General:
I could understand, I'm still in school and I have terrible grammar. This is just a rough draft.

Plot:
I want to experiment something I have never done before in writing.

Character Development:
Trust me she is nothing like me. She likes solitude. I can't stand except when I'm reading or writing. She is just the girl who isn't really fond of people because what she sees in society and what she grew up around. I can see why she is sort of judgmental. She just does what she wants to do and let other people be, though she can have her own opinions about them.

General:
Using the word word multiple times at the start. I thin it was when when you meant where I can't remember exactly. Too many spelling errors make people doubt any professionalism you have so correcting those using word and roreading your work is a good idea.

Plot:
No nonsense about dreams when she's awake. They don't fit smoothly

Character Development:
Ville's slightly dislikeable because she seems very judgemental of others. Like the girls shaking their butts - it's not a key thing in the story. It seems like you just want to express your own opinions. Things like the who** word make her seem crude. Girls identify with nicer characters.

You pronounce Ville like (Vill-ee)

Comment Please