Book Info
-
Project Leader:
michaeldeshazer
-
Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
All Participants -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Short Story
Humor/Satire -
Language:
English
book_central
Kick the Bucket: The Final Sentence
You're about to die. What will be the last few words that escape your mouth?
Perhaps: "What does this button do?"
Or: "I never really liked you, son."
Or maybe a secret: "I slept with your sister the night before our wedding."
Perhaps an insightful view: "I see dead people... already."
I like: "You're all coming with me."
Perhaps: "What does this button do?"
Or: "I never really liked you, son."
Or maybe a secret: "I slept with your sister the night before our wedding."
Perhaps an insightful view: "I see dead people... already."
I like: "You're all coming with me."
GIVE FEEDBACK
Hello,
You are invited to be a member of my new website- Friction Writers.
http://frictionwriters.ning.com/
Here you can easily access information and research as well as new websites to put your work up on, best places to find news on authors and ways to contact your favourite authors for advice. There will also be information about possible publishing agents and competitions.
On this website you can upload videos of plays you have written or photos of covers/posters you have made in regards to your work as well as ideas for visuals and descriptions of your novel, poem or short stories. You can’t upload your work at this website but you can update and be more social with other writers as this is a social networking website.
Please join and update people on the things occurring in your life as well as your experiences as a writer or feed backer.
From,
Milly
You are invited to be a member of my new website- Friction Writers.
http://frictionwriters.ning.com/
Here you can easily access information and research as well as new websites to put your work up on, best places to find news on authors and ways to contact your favourite authors for advice. There will also be information about possible publishing agents and competitions.
On this website you can upload videos of plays you have written or photos of covers/posters you have made in regards to your work as well as ideas for visuals and descriptions of your novel, poem or short stories. You can’t upload your work at this website but you can update and be more social with other writers as this is a social networking website.
Please join and update people on the things occurring in your life as well as your experiences as a writer or feed backer.
From,
Milly
A good read, it's what we all think but never put into words, very clever! Best of luck.....
This is creative, and humorous, in parts. In contrast, some of the submissions created gruesome images which did not appeal to me. Nevertheless, with a bit of editing, and some re-organization, this might be a real winner.
Good Luck! nancy
Good Luck! nancy
At the last moment of life, some Buddhist monks write "jisei". A poem with which the author gives up his last breath, and dies. Jisei are publishable, because they are an incredible triumph of the human capacity for creation, and furthermore many of them are absolutely magnificent.
These, on the other hand, are not: (1) funny, (2) interesting, or (3) significant in any way.
How is this publishable? What standard have 200+ individuals applied whereby they have concluded that attempting to peddle this stuff to consumers is a good idea? I would be impressed if even the authors bought a copy.
These, on the other hand, are not: (1) funny, (2) interesting, or (3) significant in any way.
How is this publishable? What standard have 200+ individuals applied whereby they have concluded that attempting to peddle this stuff to consumers is a good idea? I would be impressed if even the authors bought a copy.
it would make a great reality tv movie/story.... you die and are brought back. by an ultra "Modern in the future Team of experts"; in bringing back life, and ... just happen to be... reality tv doctors. That Way... there can be a Protagonist who has many Deaths under his Belt and the more you die and come back the STRONGER YOU ARE!
each time Brought back to life by a Team of LIFE GIVERS who question him on what he saw or heard. on the otherside. all the other contestants are competing for a million dollars each time
each time he was in the tunnel.of death walking toward the white lite...There is always a message /or you see people who have died before you and he could have adventures on the death side too!.....having to decide, each time to live or die. Hey....!? maybe that is the story: each time the contestant decides if it is worth living or dying! because if you had been good on this side ...there own GOD will offer you complete paradise .But if you were bad, the story was different ;you had to make a choice: come back and clean up your kharma...
