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swakgel
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Poetry
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The Best of My Poems

These three poems up for voting depicts life, moments of desperation and the feelings of being restored...

These have been composed during moments in my life where i am in the pit of darkness and how i have been restored to a life full of abundance. All three poems are picked not based on the words or the composition but those that i feel most deeply of. I hope it can be an inspiration to many.

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MorbidFSCNATN

8/31/2009 12:49 PM PDT

Ppl need to comment mor! don't worry swakgel, I'll tell u just wat i think.
These poems are unlike some of wat I've read b4. most like this end sadly, but you've picked it up at the end, made everything better again! Woooo! LOL
nah, I love 'The dark cloud melts away' it's so dark to begin with and the line 'I smelled suicide breathing on my face' is so unique, I wish I'd wrote it! Honestly.
Your other 2 poems are also spectacular, beautiful.
I hope these make it to the vote.
Morbid
(forever fascinated)

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pattimari

8/31/2009 8:33 AM PDT

I vote

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Jenny_Moxham

8/30/2009 7:19 AM PDT

Enjoyed the work. Publish!

http://www.webook.com/project/Animal-Cruelty

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McCuen

8/30/2009 6:10 AM PDT

LOVELY- HAS MY VOTE!

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AubrieAnne

8/29/2009 10:25 PM PDT

These were really great to read. nice choices :)

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AaronYtterberg

8/29/2009 6:27 PM PDT

i must admit i have never been great at being a critique but overall i believe that it was well put together and written from a strong personal root in emotion. all in all great job.

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AaronYtterberg

8/29/2009 6:24 PM PDT

once again well put together but once again i am not sure where you are going with this. i have but one recommendation work to have a meaning in your pieces and make sure it you think that it is at least somewhat clear enough for a reader. from what i have gathered out of personal experience is that to have a interested reader who will come back you have to make sure that they can understand at least part of the meaning in what you have written.

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AaronYtterberg

8/29/2009 6:19 PM PDT

well put together. it had a certain rhythm to it that was enjoyable and i could tell you were speaking from a strong belief of some sort. whether it was god or a person of great importance for you i could not be sure but all in all a rather well put together piece of work.

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AaronYtterberg

8/29/2009 6:15 PM PDT

I'm going to be honest. i am not sure where you were headed with this poem. i found the wording to be good and the poem had emotion, but i couldn't find a meaning in it. i wasn't sure what it was about.

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moxhp

8/29/2009 10:33 AM PDT

Great Poems. Well Done.

And if you have time...

http://www.webook.com/project/Top-3-Poems-of-Assorted-Interest

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moonlite9856

8/26/2009 4:52 PM PDT

great work! i really liked the dark cloud melts away! you have my vote.

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maximun18

8/25/2009 12:37 PM PDT

excelent work this was a very good poem and u have my vote

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brittany01

8/24/2009 3:00 PM PDT

this is really good i vote yes good job and good luck!!!

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erike

8/24/2009 6:25 AM PDT

this deserves to be read by many

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Slyphy

8/23/2009 9:10 PM PDT

Great poetry, I felt feelings surge through me as I read. =]

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AnteBellum

8/23/2009 12:41 PM PDT

Excellent work, I enjoyed the themes. I vote yes.

http://www.webook.com/project/Dirge-of-Mortality

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BrokenPoet

8/23/2009 10:46 AM PDT

Thank you for the invite. My vote has been cast!

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Hodontight

8/21/2009 11:57 AM PDT

Excellence!

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RenesmeBBF

8/21/2009 9:41 AM PDT

:) youve got talent
and my vote goes down for publish

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Elixir

8/20/2009 11:13 PM PDT

I voted, yeah!! Good luck dude!! :)

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Madelaine

8/20/2009 7:47 PM PDT

Got my Vote!

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TraciB

8/20/2009 6:24 PM PDT

Three excellent poems, both for the imagery and the message they convey. You have my vote.

