Why? Everyday i play it off as if nothing is going on. I plaster a smile upon my face when on the inside i'm crying and begging for someone to let me out. I play it cool. I hide my emotions, never tell nobody, who will care? I'm who i am. You tease me, you make fun of me, yet you still don't break. What is the use of crying? I will never get me anywere. I hide behind the true person that i really am. I'm NOT shy, I'm NOT queit, you trapped me in a shell, i act the way i do because i'm afraid of you. As hard as you try to break me, or for me to show one bit of weakness, i'm not going to. Everybody's life has its up and down. You made be in the deepedt darkest spot of your life while others are in there highlight, but i happens to everyone, my light will shine someday.

This feeling of hopelessness, this feeling of regret and so on. This darn thing..this 'shaw' have been sitting on my shoulder for far to long. It is too heavey to carry around me all the darn time. I want to get rid of it but don't know how. I know life isn't great! There isn't no rainbow or magical pretty being or 'care' in the world like those child programs have protray it as.
When looking at the world outside my window, all I see is people with a blank face with strings attatch to their neck, hands, and feet. They cover thier shame with fake smiles and make up happyness.
No...I was wrong about the last part. There is a very few people who would take the time to care about other people well being without asking for money or other advancements. I guess...I just missed the compassion of 'care' from other people and not just worrying about bills and so forth. I guess...I've been let down for so long that I'm numb of the dreading feeling and place blame on someone else.
Its funny. The one thing that everyone want is happyness, joy, love, and so fort is so close if front of our faces, we can just reach out and touch it. But once you think you have it at reach, you realized that its much much further away, out of your reach.
I've been told once, somwhere or another that....
The reality is false replication of the world. The dream is memory of ideas or fantacy of memerable pleasure. And law is placements of who rules who by the 'norm' standards.

In the depth of the darkness

Where nothing roams without mercy

I lay still

The abyss taking me in

And not letting me go

Blood roams the halls, and death is around every corner

The darkness deepens

And the screams and cries for help and death become more clear

No one wants to be in the endless pit of nothingness

But we are all here

Rotting away as if never alive

Death strikes again

But this time you are gone.

Life gone, and serving no purpose

So you let the darkness drag you to the bottom of the abyss

One last cry for help

One last scream for mercy

One more plead for you life to go back to the way it was.

Then, every things over.

 One more to die for self pity, and lost to the nothingness of the other side

Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard. When I was younger making friends and keeping them was no problem. I was open and easy going. Things have changed since then and yet I haven't changed that much. Yes, I'm shy and but I'm still friendly and willing to listen to your problems. If you were to become my friend you would have a friend who would always be there for you. So why is it I can't get the same in return?
You say you're my best friend and yet you spend more time with many others than you ever spend with me. You don't mind buying them things and taking them places and yet it seems hard for you to spend anything on me. It's something I find hard to believe after I gave you a ride to school for months in return for my one month; after I spent money on you at the movies, restaurants, and stores.
I listen to you're problems and give you advice and comfort. In return I can barely get a word in edge wise before you turn around and talk about you again (And you want to be a psychologist? Good luck). I was there for you when you cried over a boy you're still with (even though he's hurt you far too much emotionally) and yet you spend more time with him and spend more money on him. Do you like the pain? Is it something you need after your upbringing? If so why am I not the same? We went through similar experiences and yet we both handle them so different. I just want a friend I can have and trust with my secrets. I want a friend who will listen in return and let me ramble without feeling rushed and unimportant. It hurts to see everyone else find someone to confide in except for me.
Fate seems to like to play cruel tricks on me, giving me friends only to pull them back like a funny joke, only I'm not laughing... After everything I've been through... just one friend would be nice. Making friends is hard for me, I don't communicate well with others. I'm shy with my appearance and looks and I always think I make mistakes when talking with someone. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about that with you since I've known you for most of high school and we both have our flaws (maybe yours were greater than I though...). I guess I was wrong. I seem to be wrong most of the time these days and I find myself falling back into an old form. A form I thought a rid myself of ever since I moved from my Aunt's where my hell was. Like I said, being wrong seems to be a repetitive thing for me. Oh well, I guess I need to start looking again and hope I won't be crushed like every other time. Wish me luck and I'll wish you luck with your life. Did I tell you the saddest part is I won't stop caring about you? I won't stop helping you with your problems and I won't stop comforting you. It'll kill me slowly to know that I can help you but you won't return it but oh well that's life right?