just thought I would throw my two cents in I didn't know if you have written this already or if it is just an IDEA>
Peace
each time Brought back to life by a Team of LIFE GIVERS who question him on what he saw or heard. on the otherside. all the other contestants are competing for a million dollars each time
each time he was in the tunnel.of death walking toward the white lite...There is always a message /or you see people who have died before you and he could have adventures on the death side too!.....having to decide, each time to live or die. Hey....!? maybe that is the story: each time the contestant decides if it is worth living or dying! because if you had been good on this side ...there own GOD will offer you complete paradise .But if you were bad, the story was different ;you had to make a choice: come back and clean up your kharma...
just thought I would throw my two cents in I didn't know if you have written this already or if it is just an IDEA>
Peace
VERY GOOD!!!!! GO SEE MY STORIES Mightypen_Girl I write all the time add me to friendz!!!!!!!!!!!
haha, and here I thought it was gonna be sweet!
450 pound ex mother-in-law made me laugh though.
450 pound ex mother-in-law made me laugh though.
A Right Bloody Mess In The Prison Showers...haha. Funny stuff, very creative project. I'd love to see this one printed.
"Only in my last minutes can i say for sure that. . . I hate you.
Ahh! do you know how good that feels to have that off your chest"
Ahh! do you know how good that feels to have that off your chest"
This is great, and I see that it is composed by various authors. They don't call me Looney Larry for nothing. My taste runs right down this alley. This gets my vote, and my hearty laughs.
Eight years ago I thought I was going to become a road kill statistic, I'm still here, but this is what I though just before my head hit the windscrean and I place my right hand over my eyes.
"I might be going to die, but I'm fucked if I'm going to be blind!"
"I might be going to die, but I'm fucked if I'm going to be blind!"
Ooo ... I need to get this when it comes out! The crassness is remarkable! Peace.
"Stuffed my ass with razor blades" priceless in a toilet humor kind of way... lovely. I want to get like three of these together published...it would make a fantastic coffee table book
Hi,
I've been keeping an eye on the poles and on the works for which I voted. I've noticed that it is quite plain that the best works are receiving the most negative votes, simply because others feel their chances are threatened. There might even be some cross-negative voting, ie, your fans voting negatively on other books, so I thought you'd like to know the following. Please read it and let your fans know that they need not vote negatively to get your work published! i received this email from Melissa, the site coordinator after emailing her my thoughts and feelings about the negative vote.:
From: Melissa
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
James,
I've posted about this in the WEbook forums; check it out here: http://www.webook.com/forums/messageIndex.aspx?topic=cce7e374128946999b9c4baca1e2e360&fview=true
We did not anticipate the kind of negativity and unscrupulous voting that we've seen. We will likely not include negative votes in the final tally.
-- Melissa
-------- Original Message -------------
From: jamesbbrown
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
Hey Melissa! I am writing because, as I'm sure are many we-booker's, I'm concerned about the 'negative voting'. People are clearly just voting every project (other than their favorite) down without reading the material. This is really disappointing, and I am a little bewildered as to how this clearly inevitable outcome might not have been anticipated.
Is there any talk of eliminating this feature prior to the end of the election? This is becoming a really hostile process, and it seems clear that given the "negative voting" mechanism, the results of this voting process will be impossible to interpret.
How will you select the top 10%? What will determine that ranking from which you will select a work or works? The highest % positive will of course be books only voted on a few time. Will you ignore the negative votes at that point?
In any case, I just wanted to express my profound disappointment at this process. I would love to know to what purpose the negative voting information will be put, as I would sleep better at night. Right now my favorite webook books are getting crushed under the negative weight, and it is tragic.
-James
I've been keeping an eye on the poles and on the works for which I voted. I've noticed that it is quite plain that the best works are receiving the most negative votes, simply because others feel their chances are threatened. There might even be some cross-negative voting, ie, your fans voting negatively on other books, so I thought you'd like to know the following. Please read it and let your fans know that they need not vote negatively to get your work published! i received this email from Melissa, the site coordinator after emailing her my thoughts and feelings about the negative vote.:
From: Melissa
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
James,
I've posted about this in the WEbook forums; check it out here: http://www.webook.com/forums/messageIndex.aspx?topic=cce7e374128946999b9c4baca1e2e360&fview=true
We did not anticipate the kind of negativity and unscrupulous voting that we've seen. We will likely not include negative votes in the final tally.
