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Project Leader:
K_B_Watts
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Children's -
Language:
English
book_central
Nervous Nelly Nanny Goat
This can be a picture book or a children's bedtime story as it is written in a rhyming and tongue-twisting format to command the attention of young readers of the pre-school and elementary age groups. This book brings attention to the multiple aspects of crying and why it is okay to let your emotions show. The book further introduces children to language that is meant to widen and enhance their vocabulary. This lovely little goat and her friends give children a non-threatening point-of-view abo
... more »
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1/10/2012 9:03 PM PST
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1/10/2012 8:44 PM PST
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1/10/2012 8:29 PM PST
4/20/2009 11:17 PM PDT
very cute!
This Feedback was...
4/20/2009 7:41 PM PDT
Great story for kids. Best of luck.
This Feedback was...
4/20/2009 9:56 AM PDT
lovely story. good luck,. publish. Please if you have time check out my book up for vote in the children's book section of the vote 'my combined childrens' poem book'
This Feedback was...
4/20/2009 7:24 AM PDT
Best of luck!
This Feedback was...
4/19/2009 4:35 PM PDT
Love it!!! GOOD LUCK!!
This Feedback was...
4/19/2009 12:46 PM PDT
i wish you the best of luck i voted publish !!!
This Feedback was...
4/19/2009 11:57 AM PDT
Good luck!
This Feedback was...
4/18/2009 6:57 PM PDT
This is funny! IJust remember when writing projects either make someone of the targeted age group read it or put yourself in your reader's shoes.
This Feedback was...
4/18/2009 5:06 PM PDT
I voted last time for this, i'll do it agian! Good luck!
-Flame
Please take a look at my project, if you like it please vote for me.
http://www.webook.com/project/Saga
-Flame
Please take a look at my project, if you like it please vote for me.
http://www.webook.com/project/Saga
This Feedback was...
4/18/2009 4:09 PM PDT
I think kids will love this. . .I don't know if you did the art work, but I like that too. Good story.
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4/18/2009 1:07 AM PDT
The story is a nice idea. Some of the rhyming doesn't work for me - trips over itself a little.
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4/17/2009 10:26 PM PDT
Great read! Lovely...
This Feedback was...
4/17/2009 8:24 PM PDT
delightful and great message!
This Feedback was...
4/17/2009 7:07 PM PDT
Good Job. GoodLuck
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4/17/2009 3:36 PM PDT
Awwww... very cute. You got my vote - good luck!
This Feedback was...
4/17/2009 12:20 PM PDT
Great job. I voted. I think this would make a wonderful children's book.
This Feedback was...
4/17/2009 11:48 AM PDT
Sorry for the delay in the vote! Best of luck!
This Feedback was...
4/17/2009 10:06 AM PDT
Kathy your presentation is wonderful, the images are truly amazing. I loved Little Nervous Nelly Nanny the first time I read it. I was like a child reading my first real book. Your methods and techniques are extraordinary. I sincerely hope your book gets published this time around. Good Luck, BDC
This Feedback was...
4/17/2009 1:19 AM PDT
Admirably Whimsical.
Your verse is great!!!
Thank you for sharing the opportunity's, to enjoy your work, as you enjoy working to share.
I love the depictions of emotion, and understand the difficulty in translating it to verse, or "voice". (In regard to a child, being read to.)
My opinion sheds in simplifying identification of Character's, faster time line, (my 6 yr. old ran out of steam around Crotchety Crandall Crocodile, My 10 year old, wanted nothing to do with it.) Believing you will do great in the vote, this seems a bit long for "boys". How does your child reflect, in play, from your story? That child like play, is what seems to be in need of target, you hit the inner rings.
With all due respect.
Thank You. Again,
For this opportunity to share in your work, and my opinion.
Until Then.
Your verse is great!!!
Thank you for sharing the opportunity's, to enjoy your work, as you enjoy working to share.
I love the depictions of emotion, and understand the difficulty in translating it to verse, or "voice". (In regard to a child, being read to.)
My opinion sheds in simplifying identification of Character's, faster time line, (my 6 yr. old ran out of steam around Crotchety Crandall Crocodile, My 10 year old, wanted nothing to do with it.) Believing you will do great in the vote, this seems a bit long for "boys". How does your child reflect, in play, from your story? That child like play, is what seems to be in need of target, you hit the inner rings.
With all due respect.
Thank You. Again,
For this opportunity to share in your work, and my opinion.
Until Then.
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 6:53 PM PDT
got my vote, K_B...good luck!
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 5:45 PM PDT
I loved it. I found it a little bit hard some times because I'm sort of good at tongue-twisters but apart from that, very good and very good illustrations!
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 5:45 PM PDT
I loved it. I found it a little bit hard some times because I'm sort of good at tongue-twisters but apart from that, very good and very good illustrations!
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 4:16 PM PDT
Very cute story. perfect illustrations.
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 1:21 PM PDT
It's so cute & adorable!!! I love it....
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 11:31 AM PDT
Very cute :) good luck! :)
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 6:30 AM PDT
good stuff!
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 5:54 AM PDT
Good luck!
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 7:59 PM PDT
good luck [=
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 10:59 AM PDT
I want a copy! :)
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 10:52 AM PDT
I really enjoyed reading this! You have my vote! Cute book, talented Illustrations.
Lisa
Lisa
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 10:45 AM PDT
This is brilliant!! I absolutely adore it; I love the verse as well as the artwork!
Colleen
Colleen
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 6:25 AM PDT
"This book brings attention to the multiple aspects of crying and why it is okay to let your emotions show."
Let the tear role! I think it's better to keep the soul fluid rather then jamming it. Especially the young one.
Let the tear role! I think it's better to keep the soul fluid rather then jamming it. Especially the young one.
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4/15/2009 1:20 AM PDT
Your story most certainly would help parents to understand why their children cry, as well as the children themselves. It was well wrote and the rhyming would make the story even more amusing for the child. The children in 1st year at my primary school would've loved it!
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 8:45 PM PDT
:) I just love this book its so facinating, dreamy, magical, and heart warming :)
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 4:56 PM PDT
Ms. K.B. Watts this story is wonderful! I understand that you mainly wrote this as a bedtime story but I would also read in the daytime to a regular classroom of elementary school children.
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 1:19 PM PDT
my neice would love this,
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4/14/2009 12:43 PM PDT
cool
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4/14/2009 9:33 AM PDT
I will always give a brave writer of childrens'books my vote because I believe that giving a child the gift of words and imagination is the gratest gift ever
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 5:40 AM PDT
Hey! That's a cool book, i voted for you with a thumbs up! Good luck and nice illustrations btw!
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 2:59 AM PDT
Well done! A lovely book! Big thumbs up and good luck with the publishing!! x
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 12:51 AM PDT
Good luck! :-)
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4/13/2009 9:55 PM PDT
nice children's book. good luck.
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4/13/2009 9:10 PM PDT
Nice art. Nice stories. I love it. The world needs more children's books I believe.
This Feedback was...
4/13/2009 8:29 PM PDT
Great read. Thumbs up!
This Feedback was...
4/13/2009 5:59 PM PDT
Even though I too am going for publish...I kinda hope you win instead:)
This Feedback was...
4/13/2009 5:01 PM PDT
Its sooooo cute! I adoreee it!
This Feedback was...
4/13/2009 4:25 PM PDT
it looks ubber cute!
