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Teen -
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Blake
I suddenly felt a cold rush on my back, I stalled for a few seconds. I felt like a deer in headlights, but why? I spun my body around. I jolted when I saw a boy standing so close to me. His black hair was in his eyes a bit. He wore a dark green shirt with dark jeans.
GIVE FEEDBACK
9/30/2010 1:56 AM PDT
I want to read this my friend told me about it and I'll get to it as soon as I can xx
1/11/2010 7:58 PM PST
Fictionally kewl
12/1/2009 5:16 PM PST
WILL READ SOON! I FREAKING PROMISE! im just slammed with homework right now and shouldn't even be on webook lol but here i am.
BYE!
BYE!
10/25/2009 11:38 PM PDT
omg
7/10/2009 6:43 PM PDT
Sounds like a good read.
6/5/2009 4:31 AM PDT
Weed Killer & Development Research
By: Sam Prosser & Liz Havenaar
Problem: Weeds, (dandelions being most common) infest lawns and gardens. Many people result to using unsafe and non-friendly products to rid the weeds, our goal is to find an eco-friendly formula that will kill all weeds safely.
Hypothesis: We predict all products we use will stimulate growth of the dandelions for we chose products that have high acidity levels or carried germ-fighting molecules. Never the less we have high hopes that Vinegar will successes most efficiently and in the quickest time due to it‘s abundance of high acid. Next we predict Lemon Juice to work second best because lemon is used in many house hold cleaning products. We believe if it can kill germs on any surface it can kill a living organism if we apply enough of it. Salt Water is second last because it does not contain as much acid as Vinegar and Lemon Juice, but the reason on why we chose it is because salt is used to melt thick, frozen ice during winter, meaning it may be able to spread through the weed and damage it‘s reproductive system. Last and not least is Sam + Liz’s Mix, we have least hope for this. We want this product to work because it’s very affordable and found in households. This formula may work because it is a germ killing formula, but it may not be strong enough to kill a weed that can spread faster than the product can effect it.
Materials: *paper *pencil/pen *formula’s *string *ruler *camera *goggles *thermometer *gloves
Safety Precautions:
We must be wearing protective eye-wear, masks and gloves when dealing with sprays
Being careful & cautious when handling with sprays
Having someone with you in case of an emergency
Procedure:
Mark off a 1m² area into four dividers with string (Do twice for separate testing)
Mark each square accordingly to spray
Place spray, gloves, goggles, camera, thermometer, paper, pencils inside the back shed for next use.
Everyday procedure:
Apply spray 3 times per dandelion (1 on bud, 2 on roots) for efficiency
Observe/Measure weeds & area
Record appearance & procedure
Take photos
Refill bottles when needed
Results: We expected that Vinegar would produce the best results for the fastest killing formula. Lemon Juice in second, Salt Water in third and Sam + Liz’s Mix in last place. The results are as followed…
Lemon Juice: Test #1- died in 4 days
Test #2- died in 6 days
Average of 5 days
Salt Water: Test #1- died in 5 days
Test #2- died in 4 days
Average of 4.5 days
Vinegar: Test #1- died in 4 days
Test #2- died in 4 days
Average of 4 days
Sam + Liz’s Mix: Test #1- died in 4 days
Test #2- died in 5 days
Average of 4.5 days
Conclusion: Vinegar produced best results for time management, as predicted. Vinegar beat Salt water and Sam + Liz’s Mix (that tied in second) by 0.5 days. Lemon Juice did the worst with an average of 5 days, which isn’t long at all. Some factors that worried me where during Test #1 when Vinegar killed the weeds way faster than all the rest, than a patch of dead weeds and grass was found in Vinegar‘s area. We were worried that maybe animal urine killed the weeds instead of the formula because we can‘t control what goes on with the weeds at night time. Also an other factor was time, it was a huge part in killing the dandelions. Although the spray did stop seeds from sprucing which will prevent the dandelions from over populating and producing more weeds, it didn‘t kill the steam of the weed. If you stop the seeds from forming you can rid your lawn of new weeds, and wait till the stems of the old ones to die and decompose. Although these formulas can’t stop seeds that get flown in from the wind and begin germinating on your lawn, you can kill them when they grow. And you can do it fast and environment friendly with any of these sprays.
