Rat and Alice

What happens when Alice doesnt keep her home clean and tidy? An obnoxious Rat comes to live with her, but not by invitation. She must learn how to send him packing!

Children learn that without keeping things orderly and clean; it can invite disaster. Alice is an elderly lady who stopped picking up after herself. Over time her home became messy, unclean and unorganized. That is when a very assertive, domineering and lazy Rat comes to live with Alice. Alice quickly learns that this Rat is very troublesome and realizes the only way to get rid of him is to clean up her messes.

GIVE FEEDBACK

Sign-Up or Login to Leave Feedback

Earlier Feedback

Mervson

10/27/2009 9:22 AM PDT

I posted this on the 3rd Chapter but thought it should be up front.
I am brand new to this so please accept my apology for posting in 2 spots.
The story has potential. I would like to see alice learn her lesson while young and living at home.

Her parents could always be telling her to clean up. etc and then lead up to the visitor coming . Maybe the mess causes her parents or siblings to be lost in the house.

Maybe the visitor comes to help her find her family. Or maybe have one visitor that comes first and takes her family and a second that comes to help her find the family.

Perhaps the 2nd visitor could be an old lady (grand parent) that has already learned the lesson and knows how to solve the problem.

This Feedback was...