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4/12/2009 4:09 PM PDT
very good work! Please vote for me
This Feedback was...
4/12/2009 9:03 AM PDT
Great Kids book, I think I might have some competition here? but its a yes publosh.
This Feedback was...
4/11/2009 6:52 PM PDT
Fantastic work! Love the revisions!
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4/11/2009 1:49 PM PDT
I knew there was someone up for vote that I hadn't voted for yet.
Doh...
Rectified!
Good luck KB
Looks great in its new version with its shiny new colour artwork. Very jolly indeed. You've put a lot of work in since Nervous nanny was up last time and it clearly shows.
Doh...
Rectified!
Good luck KB
Looks great in its new version with its shiny new colour artwork. Very jolly indeed. You've put a lot of work in since Nervous nanny was up last time and it clearly shows.
This Feedback was...
4/11/2009 4:52 AM PDT
A wonderful book KB; Here's my vote
This Feedback was...
4/10/2009 6:54 PM PDT
You got my vote
This Feedback was...
4/10/2009 4:29 PM PDT
Hey that was good i reakon you should publish it
This Feedback was...
4/10/2009 3:25 PM PDT
nice i like it you got my vote
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4/10/2009 2:05 PM PDT
My vote has been cast. Best of luck to you!!
This Feedback was...
4/10/2009 7:51 AM PDT
Manuscript is complete. It's ready to go. Let's help Nervous Nelly finds its way to the print shop.
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4/9/2009 9:09 PM PDT
The idea is great and the storyline is good. Although, I didn't like the rhymes that much. But it's funny and I need to check it on my son to see if works :)
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4/9/2009 7:06 PM PDT
When I was a mum of two youngsters I wouldn't have chosen this book for it's illustrations. I feel the lines are harsh and clours garish...but the concepts are good and if you choose to use pastel colours and gentle strokes, I think children would love them... but then may be children like art in this manner ....I am not sure what children prefer these days....
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4/9/2009 7:00 PM PDT
i think the idea is super and if I were to find this book when two children were small, I would definitely buy it, but not to read to them...I would read it my self and then communicate the concepts to my children in simpler sweeter words...Yes I agree, it is definitely not suitable as a bed time story as there is too much happening. As an instructional book during day time for teachers - yes my vote is with you.
This Feedback was...
4/9/2009 6:07 PM PDT
Dear Kathy,
I say no because I did not like the rhymes.Sometimes It was too difficult to understand what you mean.It did not communicate with my child.He did not like it very much.I think you can do better.Give it a try.
I say no because I did not like the rhymes.Sometimes It was too difficult to understand what you mean.It did not communicate with my child.He did not like it very much.I think you can do better.Give it a try.
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4/9/2009 3:13 PM PDT
FABULOUS artwork, FABULOUS rhymes and words, and FABULOUS story altogether! nothing to add, take away, leave it as it is and it is BRILLIANT!!!!!! well done!
This Feedback was...
4/9/2009 12:09 AM PDT
Goodluck Kathy, you are amazing, love Wennie xxxhugs
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 11:35 PM PDT
this was amazing!!!!
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4/8/2009 10:36 PM PDT
Great Artwork!
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 9:15 PM PDT
this is a classic just waiting to be published.
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 9:07 PM PDT
Publish
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4/8/2009 8:23 PM PDT
Good luck. You have my vote :) An interesting concept with an important message. Well done.
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4/8/2009 8:09 PM PDT
I found this worthy of a 'thumbs up' vote. Mostly on the virtues of the text, which I found creative and yet easy to understand. And, also the illustrations which are so important to children's literature. I felt that the primary impact and an important one is to help children to understand that it is o.k. to express emotion. Unfortunately, not all children are given that kind of support in their upbringing. I would not rate this high as a bed time book. From my experienc as a parent a book that is not quite as busy is better for a bed time story. My only piece of constructive critique which is of course, just my opinion. Thanks for sharing your story.
Omanh
Omanh
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 7:51 PM PDT
Loved all the illustrations, except for the last one -- it seemed too dark and "busy" when compared with the darling illustrations of the animals as they were introduced.
Great concept for a children's book. Good luck!
Great concept for a children's book. Good luck!
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4/8/2009 4:43 PM PDT
So cute! You got my vote. =)
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4/8/2009 3:38 PM PDT
looks like it'd be a delightful kids book.. Best of luck and you know i'm voting yes...
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4/8/2009 3:33 PM PDT
got my vote :)
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 2:51 PM PDT
You have got my vote. Love the story and illustrations. Good luck
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 2:03 PM PDT
I vote
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4/8/2009 2:03 PM PDT
I vote to publish
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 1:43 PM PDT
Got my vote!
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4/8/2009 1:27 PM PDT
The pictures are soo adorable, I luv it!
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4/8/2009 1:12 PM PDT
This is a delightful story with a message that will resonate with children and adults. Better than Dr. Seuss. Loved it!
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4/8/2009 12:55 PM PDT
I don't have childrn, but have nieces and nephews. I'm sure they would like this story. Good job.
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 11:20 AM PDT
good luck!
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4/8/2009 9:35 AM PDT
I vote it! and God bless you!!
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 8:47 AM PDT
PUBLISH
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 8:46 AM PDT
PUBLISH!
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 8:46 AM PDT
PUBLISH!
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 8:24 AM PDT
This is too cute NOT to publish. I say, PUBLISH. Please take a moment to look over my work as it vies for your vote. http://www.webook.com/project/Dangerous-Liaison-between-my-Soul-and-Mind
Thanks Edie
Thanks Edie
This Feedback was...
4/8/2009 5:13 AM PDT
Wow you sure have attracted a lot of attention with this one... it is very good I can see why! I wish you all the best with the vote, you can add mine to the collection! Would you mind checking out my book that's out for the vote? Cheers!
http://www.webook.com/project/The-Dissolution-of-Daijun-1-The-A-Gang-Chronicles
http://www.webook.com/project/The-Dissolution-of-Daijun-1-The-A-Gang-Chronicles
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 9:20 PM PDT
Good luck to you Ma'am. Your erudite vocabulary
hearkens to a golden age of children's literature.
My vote is cast.
hearkens to a golden age of children's literature.
My vote is cast.
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4/7/2009 4:46 PM PDT
Got my vote - keep up the good work!
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4/7/2009 4:35 PM PDT
I like it well done
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4/7/2009 4:08 PM PDT
Great fantastic Children will love it and the pictures too
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 4:03 PM PDT
How clever. This is one that I would consider to share with my grandson.
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4/7/2009 3:30 PM PDT
Very nice. You've got my vote.
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4/7/2009 1:28 PM PDT
ooo plz tell me you drew those pictures there soo pretty and amazing
ill vote for you forever!!
ill vote for you forever!!
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 1:18 PM PDT
my grandson's next book for us to share time with
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 12:52 PM PDT
Keep up the good work
B-zy
B-zy
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 12:19 PM PDT
This is very good Kathy you have my vote !
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 11:26 AM PDT
Yes Publish it
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 10:43 AM PDT
this is very good! how sweet! definately publish!
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 9:58 AM PDT
thumbs up kb! I loved this before And I love it now.
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 4:31 AM PDT
This is a wonderful idea - the drawings are delightfully colorful.
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4/6/2009 11:45 PM PDT
Deserves to be published. Would be great to see this delightful tale in print!!!!
