theres just something about the story..the dialogue, the names of characters and places...something feels very contrived to me. it doesn't grab me at all. sorry if i seem over critical, its just that there is so much sci. fi. and fantasy out there that all reads the same...and this doesn't bring anything revolutionary to table that interests me. sorry, not trying to be harsh.

Based on your description I can't see Striden coming up with the girl scout cookie plan....he doesn't seem that bright....but I'll see what he's up to in later adventures....he's likeable enough so far.

Legend Four:

"Thank you kind sir for the warning, but I fear nothing living or dead, well except some woman and I recall being afraid of a couple children, but other than that I am pretty fearless." 

Me:  At some point in one of the legends you should show what he means by being afraid of some women and children.  Make it very comedic.

Love the PR piece with Prince Charming -- and the Woodland Fairies who wanted their 15 minutes of Fame, and their chiming "PC is the greatest!"  I can just hear the voices from the big screen! 

I am not as keen on the ending however.  What if Prince Charming and the Fairies were not trying to steal the Gauntlet from Striden?  What if they were cooperating with Striden?  That would tie in nicely with Legend 5.  What if Xan was so impressed by their cooperative effort that he "saw the light" and offered to let them have the Gauntlet for the good it would do them and because he didn't really want it in his cave any more.  He had just realized that he had too much stuff, and it was really affecting the Feng Shui of the place, and he was thinking about putting it on the market, and he wanted it to be properly staged to sell and . . . anyway, he didn't really want the gauntlet any more.

And what if Xan did go on the next adventure with Striden?  In other words, keep writing these.  They are wonderful. 

If you write more, I would still keep Legend 5 at the very end.

Legend 4 -- didn't like the Font, so I skipped over it and went on to Legend 5.   

 “Nice Resume... So what can I do for the illegitimate son of a promiscuous god?” Striden asked as he pulled out a mirror and adjusted his hair just so. -- EXACTLY!  Excellent!  Expand the vocabulary of the pre-teens by including zingers that are worth looking up in the dictionary!  ;-D

Then you come up with:

“I shall deal with your blasphemous tongue tomorrow Striden!”... With that Hercules burst out the door knocking one of the many patrons to the ground killing him instantly... which lead to a law suit... that lasted many months but due to the fact that a set of shrivled leather gloves did not fit Hercules hands... The hero and son of Zeus was found not guilty. But that is an entirely different story."  -- Again, this is exactly the type of expansion that I was thinking about with the "non-alcoholic" line.  Great!

And I loved:

“What the Hades are you two doing? I mean while you two ego maniacs tried to prove who was better, the world has been going to pot! Monsters are destroying homes... children are afraid to walk the streets... not to mention the fact that you both wreak and even Mount Olympus has not been saved from the stench of your sweat.”. Zeus stood there his eyes blazing like fire.

“But dad... people are saying he is tougher then me... and I had to prove I was the strongest!”

“Stop whining Hercules... Striden is your half brother!”

AWESOME.  A reminder that cooperation at the level of spirit, rather than competition at the level of ego makes more sense if we want to save the world for future generations!

   “This is non-alcoholic? Whoa. Who would have thunk it?” -- I think you should expand lines like this a bit, to expand the comedic tone of the piece -- preferably with nuances and plays on words that go over the youngest heads, to be grabbed by older readers.  (Like in Shrek).

Legend three over all could use a bit of strengthening at the end.  Instead of having the Sea Monster immediately agree to leave -- what about a mini trial of sorts, or a debate.  If Wallace wins -- Nepune leaves the area.  If Wallace loses, Wallace and Striden shall be put to death.

"Resolved, the Sea Monster must leave the area."  Then ?Wallace makes his initial arguments, followed by a bit of back and forth between Wallace and Neptune with Wallace winning the debate by convincing Neptune that Neptune's time could be spent better elsewhere.

Or something like that. 

If Nepune was so reasonable, and level headed, someone surely would have talked him into leaving earlier.   Or he would have thought of it on his own.

The first Legend ends with Rachel riding off with Striden.  But . . . in the second Legend, Rachel is nowhere in site, and Striden is offered the King's daughter's hand in marriage. 

Maybe he needs to ride off and leave Rachel behind at the end of Legend 1?  He could offer to take her, and she could refuse, saying that she used him to break the spell . . . so that she could run off with some guy that insisted she change for him if they wanted to be together . . . ;-D

Kenneth -- Well done!  I saw a few minor typos but was too engrossed in the story to worry about them.  In other words, it does need some "tidying up" as mentioned by LordGatt.  I am looking forward to reading the other adventures. 

I can see this as a Monty Python skit -- as suggested by Winter Jazz.  I can hear Eric Idle as Striden.  And I'd love to be cast as the witch.  My great great great . . . great grandmother, Susannah North Martin, was one of 19 "witches" hung in Salem in 1692.  So, I have the right pedigree.  ;-D

Anyway, I hear the funny voices and meaningul nuances in my head as I'm reading along and I love it!  Good Luck!

this is a great collection of short stories, some horror, some fantasy, etc. An enjoyable book for any child, and for some adults who just like stories that are fun to read. Well rounded characters.

It could do with some tidying up, but the characters look well-rounded. Keep the adjectives to a minimum. Also, this Stryden Nofear sounds like a colossal prat to me. I don't know if you're setting him up for the beating of his life (which'd be sweet), but he's the kind of strong-jawed, Gucci-loafered G-Q, Ski-Q I'd like to see flying past my window on a collission course with a Cessna.

From what I've read so far, I think this is great for kids around grades 4-7.  I'll have to read them all to be sure.  I'm also not sure you have enough stories here to make a complete book, but I'll keep reading and give it my final vote when I'm done.

I love the fun voice, and I think pre-teen kids would enjoy this a lot.

What age group is this being writen for. From my take on how it reads it has a feel for a younger audience say pre-teen to about sixteen seventeen. The pace of the story is nice not to fast and not to slow. Your protagonist  Nofear sounds he's a character that is going to teach the audience something about the character and teach themselves something about lif and of the self. I think the lesson that this character should teach if  you are writing for the young audience that I mentioned earlier is about how not to get caught up in vanity and looks, and that sometimes you have to be afraid. A fool is the one who is never afraid there is always danger that's beyond the door. We controle the fear we don't let fear controle us. This is a very good write,keep writing I think your book should and shall do well.

Your stories remind me of Monty Python!  Fabulous!

You know I love this story socute and it reminds me of Disney.
Best of luck,
Kathy

Sorry about the double comment. I had a connection problem.

Highly witty and great fun to read . Good luck Ken! I'm holding thumbs for you!

Highly witty and great fun to read. Love it! Good luck Ken! Holding thumbs for you!

These are daft and good fun. Its got a feel of Princess Bride about it (the film not the book).

I think this is a good story for tweens or maybe pre-tweens.