Dandelion facts:
Animal urine kills weeds (and grass, be careful) in hours… If you’re willing to try that.
Dandelions are Taproots, meaning they have a large tapering main root that has only slender, short side branches. They are able to push deep down into the soil to reach water. This is why they are so hard to kill.
By: Sam Prosser & Liz Havenaar
Problem: Weeds, (dandelions being most common) infest lawns and gardens. Many people result to using unsafe and non-friendly products to rid the weeds, our goal is to find an eco-friendly formula that will kill all weeds safely.
Hypothesis: We predict all products we use will stimulate growth of the dandelions for we chose products that have high acidity levels or carried germ-fighting molecules. Never the less we have high hopes that Vinegar will successes most efficiently and in the quickest time due to it‘s abundance of high acid. Next we predict Lemon Juice to work second best because lemon is used in many house hold cleaning products. We believe if it can kill germs on any surface it can kill a living organism if we apply enough of it. Salt Water is second last because it does not contain as much acid as Vinegar and Lemon Juice, but the reason on why we chose it is because salt is used to melt thick, frozen ice during winter, meaning it may be able to spread through the weed and damage it‘s reproductive system. Last and not least is Sam + Liz’s Mix, we have least hope for this. We want this product to work because it’s very affordable and found in households. This formula may work because it is a germ killing formula, but it may not be strong enough to kill a weed that can spread faster than the product can effect it.
Materials: *paper *pencil/pen *formula’s *string *ruler *camera *goggles *thermometer *gloves
Safety Precautions:
We must be wearing protective eye-wear, masks and gloves when dealing with sprays
Being careful & cautious when handling with sprays
Having someone with you in case of an emergency
Procedure:
Mark off a 1m² area into four dividers with string (Do twice for separate testing)
Mark each square accordingly to spray
Place spray, gloves, goggles, camera, thermometer, paper, pencils inside the back shed for next use.
Everyday procedure:
Apply spray 3 times per dandelion (1 on bud, 2 on roots) for efficiency
Observe/Measure weeds & area
Record appearance & procedure
Take photos
Refill bottles when needed
Results: We expected that Vinegar would produce the best results for the fastest killing formula. Lemon Juice in second, Salt Water in third and Sam + Liz’s Mix in last place. The results are as followed…
Lemon Juice: Test #1- died in 4 days
Test #2- died in 6 days
Average of 5 days
Salt Water: Test #1- died in 5 days
Test #2- died in 4 days
Average of 4.5 days
Vinegar: Test #1- died in 4 days
Test #2- died in 4 days
Average of 4 days
Sam + Liz’s Mix: Test #1- died in 4 days
Test #2- died in 5 days
Average of 4.5 days
Conclusion: Vinegar produced best results for time management, as predicted. Vinegar beat Salt water and Sam + Liz’s Mix (that tied in second) by 0.5 days. Lemon Juice did the worst with an average of 5 days, which isn’t long at all. Some factors that worried me where during Test #1 when Vinegar killed the weeds way faster than all the rest, than a patch of dead weeds and grass was found in Vinegar‘s area. We were worried that maybe animal urine killed the weeds instead of the formula because we can‘t control what goes on with the weeds at night time. Also an other factor was time, it was a huge part in killing the dandelions. Although the spray did stop seeds from sprucing which will prevent the dandelions from over populating and producing more weeds, it didn‘t kill the steam of the weed. If you stop the seeds from forming you can rid your lawn of new weeds, and wait till the stems of the old ones to die and decompose. Although these formulas can’t stop seeds that get flown in from the wind and begin germinating on your lawn, you can kill them when they grow. And you can do it fast and environment friendly with any of these sprays.
