I was just sitting here going through ten years worth of my old poetry, love letters, and journals and came across a letter to my Aunt Chrissy.  I wrote it to her, and for her. to tell her how I felt about not being able to get to her. I love her and miss her more than words can describe.. The shame I feel is sometimes unbearable.  You see, I could not tear myself away from the fighting, the drugs, the crazy clingon thing that I had become ~would not let myself leave my husband.  Co-dependence i ... more »

I was just sitting here going through ten years worth of my old poetry, love letters, and journals and came across a letter to my Aunt Chrissy.  I wrote it to her, and for her. to tell her how I felt about not being able to get to her. I love her and miss her more than words can describe.. The shame I feel is sometimes unbearable.  You see, I could not tear myself away from the fighting, the drugs, the crazy clingon thing that I had become ~would not let myself leave my husband.  Co-dependence is insanity

My husband's mother had passed away and we went to California to go to her funeral.  We stopped in Oregon to see my Aunt because she was very sick.  Someone had tripped over her oxygen hose and she was without air for over eight hours. My Aunt Chrissy had contracted pneumonia from this incident and was not expected to live long.  She had been fighting emphasima for many years, had a husband who loved her and two kids.  Lela and David. 

 Little David had passed away a few years before.  His life was taken because of  a high speed chase involving authorities.  A half mile from his home, rounding the last corner he smashed into the curve and was beheaded. My Aunt, Uncle and Lela were never the same.  Aunt Chrissy did not have hardly andy days after that did not feel horrible pain. Some days she hallucinated from lack of oxygen and her stories were quite funny.  But...not really. She once thought she was on a bridge and that my Uncle was a troll and would not let her pass.  When her baby died a part of her did too and her suffering was immense.  She had told me she was ready to go home to be with Little David, her mom, dad and brothers.  I am so sorry.

 I thought It would be so good to be able to post my letter to my Aunt Chrissy right here with you~ and maybe you can do the same with a letter you might still have.  Words that never got said in a letter that never got sent.  Less