One area I lack in the basic relationship is communication. Maybe this is triggered by fear, I'm not sure. I've never been good with relationships. This is probably due to the fact that I have some trouble trusting people and especially guys. Guys are so much harder to let into my life than girls. Friendship and Family are the two most important relationships for me and I'm good at those. But when it comes to a non-platonic relationship with a guy, that is where I lack confidence and simply experience. I have what my sister and I call the Cornick-effect. This name came from her experiences with a guy name _______ Cornick. This effect is when you like a guy and then he begins to like you back and then you freakout and dont exactly know how to feel or really how to approach the guy anymore. All those experience people out there, don't judge me too harshly because it is so much harder in my shoes and with my fragile heart. In the beginning of the year there were one of those 'things' I like this guy and he liked me. At least I think he liked me but its so hard to be sure, now. For weeks It was me and him. Things were great but I was cautious. He asked to be my bf but I wasnt ready I didnt want one. Then another time we were embraced in a heavy hug when he leaned in. His lip drew closer. and closer until they were only centimeters away. I wanted to kiss those lips so much. So very much. But there was that warnning in my heart. Warning or just nerves kicking in but if I should have kissed him Im sure my heart would have been all up for it. I pulled away as I couldnt do it.  He was a player so Im sure I needed to make sure he wanted me and not just girl. A favorite quote of my says, "Sometimes people don't put up walls to keep others away but to see who cares enough to tear them down." I wanted him to destruct that hesitant fear inside me and make him convince me  that he truly liked me. Cause what I felt for him was way past normal. After the almost kiss I'd contemplated why I shouldn't be his girlfriend and convinced myself that I could indeed take this boy to be my bf. He started to call me less and less. We still talked. But i hadnt told him yet that I would have liked to go out with him. Only days later, a Friday, my best friend came up to me gave me a hug. Of course I'd told her everything that had happened and everything that I had felt for him. She tells me that she is now going out with the guy. And tries to apologize to me. I simply push her away. A true friend would have come to me first before going out with him to ask how I feel. But no it was her happiness over mine. Bros over hoes for her. She always needed a man in her life. He was also truly an ass. Weeks after they are bf and gf officially I get back in friend mode because nothing was worth losing that but I couldnt really be friends with him. He broke me. He hurt me. And he broke the trust more importantly. The trust that is now fractured even for future use. With the lack of communication, weeks later, today I regret to say he doesnt exactly know how much I hate his guts or the vast number of pieces in which he shattered my heart. But I am not the only one lacking this communication field. Since the almost kiss to his new girl friend to today, he has not once come to me to ask how its all made me feel or even to tell me that he was going out with her. I'd found out from other people. But with all this I feel, who am I to stop to people from making each other happy.

i am defeated
no one can help me
no one will save me
on occasions i feel alive
caring is in my nature
end my life please
no one is there for me
till the day i die i shall be lonley

damn myself for believing
end my life now
and no one shall come
till time has ended i shall be with fear
hell is waiting for me

We should all step back and take a look at what we are looking at. Turn the image 64 degrees to the left if you are right handed and 93 degrees to the right if you are left handed. Change the lightbulbs color. Any change in the way you see things will change your whole perspective.... even the littlest thing.

Grab a pencil and write your name in your very best handwriting. Then write it in your very best cursive handwritting upsidedown. Never stop challenging yourself. Just because you reach a goal doesn't mean you are done. Can't you find it in yourself just to reach a liiiiiitttle bit more?

I am an inspiring person looking for inspiration. What happens when you don't know where to look. I am not completely lost. I just want to travel a road that no one else has traveled. I'm seeking for a clue that will tell me my true desires. What am I here for? Why can I not find it in me? Maybe the answer is simply that I just have not had enough experience with life and that I have to live a little more.