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 6:02 PM PDT
You are a very good writer I love your style. I voted for you please vote for my book "King Loverr: Diary of a Philosophical Loner.
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 5:28 PM PDT
lol, I think kids will love it, i did XD. (embarressed look, good God, I liked a childrens book, AND I'M A TEENAGER, WoW, it must be good.)
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 4:01 PM PDT
I agree a wonderful job...I loved it
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4/6/2009 2:48 PM PDT
Thumbs up from me. Great, original idea, good luck for publishing.
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 2:14 PM PDT
Wonderful!
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4/6/2009 1:58 PM PDT
I agree. Better luck to you this time around, KB.
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 11:43 AM PDT
much better with the lovely colourful pics
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 11:36 AM PDT
Publish
Can you look at http://www.webook.com/project/Watch-out
Can you look at http://www.webook.com/project/Watch-out
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 10:07 AM PDT
The children's story was very good and held my attention. It deserves to be published. Hip, Hip, Hooray for it. I love all of your writing, you are very talented. I also loved the art work in the story. Tamara0449
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 9:17 AM PDT
This really GOOD!!! I love the artwork!!!
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 9:05 AM PDT
God bless good luck Kb mike
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 8:11 AM PDT
My son really loved this story. So I could definitly see in the children's section at the local bookstore
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 8:03 AM PDT
A lovely idea for a book and a good emotion to pick for this age group. Good luck and all the best
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 7:36 AM PDT
Ditto Polly's comments...
Self-Development for children... also,
Enlightening and Empowering for all...!
Self-Development for children... also,
Enlightening and Empowering for all...!
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 7:34 AM PDT
Very nice writing and the drawings radiate the emotions. It has a musical touch to it, which I like. Great story!
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4/6/2009 1:37 AM PDT
This book is entertaining, beautiful and profound. The goal set up in the introduction is reached through a story of varying emotions and cute characters who speak with a lot of musicality and who offer possibilities of enriching the vocabulary of children and young adults. Adults might enjoy this story as well.
Hopefully it becomes published.
Hopefully it becomes published.
This Feedback was...
4/1/2009 1:41 PM PDT
Delightful story. Great art!
This Feedback was...
4/1/2009 10:56 AM PDT
Fantastically well done, thumbs up and five stars...Russ
Great for the grand kids..
Great for the grand kids..
This Feedback was...
3/31/2009 2:02 PM PDT
great job!!
This Feedback was...
2/26/2009 11:42 AM PST
good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Feedback was...
8/1/2008 2:49 PM PDT
Yaaay! You have definitely won a publication of your story! I am so happy for you. I have 94 Votes so hopefully will at least come in on the top 10% to be published. I have enjoyed this journey and I must say that your book far exceeds all of the rest. Congratulations. You tell a wonderful story for children to read or to be read to. I was honored to read it. Sincerely, Tamara0449
This Feedback was...
8/1/2008 11:55 AM PDT
Your story actually made me reflect back to my childhood and the love of Dr. Seuss. That is what this story reminds me of. And I am a huge Dr. Seuss fan. I am truly honored to read such a delightful writing.
This Feedback was...
8/1/2008 6:52 AM PDT
grate.
This Feedback was...
8/1/2008 6:51 AM PDT
grat
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7/31/2008 10:57 AM PDT
Have to agree that this is very cute and well written. It is also, however, a bit long for the age of audience at which it seems to be directed in my opinion. My kids are 10,8 and 4 - while they all enjoyed it, the four year old had wandered off before the story was half over. Interesting illustrations may help to prevent that, but if your intended audience is the preschool crowd - that is the audience which was lost while reading this to my own kids.
My eight year old daughter thought it was adorable and wanted to draw the pictures herself :)
My eight year old daughter thought it was adorable and wanted to draw the pictures herself :)
This Feedback was...
7/31/2008 9:57 AM PDT
You know I love your stuff KB :) Keep on writing!!
This Feedback was...
7/31/2008 8:55 AM PDT
I read this and agree with others about the longer words.
Or terms used by therapists like "Delusions" You don't want
some small child asking mom or dad what delusions are.
This sounds like it is for pretty small children. Kindergarten
or first grade. Something you might read at story time or
bed time.
I would condense this as the length might make kids lose
interest. Their attention span isn't very long. Long, adult
terms don't help. Kids might not notice anyway or there
might be one who asks too many questions.
I would recommend that you tweak this a bit.
Or terms used by therapists like "Delusions" You don't want
some small child asking mom or dad what delusions are.
This sounds like it is for pretty small children. Kindergarten
or first grade. Something you might read at story time or
bed time.
I would condense this as the length might make kids lose
interest. Their attention span isn't very long. Long, adult
terms don't help. Kids might not notice anyway or there
might be one who asks too many questions.
I would recommend that you tweak this a bit.
This Feedback was...
7/31/2008 4:36 AM PDT
I loved it
This Feedback was...
7/30/2008 12:50 PM PDT
It was so cute. I loved books like this when i was younger. These are the kinds of things that made me love reading so much after I got older.
This Feedback was...
7/30/2008 9:17 AM PDT
It's a lovely book, honestly. I think it'll be great with some illustrations. I do think it is a little long though. The rhyming did catch my eye though, very cool. And the title is cute.
This Feedback was...
7/30/2008 7:56 AM PDT
It is a little long for children. Other than that, the story is great and full of sweetness and love. That's what children need. Good luck.
This Feedback was...
7/30/2008 6:37 AM PDT
Nice and airy-a fun book to share with your children!!
Robin
(Donna's cousin)
Robin
(Donna's cousin)
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 8:57 PM PDT
a bit too long for some kids to enjoy...
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 8:48 PM PDT
Your story is quite intriguing. I feel like if i had to babysit some kids this would be a story to bring along as not only the kids would be impressed, i would be entertained.
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 8:09 PM PDT
This woman is a great writer I know I'm only 15 but a story like this is great for little ones PERFECTO lolz I hope you get published one day
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 7:29 PM PDT
Great story! I think your right that the rhyming will attract the little ones. By the way, I realized that in the title Nelly is spelled
N-E-L-L-Y and in the story it is spelled N-E-L-L-I-E.
N-E-L-L-Y and in the story it is spelled N-E-L-L-I-E.
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 6:34 PM PDT
great!!
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 6:23 PM PDT
Nice story. I think the rhymes will amuse the little ones.
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 5:27 PM PDT
A delightful story. The rhythm, rhyme and repetition will delight a young child as well! Like many others, I wonder about the length. And I wonder if a child of your target audience is ready for a story that takes several sittings, rather than one. The best thing is the TEST...and it sounds like parents on here have tested it with their young ones and it worked! The vocabulary does not bother me...children learn vocabulary from context, and giving them a book "on their level" vocabulary wise does nothing to increase their vocabulary, so I say good for you on that score!
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 4:06 PM PDT
I think the story is great. Lot`s of tounge twister names kids like to hear. Good luck hope you have much success.
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7/29/2008 1:40 PM PDT
I think children will love this. I would love to see parents try and read this without getting their tongues twisted. I can picture inmy mind these animals speaking and what they will look like. That's what I think a great author should be able to do. Good luck
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 1:32 PM PDT
Even though the story is long, considering the attention span of children, the rhyming and rhythmic tone of the story will really keep their interest. I am a bit concern of some of the words used. Overall, it is a very good book. Hope to see it published.
