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Project Leader:
nrhatch
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Who Can Write:
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Category:
Poetry -
Genre:
General -
Language:
English
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Island Musings (nrhatch)
The moon glows as ghosts roam . . . "All Hallow's Eve."
Shine forth, without apology . . . "Mimic Not the Swan."
Nothing slows the passage of time . . . "Moments Slip Away."
Shine forth, without apology . . . "Mimic Not the Swan."
Nothing slows the passage of time . . . "Moments Slip Away."
GIVE FEEDBACK
4/8/2010 3:08 PM PDT
Congratulations on the win!!
Brandi
Brandi
10/8/2009 4:04 PM PDT
Congrats!
~Courtney
~Courtney
9/23/2009 3:18 PM PDT
congratulations to you, also and thank you for your sweet thoughts.
8/29/2009 5:45 AM PDT
i love this one... you can feel the emotions and events!
This Feedback was...
8/29/2009 5:07 AM PDT
I liked these. I had to read them a couple of times to make sense of them - I think thevarying forms can confuse a little - and I was surprised by the brevity of your second poem. It is a powerful message. Is it a haiku? There are some lovely images, especially in the 'All Hallow's Eve'. The second two definite make reader stop and think.
As I said, I like these: they fill and provoke the mind. You have my vote. Good luck!
As I said, I like these: they fill and provoke the mind. You have my vote. Good luck!
This Feedback was...
8/28/2009 9:45 PM PDT
great work.
very expressive and unique .
very expressive and unique .
This Feedback was...
8/28/2009 10:37 AM PDT
I enjoyed all three pieces you gave and the variety. The second submission was so striking in it's simplicity but strong in message. You have my vote and support. Best of luck to you!
This Feedback was...
8/27/2009 11:26 PM PDT
Unique! Good luck :)
All Hallow`s Eve is enchanting
All Hallow`s Eve is enchanting
This Feedback was...
8/27/2009 12:31 PM PDT
I loved the message in captured in Mimic not the Swan- it's my favorite :-)
You have my vote.
http://www.webook.com/project/Blackened-Rose
You have my vote.
http://www.webook.com/project/Blackened-Rose
This Feedback was...
8/27/2009 10:57 AM PDT
Interesting collection, not easy writing short poetry but you done an admirable job.
The very best of luck with the vote.
http://www.webook.com/project/My-3-Emotive-Entries
The very best of luck with the vote.
http://www.webook.com/project/My-3-Emotive-Entries
This Feedback was...
8/27/2009 7:45 AM PDT
This is extremely beautiful nr. Very poignant, expertly put together, but not feeling contrived. It's tricky to please me with poetry thesedays. If there's anything that's wrong, it just puts me off. There was nothing wrong here, just a beautiful moment, well captured.
Lovely.
Lovely.
This Feedback was...
8/26/2009 9:27 PM PDT
This poem has great rhythm !! I liked it.
This Feedback was...
8/26/2009 9:18 PM PDT
Love them, great writings!
:~)
:~)
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8/26/2009 7:07 PM PDT
Good read, different and uniue, but still a vote!
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8/26/2009 4:14 PM PDT
Enjoyed all three poems. Thought Mimic Not the Swan was original and invoked vivid imagery and emotion. A yes vote from me.
This Feedback was...
8/26/2009 1:31 PM PDT
i voted. Good luck! :)
-sarah♥
-sarah♥
This Feedback was...
8/26/2009 12:27 PM PDT
good luck hun x
This Feedback was...
8/26/2009 11:50 AM PDT
Woow... This is brilliant in his shortness and in its content. Well done!
This Feedback was...
8/26/2009 11:45 AM PDT
yes from me
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8/25/2009 5:59 PM PDT
Mimic not is great!
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8/23/2009 2:23 PM PDT
Thanks for all your support!
8/21/2009 8:26 AM PDT
Nice stuff. The last stanza especially really resonated with me. The overly full life without depth or reflection.
This Feedback was...
8/21/2009 6:49 AM PDT
Great, now please return the favor and vote for me too.
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8/21/2009 4:31 AM PDT
Great read.
This Feedback was...
8/20/2009 3:09 PM PDT
Imagery:
I enjoy All Hallows Eve... I could feel the moon shining down on me...
I enjoy All Hallows Eve... I could feel the moon shining down on me...
This Feedback was...
8/20/2009 12:21 PM PDT
It must be thousands of photos to fill that much space, and if one has that great amount, the treasure does go away and the importance of having them as well.
Of the three poems , I put this in the middle in term of quality or mastery of verse or poetry. I think the first one is the best.
Of the three poems , I put this in the middle in term of quality or mastery of verse or poetry. I think the first one is the best.
This Feedback was...
8/20/2009 12:14 PM PDT
Short poems are hard to write well, and more so when they are this short as yours is.
I believe this piece needs a bit more. As it stands right now, it does not say much, and what it says is not ckear in it saying it.
I believe this piece needs a bit more. As it stands right now, it does not say much, and what it says is not ckear in it saying it.
This Feedback was...
8/20/2009 12:10 PM PDT
The vocabulary here is suitable for that day in the year: "All Hallow`s Eve, but the poem could read better if there were some type of punctuation in those key places. A person not used to reading poetry might get confused in some places in this poem.
This poem is good and I think it does a good job in saying what it wants to say.
By the way, check some of my stuff on the site.
This poem is good and I think it does a good job in saying what it wants to say.
By the way, check some of my stuff on the site.
This Feedback was...
8/20/2009 9:15 AM PDT
Great poems. Yes from me...
http://www.webook.com/project/poetlyric
If you get chance please check my submissions out.
Thanks and good luck!!
x
http://www.webook.com/project/poetlyric
If you get chance please check my submissions out.
Thanks and good luck!!
x
This Feedback was...
