all the time.
-The phrase "already I was wondering", chapter 1, reads awkwardly.
-My opinion: be careful not to use words like 'just' when they're unnecessary and when outside dialogue.
11/7/2008 3:37 PM PST
NEGATIVE VOTES MEAN NOTHING NOW. SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT VOTE IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS. BESIDES, IF YOU READ IT, YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LOVE IT.
11/7/2008 12:10 PM PST
Thanks for your vote, DianeChristine! I too voted for you, even though you are also my competition! I loved the first chapter. It's very well-written and indeed, credit where it is due. no part of my vote was grudging in any way. You deserve to do well with this!
11/7/2008 11:01 AM PST
Hmm.. an other ordinary book
11/7/2008 10:57 AM PST
sorry i didnt like it that much. i expected everything. just not my kinda book.
11/7/2008 10:15 AM PST
Your writing is fantastic!! Have read the first chapter and can't wait to read more. Good luck!
11/7/2008 10:01 AM PST
Good opening chapter
11/7/2008 8:39 AM PST
A budding great writer!
11/7/2008 1:05 AM PST
Great stuff
11/7/2008 12:43 AM PST
wow the title is really clever! nice work
11/6/2008 11:39 PM PST
Pulled in from paragraph one. Absolutely fantastic.
<3Christina
<3Christina
11/6/2008 11:16 PM PST
Wonderful, just wonderful.
11/6/2008 10:11 PM PST
awesome. establishes a mood right off the bat, quite lovely. I enjoyed it. has my vote. wow, young adult fiction is back in a good way. I've read like three on here that really remind me of what it FELT like to be in high school
11/6/2008 9:11 PM PST
ya got my vote,
you had me in the first paragraph!
this is good.
love,
mel
you had me in the first paragraph!
this is good.
love,
mel
11/6/2008 8:59 PM PST
I have to say it is well written and I hope you do well, but it really isn't grabbing me.
11/6/2008 7:49 PM PST
I realize I'm posting again, but I just had to tell you this.
I haven't cried in two years. I don't cry. Ever.
But this? This made me cry.
Absolutely brilliant job. I honestly truly hope it gets published.
you definitely deserve it.
I haven't cried in two years. I don't cry. Ever.
But this? This made me cry.
Absolutely brilliant job. I honestly truly hope it gets published.
you definitely deserve it.
11/6/2008 7:43 PM PST
I think that your writing is supurb, officially a complete knock-out! A jaw dropping, mind blowing experience that seems to keep you wanting more!
11/6/2008 7:21 PM PST
I just feel that this book is an ordinary teen book. That i guessed what would happened. Didnt keep me entertained. Sorry. Your writing style was good though.
11/6/2008 6:47 PM PST
I loved this story but im posting this comment here because I can't read on. Its not that i dont like ths story, i just dont do sad. Im in the middle of skool and im nearly crying.Lol. thats means u did a good job. besides i have a fairly educated guess on what happens. I'll keep my eye out ofr this in stores and ive been advising my friends to do likewhys, i are an AMAZING writer,
11/6/2008 6:30 PM PST
Hi,
I've been keeping an eye on the poles and on the works for which I voted. I've noticed that it is quite plain that the best works are receiving the most negative votes, simply because others feel their chances are threatened. There might even be some cross-negative voting, ie, your fans voting negatively on other books, so I thought you'd like to know the following. Please read it and let your fans know that they need not vote negatively to get your work published! i received this email from Melissa, the site coordinator after emailing her my thoughts and feelings about the negative vote.:
From: Melissa
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
James,
I've posted about this in the WEbook forums; check it out here: http://www.webook.com/forums/messageIndex.aspx?topic=cce7e374128946999b9c4baca1e2e360&fview=true
We did not anticipate the kind of negativity and unscrupulous voting that we've seen. We will likely not include negative votes in the final tally.
-- Melissa
-------- Original Message -------------
From: jamesbbrown
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
Hey Melissa! I am writing because, as I'm sure are many we-booker's, I'm concerned about the 'negative voting'. People are clearly just voting every project (other than their favorite) down without reading the material. This is really disappointing, and I am a little bewildered as to how this clearly inevitable outcome might not have been anticipated.
Is there any talk of eliminating this feature prior to the end of the election? This is becoming a really hostile process, and it seems clear that given the "negative voting" mechanism, the results of this voting process will be impossible to interpret.
