Book Info

Project Leader:
Aniytlia
Participants:
The WEbook community
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only
Category:
Fiction
Genre:
Teen
Sci Fi/Fantasy
Language:
English

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Draconian

Try to breathe Vira, they only want to kill you.

Vira. A dear friend of mine, beaten and abused ever since her mother tried to kill her in her sleep one fateful night so long ago. Her entire family deserted her and left her to fend on her own in the streets when everyone know what she is.
Everyone knows what she is.

If you're smart you'd turn back now, you wouldn't read this. I don't even know why Kail forces me to tell my story, I don't even know why she's forcing me to warn you human's about anything. - Vira.

C'mon Vira, you know th ... more »

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Earlier Feedback

EmeraldTiger

5/10/2009 11:24 AM PDT

i very much enjoyed your book ( i read the whole thing). however, if I may make a suggestion? Although it has a definite point/significance in the story, it's a little repetative when Deon gets abused by the draconians since that had already happened to Vira. It was still very interesting and all, but maybe you could alter it slightly so its not as repetative? Apart from that, I loved your book. It has a very unique tone to it. :)

dragonriderkc

5/5/2009 5:26 PM PDT

It's great!

whatteverr

5/5/2009 4:56 AM PDT

really really good...
eventhough first i thought that the girl was a lil pathatic,but then you get used to it while you read on,so it was kinda nice reading so thanx 2 that one...

Silverlacewing

4/20/2009 12:04 PM PDT

This is brilliant

joanne_of_frank

4/20/2009 8:23 AM PDT

You've tapped into a popular theme...
This ought to do well...Publish...and...

WRITE ON...!

zygoncurry

4/20/2009 4:34 AM PDT

well written but it seems to me there are some basic inconsistencies.

how can a girl get beaten up and left looking so bad be at school and no one in authority notice ?

is the girl homeless ? If so how has she managed to stay at school?

I may have missed something or this is explained in the chapters not in the vote zone.

what does work is there is a real sense of the suffering the main protagonist is going through, i love the pathetic love for the hidden journal. a small part of the story but it really brings her sad plight across to the reader.

poetic_person

4/19/2009 9:05 AM PDT

Oh! OH! CANT WAIT FOR PART TWO!!!! HURRY UP!! AND I VOTED FOR THIS!!!!!!!!

gonzodave

4/18/2009 4:22 PM PDT

~Aniytilia - good luck. Thumbs up!

BridgetWidget

4/18/2009 4:34 AM PDT

Wow, this is so intense!

CallumC

4/17/2009 8:34 PM PDT

Its taken me a while to get here, but the a
wait was worth while. Great writing and intense story.
Publish.

writer122

4/16/2009 5:51 AM PDT

Good luck!

Capulet

4/15/2009 7:54 PM PDT

good luck kail [=

Hailey424

4/15/2009 7:14 PM PDT

LOVE IT!

Connie123

4/15/2009 2:46 PM PDT

I LOVE YOUR STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!

rbenson11

4/15/2009 8:17 AM PDT

This is still one of my favorites.

ashly_dyan

4/14/2009 10:10 PM PDT

I got my vote in!

DarkChild

4/14/2009 2:03 PM PDT

I REALLY LOVED THIS BOOK AND I REALLY HOPE IT GOES VERY FAR!!!!!

jthsgrad2006

4/14/2009 12:26 PM PDT

love it so far....look forward to part to.

LoneWolfTifa

4/13/2009 6:00 PM PDT

Definitely going to get this book if it gets published! You are an awesome writer!!!!!

FlameChild

4/13/2009 5:54 PM PDT

Your introduction is so interesting, i love how the author and character are arguing lol =) Best of luck to you!

pattimari

4/13/2009 3:05 PM PDT

I vote to publish

Charred_Soul

4/11/2009 6:40 AM PDT

seems confusing . . . and you switch between the past and the present.

CookieHol

4/10/2009 5:01 PM PDT

Definately Kail :D Voted for you.

SirKeystone

4/9/2009 9:05 PM PDT

You've got my vote! Another one of those stories that you just have to find out what happens next!

JaneAusten

4/9/2009 8:45 PM PDT

please can you write Part 2 soon, Aniytlia? Thanks! :D Good story!!!

naiveandwitty

4/9/2009 6:25 PM PDT

i wish you success.

JaneAusten

4/9/2009 4:37 PM PDT

Thanks for the invite!!! :D

Architectus

4/9/2009 2:08 PM PDT

I really like this story. It has my vote; although, it will still need some editing.

vampirechica

4/9/2009 1:07 PM PDT

oh my gosh I would SO LOVE TO REAT THIS! i love it. great job you are awesome and I voted for it to be published...i hope it does!