-- Melissa
-------- Original Message -------------
From: jamesbbrown
Sent: 11/6/2008 06:38 AM PT
Subject: Negative voting
Hey Melissa! I am writing because, as I'm sure are many we-booker's, I'm concerned about the 'negative voting'. People are clearly just voting every project (other than their favorite) down without reading the material. This is really disappointing, and I am a little bewildered as to how this clearly inevitable outcome might not have been anticipated.
Is there any talk of eliminating this feature prior to the end of the election? This is becoming a really hostile process, and it seems clear that given the "negative voting" mechanism, the results of this voting process will be impossible to interpret.
How will you select the top 10%? What will determine that ranking from which you will select a work or works? The highest % positive will of course be books only voted on a few time. Will you ignore the negative votes at that point?
In any case, I just wanted to express my profound disappointment at this process. I would love to know to what purpose the negative voting information will be put, as I would sleep better at night. Right now my favorite webook books are getting crushed under the negative weight, and it is tragic.
-James
This was so much fun I would love to see it published and share the laughs around. Good luck!!:)
i have a twin to and im sorry for what you thought about your mom i no its your opinon but to be honest you no how to get a readers attention on this ifi were you i would be yourself with your mom and i am 24 minutes older than my twin i do the i am older thing to and my mom dressed us up the same to but my real dad is the same for you as your mom but my real dad hated me and my mom he hit her and cheated but my stepdad hit me but he has been nice to me now and i forgive him but anyway me and you have alot of things in common with you thanks for writting that. ~cole~
These are all sooo good. Thanks to everyone for these last words before croaking!
I really liked the title. I have a childrens book called The Sturtles up for vote. Please check it out if you have a second.
This really, REALLY should be published!
It's so interesting and a huge variety of people would read it, for sure. Thumbs up and good luck!!!!
It's so interesting and a huge variety of people would read it, for sure. Thumbs up and good luck!!!!
There's over 130, probably plenty for a decent manuscript, but yes tahrasep has a good point If it's all too much the same a reader will get bored of it and put a published book down.
Another worry - quite a few have similar scenes, and some of the entries from multiple people seem to be the exact same. How many entries are there total, anyone know? 250?
Some of these, around a half, I'd say, seem to be pure GOLD. I love it! It's the other half that I feel aren't as well-structured, precise, and witty as they could be. Some just need beter setence structures or a new approach, others I feel might weigh this project down.
I'm worried that this project might have been rushed to publication. It might have been stronger had you had more time. But whether this wins or not, you'll probably get enough exposure that by the next cycle you'll have an even better chance.
I'm going to keep reading the other five billion submissions before casting my vote on this project.
Either way, though, for the most part, this is hilarious.
I'm worried that this project might have been rushed to publication. It might have been stronger had you had more time. But whether this wins or not, you'll probably get enough exposure that by the next cycle you'll have an even better chance.
I'm going to keep reading the other five billion submissions before casting my vote on this project.
Either way, though, for the most part, this is hilarious.
Hey, I have a poem/short story, actually two of them, but Final Goodbye is really good, and I was hoping you could consider putting it in you project, it is really good, and there is another one, but it's not that great, its Untitled I think, but please consider Final Goodbye
How can you not publish it? One of the few projects out there leaning towards uniqueness.
Click the Thumbs up button that says underneath it "publish"
DO IT! SERIOUSLY!
DO IT! SERIOUSLY!
thanks for the tears and the fears.thanks for the laughs and the gaffs,,thanks for pleasure and the treasure...well done michael it deserves to win,,,only question left....WHAT NEXT
YES! It's great!!! Seriously!
Anyone who puts "Thumbs down" is only doing it so they can win!
This deserves to win! It's just hilarious!
