I could only read about three paragraphs of the first chapter before I shot myself in the head. This is the worst thing I've ever read in my life. Definitely don't quit your day job.

I will read this soon sounds great!

I think I will certainly like this!!! ;)

it seems good but i think proof reading would help... dont worry ive been in this possisision before you DO have potential you should keep going your doing great

if you want you can look at my book "love, loss, fangs" i just started so its not TO far along but you should.. i will work on it once a day so theres always more :)

General:
i think that this book is really good, i like bree she is sassy and not your average teenager.

Plot:
i think your plot at first is a bit vague but further in the story it blossoms.

Character Development:
the characters are not too complicated and easy to admire and relate too.

Structure:
the structure is not bad at all and the romance parts aren't too corny

Tone/Voice:
i think the personality really shows through the speech.

See what happens when you don't proofread yourself? I totally misspelled "grammar"!! :)

Probably the most important thing you can do as a writer, is to make sure your work is as polished as it can be. There is a potentially good story in here, but is hard to find, with all the distractions of misspelled words, grammer, and punctuation mistakes. If you went back and cleaned it up, I belive you would have more people interested in it, and I would give it another try. Also, your characters tend to be a little talky. I understand that you want to get certain things across in the story, but some of it seems repetitive. For example, at the beginning when your heroine is introducing herself, she keeps repeating her name. Okay, we get her name is Brianna and goes by Bree. But her name is repeated four times. The best advice on writing I've ever recieved, is when you are finished with a peice, read it out loud to yourself. If it sounds like it makes sense and flows well, then submit it. Good luck!

Yikes. This was about as poorly written, poorly planned a piece of literature as I have ever encountered in my life. The grammar and punctuation was atrocious; the exposition and plot development was an embarrassment. I hope you haven't quit your day job yet, because this was absolutely awful. I mean, really? "Different" girl who's never loved before meets the "new boy next door" who happens to be handsome and troubled and falls in love with him? I really don't think you could possibly have come up with a more cliche plot. The quality of writing in this story, after having read half of the first chapter, was bad enough to make a mentally-challenged third grader blush.

There are a lot of typos. The story plot is great, but just clean it up a bit; it would sound even better without the spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes. :)

Plot:
I like the idea, but am wondering if Brianna has such a hard time with trust, how Theo, with his dark past, wins her over so solidly.

The story`s gonna be great, no doubt in my mind about that! You only need to work on punctuation. But trust me, it`ll be a good story.

Good story line, but needs editing.  Too many run on sentences, and spell check :)  It does make it a little difficult to read.  But I do think the story has potential.  Good Luck and keep the pen flowing ;)

Check punctuation and run-on sentences. The mechanical problems cover anything yummy in the story. It's too hard to read. Good luck.

I love the pic :)

I would sugest that you describe Theo's past a little less. Make it mysteriouse. But how would I know I'm only 13

Plot:
The plot seems well thought out and very good for a romance, but will it be like others or does it have something to make it special?

love the pic <3

i really like the idea it sounds really good

that's really good i would like to see more from you.

Sounds intresting!!!!

ooo, forbidden love. interesting.

Sounds cool

only one thing to say...my name is Brianna and its spelt like that and my friends and family nickname for me is Bree...lol cant wait to read the book.

it looks interesting. i will start reading it and let you know how is going. :))

:D!!!!! i read this saturday night and loved it so far!!!! thnx for the invite

Haha, I bet they'll do things secretly. :D

Great...I might give a crack at this....

I'm SO reading this!