Melanie's Memories of Melancholy

Book Info

Project Leader:

pastelspring

Participants:
The WEbook community

Who Can Write:
All Participants

Format:
Poetry

Type:
Fiction

Genre:
Biographies and Memoirs

Language:
English

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Melanie's Memories of Melancholy

Just a little poetry, and short stories

poetry and writing for all to share.

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Earlier Feedback

AshleighUK

11/17/2008 03:57 AM PT

Oops. my feedback seemed to mysteriously leep to another poem, I shall copy and paste the feedback below into the comment box for the poem I meant it for, and then return to give feedback on this one!!! Sorry - don't know what happened!

This Feedback was...

AshleighUK

11/17/2008 03:54 AM PT

I wouldn't necessarily suggest that this is ready to be published, I think you have a wonderful talent I just don't think that it has been properly harnessed yet, you have such inspirational comments to make on life and it's toils, I just think whilst your content glows with all of the possibility of a talented poet, your structure and technique could be tightened up around the edges. I'm not in a position to dictate what areas you should focus on in achieving this because I wouldn't want to encroach upon the style that you have already developed for yourself. I think with practice and more and more writing, you'll find that you work becomes naturally more precise.

You say on your profile that you really enjoy reading, I would recommend reading as much poetry as you can, including some of the less accurate work on the Internet to get a feel for what you love to read and what you don't, and this should give a little more focus to your writing as well.

The only correction I'll allow myself to make with this piece is that in the sixth line you show and inconsistency with grammar and punctuation, you use no punctuation at the end of the fifth line, but begin the six line with a capital letter.

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lotrfan

11/14/2008 12:26 PM PT

Voted

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writer122

11/14/2008 07:45 AM PT

you have my vote

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nrhatch

11/12/2008 03:10 PM PT

I loved Peaceful Existence.

Good Luck! nancy

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glenda82

11/11/2008 04:08 AM PT

I like

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Tartaruga

11/9/2008 11:21 AM PT

Nicely written and htoughful! You get my vote!

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Barbara_Terry

11/9/2008 01:13 AM PT

Hi Mel,

Your work should be published, you have a very gifted way of writing. Hopefully when I am finished with my project, I can have it voted on to be published. Write on girl, you have a message to tell.

Hugs,
Barbara

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