8/20/2009 7:28 AM PDT
Reminds me of when Lennon met Yoko. Of what he saw in one simple word: Peace. Yes you have my vote.
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8/19/2009 11:59 PM PDT
Brief and to the point, just like I like 'em
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8/19/2009 3:07 PM PDT
I like your style!
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8/19/2009 3:01 PM PDT
good luck.
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8/19/2009 2:31 PM PDT
I really like the balance in your work. Very good you got my vote.
Would you be willing to take a look at my submission?
http://www.webook.com/project/Three-from-Me
Would you be willing to take a look at my submission?
http://www.webook.com/project/Three-from-Me
This Feedback was...
8/19/2009 2:04 PM PDT
Very nice work...
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8/18/2009 12:41 PM PDT
You are very talented! The way your poetry flows, and your use of imagery is so elegant. I especially like your last poem, because it's something everyone can relate too, I think. Keep on writing! :3
This Feedback was...
8/17/2009 2:02 PM PDT
your poetry is very easy to understand and is very unique! I voted for you
This Feedback was...
8/17/2009 10:52 AM PDT
excellent poems! these are great!
my project: http://www.webook.com/project/Poetree's-Best
my project: http://www.webook.com/project/Poetree's-Best
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8/17/2009 10:47 AM PDT
nicely done. i love the haiku form.
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8/17/2009 8:12 AM PDT
these are enjoyable. ty for the invite to take a look.
should you be so inclined, I'd appreciate a look at mine as well.
ty
http://www.webook.com/project/My-best-3-809-jwd
should you be so inclined, I'd appreciate a look at mine as well.
ty
http://www.webook.com/project/My-best-3-809-jwd
This Feedback was...
8/17/2009 7:56 AM PDT
Nancy,
As always, you're still exercising your exceptional command of the language in your own unique and introspective style...
Publish and WRITE ON...!
Joanne:-)
As always, you're still exercising your exceptional command of the language in your own unique and introspective style...
Publish and WRITE ON...!
Joanne:-)
This Feedback was...
8/17/2009 1:06 AM PDT
I love Mimic not the swan.
Simply Elegant.
You have my vote.
I you have time,please check mine out too;
http://www.webook.com/project/Born-of-The-Sun
Simply Elegant.
You have my vote.
I you have time,please check mine out too;
http://www.webook.com/project/Born-of-The-Sun
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 11:53 PM PDT
You've incorporated a lot of imagery in your three poems which is good. You have my vote!!!! Nice Job! Hope you all the best!
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 7:59 PM PDT
General:
I feel you did a great job. Well done. My favourite is "All Hallow's Eve" because the images you create in each line paint a very elegant picture of a very playful Halloween night, that I can relate to quite well.
Form:
You form actually surprised me slightly as it was completely different from other forms of poetry that I have seen before.
What really stood out to me in your form was mainly the Haiku stanzas in "Moments Slip Away", and how you disguised "Mimic Not the Swan" so that it was not easily distinguished as a Haiku. (I hope that made sense ;p)
Content:
For All Hallow's Eve:
I found the content to be fairly universal and well put. It almost seems like a story is unfolding with each line.
For Mimic Not the Swan:
I found myself for the first bit asking, "Is that it?"
Although when I reread it and asked what it was you were trying to portray in these few words, I realized there is a lot more to this poem than meets the eye. For example in the last line, "The stars watch you shine." It's a complete reversal from what I expected, as I would find beauty in watching the stars shine. I'm not sure I completely understand this one, although I like how it raised question in me.
For Moments Slip Away:
I felt that in the first line an image was raised, in the second line it was slightly explained in aspects of the present, and in the third it seems to fade.
Also you did this in four separate Haiku formatted stanzas, which was pretty amazing.
Imagery:
Great Job, a picture was painted in my mind in reading each poem ;)
Tone:
I found the tone to be quite wise and elegant.
Musicality:
The rhythm was quite slow, I found this added patience to each poem, and increased the tone quite well.
Publish =p Well done.
I feel you did a great job. Well done. My favourite is "All Hallow's Eve" because the images you create in each line paint a very elegant picture of a very playful Halloween night, that I can relate to quite well.
Form:
You form actually surprised me slightly as it was completely different from other forms of poetry that I have seen before.
What really stood out to me in your form was mainly the Haiku stanzas in "Moments Slip Away", and how you disguised "Mimic Not the Swan" so that it was not easily distinguished as a Haiku. (I hope that made sense ;p)
Content:
For All Hallow's Eve:
I found the content to be fairly universal and well put. It almost seems like a story is unfolding with each line.
For Mimic Not the Swan:
I found myself for the first bit asking, "Is that it?"
Although when I reread it and asked what it was you were trying to portray in these few words, I realized there is a lot more to this poem than meets the eye. For example in the last line, "The stars watch you shine." It's a complete reversal from what I expected, as I would find beauty in watching the stars shine. I'm not sure I completely understand this one, although I like how it raised question in me.
For Moments Slip Away:
I felt that in the first line an image was raised, in the second line it was slightly explained in aspects of the present, and in the third it seems to fade.
Also you did this in four separate Haiku formatted stanzas, which was pretty amazing.
Imagery:
Great Job, a picture was painted in my mind in reading each poem ;)
Tone:
I found the tone to be quite wise and elegant.
Musicality:
The rhythm was quite slow, I found this added patience to each poem, and increased the tone quite well.
Publish =p Well done.
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 7:59 PM PDT
Nice work. A yes vote from me.
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 7:38 PM PDT
Great image of the head hanging low. Straight and to the point. I like it!
