Book Info
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Project Leader:
pattimari
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
All Participants (Closed) -
Category:
Poetry -
Genre:
General -
Language:
English
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Rip Roaring Poems By Top Various Writers
Rip Roaring Poems By Various Top Writers
POST 10 POEMS AT THE MOST, NO LONGER THAN 20 LINES.
CAP ALL TITLES
SPELL CHECK BEFORE POSTING
POST 10 POEMS AT THE MOST, NO LONGER THAN 20 LINES.
CAP ALL TITLES
SPELL CHECK BEFORE POSTING
GIVE FEEDBACK
As I read your poem, I felt I was there with you seeing the things you saw, feeling the things you felt. I wanted to help you rebuild that fall garden into a brite spring gay place. Why not go back and add what you could do to make your home brite and beautiful, or do you wqish to remember it as it was.
SAB
SAB
Not often does free verse wrap itself around me as fully as this did. There is a magic to the mood of this, and an extraordinary beauty in the turns of phrase and imagery I find within. Clearly the magic of the house is woven into this piece.
BidDaddyCash, not an educated judge of the quality of my poem or the story you read is something I find hard to believe; I've read your writings, and I'd say you are the best! It's refreshing to read your material. I can't seem to get enough. At any rate, thanks for you comments and I'll try to work on being too descriptive with my writing. Being a therapist I suspect I want to make myself understood.
I'm impressed and happy you went on to read chapter two. Thank you. And by the way, I told my husband his books have to go on the back shelve and he laughed.
I'm impressed and happy you went on to read chapter two. Thank you. And by the way, I told my husband his books have to go on the back shelve and he laughed.
A short story can have more than one purpose which becomes clear to the reader through the tone and style of writing. Pattimari, I’m not an educated judge of the quality of poem or a story that I read. If I can’t get the feel of a story within the first few pages I’ll set it aside and find something to read where I feel comfortable. Your story has given me a warm feeling that means that I can feel myself inside the story. Sometimes I think you are a little to descriptive but that’s definitely your style and that’s something the reader can accept if you keep them involved. You asked me if I’d read the first chapter but you had my attention so I read both chapters. That’s good. Tone down a little on your description of things that don’t relate to the plot and I think you’ll gain the appeal of more readers. Now! I also read your book on poems I left a submission on In Love With the Old Evelyn House. I noticed that Tamara Lesley started out with “Live for the Moment” so I left “Moments Alone” I felt that the two titles went hand and glove. Since Tamara and I are good friends I felt that was apropos. Good Luck with your book and tell your husband to put his 18 books on the back shelve that your book goes on the front shelve.
Thank you RC. Your comment pleased me and your suggestions were helpful. Thank you! As you can see, I've made some changes; tell me what you think or if you see more need to be done. Sometimes, it's difficult to see what the reader sees. At any rate, it was very helpful and made me feel good the way you commented. Thank you.
Pattimari- I loved this poem. As a gardener and home owner I was drawn in by your wonderful descriptions. Your use of imagery is unbelievably vivid. My favorite parts were: "The vivaciousness of a scent~ oh yes! I followed me even here
where I truly was receiving". I like the word vivacious used with scent. Also the "ghost of a gal" in an almost "supernatural" fight to become what she once was, is a unique idea. My only criticism is punctuation and phrasing. I think some of the ideas need to be divided by stanzas for clarity. Also some kind of stop (period dash etc) would be helpful to unify your thoughts. Without them the poem has a nice stream of consciousness effect, but with a select few I think you can keep the effect and add to your clarity. I hope this is useful. Beautifully done-RC
where I truly was receiving". I like the word vivacious used with scent. Also the "ghost of a gal" in an almost "supernatural" fight to become what she once was, is a unique idea. My only criticism is punctuation and phrasing. I think some of the ideas need to be divided by stanzas for clarity. Also some kind of stop (period dash etc) would be helpful to unify your thoughts. Without them the poem has a nice stream of consciousness effect, but with a select few I think you can keep the effect and add to your clarity. I hope this is useful. Beautifully done-RC
Thanks jannpa, it was indeed an old house; built in 1923 and was in perfect shape with a pool that I could see out my living room and feel as if I was at the beach or at a lake. I do go back and look at it since I've sold it.
Thank you Tamara, It was a poem written from the heart, and I'm glad it lead you on. I no longer live in that house; I sold it and bought a new home that suited me much more since I got married.
I did go to view your projects; enjoyed them termendously and intend to go back and read more. I like your style, I love what you have to say. You reach out and encourage people. Thanks.
Pattimari
I did go to view your projects; enjoyed them termendously and intend to go back and read more. I like your style, I love what you have to say. You reach out and encourage people. Thanks.
Pattimari
I enjoyed reading this, made me think of some of the old houses that I lived in and left but would love to be able to go back....nice work
I found your poem endearing and leading me on to finish reading it. It is a very engaging poem, almost a mystery until the end. I am happy that you found this house and that it is where you met yourself. Good for you and good luck in the future. Sincerely, Tamara0449
I would like to invite you to visit my site at: 'A Chosen Journey,'
You may find it on page 5 of Health, Mind and Body under Projects. I promise that you will enjoy what you read and will want to read more. Sincerely, Tamara0449
I would like to invite you to visit my site at: 'A Chosen Journey,'
You may find it on page 5 of Health, Mind and Body under Projects. I promise that you will enjoy what you read and will want to read more. Sincerely, Tamara0449
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