Anyone who puts "Thumbs down" is only doing it so they can win!
This deserves to win! It's just hilarious!
One of my favorite spots to find my favoritist peoples.
"A must read"; John Doe of the Church Point Stars said
"I'd read it time and again" Betty Boop of the O.C.D. Times reports
"I laughed I cried" says Betty Crocker of the Onion Guild
"Definite bathroom read" says Joe the Plubmer of American Toiletries Union
"A must read"; John Doe of the Church Point Stars said
"I'd read it time and again" Betty Boop of the O.C.D. Times reports
"I laughed I cried" says Betty Crocker of the Onion Guild
"Definite bathroom read" says Joe the Plubmer of American Toiletries Union
the best by the preverbial mile,,im gonna miss it,,,incedently,,,can someone tell me what kicking the bucket means
I love this project, it is perfect. Thank you so much for letting me share my story, poetry. Thanks again!!
CretiaD
CretiaD
I loved this project. It made my day sunny. I laughed so many times. IT WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, it's Nov. 4th and it's voting time. If you like this project, vote for it for publication :)
See? Quit being a pussy.I told you this stuff's not flammabaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
actually on a serious note id probly just say, "i love you, .....(p.s dont worry... i heard heaven has an excellent bar")
or, " shit, what do i wear?, oh shit!...is there a bar there? and i have far too much clothes on if im going to hell, and these heels will never do if im going to be walking on clouds!!"
or maybe i wouldnt say anything, id just wait till i seen god and say "seriously man, what came first, the chicken or the egg?, and do u really have a garden full of dead people?"
oh just f*cking great!! do u know how long it took me to get here, now im guna die, and i have to start all over again!!!
michaeldeshazer - could you state in the summary how many submissions you have so it's easy to find? Imagining this as a published book, I'd need to think: how many per page will there probably be, how many pages then will there be, and ill that number of pages be enough for a full-length book?
Also, are you considering some amazing illustrations/cartoons to accompany this? You really should, though it might take months to get enough high-quality illustrations.
As for your issue with the one-star reviewer, this is why I believe it is necessary to leave a review before being able to rate.
Good job, guys!
Also, are you considering some amazing illustrations/cartoons to accompany this? You really should, though it might take months to get enough high-quality illustrations.
As for your issue with the one-star reviewer, this is why I believe it is necessary to leave a review before being able to rate.
Good job, guys!
" i want another chance"
' this world didnt take me anywhere"
" i havent had my dinner yet"
" i see grand ma"
' this world didnt take me anywhere"
" i havent had my dinner yet"
" i see grand ma"
Here's a few:
"Are..are..are we there yet?"
"So, a duck walks into a bar....and..."
"I just wanted to say...eh...you all suck!"
"I left the.....oven on dammit."
"Give me the....1-up mushroom quick!"
"come on baby....hit me..one more ti....."
"Funny...I don't feel like I'm dying..."
"Death...I am going to kick your @$$ and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of gum..."
"Are..are..are we there yet?"
"So, a duck walks into a bar....and..."
"I just wanted to say...eh...you all suck!"
"I left the.....oven on dammit."
"Give me the....1-up mushroom quick!"
"come on baby....hit me..one more ti....."
"Funny...I don't feel like I'm dying..."
"Death...I am going to kick your @$$ and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of gum..."
If you cry, that'll be my hell. so smile, and i can see heaven before i'm dead.
Update: I've received numerous e-mails regarding this project for the upcoming voting cycle, and ABSOLUTELY!!! is the answer. This project will absolutely be submitted for voting. I'm going to submit it on November 2nd (two days before the deadline) so we can continue to gather juicy content. As it stands we only have about 450 submissions and I'm not sure if that's enough for a book. I'm going to the drawing board and I plan on posting at least 20 stories before then, and I encourage all the major contributors to do the same to give us the best shot :)
In the presence of friends: I am glad we knew each other; if we meet again, let it be as friends.
In the presence of enemies: This death is my victory!
