gorgeous

great work! I vote publish.

Interesting….a yes vote from me!

http://www.webook.com/project/Top-3-Poems-of-Assorted-Interest

A good effort. Voted.

If you have the time...

http://www.webook.com/project/Animal-Cruelty

I really like this. It tells a really good story. I would only consider one small change.

"In fear they won't be liked for who they are"

"Who they "really" are"

Great job though.

Good story through a poem.

great poetry!  keep up the great writing!
I hope your pieces get published!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.webook.com/project/Three-Poems-From-My-Freshman-Year-In-High-School

Jayne,

How long does it take for these goose bumps to go down and my spine to stop tingling...?

Your talent moves beyond a command of the language and into the realm of profound and relevant messages that span all age groups and bridge every generational gap...

Publish again & again & again... WRITE ON...!

Joanne ;-D

I really like 'Don't Ask' Good luck and you have a voe from me!

http://www.webook.com/project/In-Times-Of-Love-There-Were

My favourite being mistaken identity, but liked all.
Good Luck.



http://www.webook.com/project/Three-for-the-competition


If you get the time.

I really enjoyed reading these three. My favourite is 'A Birdie named Time.' I love the way you played with the word 'time'. Excellant. Best of luck. I say PUBLISH.

A yes vote.

And yes, I do realize the first two were written from younger perspectives...I just expected a little more than the simplicity that your works displayed; since you are a grownup.

General:
Unlike the others...I'm going to actually be honest.  Where to begin...

Form:
The rhymes are very basic in all of your poems and your structure is sophomoric. 

Content:
Your intentions were thoughtful, but failed to deliver that heart-wrenching blow that leaves the reader picking up the broken pieces of himself. 

Imagery:
You basically just describe exactly what is happening...imagery is almost completely absent from your work.  Give me something to mull over in my head for a while...maybe even sleep on.  Blow me away!  But that doesn't happen here.

Tone:
It sounds like these poems are written from the perspective of a child or young teen.

Musicality:
The notes in your pieces played like a plastic harmonica.

But, before you hate me, please note that i wouldn't have given this review if I didn't care.

Very touching poems.  You have my vote.

http://www.webook.com/project/My-Poetic-Trilogy

Form:
Love the ryhme in Time.



Content:
Loved the message in Mistaken Identity.

Musicality:
Loved the flow in time flies.

Good luck!  nancy

You are a master! I loved "A Birdie Named Time." The general theme and tone of the poem is magnificent and your mastery of rhyme and symbolism is terrific. 5 stars!

http://www.webook.com/project/what-I-have-to-say

Jayne, Everything you write hits home to all ages. I read and re-read these poems and love them each time. You are the best and everything you write should be published to share with the world. So proud of you!

All of your poems were great, especially Mistaken Identity.  I'm sure that happens more often than not and the way that girl reacted was the correct way.  Kids should never given it to pear preasure just to be "cool' or "popular".  Great poem!!

Your first poem, "A Birdie named Time", appealed to me the most. Your play with the word "time" was very effective.
I also liked how you described old age in "Don't ask" -it is really true to life. You have my vote and I wish you good luck!