How will you select the top 10%? What will determine that ranking from which you will select a work or works? The highest % positive will of course be books only voted on a few time. Will you ignore the negative votes at that point?
In any case, I just wanted to express my profound disappointment at this process. I would love to know to what purpose the negative voting information will be put, as I would sleep better at night. Right now my favorite webook books are getting crushed under the negative weight, and it is tragic.
-James
I've been keeping an eye on the poles and on the works for which I voted. I've noticed that it is quite plain that the best works are receiving the most negative votes, simply because others feel their chances are threatened. There might even be some cross-negative voting, ie, your fans voting negatively on other books, so I thought you'd like to know the following. Please read it and let your fans know that they need not vote negatively to get your work published! i received this email from Melissa, the site coordinator after emailing her my thoughts and feelings about the negative vote.:
From: Melissa
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
James,
I've posted about this in the WEbook forums; check it out here: http://www.webook.com/forums/messageIndex.aspx?topic=cce7e374128946999b9c4baca1e2e360&fview=true
We did not anticipate the kind of negativity and unscrupulous voting that we've seen. We will likely not include negative votes in the final tally.
-- Melissa
-------- Original Message -------------
From: jamesbbrown
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
Hey Melissa! I am writing because, as I'm sure are many we-booker's, I'm concerned about the 'negative voting'. People are clearly just voting every project (other than their favorite) down without reading the material. This is really disappointing, and I am a little bewildered as to how this clearly inevitable outcome might not have been anticipated.
Is there any talk of eliminating this feature prior to the end of the election? This is becoming a really hostile process, and it seems clear that given the "negative voting" mechanism, the results of this voting process will be impossible to interpret.
How will you select the top 10%? What will determine that ranking from which you will select a work or works? The highest % positive will of course be books only voted on a few time. Will you ignore the negative votes at that point?
In any case, I just wanted to express my profound disappointment at this process. I would love to know to what purpose the negative voting information will be put, as I would sleep better at night. Right now my favorite webook books are getting crushed under the negative weight, and it is tragic.
-James
11/6/2008 6:20 PM PST
You Rock HomeGirl...Keep Writing
11/6/2008 11:50 AM PST
This book is incredibly real and bluntly honest. Most importantly, it's relatable.
11/6/2008 9:32 AM PST
God - This book is so sad, it just gives me that feeling that says: This is a great book.
11/6/2008 8:24 AM PST
awesome i loved it!!! please read my book too its called "the girl that changed the world"
11/6/2008 5:04 AM PST
"ripping right through Zits and Baby Blues"
I love how you said these were the comics she ripped through. That's kind of where she is in life. Somewhere between zits and (possibly) baby blues.
Sheer brilliance!!
I love how you said these were the comics she ripped through. That's kind of where she is in life. Somewhere between zits and (possibly) baby blues.
Sheer brilliance!!
11/6/2008 4:48 AM PST
this is so omg territory!
11/6/2008 2:27 AM PST
I Really Really Want To See This Story Get Published
I'm A 15 yo and that is really good and impressive!!!
100/100
I'm A 15 yo and that is really good and impressive!!!
100/100
11/5/2008 11:29 PM PST
so realistic, but because of that its touching
and the title totally works with the theme of this book. i gotta see it published!
check out mine too ^-<
and the title totally works with the theme of this book. i gotta see it published!
check out mine too ^-<
11/5/2008 8:03 PM PST
I definitely loved this, voted for this. It's been a long time since a book kept me reading steadily throughout the day. Nothing is perfect, but I promise to buy a copy of Allison Wonderland when it's published. Awesome work!
11/5/2008 7:52 PM PST
Oh My God, i swear my jaw just dropped! I totally was not expecting that at all! lol.
11/5/2008 7:24 PM PST
Good job!
11/5/2008 6:35 PM PST
this book is amazing. this should definitely get published, and when it does, i will be the first one on line to buy it!!!!!!!
11/5/2008 6:32 PM PST
this book is AWESOME!!!! :)
11/5/2008 6:14 PM PST
you've written a beautiful story. It has great flow and a sense of reality about the lives of teens that i haven't found in a lot of published works. I loved it and finished it in an hour. Beautiful writing, realistic emotions, gripping climax. My only critique is that i wish Allison could've had a little more backbone. It makes her seem spineless when she follows jeremy so blindly and so fast. Nonetheless you'll be my first official webook vote. keep writing!
