Book Info
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Project Leader:
DCSalus
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Sci Fi/Fantasy
Action/Adventure -
Language:
English
book_central
Vanguard
Within the Nexus System, dozens of light-years beyond the confines of humanity’s cradle-world, there resides the central point of an interstellar network of Rifts.
One such Rift, located deep within the Sol System, brought the human race to the prized Nexus System and eight more carried them beyond, into distant space and the promise of new beginnings. Humanity spread out into the cosmos like a ripple atop a pond, colonizing habitable worlds and mining those that weren’t.
Seventy-two yea ... more »
One such Rift, located deep within the Sol System, brought the human race to the prized Nexus System and eight more carried them beyond, into distant space and the promise of new beginnings. Humanity spread out into the cosmos like a ripple atop a pond, colonizing habitable worlds and mining those that weren’t.
Seventy-two yea ... more »
GIVE FEEDBACK
I feel like I am heading into unknown territory reading sci fi but I will give it a go!
The only critique with the synopsis is that it does not give me a hint of any particular driving characters - which I always like and it would motivate me more to keep reading :) I do also believe thought that you cannot write a proper synopsis until a book is fully finished as sometimes things just change dramatically and all of a sudden your story is about something different.
I like the idea of your plot, it is very broad and gives a hint that is going to be an epic novel.
The only critique with the synopsis is that it does not give me a hint of any particular driving characters - which I always like and it would motivate me more to keep reading :) I do also believe thought that you cannot write a proper synopsis until a book is fully finished as sometimes things just change dramatically and all of a sudden your story is about something different.
I like the idea of your plot, it is very broad and gives a hint that is going to be an epic novel.
This Feedback was...
I've decided to rewrite this into a completely different story, one that takes place about a hundred and fifty years before what I had originally planned. I think it will work out much better this way.
General:
Sounds like a good book, I like your ideas.
Plot:
Love the plot lines, where there is two options that humanity can reap. Look forward to reading some chapters when they are done.
Sounds like a good book, I like your ideas.
Plot:
Love the plot lines, where there is two options that humanity can reap. Look forward to reading some chapters when they are done.
This Feedback was...
Your book is well written and you've clearly put a lot of thought into it, it's not the type of genre I normally read but I can't wait until it's finished.
This Feedback was...
Well this is a WOW summary. How long did you work on this?! Kudos! Will keep reading.
The following is my word-for-word feedback. It contains only negative feedback, as all of my WFW does, so don't be discouraged.
Your headline is quite general. Basically it says, "This is a story about a covert agent." The rest is just syntactical stuffing.
"man but conflict is inevitable. " comma after man
Hmm, try a different word for alien. Look up "sub genres of science fiction". This is more of a military science fiction than a first-contact scifi. A better word would be 'extraterrestrial' or something like that. It just flows with the genre.
Take the comma out after Rygarians, and semicolon (;) after attacked.
I'm going to refer you to my own project. Click on the corresponding chapter titles. It is my general feedback station. It may help you from some of the areas of improvement I noticed.
http://www.webook.com/project/Feedback-Station
Click on Grammatical Flaws. These are your areas that I believe you need improvement in from what I see in this chapter.
The following is my word-for-word feedback. It contains only negative feedback, as all of my WFW does, so don't be discouraged.
Your headline is quite general. Basically it says, "This is a story about a covert agent." The rest is just syntactical stuffing.
"man but conflict is inevitable. " comma after man
Hmm, try a different word for alien. Look up "sub genres of science fiction". This is more of a military science fiction than a first-contact scifi. A better word would be 'extraterrestrial' or something like that. It just flows with the genre.
Take the comma out after Rygarians, and semicolon (;) after attacked.
I'm going to refer you to my own project. Click on the corresponding chapter titles. It is my general feedback station. It may help you from some of the areas of improvement I noticed.
http://www.webook.com/project/Feedback-Station
Click on Grammatical Flaws. These are your areas that I believe you need improvement in from what I see in this chapter.
This Feedback was...
Wow - just from the summary, I think this has the potential to be really epic. It's very interesting so far - can't wait to start reading.
This Feedback was...
I will take a look, I always like to read new sci-fi.
BTW, you should always capitalize the name of a species.
BTW, you should always capitalize the name of a species.
This Feedback was...
lol i just noticed that his name is alex mercer. have you played Prototype?
This Feedback was...
Tone/Voice:
This was a very enjoyable read, I'm looking forward to what's coming!
Other than an occasional grammar or spelling gremlin there was only one thing I found to be a disconnect, like a narrative hiccup. This feeling was when changing between the focus on one character's perspective and the omniscient, vice versa, or a setting sentence. If that sentence was especially more or significantly less...wordy isn't really the right word, but I can't find a better one...than the text around it seems almost like the voice was trying to cover a hiccup before continuing smoothly.
This was a very enjoyable read, I'm looking forward to what's coming!
Other than an occasional grammar or spelling gremlin there was only one thing I found to be a disconnect, like a narrative hiccup. This feeling was when changing between the focus on one character's perspective and the omniscient, vice versa, or a setting sentence. If that sentence was especially more or significantly less...wordy isn't really the right word, but I can't find a better one...than the text around it seems almost like the voice was trying to cover a hiccup before continuing smoothly.
This Feedback was...
NICE
GREAT!
LOVE THE WAY YOU DID THE SYNOPIS I WISH THIS BOOK WAS FINISHED!!!!!! :)
EXCELLENT!!!!!!!
GOOD SOUNDED VERY INTELLGENT It was goog man you need to teach mme
GREAT!
LOVE THE WAY YOU DID THE SYNOPIS I WISH THIS BOOK WAS FINISHED!!!!!! :)
EXCELLENT!!!!!!!
GOOD SOUNDED VERY INTELLGENT It was goog man you need to teach mme
This Feedback was...
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