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 12:20 PM PDT
Sorry, I read my review and I think I may have given you the wrong impression. I meant a couple of my comments to be funny, not serious - I did love Nervous Nelly Nanny Goat. I loved all the animal names and I smiled when I tried to picture parents getting their tongues around the words when reading them out loud. That wasn't a criticism even if it came out like one.
And I love that you're teaching children about all the emotions they may feel and how those emotions are nothing to be afraid of. Children often think that they should always be happy, and can worry to an alarming extent when they perceive something 'wrong' about themselves. More so that teenagers sometimes.
I think this would be great with illustrations. It's a shame that WeBook doesn't have a facility to include illustrations, it would be nice to see how the words and the pictures in this fit together.
Anyway, I liked this a lot,
Fi
And I love that you're teaching children about all the emotions they may feel and how those emotions are nothing to be afraid of. Children often think that they should always be happy, and can worry to an alarming extent when they perceive something 'wrong' about themselves. More so that teenagers sometimes.
I think this would be great with illustrations. It's a shame that WeBook doesn't have a facility to include illustrations, it would be nice to see how the words and the pictures in this fit together.
Anyway, I liked this a lot,
Fi
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 12:10 PM PDT
Hi Kathy,
I just finished reading this. I enjoyed this story and I think the imagery is really great. I don't know what it is about animals, but the children I teach prefer talking animals to talking people, no matter what the speech actually is.
I did think while reading though that I felt a bit sorry for the parents who have to read this out loud each night - Crotchety Crandall Crocodile, Lady Leona Leopard, and some of the others.
I did find it a little long as well, but since of you've stated that you intend for it to be read over several evenings rather than one, I think it's actually a good idea. So many books only last one or two nights, but of course parents need books every nights. Today's favourites might not be tomorrows.
I found a couple of mistakes while I was reading - at least, I think they're mistakes:
Now Bonnie Be Bop Blue Bird has all the B’s you’ve every heard! - 'ever'.
She yelled real loud, “The Leopard’s spots are finer then mine I’ve found!” - 'than'.
He barked out, “I’m sad because I’m old, he said soulfully!” - speechmarks after 'old'?
I hope this is helpful,
Fiona
I just finished reading this. I enjoyed this story and I think the imagery is really great. I don't know what it is about animals, but the children I teach prefer talking animals to talking people, no matter what the speech actually is.
I did think while reading though that I felt a bit sorry for the parents who have to read this out loud each night - Crotchety Crandall Crocodile, Lady Leona Leopard, and some of the others.
I did find it a little long as well, but since of you've stated that you intend for it to be read over several evenings rather than one, I think it's actually a good idea. So many books only last one or two nights, but of course parents need books every nights. Today's favourites might not be tomorrows.
I found a couple of mistakes while I was reading - at least, I think they're mistakes:
Now Bonnie Be Bop Blue Bird has all the B’s you’ve every heard! - 'ever'.
She yelled real loud, “The Leopard’s spots are finer then mine I’ve found!” - 'than'.
He barked out, “I’m sad because I’m old, he said soulfully!” - speechmarks after 'old'?
I hope this is helpful,
Fiona
This Feedback was...
7/29/2008 9:34 AM PDT
Dropped by to vote. I'm a dummy. I replied, but failed to vote because I didn't know how,
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 11:19 PM PDT
wow!..that was good ^_^
I think my nephew would like it
I think my nephew would like it
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 10:21 PM PDT
very good
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 10:16 PM PDT
me thinks kids would like to read this. quite fun! kudos!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 8:49 PM PDT
Not the sort of stuff I usually read, but you have a definite way with words. Very good. I wish I could write as easily as you seem to.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 7:02 PM PDT
I like the alliterative names--Nervous Nelly Nanny Goat is just fun to say--and I think the message is a good one. However, some of the words, like meander and burdensome and contusions, are beyond the vocabulary of your target audience. Also, the rhythm is "off" in some of the stanzas. The lines don't always flow smoothly from one to the next.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 6:05 PM PDT
i think your story is adorable, and it would definately be a book that i would love to read to my 7 yr old daughter! she would like it as well!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 5:25 PM PDT
that was really cute.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 4:53 PM PDT
I love this story, I could picture myself reading it aloud with some thoroughly engrossed child by my side. I would love to see it illustrated.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 4:22 PM PDT
its lovely!!! i think kids would lve it!!!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 3:26 PM PDT
You bring a vocabulary to the table that most children's authors wouldn't dream of. It kind of threw me at first, but all in all I kind of liked it. More importantly, I think this is a nice story that kids and their parents can read together. I only wish I could have seen it with the pictures, too.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 2:51 PM PDT
good
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7/28/2008 1:46 PM PDT
I really enjoyed it..I think that it would be perfect for kids and it reminded me of the stories that I used to read and I'm glad that you brought that style back..very good!!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 1:34 PM PDT
I just read it to my five yr old boy. He LOVED it.
It opened the door for a vocabulary discussion while I explained the words he didn't know.
Thanks for sharing.
It opened the door for a vocabulary discussion while I explained the words he didn't know.
Thanks for sharing.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 1:05 PM PDT
Think this would be a great kids story.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 12:49 PM PDT
i loved actually. i agree though that maybe some of the words are a bit too big for some kids.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 11:49 AM PDT
very cute - it has lots of opportunities for adorable illustrations!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 10:38 AM PDT
I think it was cute
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 10:27 AM PDT
Very well done, children will enjoy this!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 7:20 AM PDT
Wonderful, but I do agree that the words may be a bit difficult for younger ages. It would still be a good vocabulary exercise though. Very well done.
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 6:47 AM PDT
i liked it as well, but some of the words seemd like they might be a little too big or hard to understand for kids under a certain age..
it rhymed really well though and read just like a story more so than as poetry which was nice..
good job!
it rhymed really well though and read just like a story more so than as poetry which was nice..
good job!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 4:48 AM PDT
Adorable concept and good execution!
This Feedback was...
7/28/2008 1:41 AM PDT
This story is well written!! Two Thums Up!!
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 10:23 PM PDT
gee I wish I could add something that others have not but all their words are correct this will keep them yelling for more
please dont stop writing these they are fantastic I wish I could give you more than just four but if that is all they alllow i see
Good luck and my the Great Spirit soar with his hand upon your shoulder
please dont stop writing these they are fantastic I wish I could give you more than just four but if that is all they alllow i see
Good luck and my the Great Spirit soar with his hand upon your shoulder
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 9:10 PM PDT
I loved it that was imagination at it's best, that will keep children's imaginations busy with good things
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 9:08 PM PDT
I don't know what I rated this story at. Sorry, if I hit a low vote. I mean for it to be a high vote.
I did enjoy reading it. I was really enjoying the story, it is so delightful. I am sure children will love this piece, no doubt.
I was having so much fun reading it, that I was disappointed
it had to end. Any chance for part II. LOL I loved it. I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
I did enjoy reading it. I was really enjoying the story, it is so delightful. I am sure children will love this piece, no doubt.
I was having so much fun reading it, that I was disappointed
it had to end. Any chance for part II. LOL I loved it. I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 8:11 PM PDT
A very nice piece for children. A nice message, a nice, fun rhyme scheme, and some fun imagery and interaction.
Very good example of a story in verse, and something I could totally see myself reading to my summer reading program students.
I will say, though, that reading it aloud to yourself is a good idea for editing. Find a few places (which it seems as though there are a few) where there's a small hitch in the rhythm. If it's intentional, then keep it-- if not, then it definitely needs to go.
