Good material here.  Although "Teased Girl" needs a bit more work.  Use a rhyme scheme or don't--be consistent about it.  "Pretty Girl" makes for a nice cautionary horror tale.;)

you have my vote.

Good. I like Pretty Girl Best.  Good Luck, CF.

Thaks for the vote! Very good peoms on your part as well. Thanks for the link!

Very vivid images, especially in the last poem.
Nicely done.
Good luck and looking forward to reading more of your work.

Excellent Work.

http://www.webook.com/project/Animal-Cruelty

Excellent, you got my vote

http://www.webook.com/project/Poem-of-the-stars

teased girl has bite  Wellsaid

I am pleased to have stumbled across these entries.

I thought that 'Pretty Girl' was the strongest of the three, in style, content and flow. The other's, however, are not too far behind.

I think with a little work on the meter 'Teased Girl' could be amazing. I have certainly been intrigued by your entries and love your choice of topics. I will certainly be reading more of your works in the future.

The very best of luck with the vote.

http://www.webook.com/project/My-3-Emotive-Entries

"Pretty Girl" is the best of the three, because it uses a more original style, which differs greatly from the other two.  Here the tone is very dark and ironic.  The contrast of "pretty" against what befalls this young girl makes it more dramatic.  The diction here is interesting, compelling, the descriptions to not rely on adjectives, like "fingers of ice" instead of "cold fingers," which makes it a more powerful image.  "Teased Girl" and "Storms" present beautiful sentiments, but the language is plain compared to "Pretty Girl," the verses are more predictable.  In particular, the scattered rhyme in "Teased Girl" takes away from it.  "Storms" offers nothing new in terms of contemplative poetry of the ocean, sands, etc.  I think your voice really comes through in the darker tones, the creative descriptions that are shown at their best in "Pretty Girl."  Great work!!

Teased Girl was beautiful, and I really enjoyed its story as the poem progressed. I also really liked the truth that you portrayed within it, like a person carries their experiences with them no matter where they go (good and bad, unfortunately more bad than good for this girl :(......  )

Storms was magnificent. I really loved the imagery of the beach, the foot prints in the sand, and crashing waves ;)
Also the message itself is really well thought out. This is how I interpreted it: When everything around you seems to be well and is well, don't be afraid of change in your life. Even if that change brings a storm or obstacle your way you can walk on looking for your purpose. (Hopefully I didn't miss the wagon on that interpretation)

Pretty girl was beautiful as well. I like how each of your poems have a story to them with a slightly hidden truth tied within.

You had great imagery, great flow, and great emotion throughout your pieces. Very well done, and you have my vote.

These pieces paint pictures very well, from fear and bitterness, to hope and carelessness. I liked them very much and hope you get the votes you need to get them published.

These were beautiful!

http://www.webook.com/project/In-Times-Of-Love-There-Were

Good Luck

RJ

publish;

please;
http://www.webook.com/project/Born-of-The-Sun

interesting reading, good luck



http://www.webook.com/project/My-Poetic-Thoughts-and-Rambles

Just voted for you.

http://www.webook.com/project/Top-3-Poems-of-Assorted-Interest

Your very good ideas are sadly spoilt by insufficient care taken over the writing of the actual poem.

I will give you an example from 'Storm' - You write:-

Peace and Tranquility rein (should be reign) with every crashing wave.

To my mind a crashing wave does not conjure up Peace and Tranquility.

There are many similar examples to be found in your poetry and it is a shame.

You have much talent and you need to concentrate on improving how you express these great ideas.

In my opinion, and I stress it is only my opinion, they are not worthy of publication in their present form.

Please do not let my remarks discourage you - all I want is to improve the quality of your poetry - having good ideas and sentiments is not enough on its own.

Hope this will help you produce prose that I can't wait to rush to read in the near future.

Good luck and Kind Regards John

I voted yes!
Great job!

~Kate

You tell stories, almost, in the first two. The third one was unexpected and by far the best.  I loved the dark, yet possibly contemporary subject matter.

My only suggestion to you ... and by no means am I a poet, but I think where they are longer, you should seperate your words into some kind of organised stanzas .. .not possible here now, but maybe for your other work this would be a good idea,  When, I read these, I did that in my mind, and they say so much more, perhaps, as they were intended to.  Even this last one, maybe could have had the odd line even as a stanza ... maybe where the perpetrator speaks.

"You will see pretty girl"

Then write the rest of your poem until;

"Don't you know yet?"

You see how these become more menacing when they are isolated.  Also really really think about the words you use in your free form prose so it doesn't read like a paragraph  from a book. The last few lines:

Don't you know yet?
Not to meet blindly off the Internet
The price to pay for her life was
No one would ever call her "pretty girl" again        could read as this perhaps:

"Don't you know yet?"

The price to pay
for meeting strangers from the internet
became all too clear.

"I grant you your life ... but your face is mine."

No one would call her pretty again.

Or something to that effect ... as I say I'm no expert ... just my humble opinion ... but just do your words justice; make them pop - especially when they are dramatic ... and experiment with your stanzas ... when they should be seperated.

Keep going .. and I wish you the best for the competition.



http://www.webook.com/project/Quirked

very interesting...
I really like your style.
PUBLISH!!!!

If you want to read mine:

http://www.webook.com/project/Voodoo-Hearts-My-3-Poems-for-entry-Webook-2009poetryVOTE

thank you.

You've got my vote.

http://www.webook.com/project/My-Poetic-Trilogy

Three very good poems - a yes vote.
Best wishes,
Mike.

http://www.webook.com/project/Verse-Macabre

I voted for you and wish you luck.
would you look at my entries and tell me what you think?
www.webook.com/project/3-4-poetry-contest