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Project Leader:
FaithAnneLove
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
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Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Literary -
Language:
English
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Waiting for the Mailman (Original Version)
Living, loving, healing, hoping, but most of all REALIZATION.
GIVE FEEDBACK
6/15/2010 8:37 PM PDT
will be revising, adding, etc under my new profile. needed lloonngg break
4/23/2010 10:08 AM PDT
I have read it all now, and I love it. I cried during the last chapter and I'm really sad Ms Hollinger died without actually being told that Michael was her son, but the fact that everyone else was put at peace slightly makes up for it :)
I did find it rather short and I wasn't expecting it to end like that, so suddenly. Have you ever thought of writing and epilogue? Like what happens to the father, Michael and Holly. Just a suggestion.
The last sentence in the summary: "Will he ever be able to forgive his father...himself?" That doesn't really make sense, because if he doesn't forgive his father himself then HE can't forgive his father. Maybe: "Will he ever be able to forgive his father... by himself?" would be better, but it still sounds a little like something's missing. Maybe someone could give you better feedback - then again, it IS the last sentence in a brilliant summary, so I don't think anybody'll really mind - I sure don't.
Great job; keep writing..
I did find it rather short and I wasn't expecting it to end like that, so suddenly. Have you ever thought of writing and epilogue? Like what happens to the father, Michael and Holly. Just a suggestion.
The last sentence in the summary: "Will he ever be able to forgive his father...himself?" That doesn't really make sense, because if he doesn't forgive his father himself then HE can't forgive his father. Maybe: "Will he ever be able to forgive his father... by himself?" would be better, but it still sounds a little like something's missing. Maybe someone could give you better feedback - then again, it IS the last sentence in a brilliant summary, so I don't think anybody'll really mind - I sure don't.
Great job; keep writing..
4/16/2010 1:26 PM PDT
I have to go after reading the first chapter, but never fear - I will be back. I am TOTALLY addicted. Be back as soon as I can!
4/20/2009 11:47 PM PDT
A thumbs up definitely! I was surprised at it's short length, but it still contained the same content that I would expect to find in a large novel, so since it has that, the length doesn't matter.
Good job!
~Denise
Good job!
~Denise
This Feedback was...
4/20/2009 9:33 AM PDT
Amber-I tried very hard to incorporate more into this but felt that it simply took away from it. As stated, I am working on longer books to go into the histories of each character but feel it is necessary to keep this one as is and first in the series.
4/19/2009 11:01 PM PDT
Wow, FaithAnneLove! :D! Your project is in the spotlight! :D! Well done! :D!
This Feedback was...
4/19/2009 4:07 PM PDT
vote vote vote
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4/19/2009 3:30 PM PDT
Oh no, I think I clicked the wrong button. If I did I am sorry. It was supposed to be a publish vote.
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4/19/2009 3:29 PM PDT
This is very good, but I think it is too short for a stand alone book. I voted for it anyway, but you should expand it if it doesn't get picked this time around.
This Feedback was...
4/18/2009 6:14 PM PDT
Wow this is v ery interesting and I voted for ya! Good luck!!
Hugs,
Kathy
Hugs,
Kathy
This Feedback was...
4/18/2009 7:12 AM PDT
annikaca, don't worry about it, thanks you for the time you did put into the review, i really appreciate it!
4/18/2009 6:39 AM PDT
I also loved it and believe its a wonderful story - I think it needs a little editing...not what was mentioned below though. I have lived in a town with a pop of 400. One paved street says underpopluated to me. Its part of small town life, the young people almost always want to move to the 'big smoke'.
I dont have the examples - sorry have a little one and therefore no time to re-read, but there were just a few words that seemed a little wrong, not your imagery or anything - that was fantastic.
Voted for publish - and will take notes next time - not that that helps here sorry again.
I dont have the examples - sorry have a little one and therefore no time to re-read, but there were just a few words that seemed a little wrong, not your imagery or anything - that was fantastic.
Voted for publish - and will take notes next time - not that that helps here sorry again.
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4/18/2009 1:26 AM PDT
this is really well written!
i love it!
i love it!