11/5/2008 6:03 PM PST
Definitely voted. Definitely going to buy it when published.
Loved it. Felt the conclusion was the perfect way to end it.
Loved it. Felt the conclusion was the perfect way to end it.
11/5/2008 5:20 PM PST
voted. It's really good. I have a childrens book that is up for vote called The Sturtles
11/5/2008 4:38 PM PST
Very well done. I was sucked right in and I enjoyed your writing style very much. Two thumbs up...
11/5/2008 2:21 PM PST
sorry i didn't have time to read all of it, but the bit i read is incredible! amazing! i absolutely love it. if it's published, i hope it comes out in england too - i'd love to read it. alice
11/5/2008 2:05 PM PST
oh and please give some contrutive crisitum to my stoires. i need some ideas too, if you have some. Lyla's Love are some of my older projects. Tell me what you think!
11/5/2008 2:03 PM PST
I love youre writing. Fantastic! Please leave a comment on my stories. Even though all mine are copies of larger peoples ideas. but i dont seem to mind them. please comment back! love the charachters in your stories. they feel so realistic.
11/5/2008 1:53 PM PST
your a good author but the story didnt realy catch my interest enough.
11/5/2008 1:22 PM PST
I love it, I sure hope it get's published, such a great story.
11/5/2008 12:23 PM PST
would definitely recommend for my teenager
11/5/2008 12:03 PM PST
very nice! love the story.
11/5/2008 11:16 AM PST
its not my type. just like the others
11/5/2008 10:25 AM PST
“Nah,” Jeremy said, inhaling. “Just didn’t come in until fourth period.” He took a final drag of the cigarette he had been smoking and stamped it out with his foot.
“Detention again?” I figured.
“Yup. For tardiness. Plus I said fuck you to the lady in the attendance office and that didn’t go over too well.” He dropped the cigarette butt on the floor and stomped it out.
(you just say he stamped out the cigarette twice)
I'm really enjoying this story...the diction, the style, the characters...I am definitely going to give it a thumbs up!!
Well-written!
“Detention again?” I figured.
“Yup. For tardiness. Plus I said fuck you to the lady in the attendance office and that didn’t go over too well.” He dropped the cigarette butt on the floor and stomped it out.
(you just say he stamped out the cigarette twice)
I'm really enjoying this story...the diction, the style, the characters...I am definitely going to give it a thumbs up!!
Well-written!
11/5/2008 10:24 AM PST
I loved it but there was one small mistake but i can't remmeber where it was now, sorry
11/5/2008 9:41 AM PST
I am praying for you!
Much Love,
Ashelin
Much Love,
Ashelin
11/5/2008 8:43 AM PST
I liked it from teh first sentance!
11/5/2008 8:36 AM PST
Would love to see it in print. You go girl!
11/5/2008 8:05 AM PST
I loved this story the moment I read it on fictionpress. I think it's a story that young adults will want to read! I hope it gets published!
11/5/2008 6:53 AM PST
Awesome.....
11/5/2008 5:16 AM PST
Voted!
11/5/2008 5:07 AM PST
a really good read it has got my vote...well done!
11/5/2008 4:56 AM PST
Hmmn...I'm speechless! I wish I can write something as good as this someday!
11/5/2008 4:55 AM PST
Hmmn... I'm speechless! I wish I can write something as good as someday!
11/5/2008 4:14 AM PST
Dang it, now I can't stop reading.
11/5/2008 3:37 AM PST
You've got my vote of approval! I enjoyed what I read so far and I would like to see your book get published!
Best of luck to you!
Best of luck to you!
11/4/2008 9:57 PM PST
I think this is surely a book I'd tell friends about. *thumbs up* good work
11/4/2008 9:48 PM PST
Clearly one of the best stories I've ever read. This deserves to be published. Good luck with everything.
11/4/2008 9:25 PM PST
very nice
11/4/2008 8:38 PM PST
It was interesting, a little dark but still okay. Good luck!
11/4/2008 8:30 PM PST
get my vote
11/4/2008 8:28 PM PST
This is an awsome story! Whenever someone askes my my fav book I'll be like 'Allison Wonderland'!