Dandelion facts:
Animal urine kills weeds (and grass, be careful) in hours… If you’re willing to try that.
Dandelions are Taproots, meaning they have a large tapering main root that has only slender, short side branches. They are able to push deep down into the soil to reach water. This is why they are so hard to kill.
4/21/2009 1:38 PM PDT
ive read your story like two or three times lol i absolutely love it! i cant believe it didnt get published!!! it definitely shouldve!! i think this book is much better than twilight and i like your writing style a lot more than meyer's! and yes, i am a twilight fan. lol. good luck getting it published!!!
4/6/2009 2:51 PM PDT
Wait, if there's a sequel to this story then isn't it done? You should have submitted it for the voting.
3/28/2009 2:29 PM PDT
the vampire epidemic is getting to you! ahh!
:)
:)
3/28/2009 2:29 PM PDT
wowie!!!!!!! so many comments!!! sounds good, good luck with it hehe :)
3/25/2009 10:56 PM PDT
oh my fcuking gollygosh look at all those comments!!!!!!!!!
sounds good by the way lol
sounds good by the way lol
3/18/2009 8:18 PM PDT
wow!
2/15/2009 8:35 PM PST
awsome
2/11/2009 9:17 AM PST
Sounds Good!
1/30/2009 3:57 PM PST
sounds cool.
1/11/2009 8:00 AM PST
Its interesting but fast-paced
1/2/2009 7:41 PM PST
Love it XD, keep on going with the novel
12/29/2008 4:06 PM PST
can't wait to read
12/27/2008 4:30 PM PST
sound wayyyy exciting
12/27/2008 2:54 PM PST
sounds good so far
12/24/2008 11:04 AM PST
this looks really good, even though lately there had been too many stories of vampires
12/23/2008 4:22 PM PST
this looks cool
12/20/2008 7:04 AM PST
this would be a top seller!
12/17/2008 3:12 PM PST
Stephanie Meyers better watch her back, cuz Billa is coming and biting the industry with bloodthirsty novels!
This Feedback was...
11/29/2008 3:04 PM PST
OMG. This is lame! You were so close into beomcing published! Man, that sucks. -_- Good try though. Your story rocks. :]
11/29/2008 10:57 AM PST
i read the whole thing and i was amazed on how u can write i wish i could write like that im still trying to figure out how to start writing my story on this sight.
11/28/2008 9:53 AM PST
i love it so much wish i could read the whole thing it me up when its done.
11/26/2008 10:53 AM PST
IT'S A GREAT START IT IS DEFANTLY BETTER THAN MINE ! ...
11/22/2008 9:49 PM PST
Good Day
I hope that you - being one of the 25 who were supposed to be included as one of the winners of the vote process will complain - there were 540 projects in the competition - 54 were supposed to be chosen but webook took less than half in order to cut their work load. They told me that they chose ten percent of the projects which received more than 10 votes.
I hope you will let them know, just as i have, what you think of their unethical behavior.
I hope that you - being one of the 25 who were supposed to be included as one of the winners of the vote process will complain - there were 540 projects in the competition - 54 were supposed to be chosen but webook took less than half in order to cut their work load. They told me that they chose ten percent of the projects which received more than 10 votes.
I hope you will let them know, just as i have, what you think of their unethical behavior.
11/18/2008 9:14 PM PST
loved it
11/17/2008 5:07 PM PST
Good luck, I like it .
11/17/2008 4:49 PM PST
Hmmm...I think there is a lot of work to be done. Like seperating your dialouge and stuff. I say maybe.
11/15/2008 4:23 PM PST
Book two : Gage.. check it out!:)
11/14/2008 3:29 PM PST
Definitely got my vote!
11/14/2008 2:35 PM PST
I need more. OMG!!! MORE!!! Please!!!