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4/17/2009 1:38 PM PDT
I think there should be more books out here like this one because there are lots of people going through what michael is going trough in this story. maybe this storycould help them with their prblems
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4/17/2009 5:50 AM PDT
The biggest feedback that I have had throughout writing this is that they wished there was more to it...well, I just want to let you know that I have started another novel with the history of each character. So far it is 35000 words but very seriously rough draft. I am no where near finished and am thinking about splitting it into several books-one for carletta, one for the father, one for Michael, and one for Rose. I have introduced a few more characters and may do single books on them too.
4/17/2009 4:25 AM PDT
Didn't know you had a novel and this is really good.
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4/17/2009 4:13 AM PDT
Oh, go for it!!! This is serious stuff and written bravely.
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4/17/2009 2:37 AM PDT
Thank You,
Your, work has been received. Enjoyed every word. There is more here, that you yourself, have chosen not to bare?
These characters are, of you. And therefore, rightfully, know one Else's. Carletta!
Share" them ". Make " them " , Shine.
Thank, You, Again.
Until Then.
Your, work has been received. Enjoyed every word. There is more here, that you yourself, have chosen not to bare?
These characters are, of you. And therefore, rightfully, know one Else's. Carletta!
Share" them ". Make " them " , Shine.
Thank, You, Again.
Until Then.
This Feedback was...
4/16/2009 7:34 PM PDT
I've read this and I think it's great, you totally have my vote!!
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4/16/2009 2:11 PM PDT
This looks great. . .I voted.
4/15/2009 7:55 PM PDT
good luck [=
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4/15/2009 5:31 PM PDT
great writing as always...M.
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4/15/2009 4:33 PM PDT
You got my vote, and my support on a good project. I must disagree with elsewhere because I come from a 'one paved street and no stop light' town and it definitely has a population problem. I also like the imagery of craters lashing out. They are vile and unforgiving things that seem to take pleasure in inflicting as much pain as possible on the underside of any car. I've seen it before.
Seriously, a good project that pulls at the heart. Great characterizations and dialog.
Seriously, a good project that pulls at the heart. Great characterizations and dialog.
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 10:27 AM PDT
whether there is editing needed or not nothing can hide the fact that this is a powerfully good story - thumbs up
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 6:35 AM PDT
thanks for the suggestions though I have to defend myself on a few things-I do believe that having only one paved road leads to the conclusion of under population unless you are in a third world country which this obviously does not take place in. And I do feel that potholes/craters come after me, though it is physically impossible, when the road is completely riddled witht hem, it feels as if they are alive and out to get you.
Don't feel that I am trying to just be defensive, I do appreciate your suggestions and am glad you left them, I just don't have to agree with them =) Thanks again!
Don't feel that I am trying to just be defensive, I do appreciate your suggestions and am glad you left them, I just don't have to agree with them =) Thanks again!
4/15/2009 6:27 AM PDT
i agree wit tha person below, it is a really good story tho
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 4:07 AM PDT
It's a good story and will surely make a published one but not before someone has committed to some thorough editing, and/or you have gone over your writing with a little distance and a fine tooth comb - it's hard, I know. There are some basic flaws you'll have to deal with, and they appear everywhere:
For example:
"The only paved road, which also sported the only stop sign, was Main Street. This under population did not mean an easy job for a mailman, though. "
It is by no means clear from "the only paved road" tthat this place is underpopulated. When you follow that first sentence with "THIS underpopuluation" you are drawing a conclusion which doesn't quite work.
Or:
Today he was especially tired, having had to fend off several unleashed dogs and innumerable craters that lashed out at the underside of his truck.
Craters just don't lash out. Your truck may bounce or bump over them, you may get stuck in them, but they are passive things, they don't "do", they're just there.
I enjoyed the story and hope you go back making it better and better and keep writing.
For example:
"The only paved road, which also sported the only stop sign, was Main Street. This under population did not mean an easy job for a mailman, though. "
It is by no means clear from "the only paved road" tthat this place is underpopulated. When you follow that first sentence with "THIS underpopuluation" you are drawing a conclusion which doesn't quite work.
