These are bits and pieces that flew into my mind while I was lonely.
I’ve always known that loneliness is my best friend. I’ve always been a solitaire. And I’ve always dreamed about living alone in a foreign country. No matter where. Never have I felt in need of someone, until he came. Just popped into my lonely and solitary life here and started giving new colors. The laughs. The smiles. The talks. The discussions. The learning. The sharing. The touches. The kisses. The caresses. The jealousies. The whispers between the sheets and sweats. The shoulder and pillow
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I’ve always known that loneliness is my best friend. I’ve always been a solitaire. And I’ve always dreamed about living alone in a foreign country. No matter where. Never have I felt in need of someone, until he came. Just popped into my lonely and solitary life here and started giving new colors. The laughs. The smiles. The talks. The discussions. The learning. The sharing. The touches. The kisses. The caresses. The jealousies. The whispers between the sheets and sweats. The shoulder and pillow talks. Everything. I love everything that he gave me. I love everything that we do together. I cherish every moments I have with him. And somehow, I wish I could stop the hands of time and just stay in his arms forever.
For many nights and days I’m thinking and asking myself over and over again. “Is it lust… or is it another form of love…” I never knew. And I never tried to find out. Why? Maybe I’m just too afraid. Afraid of knowing the truth. Afraid of listening to what my soul and heartbeats tell me. Afraid of having the feelings for him. Scared to admit that what we have is absolutely beautiful and somehow pure. Too scared to tell him that I fell so deep for him and somehow, I can feel the spark of love illuminates the darkest corner of my soul. However, I love everything about him. All about him, with no exceptions at all. He has a beautiful soul and personality which I adore so much. And he’s not a rebound. There’s no doubt about it. With him, I can forget about who I am and at the same time, remember who I am. There’re no boundaries between us. Not the language. Not the status. Not the race. Not the culture. Nothing. Everything seems so full of freedom. So carefree and loose, as if I can be anything I want.
Less
8/26/2008 11:59 PM PT