11/13/2008 3:24 PM PST
okay, you need an editor bigtime. theres SOOO many mistakes in there, but that can be fixed real easily. just get a few people to proofread and fix up the errors.
other than that, the story is AMAZING!!! you're an amazing writer! the story is very original (aside from the twilight series, of course, but this story is very different from that!) i think you should keep writing the story! make a sequel, i guess!
if the book gets published, im definitely buying a copy though! good luck!
other than that, the story is AMAZING!!! you're an amazing writer! the story is very original (aside from the twilight series, of course, but this story is very different from that!) i think you should keep writing the story! make a sequel, i guess!
if the book gets published, im definitely buying a copy though! good luck!
11/13/2008 6:12 AM PST
GOOD LUCK BABE :)
11/12/2008 11:25 PM PST
I love you tahrasep, you are wonderful. And such good advice!
Definitely try reading aloud, you don't even need an audience. It will help you find your voice. If it sounds inauthentic and trite in the mirror, it'll read the same to your audience.
Presumably you have read other novels, so perhaps that hasn't helped? I'd say try the 'reading aloud' thing there to: read the works of others aloud, and try to pick authors with voices you perceive to be similar to your own. Try to note elements of fundamental quality that make work readable. e.g. authenticity and flow.
Definitely try reading aloud, you don't even need an audience. It will help you find your voice. If it sounds inauthentic and trite in the mirror, it'll read the same to your audience.
Presumably you have read other novels, so perhaps that hasn't helped? I'd say try the 'reading aloud' thing there to: read the works of others aloud, and try to pick authors with voices you perceive to be similar to your own. Try to note elements of fundamental quality that make work readable. e.g. authenticity and flow.
11/12/2008 9:46 PM PST
You have good idea about what you want to write, but I think you need a bit more sentence variation and brush up on the grammar. You tend to jump from tense to tense a lot. And a lot of sentences weren't really sentences. Don't get me wrong, I like it and I think that you have a great story in mind.
11/12/2008 7:34 AM PST
cool. vote.
11/11/2008 10:21 PM PST
Got my vote, go for it!
11/11/2008 3:25 PM PST
it's genusness but a little confusing during the slautering parts totally original though!
11/8/2008 10:43 AM PST
Nowhere near developed enough. You clearly have the idea, but the execution is rather elementary. Read your work out loud and get into a POV immediately so we can be shown and not told. Read other novels and study how the author introduces their plot and characters. Then, see what parts you liked the best and start applying it into your own writing.
Keep rewriting this until it reaches full potential!
Keep rewriting this until it reaches full potential!
11/8/2008 7:14 AM PST
Yeah, it's a great story but it does need editing.
11/7/2008 10:11 PM PST
I agree, it needs some editing. There 's quite a few times where a word is used more than once or little weird things here and there.
11/7/2008 6:59 PM PST
How many Vampire books are on this site?
11/7/2008 6:43 PM PST
You have a good story here,but there is a lot of editing that has to be done. Good luck with the voting.
11/7/2008 6:19 PM PST
After reading even further, I have to say that not a lot of thought was put into the context. I love the idea, but the wording just seems so... elementary. If you would like, I would be more than happy to edit your story, then show you what it would look like then. You would still get full credit for your work, because after all it is your story, only it would be a thousand times more effective. So contact me at dontilookpretty@hotmail.com if you like the idea. Thanks for the consideration! I look forward to working with you to create a perfectly tailored final product.
11/7/2008 6:03 PM PST
fabulous work!
11/7/2008 4:16 PM PST
I find it hard to follow because of the fact that there really isn't much sentence variation. Also, grammatical errors do kind of take away from the story. If you improve this, the story more easily grasp the reader's attention.
11/7/2008 12:49 PM PST
A great Vampire story with a difference, well worth a read
11/7/2008 10:55 AM PST
tres bon!
ps. im not actually french.
ps. im not actually french.