Take leaps and never look down :)

It's taken me a long time to realize, that life's not fair. There's going to be battles that we will loose. We're going to loose loved ones, we're going to have things in life that we have to face even though we don't want to. But thats life. The meaning in life is to widthstand your ground and never let anything tear you down. Everyone is going to have problems in their lives. And some people are going to want to literally kill themselves. I know this, because I've been there. Don't. No matter how hard life hits you, you were made onto this world for a purpose. You may be going through a tough time now. But you have to remember that things get worse before they get better. And you have to have faith and believe that things will get better. Life is such a wonderful thing! Embrace it and live life to your fullest. Don't care about what others around you are saying. Just remember to keep your head held high and never let life get you down. And always remember, NEVER GIVE UP.

i just dont get people. doesnt matter what gender boy or girl i just dont understand them. i try my best to befriend people and i normally can pretty easily but i dont get them when we are friends for so many years how can you just change like that? i mean your sweet for 6 years and then one day you just turn into a royal jerk.
boys i get them i grew up with them i was raised by them but thats not a good thing im used to abuse which i guess is why i keep going back to the boys who hurt me who make me feel so bad who bring me to the brink of suicide.
why is it the human heart feels so much anger, love, sadness, happiness, confusion, anxiety, stress, so on. it just seems so much for us to have its overwhelming. though being a person that bottles up emotions i guess im not one to talk. why do we love so we can just be injured again?

General:
I don't facebook. I don't "tweet" or text, and I never reddit. However, I did recently take up this new pattern of what I like to call complacent apathy. I mean, once you think about it, and I HAVE thought about it, you realize that life doesn't have a purpose. We don't live for an end; we live for the here and now!

Let our so-called "morals" be our guide of what is right and wrong, not religion or politics! We have this BAFFLING mystery of life bestowed upon us, and we want more just for ourselves? I mean, everything is great as it is, and will be great if we work as a collective! We can't subject ourselves to this capitalist nightmare, where the rich profit from the poor and the poor, well, are left to die.


Plot:
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm just as 'American' as everyone else. Hell, I even think everyone has a right to have some modicum of personal gain. But once this sh*t gets out of control, we have this small class of the elite. Then that group will get smaller. And smaller. And smaller. What then? Do we revert back to some pseudo-communism, fooling ourselves with this puny ray of hope?

No, it'll be too late for that. We need to stop this. End it NOW. If we all work towards one great common welfare, then everyone has something to gain. And we will grow, and grow, and grow, and we will develop exponentially!

Existence is such a wonderful thing! All of us is a great complex machine, down to the very last molecule, even as my muscles contract and expand as I type this, and the electrical impulses are firing through my nerve cells, and My mind races through all sorts of other things. It's kinda hard to type all this out. Once you sit back, stop worrying about where you are or where you're headed, you realize that truly, there's no need for some higher explanation. The "godliness," so to speak, lies within each of our own bodies.

I'm the typical teenager .. go to parties, to school, I have many friends, we are all of those of us who transport those who hallucinate and we like.
I wish I could understand life and to say that although I have 15 years I can go beyond, and every time I tried to go out and hurt, maybe I'm quite sensitive, I love to write and express what I feel, I like that people read it and could convey all this to what I am exposed, not yet what career I want to study, nor in what country I live but I always want to write.

i wish that everyone could appreciate what they have, while they have it.  whatever it is that is important to that person.  someday, what you have won’t be there, and all the things you wish you said or did or tried or regretted will not matter.  the only regret will be that you did not appreciate it while you had it, and that is what you will have to live with for the rest of your life.  when things seem bad, remember, it could always be worse.  there is always someone who has it ten times more difficult than you do, and there is always someone who would gladly trade shoes with you even for just a day.

My mind screamed, IS THAT WHAT *I* DID WHEN I WAS LITTLE? As i saw these two girls in 4th grade bully a little 3 year old. They told the poor, poor little girl things to scare her. Like, "Oh, no! Don't step there the spiders will eat you!" and, "Don't go down the slide it'll fall down and you will die!". I sat there for some time waiting, hoping someone would stand up for that little girl.
Eventually when they stole her flip-flops i told myself, that was the last straw. I walked up to the 3 year old and told her that there was no spiders going to eat her, no slide going to callapse when she goes down it. Then, I glared a the 4th graders who was glaring back at me. I jerked the flip-flops out of one of their hands and gave them back to the little girl and said one last thing to her, "Don't listen to them their just big liers." and walked away smiling.

That is why you say the first word, break the ice. it is a lot to say "I exist" but even much more to prove it.

General:
It was funny, the way they looked at me as if I weren't human when I was probably the most human of them. They crucify me for not being plastic, because I, unlike them, am flesh and blood, with a heart to prove it.

