There are some really crappy blogs out there. Blogs with all the artistic integrity of a tin bucket

It’s really weird. It seems like once you get on the Internet there’s this overpowering compulsion to blog. It’s like when you find yourself in a public lavatory armed with a pen. There’s this strong temptation to write something on the wall. And the funny thing is most of the people who do that have penises over three feet long. And they just have to boast about it. But why in a public lavatory? Surely to God that sort of information deserves to be mentioned in The Lancet or the News of the World. I used to write on the walls. But at least I made some attempt to be more creative. And I made it a point never to mention the size of my willy. Make of that what you will. In fact most of my best work is in a lavatory in an army camp in Sennelager. But that’s another story.

I digress. The thing is, everyone blogs – including the freaks. This book will be entitled, “The Wallygrange High School Blogs,” and features the fictitious Wallygrange High School that was labelled by OFSTED as the UK’s worst school. And, just in case there are any doubts about this claim, part of the Inspector’s infamous report is included in the book. Along with the school’s own blog there are blogs created by former pupils like Gordon Rumsey, the cannibal chef who shares with us some of his mouth-watering recipes. For example, we find out what happened to that paperboy he ran down in his Humvee. And who’d have thought crisps made from the hard skin on a cadaver’s heels could be so tasty? Then there’s the historian David Hirving who claims to have discovered Hitler’s photo album. See Hitler as you’ve never seen him before, (one photo shows him capturing some Tommies at Dunkirk and in another he’s giving some guy an enema in a sauna in Vienna.) There’s Guy Forkes, the middle-class, part-time Gay anarchist and his partner who live in a bungalow in North Wales. And it’s not everyone who can claim to who have a foul-mouthed former United States Marine Corps gunnery sergeant living in a DIY iron lung in your loft. Less

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There are some really crappy blogs out there. Blogs with all the artistic integrity of a tin bucket

There are some really crappy blogs out there. Blogs with all the artistic integrity of a tin bucket

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