Traci
http://www.webook.com/project/Communion

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Shep

8/20/2009 4:03 PM PDT

Hey got my vote I love the emotions and the imagery.

http://www.webook.com/project/poetry-for-voting

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hiddenfire

8/20/2009 12:23 PM PDT

I loved the dark cloud melts away, its an amazing piece.
Yours is one of the few I've read where they aren't just three of the best pieces, they actually transition and add into the next one in line. I vote publish, and I hope the rest of webook does too.

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keaira

8/20/2009 11:23 AM PDT

got my vote!

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bananabadbabe

8/20/2009 10:47 AM PDT

There is a "But"?

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MatthewDavid

8/20/2009 9:59 AM PDT

You have a very ironic approach to your poetry and a great way with words. good luck!

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DanL

8/20/2009 7:33 AM PDT

Lose your mind then come to your senses--very good.

In order to pour the stones out of your bowl of light you simply have to turn it over. (old Hawaiian legend)

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Aniytlia

8/20/2009 6:34 AM PDT

these are really nice and I agree with ellenc, you write with hope, it lifts up my day a bit. :D
Would you read mine?

http://www.webook.com/project/Webooks-Poetry-Vote-Kail

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ellenc

8/20/2009 6:26 AM PDT

You write with hope, which is nice. Thanks for the invitation.

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shahw

8/20/2009 4:56 AM PDT

Good work.. i voted. Pls return the favour? Good Luck! Shah X

http://www.webook.com/project/My-Best-Three-Poems-WEBook-2009

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SethGreenwood

8/20/2009 3:57 AM PDT

To relieve some confusion, I voted for you all of the way.

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SethGreenwood

8/20/2009 3:56 AM PDT

Awesome. typos in the bubble of joy though. Still I think with a bit of editing, it deserves publishing. Such beautiful emotions.

Typos:

Will the joy it once carried comes back. It should be come, not comes.

. . .and. . .

Wil the innocence of life crawls back should be will the innocence of life crawl back.

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nrhatch

8/19/2009 9:17 AM PDT

Important messages in all three poems. It's true, we do tend to reap what we sow . . . ripples on the water and all that.

Write on!

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KINGLOVERR

8/18/2009 12:45 AM PDT

I voted for you

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jaye

8/17/2009 6:59 PM PDT

very positive poem

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jaye

8/17/2009 6:58 PM PDT

This is a very good poem, very powerful

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jaye

8/17/2009 6:56 PM PDT

The first two stanzas are a bit too prosy...then you get into the poem. In a poem less is more, so the one word, the absence of conjugations and connections forcing the reader to make the leaps as you have done in the subsequent stanzas is what it takes. I think a slight reworking of the first two stanzas would make the work perfect.

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JamesWGuijarro

8/17/2009 5:59 PM PDT

amazing writing flows and the metaphoric bubble to one's life really spoke to me! Definitely gets a vote "Publish" from me! Good luck!

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Ghast

8/16/2009 11:14 PM PDT

Brilliant! Voting 'Publish' sums up my thoughts for these poems more than this text could. Great work.

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naiveandwitty

8/16/2009 6:16 PM PDT

these are fantastic entries.

i vote publish.

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DelilahTomson

8/15/2009 1:08 AM PDT

You got my vote! Best of luck to all.

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swakgel

8/15/2009 12:25 AM PDT

Thank you all for the lovely comments. Very much appreciated.

tuesday_rayne

8/13/2009 3:11 AM PDT

interesting poems...
a YES!!!! vote

http://www.webook.com/project/Voodoo-Hearts-My-3-Poems-for-entry-Webook-2009poetryVOTE

thank you!

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tattyhead

8/9/2009 11:02 AM PDT

Good Luck.

http://www.webook.com/project/Three-for-the-competition

If you have time.

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Annabob

8/7/2009 5:05 PM PDT

I'm sorry, but the ellipses are too much for me. They are completely unnecessary and distracting. I'm not even sure what exactly it is that you're trying to say in "Bubble of Joy." All the different colors are equally distracting. The subject of "Bubble" is far too broad and generalized. There is nothing to keep me reading.

The last line of "Bubble" that's in quotes has misspellings and subject/verb disagreements.

I can see that all of your poems are poems of faith and love, which is a lovely sentiment, but they lack subtlety and detail.

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