Book Info
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Project Leader:
clanofaxtel
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Mystery -
Language:
English
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Nephilim,"Dark Son Rising" (THIS IS A REVISED EDDITION)
Satan has created his dark son, to feed on Gods creation of man. He has built an army of demons and creatures to fullfill his mission of destroying man. Eventually, man figured out what was going on and has built their own army to fight these dark creatures. The hunters have been formed to fight this battle, through generations and generations of these hunters they have pushed the creatures back into hiding, back into the shadows where they came from. They have destroyed a good many of them, s
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Paragraph = p; p 1, p 2 means paragraph 1 or 2
Sentence = s 1, same as above
p1, s1; God's possessive
p1, s4; and has built ... ( I think) it should be 'have built' as you are talking about a collective amount of people, not just one.
p1, s5 ; it would read better if you put in that humans have created he hunters. Like: ' The humans have bred hunters to fight their battles. Using many generations of these hunters, human's have pushed the demonic creatures back into hiding, into the shadows...
p1,s8; Hunters have destroyed a good many of the evil creatures, ...
P2; I'm sorry, I am unsure if Sir Fabian is a demon or a hunter. Sounds like it could be an interesting story.
Sentence = s 1, same as above
p1, s1; God's possessive
p1, s4; and has built ... ( I think) it should be 'have built' as you are talking about a collective amount of people, not just one.
p1, s5 ; it would read better if you put in that humans have created he hunters. Like: ' The humans have bred hunters to fight their battles. Using many generations of these hunters, human's have pushed the demonic creatures back into hiding, into the shadows...
p1,s8; Hunters have destroyed a good many of the evil creatures, ...
P2; I'm sorry, I am unsure if Sir Fabian is a demon or a hunter. Sounds like it could be an interesting story.
This sounds very interesting. Nice way of putting the purpose of the existence of vampires. Very nice indeed.
This Feedback was...
Thank you so much. I appreciate the feed back and the corrections that must be made. Thank you.
Personally, i rather liked it. I like the writing style you use, kind of old fasioned but descriptive at the same time, which sets the tone of your novel perfectly. I like the way your novel has a dark twist that was intriguing and nonetheless captivating.
Although, i must point out that some of your sentances are grammatically incorrect, and there also are punctuational errors throughout, nothing unexpected and nothing that cannot be fixed.
On the whole, a good novel. Nice work
Melixarx
Although, i must point out that some of your sentances are grammatically incorrect, and there also are punctuational errors throughout, nothing unexpected and nothing that cannot be fixed.
On the whole, a good novel. Nice work
Melixarx
This Feedback was...
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