Book Info
Participants:
The WEbook community
The WEbook community
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only
Project Leader Only
Format:
Poetry
Poetry
Type:
Fiction
Fiction
Genre:
Literature
Literature
Language:
English
English
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GIVE FEEDBACK
8/1/2008 11:58 PM PT
That was really beautiful. I loved it. Thank you.
8/1/2008 06:53 PM PT
When I read your poetry, i don't notice anything else, it makes me feel like I'm in the poems. I love them
8/1/2008 03:59 PM PT
Great!
Love the structure of it, and especially the final piece of parenthetical
(I need to light the world)
Well done!
Love the structure of it, and especially the final piece of parenthetical
(I need to light the world)
Well done!
8/1/2008 02:51 PM PT
But this got me hooked :)
"I need to melt the ice that my feet have become and let
the fear subside so I can be something more than still."
"I need to melt the ice that my feet have become and let
the fear subside so I can be something more than still."
8/1/2008 02:46 PM PT
Wow! Amazing poem! I love this. While reading it I kept thinking which line I like the most (because there were so many!), but then finishing till the end, I felt all of the words come together perfectly into a powerful touching poem. Good for you! You are already lighting the world :) thanks!
8/1/2008 02:38 PM PT
I read it twice and still am finding more to ponder]
good stuff
good stuff
8/1/2008 02:02 PM PT
I Agree i wouls like to do the same.
8/1/2008 01:47 PM PT
I need to light the world is a great one! It's very unique, and speaks to readers a lot.
8/1/2008 01:44 PM PT
This one touched a soldier's heart
8/1/2008 01:41 PM PT
Refreshing
8/1/2008 08:52 AM PT
Your poetry is bueatiful. You have a true gift. I wish you luck. You have my vote.
8/1/2008 07:22 AM PT
i loved this....going to share this page with others....nice work...
8/1/2008 05:33 AM PT
I wish you all the luck. You are a great writer
8/1/2008 12:15 AM PT
Liked your works! These are the types of reading materials that I want to read when I just want to get lazy and relax. :)
A good coffee table book.
A good coffee table book.
7/31/2008 06:14 PM PT
I really liked it! Mostly, I like to sit around the house in my pajamas. Those are usually my favorite days.
So it was refreshing to read your poem and feel like I was a ball of energy, ready to do all of those things you wrote about.
Refreshing.
So it was refreshing to read your poem and feel like I was a ball of energy, ready to do all of those things you wrote about.
Refreshing.
7/31/2008 05:56 PM PT
wow i loved how it was a poem but veered towards being a love letter itself to all the things you want to do.
7/31/2008 05:03 PM PT
wonderful abandon!!!!
7/31/2008 04:23 PM PT
great!! it`s that light within that lights the way for others!!
7/30/2008 02:37 PM PT
Wow, I really like this one.
Your stlye of writing is good.
I liked to read about a woman in the war, than a man like usual. Its very sweet, great job!
Your stlye of writing is good.
I liked to read about a woman in the war, than a man like usual. Its very sweet, great job!
7/30/2008 01:43 PM PT
i like this one very much
7/30/2008 09:24 AM PT
Bravo on your writing style, very compelling. I kept coming back for more!
7/30/2008 02:29 AM PT
Love your style. I was moved by Mama's still a hero in my eyes.
David McKellar
David McKellar
7/29/2008 09:41 AM PT
You are good; very good. Your emotion was high in this poem and it says a lot. Keep writing because you will make it to the top one day.
7/28/2008 11:37 AM PT
I love this poem! Well written!
7/28/2008 09:08 AM PT
You have an excellent way with imagery; the dress, the cookie dough, the ballet dancing . . . it was just enough detail so that I saw it all, but not so much that it bogged down the flow of the poem.
7/28/2008 09:05 AM PT
The depth of thought is good
7/27/2008 06:51 AM PT
These poems are beautiful. They reach out to many base human problems and emotions.
7/25/2008 05:50 PM PT
I like the style you chose for those poem, and I could relate to many of the things you have mentioned in it.
Great job & good luck in the contest!
Great job & good luck in the contest!
7/25/2008 03:57 PM PT
smiling sunshine.. you light up my world, this is the first one i read of your and it the bomb.. the detail expression and feeling and passion..have me smiling sunshine
7/25/2008 02:37 PM PT
You were born to write. I don't care what anyone dare say, everything I've read of yours thus far is absolutely beautiful.
