I don't know how to make him care.
I don't know what to do without his arms around me.
I don't even know if it's really me that's breaking us apart like he says,
or just his anger.
Whatever it is,
he has changed me in a way no one has.
I am no longer who I once was.
All I am is an image of what he wants me to be.
A person that is there to make him happy and forgets about the person trapped within.
The stupid, naive women he has made me tries everything in her power to plese him and make ... more »

I don't know how to make him care.
I don't know what to do without his arms around me.
I don't even know if it's really me that's breaking us apart like he says,
or just his anger.
Whatever it is,
he has changed me in a way no one has.
I am no longer who I once was.
All I am is an image of what he wants me to be.
A person that is there to make him happy and forgets about the person trapped within.
The stupid, naive women he has made me tries everything in her power to plese him and make him love her;
and I still fail miserably.
The part I chooses to forget is that he doesn't really love me at all;
he just loves the person he has make me to be when I'm with him.
That is the only person he cares for.
But still, I try to be that women he wants just for him to love me.
I don't want anyone else,
and I never did.
All I've ever really wanted was to have him think of me as someone he loves with all his heart;
someone he could trust and be there for;
someone that could make him sit back and think, "I love this women more than anything in the world and would do anything to keep her happy."
Someone that would make him consider himself lucky to be loved the way I love him.
Deep down, I really don't know if he does.
Although he says it,
actions speak so much louder than words.
Somehow, I've managed to fuck everything up from the beginning;
at least that's what he's put into my head.
I've ruined our friendship.
I've ruined our past.
And now, in one way or another,
I seem to be ruin our relationship.
I really try to hang on because I know what a good thing this could be if everything fell into place.
But, everything has fallen apart.
And hanging on, hoping for a change that's not going to happen only breaks me more.
So, maybe it's time for me to let go.
Maybe it's time to let the inevitable happen so there's less hurt on both of us.
But what sense does it make to let go of the one thing that is true in your world?
I guess this is a time when I have to be an adult and look at things in black and white.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Does this make me a better or worse person?
And I think I know the answers.
The stupid, naive women inside even does at this point.
Only fools would keep so much faith in something that, obviously, isn't going anywhere.
Maybe it's time for me to step up and feel the pain of everything that will fall apart around me;
but walk away knowing that the stupid, naive women that tried her best and gat her know where has opened her eyes and grown up.

By carmen santiago  Less