Also, at the end, you use "to each and every friend" and "end". I question this, as those two together <i>once</i> is usually enough to be considered a forced rhyme, but it's awfully redundant to have them twice together.
Just a thought.
Otherwise, a very nice piece!
Very good example of a story in verse, and something I could totally see myself reading to my summer reading program students.
I will say, though, that reading it aloud to yourself is a good idea for editing. Find a few places (which it seems as though there are a few) where there's a small hitch in the rhythm. If it's intentional, then keep it-- if not, then it definitely needs to go.
Also, at the end, you use "to each and every friend" and "end". I question this, as those two together <i>once</i> is usually enough to be considered a forced rhyme, but it's awfully redundant to have them twice together.
Just a thought.
Otherwise, a very nice piece!
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 6:37 PM PDT
Your rhyming scheme sounds forced at times, and the flow is occasionally interrupted. Read your poem aloud, going through each stanza a few times, and try to develop a steady, natural beat. Don't think you have to stick to the same rhythm all the time, though. You can go change from say a 4/4 beat to a 2/4, or even 5/4, to name a few; as long as you make sure sounds natural when you read it out loud.
Length is a double-edged sword in this case. Each encounter is short. They're quick messages said in a cute way, so kids don't get hung up on them.
But you have too many encounters. 7049 words for a children's book? I can see this lengthened into a series of books, where Nervous Nelle Nanny Goat travels around to different areas. Maybe she's exploring her neighborhood in the first book, and then heads off to various all places in the proceeding ones (all up to you, of course).
Overall it was a nice story.
Length is a double-edged sword in this case. Each encounter is short. They're quick messages said in a cute way, so kids don't get hung up on them.
But you have too many encounters. 7049 words for a children's book? I can see this lengthened into a series of books, where Nervous Nelle Nanny Goat travels around to different areas. Maybe she's exploring her neighborhood in the first book, and then heads off to various all places in the proceeding ones (all up to you, of course).
Overall it was a nice story.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 6:34 PM PDT
oh, lovely!
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 4:36 PM PDT
Oh ...this is stunning!
It held my attention all the way through,
i think a child would delight in this.
The characters ,
the rhythm....
the message....
Your talent and imagination really come through on thios very first piece i read of yours.
Sheer delight.
LOWELL
It held my attention all the way through,
i think a child would delight in this.
The characters ,
the rhythm....
the message....
Your talent and imagination really come through on thios very first piece i read of yours.
Sheer delight.
LOWELL
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 4:35 PM PDT
Wow! I know that any child would love that!
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 3:41 PM PDT
I Love it.. great work and Style
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 3:09 PM PDT
It's very good and I am sure that the children will love it, especially when the pictures are added. You may want to make it a little shorter as children have a short attention span and may not be able to sit through the whole story.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 3:05 PM PDT
I read this to my youngest daughter and she enjoyed it as much as I did - the only negative I saw was that it was a bit long.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 2:24 PM PDT
its a little long and it needs editing and to be simplified a tad. great story though.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 1:51 PM PDT
Wonderfully surprising. It wowed me. I'm sure any kid and adult will love it.
Hope to see it in an anthology.
Hope to see it in an anthology.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 1:30 PM PDT
A sweet sentiment, although some of the rhythms were off.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 12:27 PM PDT
That was a great poem and children of all ages can get something from it... Keep Writing!!1
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 11:58 AM PDT
Wow that was really good and with the illustrations, it would be such a cool childrens book.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 11:57 AM PDT
Hi K. B.
I think your Nanny Goat...poem is refreshing in the way you have explored human emotions through the curious mind of Nanny Goat.
I like that! Keep up the good work.
I think your Nanny Goat...poem is refreshing in the way you have explored human emotions through the curious mind of Nanny Goat.
I like that! Keep up the good work.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 11:32 AM PDT
What a wonderful imaginary story. You are definitely very gifted.
This isn't just a children's story. There is a story here for everyone hidden within a children's story.
This would be great to use helping children get in touch with their emotions (feelings) and those of others.
I am 56 years old and it lifted my spirits.
This isn't just a children's story. There is a story here for everyone hidden within a children's story.
This would be great to use helping children get in touch with their emotions (feelings) and those of others.
I am 56 years old and it lifted my spirits.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 11:31 AM PDT
It absolutely has the makings of a great book. It does need editing. A child might be able to understand four or five different nuances behind crying, and will probably pay attention for no more than 10 minutes, so I would pick four or five characters that really stand out, and focus on them.
Also I found the beginning unclear. What exactly was she setting out do do? Be selfless? Quiz the children who are having the story read to them?
Last, though she is painted to be selfless, she does come off as a bit of a buttinsky, wandering around town asking everyone their business, just to move on to the next, then the next... and finally congratulate herself. I would be nervous teaching that lesson to my kids! Consider an ending where she herself gets teary, perhaps tears of empathy (not a bad lesson for kids), and is comforted in return. That's a lesson that a lot of parents would want to teach their children.
Again overall I think you are really, truly on to something, just needs an editing eye cast upon it now.
Also I found the beginning unclear. What exactly was she setting out do do? Be selfless? Quiz the children who are having the story read to them?
Last, though she is painted to be selfless, she does come off as a bit of a buttinsky, wandering around town asking everyone their business, just to move on to the next, then the next... and finally congratulate herself. I would be nervous teaching that lesson to my kids! Consider an ending where she herself gets teary, perhaps tears of empathy (not a bad lesson for kids), and is comforted in return. That's a lesson that a lot of parents would want to teach their children.
Again overall I think you are really, truly on to something, just needs an editing eye cast upon it now.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 10:27 AM PDT
This would make a great children's book. Good work
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 9:49 AM PDT
Very cute for children! Great work!
-Shalyni
-Shalyni
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 9:18 AM PDT
Awesome! I'll show this to my little brother. 5/5
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 9:14 AM PDT
I loved it! I read it to my 3 year old grandson and now he's talking about Nervous Nellie Nanny Goat.
By the way thanks for your feedback.
I look forward to reading more from you.
By the way thanks for your feedback.
I look forward to reading more from you.
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 7:30 AM PDT
I really, really like this!
This Feedback was...
7/27/2008 12:09 AM PDT
This could use quite a bit of tightening. I would suggest thinking carefully about how it reads aloud (some lines seem squeezed in, others sound contrived to fit). One thing that will help with this is more careful punctuation.
The story is long and I agree with Xtom that some of the language could be taken as condescending. So, more editing! It has the makings of a delightful story!
The story is long and I agree with Xtom that some of the language could be taken as condescending. So, more editing! It has the makings of a delightful story!
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 10:19 PM PDT
Um, also, but It's in "But best of all it's what she wrote" is a bit ambiguous, especially to a child. I'm not sure if you're refering to the rest of the story as what Nervous Nellie Nanny Goat wrote, or if she wrote about the first three lines.
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 10:16 PM PDT
For a children's book it is alright, though "Before I’m through - the answer comes to me not you!" sounds a bit condescending even to a child, I'd suggest dropping the "not you!" from it.
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 8:46 PM PDT
I absolutely love the story. Keep it up!
~Miki
~Miki
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 12:17 PM PDT
This is a lovely story, and although it is long, it can be read in parts to keep the child's interest and anticipation.