Plot:
Jane isn't one of them: flawless. She is awkward, selfish, and real. Jane simply has to learn that there is no room for that in high school or, for that matter, anywhere else. Navigating a world obsessed with perfection is harder than anyone had bothered to tell her, especially when you're only human.

Character Development:
Jane learns that the most perfect thing in the world is humanity, imperfection in its purest form.

Structure:
stanzas

Tone/Voice:
Narrative and Ironic

Wow!!!!!!!!1 that's great !!!!!nice story TwilightWitch

General:
I am Amaya Melissa Elena Lee. I don't know why my crush has to have a girlfriend?

That is the worst girl for him. She abuses him. I can see it, but he hdies it very well.

Plot:
Amaya Melissa Elena Lee is quite unhappy with the way her crush's girlfriend is treating him. Will she ever notice that he likes her, too?

Character Development:
Maya and Josh both develop into each other's relationships. They then realize they always liked each other.


Structure:
Paragraphs, chapters.

Tone/Voice:
Love. Love. Romance. You get it.

I has... a question. Who the flippin heck bullies someone so bad they kill themselves?!?

God! This is like 'The Book of Depression'!!

General:
Indigo Child. The only title i've been dubbed that's actually resonated with me. A close friend of mine half heartedly called me that. I searched page after page on bing and google for this term until my efforts brought me to my destination.

I read, "Are you an Indigo Child?" and a list provided me of scenarios that would, if all applied, concluded you as an Indigo Child.

I was shocked beyond belief for I had never related to anything so obscure in my entire life. Now was the time that I embraced my weird, odd, strange and downright sketchy human behaviors that I couldn't identify until I had read this article.

And that's when was reborn, for lack of a better cliche. It was a beautiful closure to such an interesting beginning.

Plot:
A highway of the teenage mind, being traced and retraced.

Tone/Voice:
Raw. Deliberate.

This is a short story which i am writing from the top of  my head, and its what i am experiencing and what i am feeling.

Life without Direction

        I thought life was going to be simple. I thought i would enjoy it til the end but i find myself staring, staring into something and yet its nothing. People around me say i should get up! Get up and do something- go to university or get a job or do a course or do something!
         I feel the intense pressure peering at me, expecting me to excel at SOMETHING! I am uncertain, i feel uncertain, i feel like i'm about to explode and theres noone there who can understand what im going through because...bbbecause i'm all alone. I stand alone on a ship set adrift to God knows where, sailing for God knows who and arriving to God knows what destination.
          But somehow i know,  i know that this fear is nothing compared to how i shall feel when i feel death sweeping through my body, making me shudder; feeling the ice-cold wind whine and moan in my ears. This feeling reassures me and yet, at the same time it chills me, chills me to the bone. Because it reminds me, it makes me remember that i am mere atom, nothing but scientific elements of air and atmosphere- nothing more. At times, i wonder if my soul truly exists or whether through the growing cynicism in me it has withered away and has extinguished like a blown-out flame. My future may lay uncertain but my death is even more.

I carry this poem around with me in my wallet (:

Skin Like Paper

You look at them
Your brow is furrowed
I pull down my shirt's hem
But there's no way they can hide

They're deeper than they seem
Go all the way down to my soul
But you don't so deem
Just scars on my wrists

Freshness, my head clears
Scissors, come to me
To my flesh, the blood smears
Blinking, feeling better

Not to die
To feel better
Have to hide
These lovely scars of mine

Just so you know... I'm not a cutter any more. Before you hate me or something. Thanks (:

Hope it's any good. I made it up on the spot.

In a world of Cheerios, I was a Froot Loop. That's what my friends always told me. They even called me Froot Loop. Well, they used to. After my mom disappeared and I set off to find her, I hadn't seen anyone I know.
"Carrie!" a voice said loudly, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glanced around, my fists clenched. I hadn't heard my name called in so long. "Carrie!" the voice shouted again. I spun to the sound in the busy St. Louis street. He weaved in and out of the other pedestrians. Dark brown hair... Tan skin... Light green eyes... Oh God, what does HE want?
"Carrie! I can't believe I found you!" George Kentin shouted. I spun around and started to run. But I should've known it was useless. George was the fastest person I knew.
"Carrie, please listen. Come back with me. There's something I think you need to know," George asked quietly, taking my wrist.
"George, I'm not -" I glanced around. "Let's talk somewhere else." He nodded and led me to a tiny coffeshop set in the back of a strip mall. "Look, I'm not going anywhere until my mom's back home. I..." I hesitated, but took a leap of faith. I needed to give him a reason. "I found out that she was kidnapped."
George blinked, caught off guard. "Really?"
I nodded. "I don't know why, or how, but I'm close to finding out who."
"Let me help you. We need you home," George said, his voice breaking strangely. I tried to decipher his face, but he'd always been a mystery to me.
I tried to say no, but there was no denying it. I needed help. And, no matter how much I hated him, George was the most trustworthy person I would be able to find.
"Alright."

