The Frog That Couldn't Hop

Cute cartoon story about a frog

Once upon a time, there lived a frog.

And he couldn't hop.

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Wildcat

2/26/2010 11:42 AM PST

I think you need to make sure like what Melissa said that you know who youur writing for. Older children might find this funny so might some adults. But it looks like from the pictures and from the title a very young childrens story however a frog being run over isnt a very child friendly story. Other then this you have a very good story you have twisted what looks like a young childs story and may even be thought as "clever" but i would work on the points that both i and melissa have given you

Melissa

8/1/2008 5:29 AM PDT

I really like your work -- it's funny and twisted -- but I think you need to decide whether you're writing for kids, or for adults. I like the idea of a series of twisted "children's" books for adults, but they'd probably need a bit more substance.

Sarah

7/25/2008 1:03 PM PDT

funny, but too sophisticated for kids.

K_B_Watts

7/23/2008 9:55 PM PDT

A very sad ending for a children's book. Trying changing it a little --most kids would be upset that the rog did. But as a cartoon strip this would be funny for adults!

Aloria

7/20/2008 2:24 PM PDT

Cute, but I'm not sure children would like the ending that much.
Perhaps if it were edited to have an ending where Blog overcame his disability in a more productive manner, rather than just getting a boring job and dying accidentally.

(...reminds me too much of my own life.)