JaneCross

4/8/2009 5:22 PM PDT

i voted!!!

mamacheesebrgr

4/8/2009 4:14 PM PDT

i love this and if it doesnt get published i will do something drastic!:) jk, but i really do hope it gets published because if it is, i will totally buy it!!!!

vampiress

4/8/2009 3:25 PM PDT

I hope this gets published. You are an extremely talented writer and you deserve to get this published after all your hard work.

Amber_Hearn

4/8/2009 12:28 PM PDT

I only meant to read a few chapters. I ended up reading the whole thing and I am not a teenager. Very intriguing. Great story line. A few grammar and punctuation problems, but a good editor wil fix that up easily. It is one of the best up for voting that I've read thus far. Thumbs up!

EvilWaffleS

4/8/2009 3:48 AM PDT

wow - hope this is published

Cyrennedy

4/7/2009 7:21 PM PDT

I love this story soo much, it should be published! ^__^

BrazilLit

4/7/2009 6:18 PM PDT

This is an interesting project. The plot is engaging and creative; the charaters are well described; the dialog flows well; some spelling mistakes and incorrect choice of words (minimally noticed during reading); it was able to really grab my attention by the end of chapter 3. Worthy of a choice to be reviewed for publication. I will come back to finish reading (read first five chapters before casting my vote).

JerseyGrl03

4/7/2009 6:12 PM PDT

Simply wonderful! Good luck with the vote, you deserve to get published!

Angel24

4/7/2009 5:41 PM PDT

u defo got my vote!!

alienscribe

4/7/2009 4:46 PM PDT

Got my vote - keep up the good work!

Mistical_Nia

4/7/2009 3:34 PM PDT

Love it! Love it! Love it! Love it! Love it! (and a thousand more "love it's" later...) You totally have my vote. I hope you return it.

www.webook.com/project/Sweet-Treats

ellen1997

4/7/2009 3:07 PM PDT

I like this book! It's fantastic! I voted for it.

RenesmeBBF

4/7/2009 2:13 PM PDT

wow soo cool

thedainmaster

4/7/2009 12:46 PM PDT

Looks great, fresh work!! very interesting too.... Thumbs up and good luck! I also have a book up- 'The A Gang Chronicles'- could you vote? We'll get published together ;)

JamiClearwater

4/7/2009 11:58 AM PDT

p.s, when it gets published, I will SO Buy it

JamiClearwater

4/7/2009 11:54 AM PDT

total thumbs up, I love it!

brownies

4/7/2009 11:29 AM PDT

good luck! its fab! x

naiveandwitty

4/7/2009 10:50 AM PDT

i wish you success.

thevoice

4/7/2009 10:40 AM PDT

Great heart ache great write God love I hope life gets better great healing book god bless mike

A_G_Vamp

4/7/2009 9:47 AM PDT

Wow cool i'm reading this

KathrynMorris

4/7/2009 8:12 AM PDT

Cool, very interesting. i'm going to go for publish! :)

Talitha

4/6/2009 6:50 PM PDT

Yes...I'm voting. Great story. =]

kawaii

4/6/2009 5:15 PM PDT

you better have this published dude this is my second fave of your projects! so damn't pubilish!

Secret_Ninja008

4/6/2009 12:24 PM PDT

oh hell yeah i'm voting publish!!!!!
gah i love my webook friends!! :DD

Soulless

4/6/2009 10:25 AM PDT

Exactly as I promised, I have voted "publish" for this project. I really hope you do get it published, this was my top choice.

KINGLOVERR

4/6/2009 10:06 AM PDT

You are a very good writer I love your style. I voted for you please vote for my book "King Loverr: Diary of a Philosophical Loner.

FantasyWitch

4/6/2009 6:10 AM PDT

I have already said to you how amazing this book is, but really you need this: my PUBLISH vote. X

EdgeOfFiction

4/6/2009 2:47 AM PDT

Abselutly amazing book. The deepth of the novel is breathtaking. Cant wait till you are done with number 2. I must know more.
Melissa

JaneAusten

4/6/2009 12:26 AM PDT

Finally! Just voted publish here!

JaneAusten

4/5/2009 1:51 AM PDT

Come on voting!!! (Just a few more hours- oh, dang, I have school tomorrow, anyway. Oh, well. NZ time is so ahead of WEbook time, anyway, that it'll be the 7th here by the time I get to vote!- Or so close to the 7th that I'll be asleep on the night of the sixth!) :D!

JaneAusten

4/4/2009 5:22 PM PDT

Vira's beautiful, if that's her in the picture (it probably is). Why do they pick on her? She looks like she could be one of the populars.

JaneAusten

3/31/2009 5:30 PM PDT

Cool! Can't wait to start when I get off my schoolwork.

Bitten_Pencils

3/31/2009 2:47 PM PDT

Fascinating. Vira's little repeition of Kail's forceful intent makes me laugh. I can't wait to start.