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 10:31 AM PDT
That was reall good. It would be a great story to read to your children during bedtime!
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 9:35 AM PDT
I think this is a wonderful childrens story.
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 8:09 AM PDT
I liked it, but I have to admit that it is rather long. I think all of us who have small children know that their attention span is very short at times. But I do like the way you approached your subject and the format makes it very catchy whic makes you want to finishh reading it. I gave you four stars. Very well done.
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 6:42 AM PDT
this is great and doesn't need to be shorter or have any of the more complex words changed ...its superb. One point the word randy means sexy in australian and Im only thinking of your international readership! cheers
This Feedback was...
7/26/2008 5:30 AM PDT
This is rele cute and a lovely childrens poem :)
This Feedback was...
7/25/2008 6:49 PM PDT
I enjoyed it. It would be something I would read to my kids ( If I had any lol) I hope it's on the book shelf when I do have them. Kepp it up.
This Feedback was...
7/25/2008 6:38 PM PDT
Way too long for a children's book. Needs to be pared down considerably.
This Feedback was...
7/25/2008 2:03 PM PDT
This tale has great potential. With some careful editing to make it more concise, resolve the cadence issues, plus artwork, it will be very fun to read to my two girls (ages 3 and 1.5 years).
I would keep the length down by limiting the number of characters to 4 or 5. Perhaps you could split it into two shorter books, a series?
The complex words are not a problem, in my opinion. Parents would normally be reading a story like this to their kids. I think thetarget audience is the under-four set.
I would keep the length down by limiting the number of characters to 4 or 5. Perhaps you could split it into two shorter books, a series?
The complex words are not a problem, in my opinion. Parents would normally be reading a story like this to their kids. I think thetarget audience is the under-four set.
This Feedback was...
7/25/2008 1:50 PM PDT
I enjonyed this childrens story. Great storyline.
This Feedback was...
7/25/2008 10:49 AM PDT
enjoyed it immensely!! entertaining and educational at the same time... Loved it because its enjoyable, easy to understand and its like a nursery rhyme... and its great for a child.. Hope tht it'll inspire them to read and maybe write their own little poems!!Great job!
This Feedback was...
7/25/2008 5:23 AM PDT
this was done very well!
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 8:21 PM PDT
This isn't my genre, yet I appreciate the creativity and message it brings. I do agree that perhaps there are a few complex words that may need to be simplified and the cadence being off in spots. I really is very cute and a great message about feelings for kiddos. Great job and good luck on the contest!
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 7:19 PM PDT
I have a very old book. It was my mothers growing up and it had been passed on to me. The cover is orange is made of some sort of cloth almost, and I know for sure it was one book out of a series of a collection. In that book is old childrens poems. Classics. As I was reading this, I was reminded of that book. Your story, poemwould fit perfectly with the other classic storys in my book. Fantastic really.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 7:09 PM PDT
I found this to be very creative writing, and so perfect for a child.
and this gives a lesson also of being kind and sensitive to others' feelings. keep up the good work!
and this gives a lesson also of being kind and sensitive to others' feelings. keep up the good work!
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 6:47 PM PDT
I like it a lot. It is super cute and has a good message.
There are a few spelling errors and a few words that are big but other than that I love it. Very nice.
There are a few spelling errors and a few words that are big but other than that I love it. Very nice.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 5:03 PM PDT
I think that the biggish words isn't much of a problem. I also understand what others are saying about the cadence being off in places, but I think that would be fixed by putting the line breaks in the right places, and treating it like a story with lots of rhymes in it, rather than a poem with a rigid rhyme scheme.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 4:28 PM PDT
Well done you. I have to say I never read anything quite like it. On a different topic, I'm a huge fan of Roberts' JD Robb "In Death' sequence. I'd love a movie version.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 2:51 PM PDT
I like the overall moral of the story. and the character names are very catchy!
but some words are incomprehensible to the targeted age group. (meandered, antics, delusions)
obviously, illustrations are a significant part of children's books. So once the pictures are put up, the story will tie together.
but some words are incomprehensible to the targeted age group. (meandered, antics, delusions)
obviously, illustrations are a significant part of children's books. So once the pictures are put up, the story will tie together.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 11:49 AM PDT
Very good. While the text be a little long.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 8:34 AM PDT
I like the overall message, but I feel its very long, and it is repetitive. The other issue, which I'm not sure if anyone has brought up, is that the reading level of this book is far higher than the target audience- meaning that little kids who might like the book best, can't read it and even with a parent's help, there are a whole lot of adult words- meander, contusions, confusions, and words like "soulfully" are compound words. Soul would be hard enough for a child, because of the "ou" being something new in itself, but then by taking on a fully at the end, its really a 3 tier word- soul, then ful, to make it soulful, and then to make it more complicated you make someone feel soulful, to get soulfully.
The rhyming is good, and I think it could lend itself to great illustrations, and that would be fun, but there is also to me a flow problem at times, some lines are very long followed by short lines and so as I try to read, I have to slow myself down on the short line to keep the rhythm.
I think its good but I don't really have an uniform opinion of it.
The rhyming is good, and I think it could lend itself to great illustrations, and that would be fun, but there is also to me a flow problem at times, some lines are very long followed by short lines and so as I try to read, I have to slow myself down on the short line to keep the rhythm.
I think its good but I don't really have an uniform opinion of it.
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 5:38 AM PDT
As the other messages have stated It is important to let children know it is okay to express how you feel. Especially with the boys to many men out there tell there kids false statements like "Real men don't cry." or "Real men never lose a fight"
On a different note I also have a book in this competition called "Funny Family Tales" and your vote would be appreciated .
On a different note I also have a book in this competition called "Funny Family Tales" and your vote would be appreciated .
This Feedback was...
7/24/2008 1:32 AM PDT
Good luck to you in the competition!
I really enjoyed reading this, and I think it is important that our children be taught that it is okay to cry and to learn that showing your feelings is never wrong. Too many times today children are taught that they should be strong and not show emotion. If all children were like that, our future generations would be in a sad state .
I will be reading this to my grandchildren, and I know they will love it as much as I enjoyed reading it!
Again, good luck to you!
I really enjoyed reading this, and I think it is important that our children be taught that it is okay to cry and to learn that showing your feelings is never wrong. Too many times today children are taught that they should be strong and not show emotion. If all children were like that, our future generations would be in a sad state .
I will be reading this to my grandchildren, and I know they will love it as much as I enjoyed reading it!
Again, good luck to you!
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 9:45 PM PDT
overall- I liked the message. Anything that encourages children to not only express themselves but in doing so- understand themselves better.
sometimes the cadance of the rhymes was off, but like many others have said- Mommy, Daddy and beautiful illustrations go a long way.
(my children's book needs illustrations too)
good luck -pamela
sometimes the cadance of the rhymes was off, but like many others have said- Mommy, Daddy and beautiful illustrations go a long way.
(my children's book needs illustrations too)
good luck -pamela
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 7:47 PM PDT
great story! expressing emotion is not something taught to children very often. we're always taught to behave and be "good" kids, but never to look in within ourselves and express our thoughts and feelings. maybe it's cuz we think kids are just kids? dunno, anyhow i ramble, great story again.
