i vote publish.

Voted.

http://www.webook.com/project/Top-3-Poems-of-Assorted-Interest

Hey Lady, these are really good. Tell Ziggy I said hello...lol

Excellent Work.

http://www.webook.com/project/Animal-Cruelty

interesting work, seemed to me the first two were metaphors, and we all have our own brand of poison to help us through the dayn nicely done, i voted YES

Got my vote....Loved 'Poison' the others were good but that was my favourite :D Good choices.

Three equaly good poems. I wish you luck with the vote.


http://www.webook.com/project/Three-for-the-competition


If you have the time.

i love breaking down the most, everyone will be able to relate or put themselves in your place....

Very good. You have my vote.

Check out mine? http://www.webook.com/project/Touch-My-Heart

Please and thank you!

I really liked 'Poison' You have my vote.

http://www.webook.com/project/In-Times-Of-Love-There-Were

General:
poison is my favorite the lineation and flow and ryhme is beautiful. nicely done. breaking down seemed a little cliche but there is nothing wrong with that. i liked metaphors directness. nice selection.

Form:
poison was the best

Content:
everything has been done before but i like the angles that you've taken with these

Imagery:
your use of imagery in breaking down was nice but a little bit clishe especially porcelain skin. I like the use of decomposing as an extended metaphor and symbol throughout to represent the relationship. very relatable and concrete imagery.

Musicality:
poison takes the cake here

some of the best i have read well done

http://www.webook.com/project/My-Poetic-Thoughts-and-Rambles

General:
I find these interesting.  While I actually find no problem with being able to set these to a musical form, some of it I might even consider to be of the same song lyrically.

Maybe using My Metaphor for a bridge for Breaking Down.

I know it wasn't meant that way, but our band is getting ready to release a song dealing with the issue of a suicide because of a suicide.  Actually it is a two song series, about dealing with 'her suicide' in Not Like You Did, and then him dealing with the issues of ending it 'his way.'

I didn't mean to go off on our stuff like that...

Anyway, maybe I just like artistic wording for lyrics.

Form:
I enjoyed the form of all three, but Breaking Down still is my favorite.

I like to see someone break the metre to emphasize a point.

Imagery:
I tend to agree with themouth here.  I would have liked a bit more descriptive before the ending of Breaking Down.

My Metaphor and Poison were excellently down however.

Tone:
I'm going to say publish too.  Though I wonder- like michael7- just how marketable they would be.

Emotion, well written, energetic, flow well, everything I look for, but like much of my song writing, just how much of it is marketable.

I realize not many want to hear those words, (me either) but like I tell someone starting a band, it's about selling the music, or selling the product.  Be it CDs, T-shirts, liquor...  A well written emotional piece make people think.

And the old addage says, they will remember the start and the end...

Musicality:
I think I've said enough about how musical I feel here.

Awesome job!

I really really like these! In particular My Metaphor, I though that the repetitive phrase 'I am' provided a great sense of rhythm and flow. Publish!

My last entry woz for Breaking Down but all of these are great!

General:
wow. A lot of feeling in so little words. i love this.
Any poem wiv the words: halo, sin, scream, and any terms of endearment, are the poems I love, so yeah, you have a good one rite here.

Tone:
I wonder if anyone's has written in 2 boxes?
well the tone in this poem is sad, longing and heartfelt. it makes me think of what I've yet to feel...

Distinctly sincere; and "Metaphor" is uncommonly good for the fairly common theme it addresses.  You don't get lost in the need for a rhyme, you don't distort your language to get to them, and your rhymes are all clean - no cheats of assonance or half-rhyme.  Your metre is also unusually consistent.  If I think you need some development - and I'm afraid I do think that - I also think you have the talent to make said development worth while.

I really kinda enjoyed the first one and the second one is very cleverly written. I voted "maybe" , only because I don't know how marketable the subject matter is. People generally read poetry for uplifting and write poetry to get out hard to deal with emotions. And while millions can relate to your feelings ( myself included) I do not believe it will sell. I do however, think you write very well, and when it comes down to witting from the heart, you always rate 5 stars from me. I only mentioned my maybe vote because I like your style and you deserve to know how I voted, honestly. I would love to read some lighter poems from you, until then very, very good job.