In the presence of enemies: This death is my victory!
Well, that really isn't any good, now is it?
Be a dear, go scoop up my guts and bring them back here.
Be a dear, go scoop up my guts and bring them back here.
Wow...you'd think I was smarter than that! Well, so much for saving you guys!
im sorry , i love u, i hate him , i wish , if only , see you on the other side
"nice doggy!"
or
start singing "So no-one told me life was gonna be this way,"
or
"So, come here often?"
or
"Ha ha ha, i knew the feds wouldn't catch up!"
or
start singing "So no-one told me life was gonna be this way,"
or
"So, come here often?"
or
"Ha ha ha, i knew the feds wouldn't catch up!"
Or
Put salt at all the doorways and windows, get a shotgun full of rock salt and anything pure iron. When my ghost comes back, I want to be challenged.
Put salt at all the doorways and windows, get a shotgun full of rock salt and anything pure iron. When my ghost comes back, I want to be challenged.
Remember, I want a disco funeral. And if any one of you so much as mentions God at it, I'll come back to haunt you!
Also, quick question (off topic): I ordered Webook's Pandora last weekend and haven't received it yet. For those who have it, how long does the damn thing take???
Update: We're still at number 2, but then again we've been up less than a week. Thanks for the many laughs :) about 350 of them at this point LOL!
I have been dead all the while....I am just catching my second breath. Can you kinda, close the curtains a bit....i cannot stand the sunlight.
I have asked for forgivess. Will yall remember to add my laptop so i can finish writing about how low down and dirty yall treated me before I took this last breath?
Hey, don't forget to add my boy toys in the coffin. yall cannot have them, so go but your own.
Not last words...but saddest thing I heard as a daughter held her elderly mother was..Hush momma, please don't cry
My favorite last words are from the movie Tombstone. Doc Holiday is dying. He looks down at his feet and before he dies he says, "Feels kinda funny."
Realistically I think people say things like, hold me, I don't wan't to die, I don't wan't to die like this, I don't wan't to be alone, I'm scared, please Jesus not now, and so forth.
me and my boyfriend laff about this one...
were going to sit up right before we die and simply say "death"
were going to sit up right before we die and simply say "death"
I think it would be something along the lines of :
"HOPE I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME!"
"HOPE I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME!"
We've reached the #2 Spot on the featured projects page!!!!
Anna_Kist leads the day once again with a slew of brilliant submissions. We have a very new, very active reviewer: reland1. I've enjoyed all the new-comer submissions and looking forward to another day of tragic fun!
It's 6:30 AM, my landlord hasn't put the heat on yet, so I can't stay at this computer for long.... must...get....heat....
This will be the first day I show up to school early.
Anna_Kist leads the day once again with a slew of brilliant submissions. We have a very new, very active reviewer: reland1. I've enjoyed all the new-comer submissions and looking forward to another day of tragic fun!
It's 6:30 AM, my landlord hasn't put the heat on yet, so I can't stay at this computer for long.... must...get....heat....
This will be the first day I show up to school early.
Well i'd like to think that i'd say " damage thats was a good ride, lets go again"
Note to self: it is not a good idea to poke the chaos demon despite the fat that he looks so cute.
The only mark I ever left on the beautiful places on earth was a footprint. They have blessed me in return with the same.
Wow, this has been a fun ride. It hasn't been 48 hours yet since this was posted and today we moved from merely being on the featured projects page to being NUMBER 5 (as of 3:30am EST)
Thanks to all of yesterday's main contributors:
Anna_Kist
HD_Hatcher
linicap
PhoebeSky
flashoffgenius
And everyone else who submitted.
BY THE WAY:
What happened to PLONY??? He was hands-down one of our best guys and he was missing in action today. Can everyone message him to try and bring some of his genius back to this project.
Also, congrats to Anna_Kist: she is now a Webook Top Writer.
And our newcomer, linicap- he's been on fire as of late.
Well, looking for another day of wowness.