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 6:01 PM PDT
good stuff
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8/16/2009 1:16 PM PDT
I like the question at the end of Moments Slip Away, that always seems to be really effective in poetry, least it does with me, makes me pause and dwell for a bit. All the best hun x
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 1:12 PM PDT
I love all hallows eve. I a sucker for good rhymes. and you've got pretty good ones too. here's my vote, thanks for the link
here's the link to my poetry (please vote)
http://www.webook.com/project/Oppression-Hope-Freedom
here's the link to my poetry (please vote)
http://www.webook.com/project/Oppression-Hope-Freedom
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 11:26 AM PDT
My only problem with your pieces is that they're too short! I would have loved to see more detail about All Hallows Eve, more descriptions about what the night entails, etc. The poem is still great, though and I enjoyed it. I just wish I could have enjoyed it longer. I felt the same about the other two, but I still think you are a talented writer and deserve publication. Even if you don't get published this time around, I'd love to see more poems that you've worked on (and maybe longer versions of these? :D). Good luck!
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 10:13 AM PDT
You are an amazing writer, I must say, Very talented. You have a nice way of conveying your imagination and mingled with your heart, the results is worthy of praise. So here goes...Great job! :) The project is rightly named, however I do think the first poem was the most appropriate for the contest; while the other two seemed less than complete in some way. Please do not take me the wrong way. I loved all of tthem, especially the 2nd one, " Mimic not the swan." The part I don't see in this one, is whats on the title page, "Shine forth, without apology . . . "Mimic Not the Swan."
I really liked that line. I feel there may be a more complete work in there somewhere. . However that is only my opinion, it is fine as it stands. Good luck, I voted you in.
http://www.webook.com/poetry.aspx?p=ac366f04cc1f4161a8d81d0459a3ca18&sit=0f90dedfc2464186a7dff3c3999f86dd
This is a link to one of my entry's in the poem contest, At the bottom of the page is a link to my other projects. Some of them while not conventional poems you may relate well too....Or not. Anyway you have a very strong project and a great chance of being selected. Till next time.... Peace...>*
I really liked that line. I feel there may be a more complete work in there somewhere. . However that is only my opinion, it is fine as it stands. Good luck, I voted you in.
http://www.webook.com/poetry.aspx?p=ac366f04cc1f4161a8d81d0459a3ca18&sit=0f90dedfc2464186a7dff3c3999f86dd
This is a link to one of my entry's in the poem contest, At the bottom of the page is a link to my other projects. Some of them while not conventional poems you may relate well too....Or not. Anyway you have a very strong project and a great chance of being selected. Till next time.... Peace...>*
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 10:12 AM PDT
Brief, concise and curt,
A trio known for brevity.
Thy poems shall not hurt,
If read to carry levity.
A trio known for brevity.
Thy poems shall not hurt,
If read to carry levity.
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 8:27 AM PDT
Very good,
Best of luck
Best of luck
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8/16/2009 8:17 AM PDT
Really interesting poems that have a certainy mystery and even creepiness that's hard to describe. When reading the poems they sound like that of a child's rhyme or a long-forgotten poetry, which made them all the more fun to read.
I really enjoyed all three of these, and while some may say having a two-line poem is two short, I say stick with it. I haven't seen anyone else write something like that, and I think it's a bold and daring move that says what it needs to and that's all.
Anyways, you definitely have my vote and I really hope these get published. They're some of the best I've seen yet!
http://www.webook.com/poetry.aspx?p=48d1005587754888aa7317289a6909d9&sit=fb986093d902480da6e4eaf4d867f02f
I really enjoyed all three of these, and while some may say having a two-line poem is two short, I say stick with it. I haven't seen anyone else write something like that, and I think it's a bold and daring move that says what it needs to and that's all.
Anyways, you definitely have my vote and I really hope these get published. They're some of the best I've seen yet!
http://www.webook.com/poetry.aspx?p=48d1005587754888aa7317289a6909d9&sit=fb986093d902480da6e4eaf4d867f02f
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 7:35 AM PDT
Your poetry was very interesting...I could picture it in my mind's eye. Good Luck!
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 6:13 AM PDT
ps: I mean "Moments Slip Away"
This Feedback was...
8/16/2009 6:12 AM PDT
yes, out of your trilogy this poem has to be my favourite, I like your imagery a lot here.
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 5:55 PM PDT
I really liked Moments. It was a very nostalgic piece. Thank you for the invite, and if you dont mind, please check out mine:
http://www.webook.com/project/Timeless-Trilogy
http://www.webook.com/project/Timeless-Trilogy
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 5:45 PM PDT
You should definitely publish, you've got my vote! 'All Hallow's Eve' was my favourite too, I loved the flow of it and the imagery.
Good Luck!
Hazel x
Good Luck!
Hazel x
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 5:39 PM PDT
"All Hallow's Eye" would be my fave, publish
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 3:32 PM PDT
Nicely done.
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8/15/2009 2:19 PM PDT
My favorite was Moments Slip Away, I think I can most readily identify with that one. It's hard to tell the best way to live our lives, but it is nice to have something to drudge up old memories before you go. I also like Mimic Not the Swan, but I couldn't really get into the Halloween one. I will click the publish button in hopes that webook will take care of the former two.
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 1:40 PM PDT
i like the content of the last one, but feel the deliniation could be better.
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8/15/2009 1:04 PM PDT
Good work, I vote publish! Plz return the favor if you like my work.
http://www.webook.com/project/Poem-of-the-stars
http://www.webook.com/project/Poem-of-the-stars
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 10:37 AM PDT
I really liked 'Moments slip away' it is by far the strongest of the trio.
All Hallows Eve, I wanted to like but it left me wanting. There are some great lines in it, like the first line, but I think it needs more atmosphere, its not spooky enough.
When I get some time I'm going to look at some of your other poems, see if I can find some more treasures like moments.
Good luck with the vote.
All Hallows Eve, I wanted to like but it left me wanting. There are some great lines in it, like the first line, but I think it needs more atmosphere, its not spooky enough.