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 6:52 PM PDT
I must say, this is the first story i have read to my 15 month old girl, and she actually sat thru the whole thing giggling in ertain places. My 3 year old kept asking for pictures and i tole her you would soon have them and i would show them to her,,, they reallly liked it so of course i did to,,, this is something that i cant wait to see on the stands because i will by it to read again to my children
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 6:48 PM PDT
As a parent of an autistic child who would benifit from reading this extremely wonderful story I am very pleased. I do not think it should be cut down or revised in any way. Children with sensory and emotional issues benifit from this kind of story because the rhyming keeps it fun and helps explain that crying is all part of expressing feelings AND IT"S OK TO CRY. Children who are involved with communication handicapped programs would benifit from this story. I would love to see this story illustrated in a movie version. It's wonderful and will be a success!!!
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 6:25 PM PDT
I read it and...uhhhhhh...I'm sorry but it isn't really my thing. I like the darker stuff when it comes to poetry/books. This seems like a little kid might like it though...if you like this sort of stuff then you might not want to read my books they aren't really like this at all actually...sorry...I kinda got bored while reading it.
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 6:02 PM PDT
I tried to read this to both my boys...they got bored and went away ...might be a book for older female kids...I too got bored sorry
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 5:53 PM PDT
Its a good story.
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7/23/2008 3:40 PM PDT
I enjoyed it though I'd have to agree with Sarah, it does need to be tightened and cut down some. I really like the approach you took on it though.
Good Luck!
Good Luck!
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 2:05 PM PDT
I think this needs to be tightened and cut down quite a bit to be read-aloud-able. Others have made good comments about the length and the take-away message.
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 12:55 PM PDT
I loved it. It would definetly be something that I would read to my children
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7/23/2008 12:31 PM PDT
this is good its too long that i can't reading
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7/23/2008 11:45 AM PDT
Loved the poetry route. I liked that the story sent two messages - that you should "lend a helping hand to each and every friend", and that, like JAYNEBONILLA says, it's okay to let others see your emotions.
Good luck!!!
-Daydreaming
Good luck!!!
-Daydreaming
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 10:42 AM PDT
This is very clever and there is nothing more important than encouraging children to express their emotions. Best of Luck!
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 10:30 AM PDT
I liked it :D
Can't wait for illustrations!
Can't wait for illustrations!
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 9:58 AM PDT
I really love the idea and the concept , there is alot that the kids can take from the moral of the story. I do think that there are some places where the flow could be a little better, and maybe consider taking out one or two of the animals Nellie meets to shorten it a bit... other then that I would definety buy it :D happy writing
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 9:35 AM PDT
The story needs to flow a little bit better. I think the illustrations will help.
This Feedback was...
7/23/2008 7:45 AM PDT
Fun rhymes, but I'm not clear why all the animals are crying. Do they start when Nervous Nelly approaches them, or does she only approach crying animals?
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7/23/2008 4:50 AM PDT
Childrens books are not my thing so I'm not a good judge. It seems long, but if Mom or Dad were reading this to the child, it might not seem that way. I will say this is made for artwork. I can visualize the goat and friends, so the verse will be amplified by the art. I know kids love that. Well, good luck. I think it's a lot better than Madonna's childrens book.
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7/23/2008 1:23 AM PDT
I do have to qualify my praise by saying that childrens' books aren't really my thing; but this one was done very, very well.
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 11:38 PM PDT
I love the use of poetry in Childrens writing. Dr.Suess would be proud!
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 9:47 PM PDT
Good stuff and the forthcoming illustrations will make it complete.
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 9:19 PM PDT
I think the forthcoming illustrations and a page by page breakdown of this enormous fifth column of ryhme will bring it more fully into the realm of children's literature. I'm glad to have read it; thank you...
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 7:24 PM PDT
Very very cute:) As I said before children will love this and the illustrations will make it even more magnificent.
Good luck Kathy
Caz
Good luck Kathy
Caz
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 6:05 PM PDT
It was good but too repetative for its length. If you wanted something of it's length don't make it so repetitive or it may get boring after a while. You've already read some of the things 100 times so it's old. Liven it up more.
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 5:34 PM PDT
Very heart warming I think it'll do good in the contest
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 5:06 PM PDT
PS- my favorite was the crocodile!!! it definitley had me giggling!!! kudos!
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 5:03 PM PDT
aww this was adorable!! i love the message you are sending. even if younger children cant understand it right away the rhyme scheme and silly animal names will definitley keep them entertained!!! this is a job well done!!!
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 4:06 PM PDT
I read it and its very good, very fun to read
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 4:06 PM PDT
This is a cute idea. I'm afraid the language and the syntax might be a bit too advanced for the age group it's aimed at. It would also need illustrations to make it complete.
I really like the topic, and the way you approach it.
I really like the topic, and the way you approach it.
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 4:00 PM PDT
Great storie... a smige of editing left but its good...
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 3:00 PM PDT
thats really good. it made me laugh and i loved it.
keep up the good work darling
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
keep up the good work darling
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 2:50 PM PDT
Like the story, but really long. It's a great idea though!
~Britt~
~Britt~
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 12:05 PM PDT
Like the idea and the story, I worry a touch about the length, but with a great illustrator it would probably do well
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 8:06 AM PDT
It's rare to find a children's story that deals with emotions... This is great!!
This Feedback was...
7/22/2008 7:39 AM PDT
Very Good. I'd read it to my four year old!
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 9:09 PM PDT
This is great! I'm sure that kids will love it!!! At least my little sister did! : ] (I read it out loud to her, and she thought it was great!)
Excellent job!
~M
Excellent job!
~M
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 7:32 PM PDT
very good:D
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 7:03 PM PDT
Very nice KB
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 4:55 PM PDT
ha ha ha
its hilarious-in a good way
i loved it
its hilarious-in a good way
i loved it
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 3:14 PM PDT
That's excellent! I love the way you rhyme it ... it's really nice and keeps the rythm going!
Awesome!
Love,
Ayesha
Awesome!
Love,
Ayesha
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 2:12 PM PDT
I love this,This is better than Dr.Suse forget 1 fish 2 fish red fish blue fish your Nany Goat story is great I like the rhyme it all fits and you get funny pictures of your characters. I love books or stories that unfold like a movie in my mind your childrens book does ufold not like a movie but a childs cartoon. I mean that as a complement not an insult to your book keep writing I hope you have more stories like this in you.
Your friend Irish Poet
Your friend Irish Poet
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 2:08 PM PDT
I liked it. It read just like Dr. Seuss.
I think the following awkward line should be rewritten:
Walking away feeling fonder day by day of all the animals – I dare to say!
An earlier line, "Nervous Nellie Nanny Goat slyly looked back, although she didn’t know why?" has a question mark and perhaps it shouldn't.
I think the following awkward line should be rewritten:
Walking away feeling fonder day by day of all the animals – I dare to say!
An earlier line, "Nervous Nellie Nanny Goat slyly looked back, although she didn’t know why?" has a question mark and perhaps it shouldn't.
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 12:33 PM PDT
awesome!!! I enjoyed it
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 11:33 AM PDT
K.B A wonderful children's book this will make.
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 10:49 AM PDT
I was a little skeptical of the book at first. I feel like there are a few flow problems but the more I read the more I liked it. I was wondering what your target age is. The story is a bit long counting through your paragraphs you are looking at around a 34 page children's book which would be good for like a first grader.