My work is primarily free verse but I  rhyme as well.My 3 poem project is here:

http://www.webook.com/poetry.aspx?p=ac366f04cc1f4161a8d81d0459a3ca18&sit=0f90dedfc2464186a7dff3c3999f86dd
This poem is titled: The Secrets of Your Heart

I found that the theme of the poem was good, but you told too much about what was happening and what you were feeling rather than showing what was happening and what you were feeling.  I think you should stick with one image that holds this broken heart feeling.  By doing this, your poem will connect more with the readers.

It was all good and I liked all of them, i'm not an english student so i had trouble spotting out errors which in my opinion is really good...All in all, im impressed, and I voted for you.Goodluck!!!

I read the poems before and I like them just as much now, my favorite has to be "Breaking Down", for the theme is just so dark and is also a terrifying concept

I voted yes good work.

I like these, I vote yes

Publish. A good selection here.

Good luck to you!!

Your poems are so good!  They flow well and you do a great job getting your feelings across.  I can't even pick a favorite because they were all too good lol
I wish you luck!

General:
Voted my friend

Form:
Breaking Down: A powerful poem that shows pure emotion

A yes vote.Godd luck

I have no skill or ability to rate poetry knowledgeably.

I do not usually read poetry, it simply is not my "thang" and
I am not educated enough to understand it <sez quietly>
nor be able to offer technical advice on the format or pattern of verses.

As I was invited to read these, I will tell you how they made me feel:

Depressed.

If that was the intention, then it was successful.

I sincerely wish you all the best of luck in your competition.


Be Well,

Dollys

I liked My metaphore. It had a good rythm and flowed really well. Got my vote

I came across your poems while looking for someone else;s however I really enjoyed them, and your style.

I think though, as intended as it is, the last one might have had at least one more stanza, it could still have had the dramatic effect of being curt and still making a big statement; - I enjoyed it don't get me wrong, but I feel as if I only got half ma moneys worth! lol  You show diversity in the stylings ... and in my book that's always good.  If you wish to look at my offerings - different style from you ... here it is ... I notice people are doing this, so I am joining in on it ... however, mine are not just ard reviews; one fits all like many are.

http://www.webook.com/project/Quirked

I wish you good luck ... nice writing style.

Three very good poems - a yes vote.
Best wishes,
Mike.

http://www.webook.com/project/Verse-Macabre

Good poem, I like the style:-)

General:
I thought this was, well, okay. It had all the necessary emotions behind it and tha motivation and content, but the descriptive was a little monotonous, a constant stream of commentary on the subject isn't really going to cut the proverbial mustard in my opinion. I do think it had potential, but you need to develop it to take it places.

I shall outline exactly what I mean here.

Form:
This is a strange part for me, the rhyming is difficult, it hardly rolls off the tongue, kind of clunky in a way, difficult to carry, but still readable, as long as it is not ment to be recited I think it woiuld pass.

Content:
I find absolutly no problems in this area, a love lost or never gained methinks? A suitable place to draw the energy of the poem, and a good topic for many to gain purchase in, it is acessable, if you will, to both the casual and more hardcore reader.



Imagery:
I find a slight malformation here, athough I find it rather hard to place, the imagery is clear, for instance "a tear falls down my sodden cheek" is crystalline, with the obvious meaning evident.

That is all very well for writing a factual book, but in a poem I like to have at least some room to manouever, some room for interpretation.

I think this area could do with a more abstract feel, perhaps the tear could be replaced with a tear-like object, for instance "my eyes bleed silver raindrops, upon sodden cheeks".



Tone:
I find a small discrepencie here also, I think this poem was brought to an abrupt stop, where the feel was more of a slow decomposition, the immediate effect was more of a car crash, one minute screaming her lungs off, next dead in the dirt.

What I mean here is that even another verse would fit in between "no noise is heard" and "Mud settles around me".
Something to ease us into the grave, cementing the idea that you are "breaking down", in the literal sense of the term.



Musicality:
I know full well that this poem was never intended to "rhyme" but  the uneven feel of the assymetrical stanzas preturbs my obsessive mind.

Perhaps a more rigid regimented set would suit it better.

Conclusion:

I find this an intriguing  poem and it very much piques my interest, but it needs a lot of work done before it gets my vote.
Keep in mind that I have wrote this here as suggestions and not as direct orders, and that not all if any ahve to be implemented, but i think with the right reworking this can be made beautiful, rather than just pretty.

In conclusion, try to set up a more musical tone to the poem, give the reader some credit with your descriptives, who cares if some get lost, that is poetry, and try to gently lead us to the dirt, like the cooling of a fresh corpse.

An excellent set of poems with something of a common theme and lucid, vivid imagery throughout.  Nicely done.