Good job and good luck!

couldn't stop to put it down

really good

I read it all. . .all 44 chapters . . .It's just great!!!  Where the hell did you learn to write like this? (Would you look at the chapter about Shout. . .and tell me what's missing?)  I hope the vote goes well for you.

Good job and good luck!

Actually, let me clarify.  I thought that what I read (parts of the first three chapters) demonstrated strong writing ability. 

However, I did not get captivated by the story to the point that I wanted to read the whole thing.  Don't let that discourage you -- I expect that I am not in your intended audience.  ;-D

Nicely done!  Good Luck!

Wow.  The first chapter was really powerful.  I'm def reading on.  Good luck and bravo!
~Britt~
(btw, I agree fully with Sheeva)

I can really picture the whole area like it's some movie set..

The descriptions are great. . .not just the characters but the landscape (city and country).  I feel a building of an unclear event in the future.  I think I understand that you are in the character construction stage. . .and I haven't read ahead,but these guys didn't operate in a vacuum.  I think you could enhance  a character by showing how they interacted with others outside their circle.  For example with Snafu, weave an example of his slackery into an interaction with somebody outside the circle of friends.  Make a point of it with that strangers reponse. . .positive or negative.  Doesn't have to be but a line or two. . .something said and something said back.

Just something to think about.  Story is good, though.  Since there is several chapters and I have limited time, I will do 3 at a time.  I see your story is being voted on.  Good Luck!  Maybe you will hit the big time.
Thanks