Tone/Voice:
Well...I'll write about my idiot brother then :)) He's insane. From the day he was born, he came out kicking and screaming. Me on the other hand am a bit more docile. Sure I can be crazy, but have a boat load of self control where his self control couldn't fill a 1 1/2 liter bottle of soda! But I love him, and he's got a lot of spunk for a kid like him. He acts like a baby some of the time, and yet shows trust that I cannot even imagine at others. I have a lot to learn from him, just as he could learn a few things from me. Either way, I would never change him. Though he's annoying, rude, stinky, weird, irresponsible, rather slow, creepy at times, stubborn, and way too energetic, he's a good kid. I know the list of all his flaws is long. But I should just show you the list of his good qualities. It's longer that you might imagine. Wow, I can't believe I'm saying all this stuff about my brother. Huh....Just goes to show what writing can do!

        Sorry mom, I know I don’t make it very easy to love me. Sorry dad, I know I don’t make it very easy to say you are proud. Sorry Brooke, I know how much time you spend trying to teach me how to do these things.
        I mean the way I see it is I am in college, I am not involved in any terrible addictions, I made a division three tennis team, I do my homework, I get to class on time, I don’t go out of my way to hurt peoples feelings, I’m polite, composed, well traveled.
        The way they see it is I am in college but not making the dean’s list, I am not involved in any terrible addictions but I have friends that are, I made a division three tennis team, but quit, I do my homework but don’t ace every single test, I get to class on time yet have been absent a time or two, I don’t go out of my way to hurt people’s feelings, but don’t compliment often enough, I’m polite but have sworn in anger, composed but crazy, well traveled- wait no, spoiled.
        What can I say? I try to do what makes me happy. The happiest person I know is my sister. I have to question though, is her happiness real? It’s not my fault I have to live up to a human who comes as close to perfect as humanly possible. Just because what makes her happy just happens to be what makes everybody else happy, does not make me a failure. Unlucky- maybe. What bothers me the most is that she only cares about my happiness. She would do anything for me. She loves me unconditionally. Of course she does, why wouldn’t she. She’s my best friend. Why wouldn’t she be? Yet I am miserable around her. Not because I am a miserable person, in fact my life is more exciting than hers in so many ways due to my imperfections, that I would never for a moment want to walk one hour in her shoes. I know that it sounds like I am jealous, and yeah- I probably wouldn’t mind if I had her hair and she had mine; but the reason I am miserable around her is because I feel bad for her. I feel the more miserable I am around her, the better balance of emotion we can evade when we are together. She’s in love has been for six years, “high school sweet hearts.” I have suffered from depression; she has suffered from obsession. Mine got me to the point where I could learn to appreciate what it is to be happy. Hers got her nowhere. I want to add depth in her life. She struggles with the fact that she cannot relate to me, it kills her. She wants me to experience the happiness she has found yet I want her to find the sadness that has taught me so much. Happiness is real, when you have earned it. My sister has not earned it, so it’s not as rewarding. She was handed a lot of things that make her happy, not to say she is not a hard worker, because she might just be the definition of such an ideal, but I feel she is missing out on a vital part of life. The hardship. The pain.

I never thought I would wish pain on any one that I loved; but it’s the one difference that pulls us apart. It’s also the one thing that makes it so easy for her to love me. Pity. As well as it is the one thing that makes it so hard for me to understand her. Spite.