You may have the makings of a good series of books. I would think about breaking the book up into smaller shorter books. I like when Nellie helps solve her friends problems. If you do think of breaking the books up you can think about having nellie try on the feelings of her friends and/or solve their problems. I saw a few bigger words like candor. While parents can explain these words and broadening vocabulary is a great thing you might want to use simpler words to help the kids connect better with the book. Again it all depends on your target audience. If you are looking at a children's book for kids who can read alone bigger words aren't that big of a deal but if you want to sell to younger kids you might want to use smaller more simple words.
I know this sounds like a lot of criticism I don't intend it that way because I think you really do have some good stuff here. I just think it needs a few adjustments before print.
You may have the makings of a good series of books. I would think about breaking the book up into smaller shorter books. I like when Nellie helps solve her friends problems. If you do think of breaking the books up you can think about having nellie try on the feelings of her friends and/or solve their problems. I saw a few bigger words like candor. While parents can explain these words and broadening vocabulary is a great thing you might want to use simpler words to help the kids connect better with the book. Again it all depends on your target audience. If you are looking at a children's book for kids who can read alone bigger words aren't that big of a deal but if you want to sell to younger kids you might want to use smaller more simple words.
I know this sounds like a lot of criticism I don't intend it that way because I think you really do have some good stuff here. I just think it needs a few adjustments before print.
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 10:44 AM PDT
I think this works well as a children's book also. I thought it was a little long though. The wonderful world of emo animals!
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 9:33 AM PDT
This works well as a children's book.
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 8:34 AM PDT
"Now Bonnie Be Bop Blue Bird has all the B’s you’ve every heard!" -- typo, word should probably be "ever" rather than "every"?
“Don’t you dare, and he gave a nasty stare!
-- missing a quotation mark
“Oh, no, please don’t” cried Nervous Nellie Nanny Goat,
-- punctuation again.
“I’m sad because I’m old, he said soulfully!”
-- misplaced quotation marks
that was all I saw, I think.
It's a really cute story, though it may be a bit long - however, I really liked the repetitions and the fact that Nelly always tried to help when she could. I really liked the fact that you used some uncommon words - slightly bigger and more complicated than the ones normally found in children's books, but I think vocabulary building should start early.
Really good work. I give you 4 stars!
“Don’t you dare, and he gave a nasty stare!
-- missing a quotation mark
“Oh, no, please don’t” cried Nervous Nellie Nanny Goat,
-- punctuation again.
“I’m sad because I’m old, he said soulfully!”
-- misplaced quotation marks
that was all I saw, I think.
It's a really cute story, though it may be a bit long - however, I really liked the repetitions and the fact that Nelly always tried to help when she could. I really liked the fact that you used some uncommon words - slightly bigger and more complicated than the ones normally found in children's books, but I think vocabulary building should start early.
Really good work. I give you 4 stars!
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 7:27 AM PDT
Enjoyed it!
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 1:56 AM PDT
I love this!
This Feedback was...
7/21/2008 1:40 AM PDT
An excellent story, I think that the illistartions will set it off perfectly. It's the type of story that children will read again and again.
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 11:09 PM PDT
you are very talented, my friend...and are using your talent for good! So refreshing.
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 9:21 PM PDT
i loved it, so descriptive
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 9:21 PM PDT
So very sweet! The duck was my favorite part. I don't really know why, but it just made me happy inside. And the end was very nice. I did, however, notice one small spelling error:
"..to find out all theses answers." Just thought I'd point that out.
Thanks for the lovely feedback on my project as well!
"..to find out all theses answers." Just thought I'd point that out.
Thanks for the lovely feedback on my project as well!
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 8:56 PM PDT
amazng
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 7:19 PM PDT
It was a great story, good luck to you in helping children.
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 7:10 PM PDT
Oh, wow! Fantastic! I wanna be a kid again. (OK, I'm a 58-y.o. kid -- lotsa experience, but I wanna be four again!)
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 6:49 PM PDT
I love people to write to help children. I have seen to many young thrwo away hildren over thirty years in street life. The value of reading educates a growing young mind instead of drugs and the street . These are the two biggest ways to stop street life knowledge and school. Tell tamara I cast vote for her to. anything to help people to knwo what street life is really like. good luck the children need you. Mike
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 6:31 PM PDT
I simply loved your Children's story 'Nervous Nelly Nanny Goat.' It was full of emotion and was a great story. Thank you very much for allowing me to read it. Sincerely, Tamara0449 Author of 'A Chosen Journey' under 'Mind, Body and Health' on Projects on page 2. I hope that you check out my novel and vote for it if you find it deserving. Thank you.
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 11:03 AM PDT
Anything to do with Children's Literature is bound to be this good.
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 10:12 AM PDT
What a very delightful story poem for children.
Oh, I can just see them listening or even reading it themselves this children's book.
This book should be an illustrated book, as the wording in it is so grand for children to see the animals that you portray here.
The only error which I observed was that birds are not in a herd, they are in a flock. Other than this, you have really outdone yourself with this darling story book.
Oh, I can just see them listening or even reading it themselves this children's book.
This book should be an illustrated book, as the wording in it is so grand for children to see the animals that you portray here.
The only error which I observed was that birds are not in a herd, they are in a flock. Other than this, you have really outdone yourself with this darling story book.
This Feedback was...
7/20/2008 9:36 AM PDT
It does take a special gift to be able to write for children. And it is especially good when all of us that are older can enjoy it as well.
This Feedback was...
7/19/2008 8:25 PM PDT
This rocks KB. I was too preachy when I tried to write childrens books. The rhyming on this keeps the interest level high to the finish. Great job. :-)
This Feedback was...
7/19/2008 4:18 PM PDT
Wonderful!
This Feedback was...
7/19/2008 10:34 AM PDT
Good stuff mate, I cast my vote!
This Feedback was...
7/19/2008 9:22 AM PDT
Children's stories aren't exactly my thing, but I think if I was younger and had this read to me a little at a time every night I'd laugh and giggle quite a bit, good work.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 11:41 PM PDT
Great Work!
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 9:24 PM PDT
It's very good, but to me it seems a little long for the age group that it's aimed at, unless it's a bedtime story :p
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 6:52 PM PDT
This is great work. It really paints the picture of the story.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 6:39 PM PDT
Kathy,
Excellent book! Hopefully it gets published.
Excellent book! Hopefully it gets published.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 4:58 PM PDT
Good luck to ya! i agree with BigDaddyCash that you should get a ten!
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 3:48 PM PDT
I tend to agree with AndiJayne, the cadence just seems a bit off in places. In part because the different stanzas vary so significantly in length. The story itself is creative, but it could benefit from a bit more time and attention.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 12:48 PM PDT
On a scale from one to ten, I'd give you a ten
But here there is only five, so I vote five and hope it will put you in the winners circle. Good Luck
But here there is only five, so I vote five and hope it will put you in the winners circle. Good Luck
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 12:33 PM PDT
I truly love this child's story. Great job!
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 11:21 AM PDT
I am reading this to my 5 year old now
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 10:18 AM PDT
A wonderful story to help children understand
different emotions and ways to solve them.
different emotions and ways to solve them.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 9:51 AM PDT
Thanks everyone!
7/18/2008 6:38 AM PDT
I like this story. it makes you feel good.
Nia
Nia
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 6:31 AM PDT
It is a great story, but I think it could use some work on the rhyme-scheme--it feels a little forced.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 4:37 AM PDT
Great story.
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 2:52 AM PDT
This is a masterpiece of words!
This Feedback was...
7/18/2008 1:22 AM PDT
Delightful
This Feedback was...
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