sounds good

A comment on the title: Its more like the smell of lava-blood...... alive and seething!

It has my attention, but the description seems to repeat itself.

Write it a bit more simply, I would suggest.

Although, if you find yourself unable to edit it, message me. I'm having the same problem.

This sounds pretty good. I'll have to see how good it really is. Great overview.

You know what I like about this? It's not 'Hollywood', and that is a compliment by the way. I like the sound of the SCIFI desparation, but a little hint instead of using the words 'zombies' repeatadly, use the undead, or somthing like that.

M

this is very interesting and maybe perhaps the best webook story i have ever heard. keep it up penguin. 5/5 5/5 5/5

Viruses? Zombies? Five races of bloodthirsty aliens? Humanity must be very resilient.

Dunno what plot you are writing?

Plot:
the humans destroyed themselves, building on and on to their already overflowing cities,until they finally went to far, and fighting amonst themselves, ruined their last and only hope for survival

Sounds interesting I'm looking forward to the first chapter and I hope I like it.

One of the things I enjoy about finding this site is that I can become familiar with the writing of the 'young'.  I am aware of the 'nihilism' in the writings, but then I'm a follower of Friedrich Nietzsche,  and even Martin Heidegger said that 'Only a god could save us now'.   So I do understand the thrust in this post-modern philosophy/psychology, and admire its imaginative source.   Thought evi7penguin was a woman.    I seem to have the propensity of hooking up with very bright, goal oriented people.   Thanks for reading (now-2&3).   In light of the sci-fi, etc. the madness I am writing about will probably be held by the young as too 'tame' and 'dull' in any comparison.  (grin grin)  Thanks for your interest;  I will become more familiar with your site.

Wow!!!!!!!!!! Sounds Awesome!! Can't wait till I read it!

what a plot and i can't wait to read it

wow this sounds awesome!

that is one plot

Plot:
Theres two plots here, one can't happen while the other is in effect.
1) Save the last remaining colony.
2) Crash and his crew get sucked into the vortex. Have to figure out how to get out safely. etc...
Which one....
-Aulie

oooOOOoooh. VERY COOL. I cant wait to start reading this - I'm completely captivated already.

Sounds absolutely awesome. From your description it sounds like an original zombie/alien story. Hard to believe, I know.

This sounds right up my alley man. You can expect me to have feedback on every single chapter you have up here within the next month or so. I'm hard at work on my novel, Antakaa: The Beginning, right now, but I'll definitely find time to read your work.

Sounds pretty good...haha, my story, What Darkness Brings, is kinda like this...well, about the dwindling population and the creatures and soldiers and whatnot, haha. lol but seems intriguing!

wow that was long!!

andand COMPLETELY INTERESTING!!

i loved the line
stories are half fictions and half facts its up to u which one u beleive? or sumfing like tht!! I LOVED THAT LINE

X

sound ok...but reminds me of I am Legend.....I'll look into it tho...:)

A brilliant synopsis. I will read more, but for now I am otherwise engaged. I will be coming back to read it!

A good gripping synopsis, I'll take a look at the book when I have the chance but I may not be able to get to all of it.

I like it a lot more. I can now see some character development and it's not nearly as messy. It still feels like a bit of a jumble, but somewhat clearer.

Well this is a great blurb!! thoroughly interesting, sounds like a little bit of a handful to keep up with (for you) and challenging, I wouldn't mind see where this leads :)

Sounds.... complicated.
Complicated but completely awesome!!!!!!

General:
There are many different things going on in just this opening. It feels kind of hectic and (don't take this horribly bad) messy. I don't like being a critic, but I think it might need a little riviesing to start clearing things up.

Plot:
I like the idea of an alien invation with a zombiefying virus clearing the path. The problem with the opening is that I feel like we won't see much of anything except the one event specified (going into the other colonie and into a trap). Maybe try and say that when they find out the colonies have been killed off and one was captured, but lead into another aspect of the story. Give us a vage view of what's going to happen throughout the beginning of the book, but not just one part of it.