As I look at all my past trials I realize that I should have learned something, grown from it. Instead something happened along the way, something that cut short my progress towards becoming a confident young woman.
Was it my father? Who was there by my side but not at the same time? My mother, who left and yet stayed? Or maybe my Aunt who always had something to say to put me down and then something to say to bring me back up? Or, yes one more, was it my classmates who couldn't except me for who I was? Who mocked me for sticking up for my friends?
Maybe I'll never know for sure, maybe it was a combination of the above. I do know that those who I have loved over the years have changed and gone. Those who I once stuck up for have moved on with their lives.
Worse yet is that I let down the one person who truely mattered most in all this nonsence. The one who also needed support and help through these rough times... My own flesh and blood. My brother; my brother who had to go through many different schools in such a short time because my aunt could not carry on taking him like my mother could. My brother who gave his trust and love to me to hold onto... the one I knew more about than my own parents did. And yet I a gave into my self pity and ignored the one person who needed me most. The one who fell from a straight A student who teachers praised to an average student who talked to much because no one would listen. Yet I still ignore him even today when life is much better than it was before, our bond already broken from what it was...
The rambles of a teenager just growing into young adulthood? Maybe... or maybe someone who has too much to bear and needs someone to listen.

This is a time of trial, I think. I must endure.
Yeah, right. Endure living in a trailer when not even a year ago I was living in a house and I was happy? Endure the pressure of wondering where I'm going to college and how I'm going to get there?
Endure my mother taking all my paychecks and using them to pay bills and rent on this crappy roach-infested apartment and it only barely covers it, even with her own paychecks?
Yeah, I'll endure. But it will be my way.
I don't tell her that it makes me angry when she takes the paychecks. I know that it goes to keep us in a home of our own. I want to tell her. I have told her once. Once. And we had a huge argument.
I hate arguing. I really do. And it's worst when she yells.
I didn't yell.
No.
I kept my voice level--or as level as I could, considering I was on the verge of tears--and handled it coolly.
My sister wanted to buy something at Wal-Mart and I went with her. Mom said she didn't want to see my face. Fine. I didn't want to see hers either.
The instant we were out the door, I really let it out. I was crying--bawling--and cussing up a storm.
I never cuss.
I never cry--not if I can help it.
But that hurt me.
And it hurt my mom.
When we get to Wal-Mart, I give $20 to the bell-ringer and he tells me to have a nice night. Too late for that, mister.
To piss Mom off I buy Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It just came out. I had been waiting for months.
When we get home, I give her my remaining $60 and tell her that's all I earned from waitressing.
She buys it, and I hide the movie in my room. I'll watch it tomorrow.
I know I should apologize to her. I know she'll insist on one.
But she's not getting one tonight.

her footsteps fall upon,
the rain-splattered pavement.
her eyes like rain clouds,
dark and heavy.

sorrow,
she drowns in it.
is there no escape from
this undying nightmare?

flowers fall upon
a shining grave.
'tis but the ashes of
a soul departed.

yet no-one is dead
she cries
yet her heart sinks in
sorrow.

realisation strikes.
'tis i who is the walking
dead.
'tis depression.

i wanted to enter the inanimate object challenge but it was too late !!!!   

Standing with my nine companions, I watch you as you sit there, contemplating your next turn.  You approach the line with determination in your eye and a ball in your hand.  Suddenly you roll the ball straight at me and I brace for impact.  I think to myself, "Will it hit me?"  What seems like minutes only takes seconds.  I have no protection, no escape and before i know it, I'm rolling on the floor, waiting to be picked up.  My life consists of being knocked down and picked up again and again, untill my pretty white skin is tarnished with deep grooves and black smudges.

Thinking of you get's me by,
Even if thinking of you makes me cry.
There's no one in this world I want more,
You've burned me to my core.
My heart lies, heavy in my chest,
It feels like this was all a test.
You tested my love and moved on,
Unfortunately there are a million pros with you, cand one con.
That con was me, the fool,
God, I was such a tool.
To think YOU could ever someone like me,
I guess i acted stupidly.
Now I'm here and you're gone,
And now you don't have one, single, con...