11/4/2008 7:21 PM PST
Good luck, hold onto your dream.
11/4/2008 7:10 PM PST
Very good story to put into publication. Good Luck!
11/4/2008 6:40 PM PST
sounds like a good book. Good luck!
11/4/2008 6:20 PM PST
i can't wait to read this in print.
11/4/2008 5:54 PM PST
I feel this book will do great in publication
11/4/2008 5:06 PM PST
Good job! Good luck, you've got my vote. :)
11/4/2008 4:07 PM PST
In a word, "Excellent".
11/4/2008 4:01 PM PST
Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Publish! Click!
11/4/2008 3:55 PM PST
Excellent, excellent, really enjoyed what I have read so far.
11/4/2008 3:51 PM PST
great story. looking forward to its publication. good luck.
11/4/2008 3:49 PM PST
Incredible
11/4/2008 3:46 PM PST
I really(!!) enjoyed reading this.
11/4/2008 2:53 PM PST
Good luck with this, hope you do get it published!
Enjoyed this on fictionpress, and hopefully I can get it in book-form soon!
Enjoyed this on fictionpress, and hopefully I can get it in book-form soon!
11/4/2008 2:46 PM PST
HELL YEAH!
11/4/2008 2:39 PM PST
I would love to see this published!
11/4/2008 2:39 PM PST
I will be seriously PO'd if this is not published.
11/4/2008 2:33 PM PST
Totally needs to be published!
11/4/2008 1:59 PM PST
I loved this tale is wonderful and I think it depicts very acurate what being a teenager can be. Hun I really hope that your book gets published is a wonderfull work! (liliontheurbanfairy)
11/4/2008 1:55 PM PST
great job
11/4/2008 1:54 PM PST
great work.
11/4/2008 1:43 PM PST
Still love this story so much... it needs to be published!
11/4/2008 1:11 PM PST
I hope it gets published!!!
11/4/2008 1:11 PM PST
Good Luck!!!!
I can't wait for this to get published!
I can't wait for this to get published!
11/4/2008 1:09 PM PST
Good Luck! I luv your book and really hope it gets published!
11/4/2008 12:59 PM PST
GOODLUCK!!!
11/4/2008 12:52 PM PST
A reviewer from FP. Good luck, Diana.
11/4/2008 12:49 PM PST
fantastic job, cant wait to see the finished product on the shelves.... must team up with you sometime!! lol
11/4/2008 12:01 PM PST
My favorite fictionpress story of all time =D best of luck !
11/4/2008 11:46 AM PST
Amazing!!! You are so talented and deserve to be published. Good luck!
11/4/2008 11:37 AM PST
You have a great voice. I hope you've got years more writing ahead of you, because I think you'll just get better and better.
Thumbs up for me.
Thumbs up for me.
11/4/2008 11:05 AM PST
Diana I really really hope you win!!
11/4/2008 10:59 AM PST
Diana! I love this! You have so much talent and I wish the best for you. I definately will be passing this on to others to vote as well. Congrats!
11/4/2008 10:58 AM PST
Love it. Can't wait to purchase this book and finish the chapters.
11/4/2008 10:47 AM PST
Diana,
More power to you! Wishing you lots of luck. Hope Allison Wonderland gets published. I will definitely buy a copy (or two or three). Such talent!
More power to you! Wishing you lots of luck. Hope Allison Wonderland gets published. I will definitely buy a copy (or two or three). Such talent!
11/4/2008 10:29 AM PST
love it!!!!
11/4/2008 10:10 AM PST
Good Luck!!!
11/4/2008 9:55 AM PST
This story is by far one of the best ones that i have read on Fictionpress and it inspired me. It is an amazing story and is worthy of being published. :]
11/4/2008 9:39 AM PST
I've read the first three chapters before. Very nice. Good luck!
11/4/2008 9:05 AM PST
One of the best works I've ever read.
11/4/2008 9:04 AM PST
<3
11/4/2008 8:59 AM PST
You have a very rich voice and a bright future. Thumb's up!
11/4/2008 8:39 AM PST
cool
11/4/2008 8:36 AM PST
One of the best stories I've read on fictionpress, and one that inspired me to write myself. She's definitely worthy of publication.
11/4/2008 8:26 AM PST
One of the best stories i've seen on fiction press in the last 3 years.
11/4/2008 8:15 AM PST
Awesome!
