Book Info
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Project Leader:
weepingwillow
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only -
Category:
Poetry -
Genre:
General -
Language:
English
book_central
The Romantic, the Sucidial, and the Tortured Soul
A sense of heaviness permeates this collection, provoking your deepest thoughts and desires and haunting the very core of your soul.
GIVE FEEDBACK
Jack in the box...that was a good one...I actually said AWW at the end- that's not me! Definitely publish! Sorry I'm late...I'm late lol because I was SURPRISED so many came by my own 3 poems, for I never went off asking people to check it out. I thought it'd die off sometime and left it alone lol. Thanks to you for doing so!
This Feedback was...
Content:
You have a fantasitc way with words... I truly enjoyed Jack...
You have a fantasitc way with words... I truly enjoyed Jack...
This Feedback was...
Excellent poems. Loved them all.
Thank you for your feedback for my submission. I appreciate your thinking.
Good luck.
x
Thank you for your feedback for my submission. I appreciate your thinking.
Good luck.
x
This Feedback was...
"Jack" is quite brilliant, but I kept thinking--What if there was more emphasis on sound, with the lines less explanatory, but everything more staccato? Your shorter works were beautiful beginnings.
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The first two were very strong, powerful images, complete as pictures but as a story addict, I would like to see and know more. I think after a few reads, I can cope with the first one as a complete poem, but the second one, I think demands a bit more information. Why is he on that ledge? What does he think as he contemplates the bottom? It's good to leave it hanging (no pun intended!), but I'd like a little more. It is still good though.
The third one is a very compelling story. I can feel the breathless confusion and frustration of Jack, whoever he is. It could just be me, but this doesn't really come across as a poem. A monologue, certainly. Having read a few projects I've finally gotten my head around the fact that a poem doesn't have to rhyme, but even so, this still doesn't feel 'poetic'. By all means, please correct me and tell me how it is.
Apologies if this has come across as negative. It's just my honest thoughts and responses. I did like what read and you have my vote.
The third one is a very compelling story. I can feel the breathless confusion and frustration of Jack, whoever he is. It could just be me, but this doesn't really come across as a poem. A monologue, certainly. Having read a few projects I've finally gotten my head around the fact that a poem doesn't have to rhyme, but even so, this still doesn't feel 'poetic'. By all means, please correct me and tell me how it is.
Apologies if this has come across as negative. It's just my honest thoughts and responses. I did like what read and you have my vote.
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Fascinating poems. The shorter poems were like little moments of realizations. I liked your longer poem as well it was very expressive of torture and the human being caught in a torturous game. welldone
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"Morning" and "Gravity" are magnificent in their shortness, the concise images and the concentrated essence of meaning. "Morning" brings the sun in all its glory to my mind, shining through the willows, and it's all very clear in the tight imagery. For instance, the lovers together, implied simply by the last verse, while the brilliancy of the sun shines through your words. The words in "Gravity" fall together as naturally as the drop, and there is a connection between the state of mind of the speaker and that drop. "Jack" is totally different, darker, mysterious. It all ends where it began, like the self clawing its way out of the darkness within, but ending up where it began. Great works.....
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i thought the first two were too short. but i enjoyed the third one.
i vote publish.
i vote publish.
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Jack is a very vivd piece that is definitely worthy of consideration.
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I am fond of poetry that doesn't muck around and I loved the way Gravity was presented with a clean image and a powerful punch
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Good job. I would say Jack would be your best bet out fo these three.. the others are short, not too short persay, but in this case I think the vote might be a bit more for solid finish. Like Gravity ended. but in this case it's not something everyone can relate to. so it myght not appeal to that large of an audience.
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Very good pieces....I enjoyed them all...Good Luck!
Please....http://www.webook.com/project/Three-of-my-best-Poems
Please....http://www.webook.com/project/Three-of-my-best-Poems
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Amazing stuff. The Jack poem was so vivid and unusual. Quite stunning.
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General:
vote submitted...
Content:
short, clever, creative...
Imagery:
vivid...
vote submitted...
Content:
short, clever, creative...
Imagery:
vivid...
This Feedback was...
Pure genius!!!
Very intelligent writing, top marks all round. I will definitely be reading more of your works in the future.
The very best of luck with the vote!!!
http://www.webook.com/project/My-3-Emotive-Entries
Very intelligent writing, top marks all round. I will definitely be reading more of your works in the future.
The very best of luck with the vote!!!
http://www.webook.com/project/My-3-Emotive-Entries
This Feedback was...
A good collection.
Morning - I loved the imagry and the shortness of the poem.
Gravity - a clever idea but in my opinion the least effective of the three, partly down to the last line, which made me snigger the first time I read it (Juvenile I know)
Jack - I like, it's another clever idea with briliant imagry but, personally I didn't like the layout, the first time I read it I felt like I was reading paragraphs not lines of poetry. A second reading showed me I was mistaken but it still niggled, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for the link, I did enjoy reading them and am voting publish, well done.
Morning - I loved the imagry and the shortness of the poem.
Gravity - a clever idea but in my opinion the least effective of the three, partly down to the last line, which made me snigger the first time I read it (Juvenile I know)
Jack - I like, it's another clever idea with briliant imagry but, personally I didn't like the layout, the first time I read it I felt like I was reading paragraphs not lines of poetry. A second reading showed me I was mistaken but it still niggled, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for the link, I did enjoy reading them and am voting publish, well done.
This Feedback was...
short and to the point and a jack in the box is something I've thought of too. my vote is in
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Jack (in the box) i thought was cleverly crafted.
http://www.webook.com/project/Three-for-the-competition
If you have the time.
http://www.webook.com/project/Three-for-the-competition
If you have the time.
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these are really creative and i liked them, a lot. I loved the wit in 'Jack' and thought that was brilliant. and this project is a definite YES!!!
if you want to find mine:
http://www.webook.com/project/Voodoo-Hearts-My-3-Poems-for-entry-Webook-2009poetryVOTE
thank you!
if you want to find mine:
http://www.webook.com/project/Voodoo-Hearts-My-3-Poems-for-entry-Webook-2009poetryVOTE
thank you!
This Feedback was...
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