Or:
Today he was especially tired, having had to fend off several unleashed dogs and innumerable craters that lashed out at the underside of his truck.
Craters just don't lash out. Your truck may bounce or bump over them, you may get stuck in them, but they are passive things, they don't "do", they're just there.
I enjoyed the story and hope you go back making it better and better and keep writing.
This Feedback was...
4/15/2009 2:23 AM PDT
thanks for the different view on things! I had people tell me to make it longer, even into several chapters, but I liked it the way it was as I delivered the important info and didn't want everyone to concentrate on unimportant things as they may get distracted from the point of the story. I'm not sure I could have made it shorter either as the necessary info would be missing, but it's something to think about. Thanks!
4/15/2009 1:43 AM PDT
it was very good. a little to drawn out for my liking but not bad. i dont care much for long time line prologes but i feel that the idea behind this story will be amazing.
This Feedback was...
4/14/2009 5:32 PM PDT
Loved every line! Keep it coming & Good Luck!
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4/14/2009 4:31 PM PDT
Yes, wonderful story.
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4/14/2009 3:10 PM PDT
Has my vote to publish, for sure
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4/14/2009 2:54 PM PDT
Wow that prologue was simply beautifully written. Definitely a yes for me and I hope to read some more soon
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4/14/2009 12:27 PM PDT
heart of hope-you should be a professional feedbacker
4/12/2009 10:23 PM PDT
An emotionally-gripping story told with the hardened grit of reality and the tooth and nails struggle to survive. Spell-binding and compelling, a "yes" to publishing!
This Feedback was...
4/11/2009 4:20 PM PDT
Very well written.
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4/11/2009 1:03 PM PDT
i love your writing
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4/11/2009 8:14 AM PDT
Great write!!! good luck...
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4/11/2009 4:45 AM PDT
Literary fiction of the highest quality.
This Feedback was...
4/10/2009 9:51 PM PDT
Good luck.
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4/10/2009 7:46 PM PDT
This is a simple, heartwarming story that couldn't fail to move anyone reading it. So I've posted my vote...now you'll just have to wait for the mailman to deliver it. T. ;-)
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4/10/2009 2:37 PM PDT
This Feedback was...
4/10/2009 2:37 PM PDT
I had a look and I liked, Good Luck!
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4/9/2009 8:12 AM PDT
Heartwarming and soul awakening!
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4/9/2009 6:43 AM PDT
You've got my vote Faith!
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4/9/2009 12:59 AM PDT
Goodluck Faith, love Wennie xxxhugs
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4/8/2009 7:09 PM PDT
Wonderful!
Good Luck!
Good Luck!
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4/8/2009 6:08 PM PDT
Good luck to you, Faith.
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4/8/2009 4:13 PM PDT
Got my vote as well!
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4/8/2009 2:55 PM PDT
Got my vote. Good luck
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4/8/2009 2:44 PM PDT
A lovely read Faith...all the best and thumbs up!!
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4/8/2009 2:00 PM PDT
You are a great writer. I really like this. Your descriptions were vivid, visceral and heartfelt. Good job.
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4/8/2009 8:49 AM PDT
you get my vote!
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4/8/2009 5:39 AM PDT
Like it
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4/8/2009 4:50 AM PDT
Get published now! All the best.
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 7:11 PM PDT
Good work!
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 4:20 PM PDT
great work.
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4/7/2009 3:45 PM PDT
Got my vote - keep up the good work!
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4/7/2009 2:35 PM PDT
nice read
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4/7/2009 1:19 PM PDT
Such a tragedy happens daily; you've touched on one of societies hard-felt problem; i hope for her there's a light at the end of the tunnel: good read. you've got my vote.lol.
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4/7/2009 1:08 PM PDT
im so glad u put this up to be published
i love it :)
thanks for putting it up
i love it :)
thanks for putting it up
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4/7/2009 12:48 PM PDT
You've got my vote Faith.
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4/7/2009 12:21 PM PDT
This is an outstanding novel, and you have my vote !
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4/7/2009 12:03 PM PDT
totally!
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4/7/2009 10:01 AM PDT
My vote has been cast. Best of luck to you!!