Let's hit that number one stop and become a Webook. We have until 11/3/08 to submit before the voting process, and with over 200 submissions thus far, I'm hoping we can keep it growing and see all of this in a Barnes & Noble one day. Or maybe it'll just stay right here. Maybe it's better that way lol!
Either way, I'm down. This is alot of fun and I'm looking forward to more!!!
Thanks to all of yesterday's main contributors:
Anna_Kist
HD_Hatcher
linicap
PhoebeSky
flashoffgenius
And everyone else who submitted.
BY THE WAY:
What happened to PLONY??? He was hands-down one of our best guys and he was missing in action today. Can everyone message him to try and bring some of his genius back to this project.
Also, congrats to Anna_Kist: she is now a Webook Top Writer.
And our newcomer, linicap- he's been on fire as of late.
Well, looking for another day of wowness.
Let's hit that number one stop and become a Webook. We have until 11/3/08 to submit before the voting process, and with over 200 submissions thus far, I'm hoping we can keep it growing and see all of this in a Barnes & Noble one day. Or maybe it'll just stay right here. Maybe it's better that way lol!
Either way, I'm down. This is alot of fun and I'm looking forward to more!!!
The last 24 hours have been (somebody give me a turgid adjective or metaphor to accurately describe lol)!!!
The stories have been hilarious and the feedback has been amazing.
Thanks to all the top reviewers and writers who have immensely contributed to bringing this project to the first page of Webook's featured project page!
(No specific order)
(except for this guy:) PLONY - most posts, most feedback, arguably the funniest poster.
Anna_Kist
Yani_Toledo
nandyekle
Tkain
HD_Hatcher
Khrysty
zygoncurry
xdarkvampirex
jda1961
Looking forward to new faces and fresh material as well as the veterans LOL! This project has already evolved dramatically and I'm looking forward to what's to come. Having lots of FUN!
The stories have been hilarious and the feedback has been amazing.
Thanks to all the top reviewers and writers who have immensely contributed to bringing this project to the first page of Webook's featured project page!
(No specific order)
(except for this guy:) PLONY - most posts, most feedback, arguably the funniest poster.
Anna_Kist
Yani_Toledo
nandyekle
Tkain
HD_Hatcher
Khrysty
zygoncurry
xdarkvampirex
jda1961
Looking forward to new faces and fresh material as well as the veterans LOL! This project has already evolved dramatically and I'm looking forward to what's to come. Having lots of FUN!
UNBELIEVABLE.... That snot nosed little jerk. Maybe it's time we go read some of his work. <Evil Grin>
to make it easier for everyone:
http://www.webook.com/member/Brian_Kupillas
http://www.webook.com/member/Brian_Kupillas
it does , I think the project leader can use the project settings or something.
aha click ,manage submissions
then under the number in average ratings click details and all is revealed.
aha click ,manage submissions
then under the number in average ratings click details and all is revealed.
Yeah, HD, I noticed. I wish webook allowed participants to see who leaves ratings and not just feedback.
Has anyone else noticed that some dickhead went right down the line and gave all participants in this project a rating of a 1? What a dousche bag!
11/17 - 11:17am
Each day, I'm going to try to post updates to this project.
Up for just three hours thus far, there have been more than forty posts- most of which are funny as icy hell (and a handful of which had me on the floor).
Plony and Anna_Kist have been battling it out a little, and Plony is ahead by a slight margin, even though Anna's "747" grandma joke set Plony back a little.
This is the most fun I've had on webook, and the submissions just keep getting funnier.
Looking forward to more good times, and I hope you join in the fun.
Each day, I'm going to try to post updates to this project.
Up for just three hours thus far, there have been more than forty posts- most of which are funny as icy hell (and a handful of which had me on the floor).
Plony and Anna_Kist have been battling it out a little, and Plony is ahead by a slight margin, even though Anna's "747" grandma joke set Plony back a little.
This is the most fun I've had on webook, and the submissions just keep getting funnier.
Looking forward to more good times, and I hope you join in the fun.
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