11/7/2008 10:51 AM PST
yes a vote from THEE
11/7/2008 10:47 AM PST
Wow that was actually really good.
I read the twilight series and loved it.
This book is similar to it. But great :)
I read the twilight series and loved it.
This book is similar to it. But great :)
11/7/2008 8:07 AM PST
This doesn't really read that well. I think that's partly because of the way the text is laid out and partly because of the language; there is virtually no sentence variation.
Sorry for the bad comment...
-Dai
Sorry for the bad comment...
-Dai
11/6/2008 10:54 PM PST
I liked the story a lot!!! I just wish you would remove the cuss words. Otherwise it was excellent. Great work!
11/6/2008 9:22 PM PST
unreadable. It's got too many disagreements between tenses, too many punctuation errors, and to be honest, it's just not that interesting. Sorry, but it's an honest opinion
11/6/2008 8:38 PM PST
pretty intence keep going
11/6/2008 7:37 PM PST
Hi,
I've been keeping an eye on the poles and on the works for which I voted. I've noticed that it is quite plain that the best works are receiving the most negative votes, simply because others feel their chances are threatened. There might even be some cross-negative voting, ie, your fans voting negatively on other books, so I thought you'd like to know the following. Please read it and let your fans know that they need not vote negatively to get your work published! i received this email from Melissa, the site coordinator after emailing her my thoughts and feelings about the negative vote.:
From: Melissa
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
James,
I've posted about this in the WEbook forums; check it out here: http://www.webook.com/forums/messageIndex.aspx?topic=cce7e374128946999b9c4baca1e2e360&fview=true
We did not anticipate the kind of negativity and unscrupulous voting that we've seen. We will likely not include negative votes in the final tally.
-- Melissa
-------- Original Message -------------
From: jamesbbrown
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
Hey Melissa! I am writing because, as I'm sure are many we-booker's, I'm concerned about the 'negative voting'. People are clearly just voting every project (other than their favorite) down without reading the material. This is really disappointing, and I am a little bewildered as to how this clearly inevitable outcome might not have been anticipated.
Is there any talk of eliminating this feature prior to the end of the election? This is becoming a really hostile process, and it seems clear that given the "negative voting" mechanism, the results of this voting process will be impossible to interpret.
How will you select the top 10%? What will determine that ranking from which you will select a work or works? The highest % positive will of course be books only voted on a few time. Will you ignore the negative votes at that point?
In any case, I just wanted to express my profound disappointment at this process. I would love to know to what purpose the negative voting information will be put, as I would sleep better at night. Right now my favorite webook books are getting crushed under the negative weight, and it is tragic.
-James
I've been keeping an eye on the poles and on the works for which I voted. I've noticed that it is quite plain that the best works are receiving the most negative votes, simply because others feel their chances are threatened. There might even be some cross-negative voting, ie, your fans voting negatively on other books, so I thought you'd like to know the following. Please read it and let your fans know that they need not vote negatively to get your work published! i received this email from Melissa, the site coordinator after emailing her my thoughts and feelings about the negative vote.:
From: Melissa
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
James,
I've posted about this in the WEbook forums; check it out here: http://www.webook.com/forums/messageIndex.aspx?topic=cce7e374128946999b9c4baca1e2e360&fview=true
We did not anticipate the kind of negativity and unscrupulous voting that we've seen. We will likely not include negative votes in the final tally.
-- Melissa
-------- Original Message -------------
From: jamesbbrown
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
Hey Melissa! I am writing because, as I'm sure are many we-booker's, I'm concerned about the 'negative voting'. People are clearly just voting every project (other than their favorite) down without reading the material. This is really disappointing, and I am a little bewildered as to how this clearly inevitable outcome might not have been anticipated.
Is there any talk of eliminating this feature prior to the end of the election? This is becoming a really hostile process, and it seems clear that given the "negative voting" mechanism, the results of this voting process will be impossible to interpret.
