i have a song called " back bitaz " that will feature the o.j's. And it begins like. intro: dey smile in yo face-echo delay-dont ,dont,dont,dont,dont,-don't-[what dey do]-2 voices tracked.-repeat for a total of 4 bars. hook:[ dey smile in yo face]-3 voices tracked all da time dey wanna take yo place, dem back bitaz,[back bitaz]-3voices tracked. bridge:" when i'm walkin down da street, i'm seein dem back bitaz, and when i'm trying to eat, i'm hearin dem back bitaz,maybe when i go to sleep, continous back bitaz,and if i deal with a freak, entourages of back bitaz. repeat hook. verse one: never in my life have i been around so many hataz,/ dey tryna knock me off, and eat me like a pack of gators /[ chump!,chump!], i don't know why, maybe cause i'm the besta,,/ dey like da adams family ta me, wit uncle fester. I'm a typa guy,,/ dat'll give my shirt off back a,/ it ain't enough cause dey keep comin around me,/ when dey smoke dat cracka,/ i think dese people are sick, even demented,/ now dey loosin all dey strength,,/ like popeye witout his spinach. recite second hook-a total of 4 bars-

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I will lay off the symbols a bit and will chk out deleting 'now' also. Not sure yet. Thanks for reading and responding. I appreciate it. Vinita

JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND SAY... LOVE THE FLOW OF THIS PROJECT!

Good effort, but I don't think there's enough here to make a book yet.

wow good stuff keep up brother

ooooooomg, i love this poem! i just, for the life of me, want to know why you have the word "now" at the end of "let me sleep". i read it once with the "now" and once without the "now" and i liked it better without. but that aside, this was amazing!

I always enjoy the dark side if a writers mind where their secrets and true identity dwells.  Yeah we all do boil a different degrees figuratively but literally it is all about the same.  Lay off the symbols a bit.