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4/7/2009 9:32 AM PDT
Amazing Story
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4/7/2009 9:26 AM PDT
you weren't supposed to make me cry! It was a good cry though
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4/7/2009 9:09 AM PDT
Go mom!
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4/7/2009 8:40 AM PDT
You surprise me with each story you write.
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4/7/2009 8:30 AM PDT
Hi there, best of luck, here's a vote from me, I say publish!!!! :)
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 5:38 AM PDT
Publish!!
This Feedback was...
4/7/2009 2:46 AM PDT
Publish this
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 10:48 PM PDT
You got my vote! A wonderful-sounding book!
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 8:15 PM PDT
A great write! You have my vote!
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4/6/2009 8:02 PM PDT
very interesting.
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4/6/2009 7:23 PM PDT
Okay, you got my vote!!
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 6:47 PM PDT
Great job!
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4/6/2009 6:40 PM PDT
a wonderfull piece of work....
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4/6/2009 6:14 PM PDT
PUBLISH PUBLISH PUBLISH!!
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4/6/2009 4:58 PM PDT
I love how you play out the relationships in this book it gives the reader real in site in to the characters. I really feel sorry for the dad that about his illness and his son not following his foot steps. This ch like the others is well written. The para.that starts with( I should done) Michael is missing an e. Love your book.
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 4:56 PM PDT
You got my vote!
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4/6/2009 4:14 PM PDT
AMAZING BOOK!!!! I voted for you!!!
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4/6/2009 3:15 PM PDT
Great book! ; > D
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4/6/2009 12:51 PM PDT
this is awesome! it must be published!
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4/6/2009 12:11 PM PDT
Great book, good luck on the voting!
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4/6/2009 10:50 AM PDT
SUSEPNSEFUL/ENETRTAINING!
PUBLISH!
PUBLISH!
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4/6/2009 10:02 AM PDT
You are a very good writer I love your style. I voted for you please vote for my book "King Loverr: Diary of a Philosophical Loner.
This Feedback was...
4/6/2009 9:50 AM PDT
great loving family story good luck God bless my friend mike
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4/6/2009 9:36 AM PDT
Good luck FaithAnneLove. I voted to publish
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4/6/2009 9:11 AM PDT
What a great story this is. It is well written and plays on a wide range of emotions. I highly recommend this as a MUST PUBLISH literary work.
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4/6/2009 9:08 AM PDT
A story fit for Lifetime TV. It should be developed into a screenplay. Well done and congratulations.
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4/6/2009 8:14 AM PDT
Great story and well told with feeling. A vote well cast.
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4/6/2009 8:13 AM PDT
A very emotional story. You know you got my vote Faith. The best of luck to you
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4/6/2009 6:27 AM PDT
A great heartwarming story that brings tears to your eyes.
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4/6/2009 6:01 AM PDT
Good Luck, you've got my vote
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4/6/2009 3:07 AM PDT
YOU GO GIRL!!
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4/6/2009 2:41 AM PDT
I've gone through the entire book and I loved it from the start till the end. There always are things that can be made better, but isn't a book always a work in progress?
Good luck!
Good luck!
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4/6/2009 2:38 AM PDT
Just one word, good luck!
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4/6/2009 2:35 AM PDT
Good luck! This is a great story and I hope you do well :-)
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4/1/2009 1:30 PM PDT
For those voters/reviewers trying to visit as many projects as they can, putting the voting zones together by rearranging the chapters before the vote would be helpful. Just a suggestion.
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3/25/2009 12:54 PM PDT
A very thoughtfully done story, which moves along well, taking the reader from one chapter to the other pretty seamlessly.
A satisfying conclusion.
A satisfying conclusion.
This Feedback was...
3/23/2009 6:01 PM PDT
sounds really good from what iv'e read of the introduction i will have to read this
This Feedback was...
3/23/2009 11:06 AM PDT
Ooh you've submitted this?! I will definitley have to give it a read!
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3/21/2009 5:33 PM PDT
So far I've only read the prologue and Chapter 1. There are a few typos and things to look at but I think it's moving on quite well.
This Feedback was...
3/7/2009 1:12 PM PST
Sounds cool
This Feedback was...
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