How will you select the top 10%? What will determine that ranking from which you will select a work or works? The highest % positive will of course be books only voted on a few time. Will you ignore the negative votes at that point?
In any case, I just wanted to express my profound disappointment at this process. I would love to know to what purpose the negative voting information will be put, as I would sleep better at night. Right now my favorite webook books are getting crushed under the negative weight, and it is tragic.
-James
11/6/2008 4:59 PM PST
Good one!
11/6/2008 1:42 PM PST
Is there a second one? Pls msg me
11/5/2008 7:01 PM PST
very good i liked it alot keep up the good work
11/5/2008 5:06 PM PST
I like it
11/5/2008 1:59 PM PST
Someone asked me if they could make a multiple account & keep voting for my book.. dont! & don't do it to others. I went to an other book on here and i suspect that that person was doing it for their own.. names such as "Apple." & common names all saying good luck around the same time & their profiles have nothing on them.. I feel like that person is cheating so please don't do it! I got so angry with the person i didn't bother voting publish or not at all. I want this to be fair. If i win.. i win.. if i don't.. i have the rest of my life to write a new book.
11/5/2008 12:55 PM PST
You're gonna win for sure. ^_^
11/5/2008 12:32 PM PST
Glad to see you've entered - noticed a spelling mistake on the last part tho. Great job lol
11/5/2008 11:28 AM PST
cant wait for the next one!!!!
11/5/2008 11:25 AM PST
woah. thats all i have to say!
11/5/2008 11:23 AM PST
seriously the best book ive ever read
11/5/2008 11:19 AM PST
publish it:)
11/5/2008 11:14 AM PST
this book is beautiful
11/4/2008 4:59 PM PST
I think this is really good. There is just some grammar and spelling mistakes. And I think that although it has some similarities to Twilight I think that another Vampire story would be great. Can't wait to see the outcome. Good Luck!
11/4/2008 4:54 PM PST
OMG I LOVE THIS BOOK U have to write another about Blake!!!!!!!!!
11/4/2008 4:11 PM PST
I love Vampires this just another great book about them
11/4/2008 3:18 PM PST
I dont see any similarities between Blake and Twilight besides the Vampires. It still needs alot of revision. However, once done I believe it will be up to par with other Vampire books. Keep up the work
11/4/2008 3:06 PM PST
yet another vampire book.
*sigh*
*sigh*
11/4/2008 3:03 PM PST
brave to go after a story similar to Twilight but I think you've pulled it off and there is never a shortage of love for vampire stories in the public's eye.
11/4/2008 3:01 PM PST
omg i loved it! seriously touched me!
ps: bring back camerendan!
ps: bring back camerendan!
11/4/2008 2:32 PM PST
this is good. this is very good.
you diverse to have it published.
you diverse to have it published.
11/4/2008 2:19 PM PST
Thumbs up and I don't usually like this type of story....great job!
11/4/2008 2:07 PM PST
Ahh!! you soo need this book published!!
11/4/2008 12:36 PM PST
theeee beeesssttttt booookkkk eeeevvvveeeeerrrrrr
11/4/2008 12:35 PM PST
Thumbs up. ^_^ You have my vote.
11/2/2008 1:51 PM PST
Kicks Twilight BUTT!
10/30/2008 12:10 AM PDT
I am absolutely in love with your book
10/5/2008 3:55 PM PDT
write gage pls, i need to read on. the books must countinue
by the way im reading this for the 2nd time! hehe its just so good i cant get away from your writing!
by the way im reading this for the 2nd time! hehe its just so good i cant get away from your writing!
9/9/2008 7:36 PM PDT
Sounds super cool.
9/7/2008 4:22 PM PDT
OMG, I've read wats there but is there more......?
Its captivating, Please write more....
lovee ya
Bree
Its captivating, Please write more....
lovee ya
Bree
9/7/2008 7:47 AM PDT
Oooo this sounds exciting!!!!!!!!!
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