Character Development:
I don't feel like you have one main character in the opening, just the colony that's left. Will there be different angles from different suvivers or just one point of view? Is there one solid main character or many? Will there be a romance involved? Who is important (this time don't be quite as vage)?

Structure:
I feel like this is kind of coming together piece by piece in this opening. I don't feel the deep down structure of the story. I want to know clearly what's happening, and I can see some of that getting across, but not all of it is clearly stated.

Tone/Voice:
The story (meaning the opening above) feels mummbled, sort of "quiet". Tell me what has happened, what's happening now, and give us hints on what will come next in a clear voice. Keep ideas seperate.


(Just F.Y.I., this is my first time really doing this to this extent and I don't like being critque-like. If you don't like my advice I understand)

Since people are not getting this... I do not follow any of the aliens!!!!   this is what the story is about below... this happens early in story... the other parts above in the full synopsis is all the back story... hence me saying that is only the beginning...



After no contact with other colonies of humans still alive, a distress beacon has been picked up. Now a group of special operatives go on a mission to find out what is wrong, but they soon find out it was all a trap and that their colony is the last remaining settlement of humanity. The group suddenly gets caught up in a fight for survival. Armadas of all alien races are coming down upon their location. They are in a struggle with zombies and aliens trying to kill them. Do they try and find a way back home hoping the aliens don't follow them back to base, or do they stand and fight? If they did stay and fight, the question remains... How do you stop five different races of aliens all at once, kill off all the infected zombies roaming the world, and reconvert the world's atmosphere back to normal?

it seems like there is a lot of things happening, different plots from all different angles. It may be hard to follow, it depends upon how you deliver the plots to us.

Mark

Sounds interesting. That would be a lot on your plate.

Good Day,

There seems to be a lot going on here and that's overwhelming, but I feel it necessary because it seems you've wanted to make it seem impossible for humans to come out victorious. Just from your premise it appears that's your main hooker: can humans, despite the impossible circumstances, come out of this thing alive?

I do think your little synopsis is saying too much and all the questions get daunting... you don't want to overwhelm the reader too much with the depth of story before they start reading... that's how I feel anyway could just be me. (I thought the idea of zombies and 5 races of aliens and a virus killing off most human life was enough depth to hook my interest.)

It is the future... but much different then ever predicted.
- can't say this line sold me... how was it ever predicted? I mean a virus that either kills humans or turns them into zombies has been predicted before... aliens have been predicted before... maybe you'd consider rephrasing that or expanding on it??? When I read that sentence I was expecting something no one has ever thought of like the world drowning in spaghetti sauce or something...

Why five races of aliens? I think in order to make this little plot line work all these aliens need to have a reason why they picked earth to invade... otherwise I'd still be wondering why not just one aggressive alien race? It'd be even more interesting if their reasons were different if the humans could use the aliens to fight each other if they are after the same thing... Are the aliens working together? If yes why? If no...

One last thing before I digress... Perhaps figuring out a way to compress your little synopsis into a five or six sentence paragraph to bring the thoughts together rather than so choppy...

I do think that this could be an interesting piece and I wish you all the best on it!

Until next time,

~t.

Ooooo, very interesting so far. Nice work.

this sounds pretty awesome
it kinda reminds me of Deadspace

Sounds so good! I love how there are so many different kinds of aliens and then some zombies! Awesome! Can't wait to read more and find out about the smell of blood.

oh your serious im gonna have to read this lol .

not one but fIve lol , and you threw in the zombies too lol , you truely do have the right approach to novel writing . hehe!

but honistly ........ you know nothing of the smell of blood .

apart from that . this sounds so much FUN .

Aha! Interesting based on this...

wow that was so intresting it really gets the readers attention, im deffenitly goion' to read

Oh wow, this looks really good, I'm so going to read this!
Looks really great.

Great fiction! Some of it, anyway. Some of it might not be fiction.

Sounds interesting, I'll start reading right away

Found this extremely hard to stop reading.  Really enjoyed it and hope to see more soon.

Kudos!

Cool story. I will read this now and read it when you add to it. I really like the name and how you have explained it.

Top marks from me! hehehe.

Sounds like a good storyline and will be back to read the first chapter when you write it