*Crissy
*Crissy
7/25/2008 02:02 PM PT
I think anyone who reads this poems will be able to relate to one of the "I need.." if not all of them. Good work.
Jenndate
Jenndate
7/25/2008 12:07 PM PT
the last 6 lines to me made the entire poem, keep writing i do not know you but can tel it's in ur blood
7/25/2008 11:05 AM PT
amazing.... truely amazing. your poetry gave me chills
7/25/2008 09:17 AM PT
Excellent work!
7/25/2008 03:37 AM PT
this doesn't like poem for me, but very nice story presented into poem form.
7/24/2008 01:41 PM PT
i vote for it
7/24/2008 01:41 PM PT
this one is very good
7/24/2008 07:54 AM PT
Nice poems I vote for your project carmen
7/23/2008 10:57 PM PT
Wonderful words, thank you for allowing me to share them
7/23/2008 09:30 PM PT
the comment below is for 'i need to light the world' and I just finished 'heart trimming' and loved it. I guess my first comment would be applicable here as well- isn't it funny how many of us feel this way? I've written pieces like this myself. But I love the hair analogies- very clever and relatable.
7/23/2008 09:18 PM PT
isn't it funny how so many of us feel this way? I guess that's why the saying 'youth is wasted on the young' is so timelessly true.
I enjoyed this. pamela
I enjoyed this. pamela
7/23/2008 05:34 PM PT
Great Job!!
7/23/2008 05:04 PM PT
I VOTE FOR YOUR PROJECT SHERRY
7/23/2008 02:01 PM PT
that was a nice one !
7/23/2008 01:41 PM PT
This poem expresses every feeling that I am feeling now.
7/23/2008 11:45 AM PT
Elastic Rebound Theory is my favorite because of the images. It's simple, but conveys a beautiful picture.
7/23/2008 11:40 AM PT
Very well written, with some beautiful imagery. Your voice comes through very clearly, conveying a wide range of emotion in every line.
7/23/2008 11:08 AM PT
I really like how you project your feelings with words. It truly gives the reader a picture of what you're feeling. Excellent job. It's also very inspiring and shows most of the readers (if not all) how we unknowingly need to grow as people.
7/23/2008 10:18 AM PT
Just by dint of the subject matter, this poem calls to mind the Pink Floyd song "Time"--that is to say, like "Time" this poem treats of the finite aspect of all things, but in a much more affirmative way. (See also, Book of Ecclesiates in the Old Testament). I liked this poem the best out of the three I sampled.
7/23/2008 10:17 AM PT
you say you were meant to write, and I totally agree with you. even if you don't get published by webook, you'll get this published by somebody, sooner or later. oh and I think it's great that you write some poems with Christian themes. there's not enough Christian poetry being written these days. so. you got my vote. good luck!
7/23/2008 10:14 AM PT
I like elastic rebound theory. A persons heart is beautiful whether it is broken or whole.
7/23/2008 09:18 AM PT
wow i love these they are so deep!!! awesome.
7/22/2008 08:14 PM PT
me encanta! :)
7/22/2008 07:52 PM PT
Lovely.
7/22/2008 11:25 AM PT
Wow, so inspiring! i loved it.
7/22/2008 08:50 AM PT
Evocative and pronounced. Well done.
7/22/2008 07:45 AM PT
Crystal! I am so proud of you and all that you accomplish in your writing!
7/22/2008 07:42 AM PT
I enjoyed this. I hope you do well in the voting process! Good luck and God Speed!
7/21/2008 10:33 PM PT
wow...i love it...it's everything i need to do also...thank you!!!
7/21/2008 07:20 PM PT
When I read this poem I have to admit I was almost crying. I can relate......
7/21/2008 07:17 PM PT
This is a wonderful poem. You should be proud
7/21/2008 03:28 PM PT
I like the succinctness of Elastic Rebound Theory. I hear William Carlos Williams in it. It forces us to think more about your metaphor. Good job.
7/21/2008 02:11 PM PT
I like to write poetry myself, I would like to write as well as you do. I think the three poems I read are very good.
7/21/2008 09:36 AM PT
You express yourself very well with very understandable language, bravo! In this poem I hear a cry to live, and I can empathize. Don't ever lose your God-given passion for living, even when life's experiences try to dull and temper it. Our experiences are the ground in which we plant our words and actions, but the sky is the limit for how far we can grow and travel!