You were my life, my hopes, my dreams, my future... I thought.
I realized, a little too late, that something was wrong.
You were off in a way you had never acted before.
How come you didn't answer my texts?
What had I done? Anything?
Confronting you was a challenge.
In the hall I rushed to catch up with you.
When I asked what was up, you responded, "nothing, why?"
I didn't know what was with me just then, but I got mad.
~                      ~                     ~
Apparently you lost your phone?
Who loses their phone?!
I was going to say more, but one of your "new" friends came over to talk.
Was it just me? Or had you changed?
You weren't that funny, sweet, friendly boy you had always been before.
Memories swirled around me.
The webcam conversations, glances exchanged during class...
Something was off.
Again I asked myself what I had done.
I didn't think I had done...
Wait.
Had I done something?
I scanned my mind.
~                ~               ~
I decided to message you on facebook.
Not even five minutes later, a reply?
From you?
You told me I hadn't done anything.
Something was still off.
I asked if you didn't like me anymore.
You replied, "I never said that."
What does that mean?
~               ~                 ~
You talk to me now.
But things aren't like they used to be.
Words used countless times, but I could still taste the meaning.
I ask myself if I still love you.
Well this is my response:
No matter what, there will always be a place for you in my heart. Only time will tell how big that place will be. But for now, I miss the old you. Please come back.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

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fantastic

Katie’s Life



Waking up to another boring day of school. I quickly got dressed and my mum yelled “Kate your pancakes are ready!” I rapidly went downstairs to get my favourite breakfast pancakes  drizzled in syrup. Sadly my maniac brother, Josh, was eating them off just to annoy me and so he did. I left without my breakfast because the school bus came. I don’t really need to go on the school bus because my mum already has a car and is always happy to drive me there but  my ultimate crush Sean always went on the bus  so I persuaded mum to let me go on it too  the top five things I loved about Sean was ……………………

1)        His dreamy dark brown eyes.
2)        The way his brown hair danced in the wind
3)        His perfect smile.
4)        His passion for music he has a great voice and writes songs and plays the guitar.
5)         And that he was the head of the football team

The only thing I hated about him was that he was going out with Chelsea. The stuck up drama queen who had got all the boys attention. She hated me and I hated her but I had a reason to she always picked on me since year 2 when I accidently spilt milk over her long silky blonde hair. Since that day she has been torturing me and my best mates. 

Me and my best friends have our own secret gang called we hate Chelsea not really that would be totally mean and stepping to her level our group name is called KAST  the initials of our names k is for Kate of course. A is for Alice her mum called her that because she loved the film Alice and wonderland. S is for Sabrina but Chelsea calls her Sabrina the teenage witch. And the only boy in the group Tom who is a science genius.
 
Finally we got to school after a long long wait because of traffic. My first lesson was Science and I was lucky enough to be partnered with Tom we were dissecting a frog when it splattered all over me. Tom was helpful by helping me get all that mess of my face but everyone else was laughing including Chelsea and Sean. I felt like I was dying of embarrassment. 

Then the laughing stopped when our head teacher came in but not on her own but with another girl the head teacher said “sorry to interrupt but we have a new student joining us her name is Melanie Cooper”
“But please call me Mel” she said with so much confidence. She was so beautiful much more beautiful than Chelsea.
The head teacher asked us could anyone show her around the school and like a fool I and Tom put our hands up so we were chosen to give her a tour around the school she was a nice girl don’t get me wrong but she seemed so different.

When it was lunch me and my mates and Mel were eating our traditional Hamburger and chips on Thursdays, a announcement was made about the school prom it was going to be held in two weeks and I haven’t even got a date I wished that my date would be Sean but I that would never be possible but then Sean came to our table but he had never ever came before and started talking by the look of Chelsea’s face you could tell she was jealous.

 But he wasn’t talking to me he was talking to Mel that’s great I’ve been here for 3 years and he doesn’t even no my name and hardly talks to me but he goes and talks to Mel and he was looking at her the way I looked at him with love I couldn’t believe it, it was her first day of school and she already had got the man I loved falling in love with her

I like the way that you make a book and get everyone else to express themselves including yourself because you get more then one author on the book which is interesting to read about.
(:

I thought I had found someone even though I knew at frist it was falwed I still wanted it and I tired hard to keep it then I broke it and then ran for the glue but then it got sticky and it was ok then I broke it agian and then when I relzied what I was doing she went and droped it and  never reached 4 the glue and then I was left with all these feelings I never knew I had I guess i put all this in a box and now then when I lookl back I think I was in love but then it really wasnt my love she never liked certian things and here I am felling all this pain and now I have blocked her but still here I am thinkiing about her over and over again

I am a man who is tired of looking for what seems to be the impossible dream the dream that I think we all have some find it and hold on to it forever but here I am just wishing I could find it but I never do I am still sereching for the person thats supposed to love me and where is she I never see her anywhere