When I get some time I'm going to look at some of your other poems, see if I can find some more treasures like moments.
Good luck with the vote.
This Feedback was...
8/15/2009 9:33 AM PDT
I loved your poems! The flow was wonderful, and the wording rich! You have my vote!
Anna
Anna
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 10:42 PM PDT
Brilliant! You're poems are really meaningful! I particularly liked the last one Moments Slip Away as it puts a very vivid image into my head and portrays the message that perhaps we should forget our past? Stop remembering the ghosts of our past and just move on? Or maybe it portrays the message that perhaps we should hold on instead? Hold on to everything that has happened in our life because it all means something? I don't know, it's just a hunch but it really made me think and I definitely think that you have a great chance of publishing! I'm always happy to read and comment on anybody's work so just ask me at any time and I will definitely be voting for this, you've done a fantastic job and I think you'll go far with poetry! Good luck!
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 6:56 PM PDT
I particularly like the last two, and as strange as it might seem, the second one brought to my mind Debussy's sounds, and as much as I tried to remember seeing a real swan reaching for the stars, no such image seemed to be stored in my memory. You have created a very beautiful and unique image, deep and philosophical, in which, on the one hand, our eyes are directed to look downwards, and on the other hand, our eyes are directed to look upwards, an image, philosophically speaking, might bring to one's mind Raphael's School of Athens, in which Aristotle and Plato are portrayed as having exactly these two opposing gestures; and you seem to me to be more on the side of Plato. I shall stop here, or else I might be tempted to write about the platonic forms and the not moving mover, in short I might be tempted to write an essay about it.
Beautiful. Publish.
Beautiful. Publish.
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 5:08 PM PDT
These are lovely. Good luck with the contest.
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 5:00 PM PDT
voted to publish! great job!
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8/14/2009 3:33 PM PDT
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8/14/2009 2:08 PM PDT
Forgot to mention, if you want to look at my submission it is here:
http://www.webook.com/project/My-Poems-For-a-Poetry-Contest
http://www.webook.com/project/My-Poems-For-a-Poetry-Contest
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 2:07 PM PDT
My favorite is the "Moments Slip Away" - it really talked to me, I could relate to it. Loved the imagery there and the flow as well.
Vote publish.
Vote publish.
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8/14/2009 2:07 PM PDT
What?! How did it get on all three?? Oh well. Sorry for so much feedback! I didn't know it was going on all three!!
I really like the first one, it made me laugh!
The second one kinda made me feel small, but special.
The third one was a perfect finish.
Definitely have my vote.
I really like the first one, it made me laugh!
The second one kinda made me feel small, but special.
The third one was a perfect finish.
Definitely have my vote.
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 2:05 PM PDT
When I say one, I mean WEbook.
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8/14/2009 2:05 PM PDT
I really like this one. It's very meaningful.
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8/14/2009 2:01 PM PDT
All three are worthy submission. Theme, mesage, word choice, are all in accord. Thanks for the read
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8/14/2009 1:56 PM PDT
One was ok, 2 I didn't care for but I've yet to find a haiku that I did like. Three, I loved. I don't pretend to know poetry Nance, so take my likes and dislikes with a grain of salt. All I have to go by is my feelings of what I like and what I don't like. I love the imagery that you put into that one. The way it makes you think and remember your own past. It is so poignant and thought provoking. I'd definitely love to see it in print. I vote publilsh. Well done.
This Feedback was...
8/14/2009 11:34 AM PDT
Really good poems! My fav' is Moments slip away.
Good luck :)
Good luck :)
This Feedback was...
8/13/2009 5:43 PM PDT
hello there, all hallows eve is an amazing poetic tale, and I think a majority favourite, I enjoyed this trio very much, you have been such an active member here and supported people with feeback and advice, it is my pleasure to support you in this vote, and to support you as a poet, very good luck, Dante
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8/13/2009 4:17 PM PDT
Excellent stuff, really liked the short but sweet approach :)
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8/13/2009 12:40 PM PDT
'All Hallow's Eve' is a sensational poem!
'Ghosts and goblins you must appease'...that is a great line.
These poems are a perfect length, almost leaving you wishing for more, but the shortness of 'Mimic not the swan' is appropriate and unique.
'Moments slip away' is 4 perfect little verses about the past...I love them all.
Morbid
(forever fascinated)
'Ghosts and goblins you must appease'...that is a great line.
These poems are a perfect length, almost leaving you wishing for more, but the shortness of 'Mimic not the swan' is appropriate and unique.
'Moments slip away' is 4 perfect little verses about the past...I love them all.
Morbid
(forever fascinated)
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8/13/2009 8:47 AM PDT
Mimic Not the swan is very unique, i was unsure at first but reading it again it really speaks to you. You can have many different veiws on this, what it means, and i think that is what poetry is about. Well done, im voting yes.
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8/13/2009 8:46 AM PDT
Lovey descriptions and imagery. Perfect grammar and spelling. Great :D
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8/13/2009 6:23 AM PDT
Excellent!
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8/13/2009 4:01 AM PDT
Most definitely publish! I loved 'All Hallow's Eve' and 'Moments Slip Away'. Really great writing. *#*
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8/12/2009 9:33 PM PDT
Grand work. Publish
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8/12/2009 8:52 PM PDT
Yes! I voted for it.
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8/12/2009 8:03 PM PDT
Very good poems, indeed. I voted.
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8/12/2009 7:09 PM PDT
Great poems! I loved the rhyming scheme on All hallows eve, and the deep thoughts of moments slip away made it a beautiful poem. Fantastic!
=) lucy
=) lucy
This Feedback was...
8/12/2009 5:13 PM PDT
I voted.