7/21/2008 08:31 AM PT
Nice job...
i love ur poems
they're very inspiring...
great job!!!!
i love ur poems
they're very inspiring...
great job!!!!
7/21/2008 07:39 AM PT
I was so glad that you did not let anyone change your mind. Your mama is a hero... not only to you, but to every American who depends on her to defend us. A tribute to your mama!!! A wonderful thing.
7/21/2008 07:36 AM PT
Unafraid melted my heart. When he touched your hand and something wonderful happened... it sounded like love to me! Then when you walked hand in hand I was looking fof more.
7/21/2008 07:32 AM PT
I need to light the world is facinating. I like how you carry fear of rejection so well fom one scene to the next. I am sure that you will blanket the market with pazzaz!!!
7/21/2008 04:12 AM PT
although she's still alive, it used to be my biggest fear that she'd kill herself from consumption.
just to make that clear...
but if you want to read where i got the talent from, check out "her rays beam just the same"
my mother wrote it and it's beautiful.
just to make that clear...
but if you want to read where i got the talent from, check out "her rays beam just the same"
my mother wrote it and it's beautiful.
7/21/2008 04:09 AM PT
just to clear things up, sorry for the disappointment: "mama's still a hero in my eyes" was inspiration i had. my biological mother is an alcoholic that i haven't seen in years. the poems i wrote about her are "gone" and "lavendar pieces."
i wish she had inspired me with more beauty, but sadly it's not the case.
i wish she had inspired me with more beauty, but sadly it's not the case.
7/20/2008 10:22 PM PT
Beautiful and can be interpreted in so many ways!
7/20/2008 07:45 PM PT
amazing. You actually made me cry. Not because I can relate to the story, but for the message you gave , what you implied and the honor given to the hero.
amazing.
amazing.
7/20/2008 07:10 PM PT
Your words are deep and scream like the sound of someone being cut by a knife. My heart aches the more I read, I cannot go on.... Bravo!
7/20/2008 05:16 PM PT
Awesome........I just love reading other people's stuff. It inspires me to write more myself.
7/20/2008 11:04 AM PT
Heart-Trimming is simply marvelous in the way you associate your damaged hair and your heart impurities.
This is actually the first time I have had this brought to mind, always as a gardener pruning the pants, cutting the damaged and dead parts to insure that the new growth will emerge.
We all need to be trimmed in getting rid of un-glorifying parts of our walk with HIM, and HE is the only one that can successfully do this.
I like the way you want HIM to wash you u[p, clean you up, and make you what HE wants you to be.
This is actually the first time I have had this brought to mind, always as a gardener pruning the pants, cutting the damaged and dead parts to insure that the new growth will emerge.
We all need to be trimmed in getting rid of un-glorifying parts of our walk with HIM, and HE is the only one that can successfully do this.
I like the way you want HIM to wash you u[p, clean you up, and make you what HE wants you to be.
7/20/2008 10:54 AM PT
Unafraid is beautifully written and I enjoyed the picture with words that you painted in HIS opening your hand and you walking together with the sunset to your back.
A new life and a new beginning is what this is and you haven't been given the oppression but a sound mind.
Wonderful!
A new life and a new beginning is what this is and you haven't been given the oppression but a sound mind.
Wonderful!
7/20/2008 10:09 AM PT
I really liked it. I love reading poetry, I love writing it even more!
7/20/2008 09:29 AM PT
mamas strength shines in you
7/20/2008 09:28 AM PT
Your poem Mama is till a Hero in My Eyes, would bring tears to the eyes of the reader as they feel the love and compassion in it through your Daddy, and your Mama.
Truly JESUS, the Just Man, did die for the sins of the world to set us free from the afflictions of the world.
What greater than than this- there is none.
Truly JESUS, the Just Man, did die for the sins of the world to set us free from the afflictions of the world.
What greater than than this- there is none.
7/20/2008 09:20 AM PT
A well written poem with thoughts and intentions of doing something other than just sitting there doing nothing.
I appreciate this poem due to the periods of time that I was for medical reasons, made to sit and do nothing, and because I had not the strength to do otherwise.
Your last stanza really speaks volumes of worth and I applaud you for it.
I appreciate this poem due to the periods of time that I was for medical reasons, made to sit and do nothing, and because I had not the strength to do otherwise.
Your last stanza really speaks volumes of worth and I applaud you for it.
7/20/2008 03:48 AM PT
I really like that! it is so flowing! light as the taste of strowberries.
