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Project Leader:
Shadow_Prince
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The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
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Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Urban
Romance -
Language:
English
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DemoniK: First Year
Jack Sharp is 16 And Going crazy, He had a very normal childhood nothing special, he failed Grade & so how did he make it into ShadowVale
GIVE FEEDBACK
1/10/2012 1:20 PM PST
Structure:
It's like all your thoughts were one extended one. There weren't any proper sentences or explanation or description.
Lots of character speech but needs some narrative as well. I think if you take some of your info from "Jack Sharp is an EMO kid..." then that would restore the balance of dialogue and description.
It's like all your thoughts were one extended one. There weren't any proper sentences or explanation or description.
Lots of character speech but needs some narrative as well. I think if you take some of your info from "Jack Sharp is an EMO kid..." then that would restore the balance of dialogue and description.
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