8/12/2009 4:13 PM PDT
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8/12/2009 4:07 PM PDT
lovely
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8/12/2009 3:53 PM PDT
Like the descriptive poem of Halloween.
Enjoyed all of them the last was my favourite, i could visualise an attic or old dusty house filled with boxes of photo's and bursting bookcases, As if poking around somewhere we really shouldn't be but just can't help ourselves.
Enjoyed all of them the last was my favourite, i could visualise an attic or old dusty house filled with boxes of photo's and bursting bookcases, As if poking around somewhere we really shouldn't be but just can't help ourselves.
This Feedback was...
8/12/2009 2:54 PM PDT
I also like short and to the point poems, that is, if there is a point; very poetic. publish.
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8/12/2009 2:29 PM PDT
short, sweet and very much to the point. Very poignant in places too. a definite "yes" from me
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8/12/2009 2:08 PM PDT
Short but very lovely i realy enjoyed these poems
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8/12/2009 1:50 PM PDT
wonderful ! xxxxx
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8/12/2009 1:43 PM PDT
Absolutely lovely.
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8/12/2009 1:34 PM PDT
That was beautiful
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8/12/2009 1:32 PM PDT
It was very visual! I liked it!
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8/12/2009 1:01 PM PDT
good!
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8/12/2009 12:42 PM PDT
I love the writing style(:
If you get a chance, check out my poems for the contest?
http://www.webook.com/project/In-That-Old-Shoebox
If you get a chance, check out my poems for the contest?
http://www.webook.com/project/In-That-Old-Shoebox
This Feedback was...
8/11/2009 10:08 AM PDT
An excellent collection. don't let it slip away ! : )
This Feedback was...
8/10/2009 4:33 AM PDT
you got my vote moments slip away :)
This Feedback was...
8/9/2009 9:59 PM PDT
YES!!!! PUBLISH PUBLISH PUBLISH! You got skills woman! I like your style!
http://www.webook.com/project/Memory-Milk-in-3-Glasses
http://www.webook.com/project/Memory-Milk-in-3-Glasses
This Feedback was...
8/9/2009 9:57 PM PDT
Very nice indeed! I particularly liked Moments Slip Away and how it really captures the feeling of looking through old photographs. Mimic Not the Swan is actually a lovely haiku, although you have not presented it in the traditional 3 line form.
This Feedback was...
8/9/2009 3:50 PM PDT
Wonderful! A yes vote!
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 11:17 PM PDT
"Moments Slip Away" was my favorite, but I'm left wanting to stay in the dream. I felt at ease when I read these poems...good job!!!
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 10:16 PM PDT
A yes for sure! "Moments Slip Away" is my favorite (although they are all very good). The poem is like a "treasured moment" but one that will not "crumble back to dust," unlike those poor ghosts. You touch a very key and crucial question of our behavior as humans, and how we hold on to things, trying to capture and immortalize the fleeting present. Reading this I can almost smell the mustiness of archived memories. The ending, open question is a perfect way to invite the reader to ponder what was just read. You have left the reader up in that attic, alone with these decaying memories, wondering "why"?
"Mimic Not The Swan" is clever in its shortness and the great use of the image of the swan in contrast with what the poem invites the reader to do instead: hold your head up high! "All Hallow's Eve" has an interesting structure, and each verse, though short, says a lot. Great work!!!
"Mimic Not The Swan" is clever in its shortness and the great use of the image of the swan in contrast with what the poem invites the reader to do instead: hold your head up high! "All Hallow's Eve" has an interesting structure, and each verse, though short, says a lot. Great work!!!
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 1:09 PM PDT
I rather enjoyed your poems... I'm not sure I liked "All Hallow's Eve" that much, but "Mimic Not the Swan" was wonderful.
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 12:07 PM PDT
Love mimic not the swan, short, sweet and meaningful :) you definitely have my vote! :)
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 11:56 AM PDT
moments slip away is my fav as well good work I vote yes
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 11:16 AM PDT
Moments Slip Away is my favourite of the three.
http://www.webook.com/project/My-Top-Three
http://www.webook.com/project/My-Top-Three
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 10:40 AM PDT
These were very nice my friend. A yes vote for me.
Good luck with the vote!
~A.J
Good luck with the vote!
~A.J
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 10:26 AM PDT
"All Hallow's Eve" is the one I like most out of the three. I think that piece would make the perfect Halloween special. I like the way you convey the holiday with your words. My vote is in.
~Half Pint
~Half Pint
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 5:21 AM PDT
Sorry for the late feedback, actually I have already made my vote last wednesday =)
This Feedback was...
8/8/2009 1:45 AM PDT
I love the first poem! So fun, so light, so simple. publish : )
This Feedback was...
8/7/2009 9:33 PM PDT
Great work. Quite enjoyable. If you have not already, I would appreciate it if you could have a look at my project and vote also. You can find it here: http://www.webook.com/poetry.aspx?p=797b196d175e443c811c0312ed65860c. Good luck.
Keep up the awesomeness, indeed.
Keep up the awesomeness, indeed.
This Feedback was...
8/7/2009 4:04 PM PDT
All Hallow's Eve is my favourite poem in the vote so far, including mine!
This Feedback was...
8/7/2009 1:30 PM PDT
General:
A lovely ending.
Content:
It evokes an attic.
Imagery:
Great imagery, specially "time-worn antique ladder shelves".
A lovely ending.
Content:
It evokes an attic.
Imagery:
Great imagery, specially "time-worn antique ladder shelves".
This Feedback was...
8/7/2009 11:44 AM PDT
good expressions. very cute and good.
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 6:28 PM PDT
Great work and a yes from me. This deserves to be published! Good luck!
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 4:35 PM PDT
My favorite of the three is "All Hallow's Eve". As I can remember the cool evenings with huge moons in the sky of my youth and how Halloween was celebrated with a gust long since lost.