Ky_the_hopeful

3/30/2009 5:07 PM PDT

Sounds great! Can't wait to read!

MareBear16

3/27/2009 8:26 PM PDT

It looks good.

Neosierra163

3/26/2009 3:53 PM PDT

Oooh. Sounds cool...

Sofiebob

3/25/2009 11:25 PM PDT

'they only want to kill you.'

lmao, love it
sounds great, amazing

CelticLass

3/21/2009 2:26 PM PDT

sounds really sweeeet! Sorry I can't join!!!! :'( :'(
~CL~ <3

CrzHrsGal

3/7/2009 12:18 PM PST

This is the one u should publish. You add your own sizzle to fantasy.

EmilyC_16

2/6/2009 7:39 PM PST

Love it... You always bring greatness to your work!

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Chookie

1/30/2009 10:07 PM PST

this is really cool!

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Berlet98

1/30/2009 12:39 AM PST

Try to learn how to spell before you post. I do believe you meant to say "breathe" rather than "breath.." :(

Destane

1/27/2009 2:37 PM PST

amazing I love it!

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Aniytlia

1/26/2009 5:28 AM PST

Ok, I'm rewriting this and you'll know which one's I've gone through because they have
(second draft)
written up at the top and they have the chapter header. :)
:) Aniytlia

Aniytlia

1/25/2009 6:30 PM PST

Okay every one who has been so loyally reading this story. I have taken all these chapters and I am beginning the second draft phase of this story, pretty soon this entire book will be completely rewritten and (hopefull) a hundred times better :)
:) Aniytlia

K_Vamps

1/24/2009 2:21 PM PST

i love this novel. and the pictures. even in part 2. :)

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EmilyC_16

1/22/2009 12:20 PM PST

Wow, I'm amazed. This is by far a great novel and I'm in love with it!

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Aniytlia

1/21/2009 4:38 AM PST

Yay! Draconian is now finished so for all of you who want to read a complete story here it is!
:) Aniytlia

Niah50

1/19/2009 8:26 PM PST

nice

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halfopendoor

1/19/2009 7:13 PM PST

sound very exciting

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rumplestiltzkin

1/19/2009 6:49 PM PST

hm, sounds interesting

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Johdi_Rockette

1/19/2009 4:41 PM PST

Wow thanks for inviting me, looks like good work so far! I was awestruck at the number of chapters you've completed! ^_^

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Soulless

1/19/2009 4:37 PM PST

This looks like a long and very good read.

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swift_shadow

1/19/2009 1:51 PM PST

sounds awesome

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Aniytlia

1/19/2009 1:48 PM PST

I swear, I was just reading over some of my feedback, paying special attention to the ones concerning Deon and the emotions are flicking back and forth all over the place. I swear, one chapter you love him, then you hate him, then you want him dead, then you're missing him, then your feeling sorry for him, then your happy for him and then you hate him all over again.
That just SOOOO makes my day :)
:) Aniytlia

Nightmare_Girl

1/16/2009 8:50 PM PST

cool

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sarah_of_bags

1/16/2009 12:36 PM PST

I haven't started reading this yet, but you've caught me hook, line, and sinker.
What an interesting way to get a reader's attention. ^__^

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EdgeOfFiction

1/12/2009 12:52 AM PST

interesting. Sounds kind of like the smoke thief series

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Lovely_Writer

1/11/2009 5:49 PM PST

Great story plot

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singingduckie

1/6/2009 9:05 PM PST

I love this story! The plot, the way you weave the words...
It's definitely one of my favorite stories on WEbook.
Finish it soon! =D

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anonymouskitten

12/28/2008 10:29 PM PST

Interesting overview. If you need any revising help, message me. :) I'm taking the next 2 weeks off from writing to stretch my mind a little.

-anonymouskitten

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LadyCheshire13

12/27/2008 12:30 PM PST

A few spelling and grammatical suggestions:
abuised- abused
faithful- fateful
on- for
own- self
know- knows
discovery a- discovery, a

Sorry, I'm a bit nit-picky when it comes to this stuff, Nothing is more annoying than reading a book and finding at least six errors on the first page! again, sorry, just wanted to let you know. But I really like it so far!

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IainMcColl

12/26/2008 1:54 AM PST

The Draconian race are an alien race which apparently came to earth back before the Sumerians, and to this day and interbred, so I've read darling lol I could go on for a while about this but I'm sure you probably know already, probably more than me lol, X

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Aniytlia

12/24/2008 3:39 PM PST

For those who don't know (If gotten a tone of messages over this) a draconian is a half dragon half human person. My story puts twists on them and since they've never really been DONE before I'm putting some major details on how everything works for them in my story.
:) Aniytlia
(P.S. because I can see one of you messaging me over another book with draconians in them I know they've been done before it's justthat they haven't been very often.)