11/4/2008 8:11 AM PST
Here is my vote, hope all goes your way. The chapters I read are great, can't wait to see it on the shelves in Borders.
11/4/2008 8:00 AM PST
Can't wait to read your book
11/4/2008 8:00 AM PST
This is absolutely wonderful! Teens need to be encouraged to read more and books like this will hopefully inspire them to do so.
11/4/2008 7:59 AM PST
It looks wonderful. It's obvious that a lot of dedication, time and hard work was needed to produce this story. Good luck!
11/4/2008 7:55 AM PST
Your book looks like a great read - hope it gets published!
11/4/2008 7:49 AM PST
I can't wait to read it!
11/4/2008 7:46 AM PST
Everyone who votes for this gets an autographed copy when it's published right?
11/4/2008 7:36 AM PST
I hope you get published and when you do, I will purchase your novel. I will pass along to my teenage daughter and her friends.
YB at MLGB
YB at MLGB
11/4/2008 7:33 AM PST
Good stuff, I'm impressed. Can't wait to see it on a bookshelf.
11/4/2008 7:26 AM PST
If worn out, seasoned writers can get another of the same type of book published every 6 months, we surely can vote in a talented newcomer for a generation that really doesn't care about middle aged who-done-its.
Lets change on multi levels.
Lets change on multi levels.
11/4/2008 7:18 AM PST
Voted! Fingers crossed now and hopefully in some time we'll see Allison Wonderland flying off bookstores! ;) Good luck!
11/4/2008 7:17 AM PST
Yea! Go Diana!!
11/4/2008 7:09 AM PST
I believe that Ms. DianaChristine has a gift for writing. I thoroughly enjoyed her writing. I am not part of this generation, but it brought me back and also had me relate on another level than the teen genre.
11/4/2008 7:06 AM PST
I absolutly love this book! I've read it multiple times and i believe that every teenager needs to read it. I miss you Diana!
11/4/2008 7:00 AM PST
I hope you get published!
11/4/2008 6:45 AM PST
I'm gonna buy a copy when it gets published :) best of luck!
11/4/2008 6:45 AM PST
Allison Wonderland must be published! Clearly the most important vote you can cast on election day.
11/4/2008 6:00 AM PST
This was one of the best Mature teen short stories I've read.
11/4/2008 5:47 AM PST
This is an amazing story and you are truly talented!! You absolutely deserve to get published!!!
11/3/2008 2:27 PM PST
WOW!!! i already told you but this story is amazing!!!!
10/28/2008 8:51 PM PDT
This looks really good, I'll read it when I have time. Wow that sounded kinda rude but I am busy
10/27/2008 7:13 PM PDT
I love this book and I love Diana. =)
10/27/2008 8:49 AM PDT
Hello! I'll try to re-read Allison when I have the time. Can't wait till Nov 04! Good luck!
10/22/2008 6:46 PM PDT
I also came from fictionpress and these fingers are ready to vote on Nov 4th! I really wish you luck and hope that this gets published. It really deserves it. Not to mention, it's one of my favourite books of all time, so... I'm really rooting for you! :)
10/22/2008 5:17 AM PDT
I read your story on Fictionpress.com not to long ago, and I hope it gets published! I'm going to vote...as soon as I figure out how to work this site ;).
10/22/2008 12:54 AM PDT
awww i loved this story on fictionpress. it was a very moving story and i would love to see this published. i will vote for you and really hope many others will
xxx
xxx
10/21/2008 6:59 PM PDT
hey there. i'm voting on this. just wanted to leave a comment on here so i'd be able to find it again. great job and good luck
10/20/2008 6:19 PM PDT
I came here from fictionpress so I can vote for you! I loved Allison Wonderland, I read it a lot and I've read a bunch of your stories! I hope you get published, I'm voting for you!
10/11/2008 3:51 PM PDT
I ready your story on fictionpress and i just wanted to let you know that i'm voting and i'll hopefully get my other friends to realy your story and vot for it too and get it published
10/3/2008 10:38 PM PDT
woah. i finally found it! well actually learned how to use this website. now i just have to look for the vote button. this story needs to get published man
10/2/2008 9:22 PM PDT
I read your story on fictionpress and I just wanted to let you know that I will vote for your story, because it deseves to be published, and I would love a copy when you become famous.
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