Regard 'Mimic Not the Swan' it is a strong couple of lines when one medidates on the real meaning of the content and could be very encouraging to someone at just the right time. There is a message of Hope there.
Moments Slip Away also reaches me with the words. Perhaps it is just my mood now but I felt old after I read it.
The three of your works are worthy entries with my personal sentimenst expressed on each of them I will close letting you know I gave them a 'thumbs up'.
Omanh
Regard 'Mimic Not the Swan' it is a strong couple of lines when one medidates on the real meaning of the content and could be very encouraging to someone at just the right time. There is a message of Hope there.
Moments Slip Away also reaches me with the words. Perhaps it is just my mood now but I felt old after I read it.
The three of your works are worthy entries with my personal sentimenst expressed on each of them I will close letting you know I gave them a 'thumbs up'.
Omanh
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 2:10 PM PDT
I like your use of language here. It was cleverly done and enjoyable
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 2:03 PM PDT
Very nice pieces....I enjoyed the whimsy of All Hallows Eve and Moments Slip Away was terrific, all three good choices!
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 12:37 PM PDT
Very clever!
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 12:36 PM PDT
Your poems are lovely.
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 12:34 PM PDT
Three excellent poems, each different in tone, but all reflecting Nancy's artistic sensibilities. Yes from me.
This Feedback was...
8/6/2009 12:11 PM PDT
Love them. CF
This Feedback was...
8/5/2009 10:41 PM PDT
I say yes to PUBLISH!!!
very nice work.
good luck!
very nice work.
good luck!
This Feedback was...
8/5/2009 5:50 PM PDT
lovely poetry! i hope your work gets published!!!
http://www.webook.com/project/Three-Poems-From-My-Freshman-Year-In-High-School
http://www.webook.com/project/Three-Poems-From-My-Freshman-Year-In-High-School
This Feedback was...
8/5/2009 11:20 AM PDT
This Feedback was...
8/5/2009 11:09 AM PDT
interesting work,the second one seemed a little short, I liked them all though, I voted yes
This Feedback was...
8/4/2009 8:48 PM PDT
I enjoy reading these........voted!
Good luck!!
Good luck!!
This Feedback was...
8/4/2009 7:05 AM PDT
The memorable content of this poem is expressive. At the very least it conjurs up flashbacks of moments that have been left behind.
This poem is spatial. I love the "bite-size morsels melting as soon as they appear" line.
The tone is soft, like a womans touch.
I only hear the auditory beat that continues to remind me the past is now an illusion with which I have to go inside my head and make up in order to remember it.
It simple and flowing---good work Nancy.
This poem is spatial. I love the "bite-size morsels melting as soon as they appear" line.
The tone is soft, like a womans touch.
I only hear the auditory beat that continues to remind me the past is now an illusion with which I have to go inside my head and make up in order to remember it.
It simple and flowing---good work Nancy.
This Feedback was...
8/4/2009 6:23 AM PDT
Great writes...voted! Good luck.
http://www.webook.com/project/My-Best-Three-Poems-WEBook-2009
Shah. X
http://www.webook.com/project/My-Best-Three-Poems-WEBook-2009
Shah. X
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 4:39 PM PDT
Great stuff. This is some of the best poetry I've read in this project so far.
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 2:30 PM PDT
Great poetry, hope you do well in the vote!
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 12:57 PM PDT
This is the way good writing should be; short & to the point.
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 11:25 AM PDT
[poetic beauty my friend agreat reading you have good poetry here best of luck have many more to read god bless mike
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 10:08 AM PDT
Publish!!!!!!!
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 8:24 AM PDT
i vote that your work be published.
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 6:58 AM PDT
publish!
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 6:31 AM PDT
Best of luck
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 6:03 AM PDT
"Moments slip away" is a particularly lovely piece.
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 5:48 AM PDT
I love the feel to this. I am feeling shakespearean when I read this. I love it.
hugs,
mel
publish!
hugs,
mel
publish!
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 4:44 AM PDT
Lovely work...
voted....
voted....
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 2:34 AM PDT
these poems are pretty cool. I love the imagery and ideas you used in them. The seond one is so simple and lovely. I cast my vote for you.
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 2:17 AM PDT
One of the best I seen
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 1:34 AM PDT
Thumbs up from me ...nice work, liked it.
This Feedback was...
8/3/2009 12:13 AM PDT
good luck you have my vote.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 9:38 PM PDT
Great Job. You got my vote.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 9:25 PM PDT
I voted publish. :D
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 8:41 PM PDT
I thoroughly enjoyed all three. Thumbs up!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 8:34 PM PDT
@ Jimbob -- Thanks, and I understand completely . . . brevity is the soul of wit, after all. ;-)
8/2/2009 8:24 PM PDT
Thoroughly enjoyed the rhyming in your first piece...the second piece was TOO LONG...I lost my place by time I got to the end!!!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 7:52 PM PDT
I really liked the last piece best. The middle piece is interesting work. Voted for publication. Good luck to you.
check out mine at...
http://www.webook.com/project/penbuddys-best-3-poems
check out mine at...
http://www.webook.com/project/penbuddys-best-3-poems
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 7:42 PM PDT
Well done - each poem is original. I am inclined to read all over and over again. You have my vote!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 7:16 PM PDT
"All Hallow's Eve" : I really enjoyed the imagery. You captured the feeling that Halloween (as I know it) has represented for ages.
"Mimic Not the Swan" : This is very powerful for being only two lines. I love the message. This was my favorite.
"Moments Slip Away" : I am too young to understand the feelings behind this poem, but I do appreciate the beauty of the imagery and tone.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your writing. You are a very skilled poet. Good luck in the vote!
Live . Laugh . Love,
J. Louise
"Mimic Not the Swan" : This is very powerful for being only two lines. I love the message. This was my favorite.
