Book Info
-
Project Leader:
Aniytlia
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Participants:
The WEbook community -
Who Can Write:
Project Leader Only (Closed) -
Category:
Fiction -
Genre:
Sci Fi/Fantasy
Romance -
Language:
English
book_central
Aniytlia
I can feel the energy thrumming through me, like electricity, pulsing in from the surrounding area, moving through my body and exploding forth in a burst of light and power.
. . . Magic . . .
(Please, comment often so I know who's still reading, I love feedback and that's the only way I know how I'm doing. :D Please, even if you have nothing to say, just leave some feedback so I know you're still reading :D )
. . . Magic . . .
(Please, comment often so I know who's still reading, I love feedback and that's the only way I know how I'm doing. :D Please, even if you have nothing to say, just leave some feedback so I know you're still reading :D )
GIVE FEEDBACK
As soon as i read your title i thought to myself. YES YES YES! this is exactally the kind of book i would read and without a doubt I would read it in a heart beat so that is exactally what i am going to do! OMG I hope you get published!
Seems interesting.. I'm still unsure as to what this is about, but I'm willing to give it a go.
RPG? I don't role play, at all. I don't play much video games either. *shrugs* tolly my imagination.
Wow, somebody plays a lot of RPGs XD
I'm gonna be blunt. The dialogue is dry. The entire story lacks detail, character development, and inspiration. Bad news aside, I find your conviction compelling. You obviously have the passion for this story.
I can tell you feel your story. I can tell you enjoy the open-ended possibilities of story-writing. I can also tell you need more practice.
I've come up with many book ideas, all of which have fallen flat. It's hard to write an entertaining story with artistic relevance. As it stands, this story is more befitting of a children's video game.
Write on.
I'm gonna be blunt. The dialogue is dry. The entire story lacks detail, character development, and inspiration. Bad news aside, I find your conviction compelling. You obviously have the passion for this story.
I can tell you feel your story. I can tell you enjoy the open-ended possibilities of story-writing. I can also tell you need more practice.
I've come up with many book ideas, all of which have fallen flat. It's hard to write an entertaining story with artistic relevance. As it stands, this story is more befitting of a children's video game.
Write on.
Nice looking map. I'm going to have to do one for my own story eventually. This gives me some good ideas.
I'm excited to read how you describe magic and how it's used and where it comes from because there is so many you can go with it. Which makes it a wonderful topic to write about.
Amazing work - truely is magic writing here! I would like to congratulate you on your project! WELL DONE!
Okay! I got a little late going on the Researchers featured stories, but yours is the FIRST! and your story s up on the group, the new project, my profile, the mass message has been sent out and I will be strting on feedback SOON! :) I already LOVE the description and all your previous work!!!
ok, i can for sure do that lol... if you want, you can send me a pdf file of it, and i can print it out, edit, and mail it back to you. let me know... my email is tcrose88@gmail.com
Basically I need editors and I really need people to read this, to tell me how I'm doing. I really want this to be just right :D
I was just wondering why you invited me to join your project. It seems like you're well on your way to developing your story, and you seem to have it already in your head. :)
Aniytlia is just a name I came up with, the entire series is centered around this place :D
The truth has more flair the fiction but don't ever let the truth get in your way of writing a good story.
I have read everything you have on your site and I like the way you write. I can feel the emotion in your use of powerful dialog. I can see you love to write as I do. You write with a flamboyant passion, of course I’d expect that, after all you live in Utah. The angel Maroni flies through the skies and inspires Utah writers. It was Maroni that wrote the inscriptions on the golden plates. Your home is in Bountiful (bountiful describes your talent) I am in West Valley south west of Salt Lake City. I know several we bookers who live in Utah, they are all excellent writers. Since we are neighbors I hope you don’t mind if I call you my friend, I still have room in my heart for more friends. Aniytlia, is a very captivating story. Thanks for posting the synopsis on Treasured Stories.
http://www.webook.com/project/The-Misadventures-of-Pistol-Packing-Big-Daddy-Cash
http://www.webook.com/project/The-Misadventures-of-Pistol-Packing-Big-Daddy-Cash
Earlier reviewers have done it quite well for you, Aniytlia. But I should add to that that switching tenses is a way of writing but you have to do do it very carefully as when you feel it required, not at random. Otherwise, there will be confusion in the flow of storyline
The storyline is quite interesting. It would be more interesting if you could do the description in a bit more grandiose manner - I think the story demands flowery and macabre flow of words. Otherwise, I think there is smoothness all the way.
One spellcheck : war fare should be warfare.
I'll read the other chapters in gradual intermission.
So much for this - it is great going I must say, well done.
The storyline is quite interesting. It would be more interesting if you could do the description in a bit more grandiose manner - I think the story demands flowery and macabre flow of words. Otherwise, I think there is smoothness all the way.
One spellcheck : war fare should be warfare.
I'll read the other chapters in gradual intermission.
So much for this - it is great going I must say, well done.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . interesting idea, but I don't think I'm gonna do that, I've got all my info and stuff her on this account and I doubt my mom will ever find out if I'm careful, she doesn't go searching through my stuff, as long as I don't pull this project up while she's in the room I should be ok
*fingers crossed*!!!
*fingers crossed*!!!
If you made a new account and posted it there, how would your mother ever find out?
Honestly, I like it when stories don't have a smooth flow, it has to be like the ocean during a storm, not calm, but edgy.
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