The power of the wind !
Sometimes I just leave my bad thoughts to fly away with the wind, it come and go like the wind !
The power of the wind !
Sometimes I just leave my bad thoughts to fly away with the wind, it come and go like the wind !
7/19/2008 07:53 PM PT
beautiful.
7/19/2008 04:32 PM PT
beautifully imagery and nice use of enjambment. i like how you bold some phrases within your stanzas, but i'm not sure that i like the word after 'i need to' being consistently bolded. know what i mean? nice work, though!
7/19/2008 01:19 PM PT
omg i completely agree with xAnthonyx that was awesomely good
7/19/2008 08:52 AM PT
holy crap thats really good
7/19/2008 06:16 AM PT
It's a beautiful poem with a beautiul ending, and very inspiring as well. All I can say is a great job well done, and I look forward to reading your other poems : )
7/18/2008 08:12 PM PT
I really loved the poems. "Unafraid" just speaks to me. I truly believe that sometimes our writings are not for us, but for others. Thanks. I needed it.
7/18/2008 06:22 PM PT
"I need to light the world" is beautiful, I really identify with it.
7/18/2008 05:16 PM PT
Great poem...
you remind me of a friend =)
you remind me of a friend =)
7/18/2008 03:58 PM PT
I love that poem, it expresses how important it is to stay true to The Lord regardless the temptations of sin that people go through today. Your work is really good. The only part that I didn't understand is when you said "gathering together to glorify your name and your light is falling" other than that I really like this poem.
7/18/2008 03:38 PM PT
Nice work, my favorite line was: "I could still hear her promise echoing through my soul" That one and "he reminded me that freedom isn't free" It's really touching.
7/18/2008 03:34 PM PT
Love this one, what a happy ending!! Gives people encouragement.
7/18/2008 03:08 PM PT
...Enjoyed reading these poems. My favorite was " a pair of glass shoes".
7/18/2008 01:50 PM PT
A gifted young writer with a great deal to say.
7/18/2008 01:23 PM PT
Very nice, I wasn't sure at first if she was going off to war or leaving for a sanitarium so she didn't hurt her kids, or maybe that was her inner war. Probably not, but interesting where the mind can go with good writing.
7/18/2008 01:22 PM PT
Wow, great :)
Very nice work and imagery. I love how it just flows. You seem very professional :)
I hope you'll read some of my poetry if you haven't already :)
Very nice work and imagery. I love how it just flows. You seem very professional :)
I hope you'll read some of my poetry if you haven't already :)
7/18/2008 01:11 PM PT
it is more hopeful than I know of now... so let it stand for a while.
7/18/2008 12:45 PM PT
Some very good stuff
7/18/2008 11:51 AM PT
Wow, this is great, I love it. It's...inspiring. : D
7/18/2008 10:26 AM PT
Wow, that is really great! :-)
7/18/2008 09:08 AM PT
i love your writing
7/18/2008 08:52 AM PT
Really great poetry
From the innner soul, connected to the basic emotions.
Its just wow.
From the innner soul, connected to the basic emotions.
Its just wow.
7/18/2008 08:31 AM PT
Thanks for writing and sharing
7/18/2008 02:18 AM PT
Beautiful inspiring poetry, absolutely amazing.
7/18/2008 02:06 AM PT
I enjoyed reading this, as I have felt and still feel and will probably feel exactly this same way.
An interesting style too, very overt in a way, while still filled with symbolisms and the stylistic elements of poetry that I like.
One question. Why "screaming for other reasons than me" and not [e.g.] "screaming for reasons other than mine"?
Grammatically the sentence could be "screaming for other reasons than I am screaming [for]"? This is difficult to read and elision the would make "screaming for other reasons than I", which just sounds very pretentious.
I'm not saying that you should change it, I just like wondering why people choose the phrases that they do. That is the essence of language, how and why it differs from person to person and place to place.
An interesting style too, very overt in a way, while still filled with symbolisms and the stylistic elements of poetry that I like.
One question. Why "screaming for other reasons than me" and not [e.g.] "screaming for reasons other than mine"?
Grammatically the sentence could be "screaming for other reasons than I am screaming [for]"? This is difficult to read and elision the would make "screaming for other reasons than I", which just sounds very pretentious.
I'm not saying that you should change it, I just like wondering why people choose the phrases that they do. That is the essence of language, how and why it differs from person to person and place to place.