"Moments Slip Away" : I am too young to understand the feelings behind this poem, but I do appreciate the beauty of the imagery and tone.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your writing. You are a very skilled poet. Good luck in the vote!
Live . Laugh . Love,
J. Louise
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 6:15 PM PDT
Imagery:
Excellent.
Excellent.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 6:06 PM PDT
very interesting. i voted.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 5:54 PM PDT
Not sure about the emphasis on everything rhyming with trees, breeze etc tended to make 'All Hallows Eve' a little monotonous.
Quite interesting content and flowed easily enough so good luck with the vote!
Quite interesting content and flowed easily enough so good luck with the vote!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 4:52 PM PDT
You definitely have my vote.
You chose words excellently. It is obvious that you pay equal attention to imagery, content and form. "All Hallow's Eve " has vibrant imagery but the form and the rhythm make it original.
"Mimic not the swan" is simply great. I loved the verse "The stars watch you shine". I will definitely share this one with my students. "Moments slip away" stands out due to meticulous choice of words. The last stanza is struck the chord.
Good luck with this contention!
You chose words excellently. It is obvious that you pay equal attention to imagery, content and form. "All Hallow's Eve " has vibrant imagery but the form and the rhythm make it original.
"Mimic not the swan" is simply great. I loved the verse "The stars watch you shine". I will definitely share this one with my students. "Moments slip away" stands out due to meticulous choice of words. The last stanza is struck the chord.
Good luck with this contention!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 4:08 PM PDT
i appreciate your talent for poetry
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 4:02 PM PDT
A very strong collection. My favourite of course is 'Moments slip away'. I don't know if it's my age that helps me appreciate it.But I've stood and looked at those photos many times, and wondered about the precious time I've wasted. Beautiful, publish!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 3:45 PM PDT
General:
Mimic Poem - didn't realize it was a Haiku until I counted syllables - should rearrange lines into standard form
Form:
Need to rearrange lines
Content:
You say so much with less
Imagery:
Brilliant use of swan's neck vs a head bowed in apology
Tone:
Very positive - hopefully you wrote it for yourself - you deserve it
Musicality:
cadence - perfect haiku
Mimic Poem - didn't realize it was a Haiku until I counted syllables - should rearrange lines into standard form
Form:
Need to rearrange lines
Content:
You say so much with less
Imagery:
Brilliant use of swan's neck vs a head bowed in apology
Tone:
Very positive - hopefully you wrote it for yourself - you deserve it
Musicality:
cadence - perfect haiku
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 3:41 PM PDT
You inspire me.
I liked all three; however Mimic not the Swan left me amazed and looking at the stars.
Great job. You have my vote.
; > D,
TomMcGee
I liked all three; however Mimic not the Swan left me amazed and looking at the stars.
Great job. You have my vote.
; > D,
TomMcGee
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 3:40 PM PDT
General:
Glad that you added a poem composed of Haikus
Form:
Form - is perfect as always
Content:
final verse - although a sad testament is a brilliant ending to the previous verses of lament
Imagery:
Bite size morsels melting as soon as they appear - powerful
Tone:
Tone is intentionally regretful - but just right for the point of the poem
Musicality:
the 5-7-5 cadence is perfect as always
Glad that you added a poem composed of Haikus
Form:
Form - is perfect as always
Content:
final verse - although a sad testament is a brilliant ending to the previous verses of lament
Imagery:
Bite size morsels melting as soon as they appear - powerful
Tone:
Tone is intentionally regretful - but just right for the point of the poem
Musicality:
the 5-7-5 cadence is perfect as always
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 3:35 PM PDT
Fantastic, and a true reflection and insight into your imagination. Best of luck, nancy.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 2:46 PM PDT
Nice work! Publish!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 2:17 PM PDT
I thought the first one flows well and the imagery is good
The second one was a bit of a puzzle, I scrolled down to see if I'd missed something! lol, perhaps a bit more body to the swan? lol
The third one is great, I like the bite-size morsels reference, as a lover of photographs myself this one particularly touched me
The second one was a bit of a puzzle, I scrolled down to see if I'd missed something! lol, perhaps a bit more body to the swan? lol
The third one is great, I like the bite-size morsels reference, as a lover of photographs myself this one particularly touched me
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 2:05 PM PDT
This is good. Good Luck!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 1:54 PM PDT
All Lovely
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 1:47 PM PDT
That is amazing! The imagery of it made me actually see the moon and the spider webs. I absolutely loved it.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 1:17 PM PDT
General:
I really like your stylings ... all three are different.
Form:
All three are beautifully presented but yet unique and in sympathy to each story told.
Imagery:
1. I loved the spookiness captured so perfectly, it does indeed have you looking over your shoulder.
2, Very strong message here. Loved the short sharp subtlety
3. This was my favourite; and I think the analogies used were completely apt.
Tone:
As in 'general, I loved the individual tone in each, apt for the individual content.
Musicality:
as a siren love ... calling from an ethereal shore!
Loved it all, and think these would be a wonderful addition to the WEBook ... good job!
I really like your stylings ... all three are different.
Form:
All three are beautifully presented but yet unique and in sympathy to each story told.
Imagery:
1. I loved the spookiness captured so perfectly, it does indeed have you looking over your shoulder.
2, Very strong message here. Loved the short sharp subtlety
3. This was my favourite; and I think the analogies used were completely apt.
Tone:
As in 'general, I loved the individual tone in each, apt for the individual content.
Musicality:
as a siren love ... calling from an ethereal shore!
Loved it all, and think these would be a wonderful addition to the WEBook ... good job!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 1:15 PM PDT
voted a yes
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 1:08 PM PDT
General:
My favorite poem was the first one it was the most fun to read and left me with a smile. Thank you I wish you luck in the contest.
Form:
The author has chosen a selection from all three. The first is a ballad,2nd haiku and the 3rd I think is free verse.
Content:
The content was good.
Imagery:
The imagery was the best in the first poem. I could visualise the children running down the street then slowly moving past a bare tree in the moonlight. God Job.
Tone:
The tone was rather fast.
Musicality:
The first had a musical quality more so than the other two.
My favorite poem was the first one it was the most fun to read and left me with a smile. Thank you I wish you luck in the contest.
Form:
The author has chosen a selection from all three. The first is a ballad,2nd haiku and the 3rd I think is free verse.
Content:
The content was good.
Imagery:
The imagery was the best in the first poem. I could visualise the children running down the street then slowly moving past a bare tree in the moonlight. God Job.
Tone:
The tone was rather fast.
Musicality:
The first had a musical quality more so than the other two.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:56 PM PDT
good luck
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:38 PM PDT
Good luck with you entry.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:37 PM PDT
You have my vote Nancy!!!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:30 PM PDT
All Hallows Eve is so very descriptive, you had me looking over my shoulder as I read it, thinking that I might have a goblin staring at me from the shadows!
Mimic not the Swan is a puzzler. I'm not quite sure what to think of it!
Moments Slip Away is a wonderful reminder that life slips away fast.
II think this is a strong collection. Thanks for the invite.
Mimic not the Swan is a puzzler. I'm not quite sure what to think of it!
Moments Slip Away is a wonderful reminder that life slips away fast.
II think this is a strong collection. Thanks for the invite.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:26 PM PDT
Very descriptive, catches attention and holds it all the way through.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:17 PM PDT
Great book I voted for it
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:08 PM PDT
Imagery:
That is Halloween as it should be...a little bit scary, a lot of fun witih the season fit in superbly.
That is Halloween as it should be...a little bit scary, a lot of fun witih the season fit in superbly.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 12:04 PM PDT
thumbs up x 2
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 11:59 AM PDT
Personal I like moments slip away. It reminds how precious life really is and how important it is not to gather to ourselves objects that we think will make us happy. It's the experience of those memories that are truely important.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 11:37 AM PDT
Liked All Hallow's Eve the most. Got my vote
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 11:26 AM PDT
I like that you made this as long as it had to be and nothing more. It shows a better respect and understanding for poetry than most will ever get.
There's a bunch of devices packed into this title and two lines, as well, which allows the piece to be read on multiple levels.
There's a bunch of devices packed into this title and two lines, as well, which allows the piece to be read on multiple levels.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 10:43 AM PDT
I really like it well done! You have my vote!
P.S Good luck!
P.S Good luck!
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 10:30 AM PDT
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 10:21 AM PDT
Damn straight, publish. Moments Slip Away is my favourite, too.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 9:49 AM PDT
Three great poems.
My favourite is Moments Slip Away, as it reminds of my father (we lost him at around this time of year) and the fond moments we have captured on film.
Definately worth publishing.
My favourite is Moments Slip Away, as it reminds of my father (we lost him at around this time of year) and the fond moments we have captured on film.
Definately worth publishing.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 8:56 AM PDT
Nancy,
You never fail to deliver. I especially liked "Mimic Not the Swan".
Consider my vote delivered.
You never fail to deliver. I especially liked "Mimic Not the Swan".
Consider my vote delivered.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 8:53 AM PDT
General:
Certainly not Wordsworth, Yeats, or Keats, but enjoyable reads nonetheless.
Form:
I enjoyed the Haiku format for Moments Slip Away, and the flowing nature of All Hallow's Eve -- wisps of words, stirred by the breeze.
Content:
My favorite is Mimic Not the Swan -- it's brevity gave me a chance to focus on how it made me feel after reading it . . . quite special, as it turns out. I like the idea that the stars are watching US.
Imagery:
All Hallow's Eve creates wonderful images of trick or treaters wandering around on Halloween, with treats in one hand and toilet paper in the other.
Tone:
The tone of All Hallow's Eve is quick and it pulls you forward without stopping. In contrast, Mimic Not the Swan has a slow and steady beat.
Musicality:
While all have a lyrical musicality to them, the cadence of All Hallow's Eve is my favorite. That said, my favorite poem is Mimic Not the Swan . . . because it reminded me of the value of my inner spirit which shines stronger than the stars.
Certainly not Wordsworth, Yeats, or Keats, but enjoyable reads nonetheless.
Form:
I enjoyed the Haiku format for Moments Slip Away, and the flowing nature of All Hallow's Eve -- wisps of words, stirred by the breeze.
Content:
My favorite is Mimic Not the Swan -- it's brevity gave me a chance to focus on how it made me feel after reading it . . . quite special, as it turns out. I like the idea that the stars are watching US.
Imagery:
All Hallow's Eve creates wonderful images of trick or treaters wandering around on Halloween, with treats in one hand and toilet paper in the other.
Tone:
The tone of All Hallow's Eve is quick and it pulls you forward without stopping. In contrast, Mimic Not the Swan has a slow and steady beat.
Musicality:
While all have a lyrical musicality to them, the cadence of All Hallow's Eve is my favorite. That said, my favorite poem is Mimic Not the Swan . . . because it reminded me of the value of my inner spirit which shines stronger than the stars.
This Feedback was...
8/2/2009 8:10 AM PDT
This Feedback was...
8/1/2009 6:35 PM PDT
Three great pieces that deserve to be published...Russ♫♪♫♥♥♥
This Feedback was...
8/1/2009 11:42 AM PDT
These are good but I have to say, while i know poetry can be any length I am quite disappointed by "Mimic Not the Swan". I feel a bit cheated. I did vote for this, however.
This Feedback was...
8/1/2009 12:17 AM PDT
Love this one - 'Moments slip Away'!
This Feedback was...
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